Se* & *rugs & Rock & Roll and Nursing

Chapter8

LISA INVITED ME TO MEET her folks in Inverness – I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. f*****g was. Her parents were lawyers and ran a practice on Huntley Street – overlooking the River Ness. Lisa assured me I’d get on well with them. A wee bit of my working-class brain worried they’d think I wasn’t good enough for their daughter. Don’t know why. Nerves, I suppose.

Early on a Saturday morning, we were up – packing the Beetle. Man, I loved that car. Lisa loved it too. A 1972 1200cc model with the wire wheels. The body was in fantastic condition. Not the interior though. Let’s just say it was showing its age. Beetles aren’t known for their comfort – that’s not the point. They’re just cool cars. Lisa would drive; I wasn’t on her insurance. For the best – she was a far better driver than me. Leaving Edinburgh, my head nodded to whatever my girl was talking about. I listened, kind of. My eyes drooped.

“Are you listening?”

My head jerked; my eyes widened.

“Sure.”

She laughed.

“Bloody liar.”

She rarely swore. Unlike me and my pals, who did – all the f*****g time. Since we got together, I’d tried to curb the profanities a bit. Not f*****g easy. Not that she minded. She knew what I was like – swearing didn’t bother her. I’d drifted off again – thinking about the wee blonde first-year student. I tried not to – didn’t try hard enough. Two weeks before, I’d been out with Bill. He was playing a gig in Bannerman’s, and I tagged along to give him some support. Bannerman’s wasn’t really my kind of place. Too folky. Too many f*****g beards. Bill was playing guitar – backing a female singer named Neptune. Thought it’d be totally shite, but it wasn’t, it was really f*****g good. What a guitar play- er my new flatty was; and the singer sounded like she came from another planet. During the second set – first-year student came in with a bunch of folks. I didn’t see her at first – too busy enjoying the music. I eventually spotted her at the bar – standing opposite me. No time to think or to plan an escape. My ninja-like reactions slowed by the Belhaven beer I was necking. When saw me she smiled. s**t. I smiled back. She carried on talking with her pals. I assumed one was her boyfriend – I thought was safe. I wasn’t. The second set finished, and my first-year friend came over. She looked tasty.

“How are you?” I asked.

“I’m alright, how’re things? Are you on your own?”

I started explaining about Bill when she cut me off.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

She went back to her pals – looked like a few were leaving; I thought she’d go too. I felt relieved. Not because I didn’t want her to stay – felt relieved because I wanted her to stay. She didn’t f*****g leave.

“My boyfriend’s working tomorrow. That’s him and his flatmate away home.” f*****g yes.

How do I get out of this? Looking for Bill – the cunt was nowhere to be seen. He’d left with Neptune and never said cheerio. Bastard.

“Do you want a drink?” she asked.

'No' is what I should have said. “Pint of Belhaven seven- ty shilling, please,” is what I said. That was it. I was f****d. We sat with her pals – a couple of whom gave me dirty looks. Maybe they knew me or knew of me. First-year student moved closer. Her perfume was subtle. YSL Rive Gauche – loved the smell. Go home, Calum, go home. My brain switched. Lisa, compartmentalised. This girl was cute as – in her jeans and jumper: simple and stylish. Her sandals revealed the painted toes I’d admired the last time I saw her and when she leaned forward, it revealed her white bra and a hint of tit – a magnet for my eyes. All I could think about was getting her out of that f*****g bra. Her pals were making a move. It was a Thursday night, and there were several late-night drinking options. This would’ve been my chance to leave – on my own. I f*****g stayed.

“Have you been to Negociant’s?” she asked. I’d heard of it but hadn’t been.

“It’s open till’ three. We’re going, come with us?”

Fuck. How could I say no? Should’ve though. Should’ve said I’d had enough and was heading home. Her smell and her t**s, man.

“Sure, why not?”

Her pals didn’t look too happy about me tagging along. The Belhaven had worked its magic – and I was being led by my d**k. Lothian Street wasn’t far. We went downstairs, the bar was jumping – a band played, sounded s**t. I wasn’t sure if they were playing covers or their own stuff. My first-year friend broke away from her pals and turned her full attention to me. I bought a pint of Stella; she had a gin and tonic – a double. The bar was doing a student promo. Could get messy. It was just after midnight.

“How’re things going with the boyfriend?” I asked, knowing if it was going well, she wouldn’t be sitting here with me. Women are not like us guys – thank f**k. Most of the time, anyway.

“It’s going great. We’re off to Italy next month.”

“Nice.”

“I’m moving in with him, into the flat on West Saville Terrace.”

“Nice.”

If she’s moving in – it must be serious? I didn’t ask. The thought of her being serious and moving in made me feel better. She put her hand on my thigh and squeezed.

“You want another Stella?”

“Can I have a vodka and lime, please?”

“Sure, you can have whatever you want.” She slid past, making for the bar, and I got a good look at her arse, the outline of her knickers. f**k, her arse man – it wiggled. What a wiggle. No more needed to be said. It was on.

I was back in the Royal’s nurses' home. I’d moved out because I was tired of hiding from people, and here I was – on my way to first-year student’s room. I’d been there before. We sat on her bed, I looked at her. f*****g cute. She stared at me, and I saw it in her eyes. The look of somebody in love. Tried to ignore it. Tried to tell myself it wasn’t a loving look. I knew it was though. The worse thing? It turned me on more. Aroused by the fact she cared for me, and I didn’t reciprocate. Not that I didn’t like her. I liked her. Not that I didn’t fancy her. I did, and that look in her eye made me fancy her even more. What a cruel bastard.

She removed her blouse and slipped out of her jeans – lighting three candles on her bedside table. I watched her take off her bra and knickers. What a wee f*****g body. My clothes were off – f*****g fast.

“Remember the first time we did this?” she asked.

“Yeah.” I vaguely remembered – nowhere near as drunk this time – neither was she.

We stretched the length of the bed and something happened. f**k. We kissed, and rather than getting stuck into her, I took my time – like we were lovers. What the f**k man? My plan was a quick shag and home. For the longest time, we snogged, her wee n*****s rubbing against me. It might have been an hour we spent kissing. Don’t f*****g know – time kind of went a bit strange. When I put my hand between her legs, she gasped. I could’ve come there and then. Her wetness. Her eyes when we snogged. Legs apart. My d**k inside. She gasped again. Don’t know what the f**k it was about that sound. Sexy as hell. I came. She wouldn’t let me go. I didn’t want to leave. I was happy there – lying between her legs. For her second wind she got on top. Snogging – slipping me inside. Doing all the work. No hurry. She took her time. I’m sure she came. I did. Clinging to each other. We fell asleep. When I woke – we were still in the same position.

“I have to go,” I said.

I dressed – she didn’t say a word. Never took her eyes off me though. I kissed her and left. Don’t know if I was still drunk crossing the Meadows - I felt weird, kind of light, as if I was in a dream. Working a late shift, I needed more sleep. Getting into bed, I was accompanied by a hangover and its pal – guilt. Not my favourite company. I felt guilty about leaving her. The way she stared at me stuck in my head. Part of me wanted to stay. I didn’t sleep well; a horrible anxious, alcohol sleep, anything but restful and I woke up feeling like s**t. I vomited and had a shower. No time to dwell on what a cunt I was. I was late for my shift.

My neck snapped back – my eyes opened in fright. We were well on our way to Inverness. Traffic on the A9 was light; Lisa drove like a pro. She knew the road well – having driven up and down it hundreds of times.

“Nice sleep?”

My neck was killing me.

“Not really.”

We sat in silence for a while, and she put her hand on

mine.

“Don’t worry, my parents are going to love you.”

She squeezed my fingers. Just a squeeze, but it was full of

love.

“I’m sure they will.” (Grin. Cheeky. Me)

She laughed.

Pushing Peter Gabriel 4 into the cassette deck, I cranked up the volume, and we sang along to Shock the Monkey.

Inverness, here we f*****g come.