Trust love

The smell of lavender flooded my senses. I look around and see so many amazing shades of purple, blue and green. This field was such a great place to spend my free time. No cars, no buildings, no pollution and most important - no humans. Being here it feels like a lovely fantasy. From nowhere, a phone starts ringing. Damn, I thought it was closed. I answered without any desire. "Hello?" "Cam? What is my lovely sister doing?", I hear the annoying voice. "I'm busy, Caleb. I have no time for your bullshit!", I say irritated. He's trying to say something, but I close the phone quickly. Caleb is my big brother and if he's calling me is only for money. I'm tired of trying to convince him to do what is right. Is not that hard to find a job after all. I know he was affected by the death of our parents, but I am just as devastated. I was 17 when my parents died in a car accident. A drunk and unlicensed i***t decided to risk the lives of himself and 2 other passengers for an evening ride and ended up colliding with my parents' car, which was going regularly. They had no chance. The drunk driver and the passenger on the right died after a few hours at the hospital and the only survivor was the girl sitting in the back. I feel guilty about their death because they came to me that night, but I can't change de past, unfortunately. The girl who survived the accident, Amara, became somehow my best friend. We had a kind of connection when we first met because we were both in pain, and the suffering brought us closer and closer to each other. I am grateful to have her in my life. After a while, I grab my book and start to read. Sometime I hate books, the fact that the girl always find a handsome bad boy and calm him down is so annoying. I mean, I have 21 years and I didn't find any handsome man to treat me like a princess. I know very well that I'm not ugly. Blonde hair, hazel eyes, full lips and a pretty good-looking body. Yeah, I can say I'm attractive, too bad that I'm not lucky. Fuck this book, I can't focus. I pack my things and head to the car. I start the car and the engine spins like a panther. Looking back at my secret spot, I fell a pain in my chest leaving. ~ I drove for a little over half an hour until I reached my apartment. It's not that big, but I love it. I decorated myself and I'm proud of that. When I open the door, plants, clothes and books are everywhere and that reminds me I have to clean it up. Sighing, I put my things down and start gathering the books scattered on the carpet. I count only 26 here and I know there are more in the bedroom. Putting on the shelves the books I gathered on my way to the room, I turn around to look at the mess I made last night. The sheets on the bed are scattered and a memory of last night rises in my mind. That man, whatever his name was, know how to please a woman. Too bad that he's an asshole. Leaving in the morning? Such a cliche. I put my indecent thoughts aside and start cleaning the mess. ~ After an hour, I'm on my way to my family's house. I stop the car when I see the medium-sized house and the once well-kept garden which is now full of weeds. My mother has always had an obsession with flowers, I guess I inherited that from her. God, I miss her. When I see the condition of my mother's cherished garden, I feel like I'm going crazy. I get out of the car and angrily enter the door knowing that my brother is home. I spot him laying on the couch with a glass of wine in his hand. f**k it! It's only 11 a.m. and the bottle is almost finished. "What the f**k, Caleb!", I say to him taking off my sunglasses. "Calm down, sister. Have a seat", he said with an innocent look in his eyes. "It's 11 a.m. and you're already drunk. If Mom and Dad were here now, they would be ashamed of you", I said with pain in my voice. "You're no better than me, sister," he paused and continued. "Just so you know, I've heard a lot about your life lately. Men like to tell how they spent the night with you," he said with venom in voice. "It's not your f*****g business who f**k me", I shouted at him. "Yeah, sure", he laughed. "I will say it for the last time, so listen to me carefully! Get your s**t together or I'll cut you off. I don't want to take care of an alcoholic like you, get a f*****g job and a girl who can handle your shitty behavior!" "Sure, sis. I would do that when you will stop being such a w***e", he laughed. "Only because your first boyfriend treat you like s**t, that doesn't mean you have to f**k every man you see", he said smiling. "You have no idea what your talking about, brother." At this point I had tears in my eyes and my hands were shaking. I walked to the door, then turned to Caleb and told him not to try to call me. I slammed the door behind me and drove calmly home. ~ Arriving at my little sanctuary, I let my emotions and memories come to the surface. I let them destroy me once more and promised myself that tomorrow I will feel better.