Too Close, Too Fast

The Real Story

Vanessa

So, as it turns out… it wasn’t a message from Kirstie at all, but from Drake again. He finally listened to our little voice message and he answered a little offended: “Ok, next time, try to inform your station beforehand. Take care…”

I deleted that message and I decided to write to Kirstie. It’s true that I told Nick I would erase her phone number, but I didn’t do it, I only wanted to test Nick’s reaction. Now I know he still cares about her (obviously too much), so I need to take care of her… “Hi, glad to hear from U. What about lunch tomorrow?” I sent it to her and I made sure Nick couldn’t see what I’ve written.

“ I am stealing your date…that’s new for you, right?” I teased Nick about it and he kept begging me to let her out of this. When it didn’t work, he was asking me what I was planning to do and when and where I was going to meet her. Of course I didn’t tell him anything specific, but I quite enjoyed that he seemed more and more desperate. I love him, but he has already hurt me so many times… that this seemed like an acceptable revenge.

Kirstie answered quite quickly and agreed, so I invited her to Nick’s place. It was a little bit risky and I was worried she would say no to this proposal, because she would think that Nick’s inviting her there only to have s*x… but no. Wrong! “Okay, looking forward to it ;).” That was her answer… She’s really a w***e! Could you believe her?

I am just glad Nick didn’t see this conversation, because his ego is big enough already without this prove about his irresistibility.

***

Nick

I think I totally blew it. I tried to get Vanessa to stay here in the house (so I had an idea what she’s up to), but she knows me really well. She guessed that I was worried about Kirstie. She was irritated about it.

Then she said this: “Shut up already! I need to figure out a plan for my ‘date’ with Kirstie. You should be a good boy, because you don’t want me to be even more pissed that I already am, sweetie. You don’t want Kirstie to suffer much, right? A painless death sounds better, doesn’t it?” I suddenly got chills all over my body… Death? Is she really saying that? And does she mean it, or is it just some kind of sick joke?

I kept staring at her… “Vanessa, you wouldn’t really murder her, would you? That’s too much even for someone like you.” She gave me a creepy smile. “You don’t know what I am capable of Nick… But I have to defend our love now more than ever before.” That word ‘before’ got my attention.

“It almost sounds as if you’ve done something like this before…” Vanessa came closer and sat back at the chair next to the bed which I was tied to. “You have no idea what I had to do to stay close to you. You always gave your love to women who didn’t deserve it. I thought that once you’d be alone again, only with me by your side, you would finally realize that we are perfect for each other.”

“What have you done? Have you hurt anyone?” I asked, almost too scared to hear the answer. I probably should have just let it go… But I had to know. She didn’t want to tell me, but I didn’t give up, I kept asking her and then I just rolled my eyes and try to pretend I don’t believe her. I provoked her on purpose and it worked after a while. Vanessa was furious with me and then she told me everything. And it was terrible…

***

Vanessa

Even though I hated Nick’s wife Jasmine and her kids with all my heart, I somehow managed to pretend the opposite – because I wanted and needed to be around Nick, I had to make it look like I am dear family friend… To my surprise, it worked, Jasmine considered me basically her best friend and trustworthy babysitter of the brats… I mean the kids – the twins, because little Nicky junior was still a baby, so she breastfed him. Sometimes even in public, she wasn’t ashamed at all. But I hated it – it was like a torture for me.

But sometimes I enjoyed being on the sidelines and listen to Jasmine’s whining about her doubts about Nick’s fedelty. I even put the ideas into her head most of the times and she didn’t even notice it. In the beginning I was pretending to be on Nick’s side, defending him and denying all the possible information about his affairs. “But you two are really great friends, so he must have told you something… didn’t he?” Jasmine tried to find out more and then she begged me to tell her everything I know. “And if he tells you anything, could you please give me a warning or something, please?” She kept insisting, so I knew she was desperate. So then I started giving her subtle hints about private detectives…

Two or three weeks later she finally figured it out and actually hired someone to follow Nick. And she actually believed it was all her idea. I was pleased with myself… This way it wasn’t me who told her the bad news – that Nick was already sleeping with that dancer (cough cough… w***e) Amanda. I knew because it was me who introduced this ‘couple’… But Jasmine had no idea.

It was great to see her devastated over the news, she kept crying (even on my shoulder, bleh) and lamenting that everything was ruined and that she didn’t know what to do. “I don’t believe it, I always thought Nick is a good guy, but this? He’s such an i***t… “ I pretended that the ‘evidence’ that Jasmine showed me (just a couple of pictures), opened my eyes. I gave Nick a lot of bad names (for example – son of the b***h) and I kept on reassuring Jasmine that everything will resolve itself in the end. And slowly and gently, I tried to talk her into leaving Nick and divorcing him! I honestly thought it would work, Jasmine with the kids would disappear from his life and then I would damage his relationship with Amanda and Nick would be all mine…

But Jasmine kept changing her mind – we were talking almost every day and one day she started packing her things and the other one Nick bought her a bucket of flowers and she stayed with him. It kept going on like this for a while.

And then it happened… I still remember the day like it was yesterday…

February 4 2010

It was a typical Thursday morning, Nick was already on duty, so it was me who was helping Jasmine with the kids. We had breakfast in their kitchen, Jasmine took care of the baby and I prepared snacks for the girls to at the school. “Can I get a chocolate bar, auntie Vanessa?” Tracy asked and I played my part of loving aunt perfectly and explained that it wouldn’t be a very healthy snack. “There are some apple slices and if you eat them all, maybe I will give you something sweet in the afternoon, all right?” Luckily Tracy was satisfied with that solution and Annie didn’t even asked about the lunch and jut simply thanked me. She was always such a goody-goody, it was almost annoying. But this time I appreciated it, because we were already running late for school.

Jasmine drove like a maniac to get the girls there on time – and we made it. Lincoln Elementary School in New Yersey – we dropped the girls there and they even waved one more time before disappearing inside. I was waiting for Jasmine to start the car again, but she just sat there, hands still on the wheel, sad expression on her face, the baby in the car seat behind us…

“What’s wrong?” I asked and pretended that I cared about what was on Jasmine’s mind. “I don’t know what to do anymore… My life is slowly falling apart…” And she started yapping again about Nick’s affair. So I suggested that we could take a walk. “You know, you probably shouldn’t be driving in this state of mind anyway. Let’s leave the car here, there is a parking lot two streets away…” And before she started thinking of excuses why not, I volunteered that I would accompany her and little Nicky home and that I would return for the car and pick it up later, so Jasmine didn’t have to worry about it. It all started as a spontaneous idea, but only later it hit me, that it was actually pretty brilliant of me – Jasmine didn’t think twice about it and considered it only a help of a good friend, meanwhile I had a chance to talk to her and try to talk her into leaving Nick again.

Together we found the parking lot and left the car there, put Nicky into his stroller (that had been hidden in the trunk of the car) and took off for that walk. We’ve been talking the whole trip and Jasmine kept apologizing: “I am sorry I am such a mess… I am always trying to be brave for the girls, but when they’re not around, I am changing into sobbing and weeping monster. I feel awful that I am keeping you for so long today – I am sure you had better plans than helping me.” I waved my hand and lied about her being important to me. “ I am glas I can help a little bit.” I threw into it few worried looks … “I really hate Nick for doing all this to you… He disappointed me, really.” Blah blah blah…

She was glad and then she said that I shouldn’t worry about the car. “I can take care of it later, or we can just leave it there, because I feel like it’s gonna fall apart sooner or later, “ Jasmine told me and explained that she’s been having some problems with her car and it probably needs a fixing. That was my chance to talk more about Nick and how horrible he is. “And did you talk to Nick about it? He probably could look at it, or take it to car repair shop.” Jasmine sighed. “We haven’t talked about anything lately… But yeah, I think I mentioned it to him a couple times in the past actually.”

“I can’t believe he hadn’t done anything about it yet… He’s your husband for god’s sake, you are his family and he should be taking care of you,” She gave me a sad smile. “I guess he has better things to do.” Of course she meant his affairs and I pretended that I am totally appalled by his behavior. “You know what? I really think you should leave him. I am sorry I am saying this, I know it’s your life and not mine, but I hate to see you like this… I care about you and I can see you’re hurting and he’s acting like a jerk.”

There was a moment of silence. It was clear that she was thinking about it. “Yeah, maybe you are right, Vanessa. I didn’t want to admit it, but I feel like I need a fresh start in my life. Even though that’s gonna be really tough with three kids.” And she started laughing about it, so I joined in the laughter. But it was a big moment for me – she may actually leave Nick!

I was really happy about it the whole walk and even after, when I came back for her car, as I promised. Only then, when I sat in the car, my mind started playing tricks on me again. It was like a movie was playing in my head – and not really a good movie, I should say. In this scenario Nick begged Jasmine on his knees for forgiveness, she stayed with him and then told him what I has said about him. “You know, that Vanessa almost made me run away from you…” I heard Jasmine’s voice… Then imaginary Nick went to see me and yelled at me that I wanted to destroy his family. “Go to hell and never come back!” That was a terrible vision! What if it comes true? I thought.

Then it hit me… it could come true. And even if not and Jasmine will really leave Nick, she will always be a big part of his life – because of the kids. It would be actually much better, if Jasmine disappeared forever. But how to do it? Make sure… she’s not alive.

I realized I was sitting in her car… The same car that needs fixing, according to her. She even told it to Nick… “So if the car crashes somehow, maybe he won’t think about it twice, it will be a simple accident due to a broken vehicle.” It could work, I figured… Plus, I knew something about cars, because my late father used to run a car repair shop… at least during the days when he didn’t drink that much and was able to stand still. I always hated helping him around, but now I may have finally find a use for all that know how…

But it seemed maybe a little too much. So,  I returned to Jasmine’s and Nick’s house, ready to just give Jasmine her car keys back and forget about this crazy plan. She was waiting for me in the garden, sitting on the bench. She waved at me and it somehow made me hate her even more. Does she greet Nick like this every day? That should have been me!

I got off from the car and next thing I know, I hear myself saying: “Hi there, you were right about this car, by the way. The drive back here was a nightmare and I think something is seriously wrong with it… I think it could be the oil pump…” I lied, obviously, but she totally bought it and seemed surprised that I knew something about cars. When I told her about my dad, she asked the fatal question: “Maybe you could take a look at it, then?”

I suddenly knew what to do and I didn’t hesitate for even a moment. It was a perfect chance to mess up her car, without having to sneak around about it. Jasmine herself asked me for my help. Although she probably didn’t mean it the same way I did. I helped her to the grave… And her kids too, but that wasn’t part of my plan, actually. I didn’t know they would all be in the car later that night. But I figured out it was a destiny… Now, I was suddenly the only person, who was there for Nick.

***

Except, that I wasn’t THE ONLY ONE. I forgot about Amanda, Nick’s mistress at the time. Or maybe I didn’t forget about her, but I hoped she would disappear sooner or later. And she kind of did after the death of Jasmine and the kids. Nick was devastated and blamed himself, so he ended things with her quickly. But she never gave up on him…

I mean, she drew back for a while, left Nick and me alone and everything was working out fine for me… Nick sold the house and moved into my house in the neighborhood. I took care of him, while he was mourning. Later he was ready to go back to work, but he had problems controlling his temper around criminals, because he didn’t really believe Jasmine’s car crash was a simple accident. Luckily for me, he didn’t even think to suspect me. He was convinced that it was an attack on him and his work as a detective – that someone wanted a revenge for some of his cases. He was determined the find ‘the guy who did it’ and get him behind bars, or better yet, kill him. Ha was talking about it all the time, but it just got him in trouble. He had problems in his work and he wasn’t taking it too well – it almost looked like he was going crazy from all the pain. So he decided to step back and be a simple police officer again, not working on big cases and trying to ignore them and not worrying about them or Jasmine’s case at all, as he would say.

I really thought he was slowly getting better after this life change and later he found his own way of coping with everything, unfortunately it was sleeping around. And he even got together with Amanda. As I later found out, it was her, who texted him first…She kept trying it and asking, how he was doing, till one day we felt better and answered her. She got her claws into him and refused to let him go…  Nick even started living with her!

But I figured that Nick isn’t the greatest boyfriend material. It was easy to set him up with another skank and let Amanda find out about it… I had a little injury and had to be in the hospital for a few days. I called Nick to tell him I was there and he paid me a visit. So, I introduced him to a beautiful and single nurse Esme. They started hooking up after less than a week after I got from the hospital. Then I wrote an anonymous letter to Amanda and gave her the right adress, so she would find them ‘in flagranti’. It actually felt great to play with all of them like that – I was their puppet master and they kept dancing just the way I wanted them too.

Except that Amanda didn’t. Of course, at first she was pretty pissed at Nick for cheating, but you know what? She wanted to forgive him and start over. Could you believe that woman? So, obviously I needed to get rid of her too, or at least show her what I was capable of.. 

July 25 2013

I went to see Amanda at The Pink Garter club where she had a gig. She let me into her dressing room, while she was adjusting her costume and make-up. At first I only talked to her and tried to convince her that Nick won’t change and she shouldn’t lose her time with her. It didn’t work, but I had already thought of a plan B.

“Listen Amanda, I want to be clear with you. If you don’t leave Nick alone, you will regret it. You are a dancer, right?” I asked, even though it was pretty clear. I just wanted her to nod, so I could continue. “So, you probably need both of you legs, don’t you?” Then I gave her a decisive look and pointed to her long legs, now covered only in sexy lingerie and fishnets. “What do you mean?” she asked, all freaked out. It was starting to work… “That you wouldn’t want anything to happen to your legs, for example you really wouldn’t want for one of them to be… (dramatic pause, yes, I was enjoying that) chopped of, right?”

She finally got that I as serious. “Are you crazy, Vanessa? Why are you acting like this and threatening me all of a sudden? I thought you wanted me to be with Nick, you’ve introduced us… “ I explained to her, that she was supposed to be just a temporarily distraction, so Nick’s marriage would fall apart. “But now, when his wife is out of the picture for quite some time, I don’t need you anymore. In fact, I advise you to get the hell out of Nick’s life, don’t take him back … He’s mine, do you get it?”

“Since when?” Amanda chuckled, as she probably thought I wouldn’t fulfill my threats. “Listen, I have to be on the stage in five minutes, so let’s end this charade for now. But you can be sure, I will tell everything to Nick, so he would know what a crazy lady you are.” She stood up, grabbed a stuffed animal (probably a stage prop, but I didn’t care that much to ask) and left the room like a diva. That pissed me off and of course I had to stop her from talking to Nick. I followed her out of that room and yelled at her, but she didn’t even bother to turn her head or anything. She was coming towards a big staircase, but I was right behind there soon enough, so I pushed her down from it, before she made a single step herself.

Amanda fell down the stairs and I immediately run down to help her, so I could pretend that it was just a big accident. The fall seemed really scary and soon enough there was ambulance. Amanda was unconscious during the ride, so I managed to convince the paramedics and went to the hospital with them. So, when Amanda was checked and she woke up, I was the first person she saw. She wasn’t very happy about that, because she remembered what I have done to her. “So, now you know, I wasn’t joking around…” I said coldly and simply asked her once more to leave Nick and me alone and don’t tell a living soul about what had happened that day, or else… This time, she wasn’t all that brave and just nodded her head silently.

And can you blame her? She broke her legs, so she definitely wasn’t able to perform for quite some time.So, I think she finally learned her lesson – not to mess with me.

***

But then a terrible thing happend - Nick and Esme's relationship  seemed serious and he considered moving with her. ‘Again???’ I thought, pissed that he was slipping through my fingers. I repeated my old trick and sent Esme a clear anonymous message that Nick was cheating on her.

Esme didn’t care. I remember that I called her and told her ‘the good news’ and she started yelling at me: “I don’t listen to freaks who aren’t able to introduce themselves properly! And even if Nick slept with thousands of models or a freaking ghost of f***ing Mother Teresa, it’s still NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!” And she hanged up on me.

That wasn’t very nice of her – I actually kind of liked her in the beginning, but after this? She was a mortal enemy for me! I had to think of something that would break her and Nick up. But nothing seemed to be working and Esme was even that clever that she started having doubts about me. Once I was following her down the street and she noticed me – and from there, it got pretty ugly for me, real quick…

She even made Nick believe that I was a dangerous freak, so he decided to end our friendship, he didn’t want to see me, or talk to me anymore. I hated Esme for this and I wanted revenge. But before I was able to set my plan in motion, she had already acted against me. She told the police that I had been stalking her and Nick! Could you believe that? I mean, I was following them from time to time, but that was harmless, I just wanted to know more about them and figure out how to break them up and get Nick back.

So, they even got a restraining order against me! That really destroyed all my chances, really. So, after a few times, when I got too close to Nick or Esme, I ended up in prison. I don’t remember much from that times, even though I was there for quite some time. It was pretty ugly there, so I blocked all the memories from that place… As I’ve been told – I had a psychological breakdown there.

So, that’s why the judge then sent me to an asylum instead of a real jail. Although sometimes I still have the feeling that it was all just a big plan how to really make a freak out of me. After all, Esme was a nurse in a hospital, so she probably had a lot of connections in that area. She wanted to destroy me and she almost succeeded, because I spent almost three years locked up there.

But she forgot one tiny little detail – I wasn’t gonna give up that easily. And it was definitely easier run away from a madhouse than from a prison. They didn’t treat us like prisoners at all, more like children in the nursery – they were giving us various ‘treats’ when we were acting normally and didn’t try to hurt ourselves or anybody else. And if we were bad, according to the staff, they would just send us to the solitary for a day or two and that was all. After we were calm again, they were nice to us again, as nothing happened at all. They just knew they were dealing with people, who didn’t know any better.

But I wasn’t a loony, so all I had to do, was to be calm… and slowly, I got everything I wanted. So after some time they even let me in the garden. And soon enough I noticed that when a delivery of food and supplies came, the carrier always let the back gate slightly opened for a moment, while he was rearranging the load in his car. So, once I managed to squeeze through there and run away. That part was actually the easiest, because it was much harder was to hide in the woods and don’t let them find me. When ‘the coast was clear’, or at least it seemed so, I came back to the civilization and took a first train away from that city… And faaaar awayyy from New York. I don’t even remember where I went, but I figured they would be looking for me at home, so I had to stay ‘out of the radar’ for a while. I got a waitressing job somewhere in the middle of nowhere and started saving up. After two more years, I had enough (not only cash, but also courage) to dye my hair and get back to NYC.

There I had to get to my secret place, where I had more money... I never trusted banks, so I kept hiding all my savings… well, I won’t tell you where, go figure! But I can tell you that I managed to get to my stash and that there was enough money to make a fresh start. I bought a fake ID, got my beautiful new name Natalia and I went to a clinic that changed everything about my appearance.

And then it was quite easy to start over, find Nick and wait for a good opportunity and time for to meet him. And if that stupid Kirstie didn’t show up, who knows, how would it go…