I FORCED MY EYES OPEN ONCE AGAIN AS THEY TRIED TO SHUT.
My body begged for me to close my eyes and surrender to the darkness but I refused. The fear of what I would see in my dreams was stronger than my will to rest. I knew this was a bad habit to form, but I couldn't help myself. The nights seemed to stretch on endlessly. I laid awake, my eyes looking up blankly at the ceiling for hours. Every time I shut my eyes, all I would see was his face.
My abuser.
I couldn't stop the flashing images of him looming over me, hitting me, beating me, choking me. . . And with these images, came back the memories and I didn't want those either. And so, I decided laying awake for the entire night was a better solution. I made endless cups of coffee, took cold showers. . . Anything to keep me
