Fear me

You Fuxked It Up

Catalina

We made it to our resort and each went to our separate rooms. I didn't see anyone until the next day. I woke up early and had breakfast outside. The view was incredible. The sky was a nice shade of blue I hadn't seen since I lived in Brasil. I was taking another bite of my frittata when suddenly I saw Vicente and Adriano. They were shirtless and sweaty.

"Damn," I thought to myself. Their upper bodies looked unreal and perfect. You could tell they were related. These two had an energy unlike anyone else I have ever met.

"We are going dancing tonight," Bianca came in yelling. "I found the perfect place."

"Do I have to go?" I asked. I looked over at Adriano.

"Yes," he grabbed a towel and began to wipe his sweat off his forehead. "Can I have a bite?" I looked at him strangely.

"Um," I grabbed my fork cut a piece of egg, and then poked it onto the fork. "Here." Both brothers went to take a shower and get dressed. I spent most of my morning reading until it was time to get ready and go out.

Several Hours Later

I wore this yellow halter neck knit maxi dress with slits on each side. It had a low back. I felt pretty and comfortable in this dress. I just wanted to walk down the beach but we just had to go dancing. Bianca met up with some friends and Vicente went to go hit on some girls by the bar. Adriano and I just stood there for a few seconds.

"Come dance with me?" Bianca asked Adriano. I felt my body tense up. I wanted to grip his sleeve but he slipped right through my fingers. He was pulled away by Bianca. He didn't even bother to look back at me. The music was very Caribbean and Latin fueled. The percussion rhythm was calling me to dance.

"Want to dance?" a random stranger asked. I nodded. My hips swayed with the beat. I moved one foot forward and then one foot back. The handsome stranger pulled one hand forward and then the other. I was smiling from ear to ear.

"You are going to get someone murdered," Vicente interrupted my joy. I stopped dancing and looked at Adriano. He was holding Bianca tightly. The music slowed down and Vicente took my hand. "Dance with me." I took his other hand and brought it to my waist.

"You said you weren't afraid of him so, let's do this properly," I said. We slowly moved to one side and then slowly to the other. Our hips slowly rise and fall to the music.

"You think you ever had a chance to be happy with him?" Vicente asked.

"I don't know, I used to think it was possible but now," I explained. "I don't know."

"Are you happy?" he asked.

"I don't know, I am not unhappy," I admitted. "I don't think I will last if this keeps going the way it is but for now. It is better to have half of him than nothing at all."

"That's stupid, you deserve better,"

"I know but doesn't he deserve a normal life, a family. A woman who loves him," I said. "He isn't a monster as he comes off as. He is just a normal guy. This war he is fighting has already been won so why continue to torture yourself."

"You would have to ask him that,"

"I don't think he would tell me the truth even if I asked," I told Vicente. "I really do love him."

"I know," I turned my head to look at him. Bianca picked her head up from where she rested it on his shoulder. She kissed him lightly on the cheek. I felt my heart sink. I ran out of the dance floor and headed to the beach.

"Looks nice," Vicente said.

"Yeah," I looked up at the full moon and all the stars that lighted up the sky. "It shouldn't be this hard."

"I know," I felt the tears land on my cheek. I wiped them away and laid my head on Vicente's shoulder. He held me close.

I walked the entire beach alone. Vicente wanted to stay with me but I wanted to be alone. I ended up back at the resort around 3 am. I tried not to make any noise as I head back to my room.

"Bianca!" she had startled me. She was wearing nothing but a robe. She had a glass of water in her hand.

"Sorry, it was a long night and I needed some water," she smiled and headed into Adriano's room. I swallowed hard and felt my chest tighten. My stomach ached and I wanted to break something. I went to my room and began to throw things to the ground.

"AH!!!" I shouted.

"Catalina," HE called. His voice was rough and groggy. He had just woken up.

"LEAVE!"

"I can explain. I don't know what happened but I was drinking but I didn't mean to do it," he said.

"LEAVE!"

"Catalina,"

"NO, I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY. YOU DID THIS TO HURT ME WELL GOOD JOB!"

"I didn't do this,"

"No, then who f****d her," I argued. "You should have just killed me."

"I didn't f*****g mean to,"

"It doesn't matter," I said. "You ruined this. Whatever this was, YOU f****d IT UP. You killed it. I hope you are happy."

"Catalina," he said softly. "Whatever you are thinking."

"I am done," he chuckled at my words.

"You can't be done. I own you,"

"You will never have me ever again," I said. "I don't care what you do or say."

"CATALINA! STOP," he shouted. "I f****d up but I don't want her. I want-,"

"I don't care. Go back to her," I said. "She is probably waiting for you. Legs open and all."

"Stop!"

"Adriano, please just go," I said in tears. "I can't do this right now."