Too Close, Too Fast

Truth about Natalia

Drake

Oh no, no, no – another phone call? Please, no journalists please! I can’t handle that right now. Oh, it’s only Nick. Sorry, buddy, you’ll have to wait, I’m swamped here. I’ll text him, so he doesn’t think I am trying to ignore him. Even though he seemed a little better, he’s still pretty unstable. I think he should go and see a specialist. He’s clearly starting to get paranoid, because he insisted that his girlfriend is a psycho and a possible criminal.

I promised him that I would look into it and I really wanted to, but this week is just one big nightmare. So, I couldn’t get to it yet. It’s just a favor for an old friend, so it clearly has to wait now, when I am dealing with government’s…. ok, you know what, I probably shouldn’t get into much details anyway. Let’s get back to work.

***

Nick

This thing is getting far more complicated than it should be… I tried calling Drake, if he has the results yet, but he didn’t answer at all. “Sorry, swamped with work, HUUUGE case, nothing new yet. I’ll call you in few days, ok?” At least I got this text from him, so I know he will call eventually…

That’s more than I can say about Natalia. She completely stopped communicating after the last phone call. She didn’t confirm the date and address for the doctor’s appointment that I had sent to her. She hasn’t answered any of my calls since and today was the appointment, so I went there and hoped she would at least show up… No, not a trace of her.

“I am really sorry for wasting your time, Catherine. I don’t know why she didn’t show up…” I was really feeling like an i***t. Catherine is one of my exes, so I probably shouldn’t even call her for favors, but she was so cool about it… she even joked around, when I called her: “Hmmm, pregnancy scare? You must be shi**ing your pants right now, am I right?” By the way, not far from the truth :).

Now I feel bad, because she really wanted to help me… and now this? Natalia kept us waiting her for more than half an hour and she didn’t even write or call, anything. “Don’t worry about it Nick, I am used to staying in the office after hours, anyway. I usually deal with the administrative work, but I didn’t mind talking to you. We haven’t seen each other few years. It was nice to catch up. But now I have to go home to my husband…”

She paused and looked at me with a little guilt in her eyes. “Come on, you don’t have to feel sorry for me… I am glad you found what you’ve been looking for,” I said and I actually meant it. We were dating for a while and I cared for Catherine, so when it got too serious, I told her the truth about my family and that I didn’t want to start another one… Truth is, she was maybe the only ex that heard it from me. And she understood, but nevertheless she wanted to settle down, so we broke it off and she found out that other guy Tom, who wanted the same things as her. Today I learned that they even have a toddler together already.

“I know it sounds terrible, Nick, but I am really happy now. I partly owe it to you too, because if we hadn’t broken up, maybe I wouldn’t have met Tom…” She thanked me and I felt a little uneasy, because I didn’t think I deserved gratitude for our break up or for my messed up past. So I just smiled and said some lame joke to ease the situation. Then Catherine encouraged me not to feel ashamed to ask for anything next time and we said goodbye.

But Natalia didn’t answer my calls, so I was starting to get really nervous and anxious. Not only that it was another indication that something wasn’t okay here, but I also kinda started worrying about her. What if something happened to her? I decided to go to the diner where she was working, but guess what they told me there? She quit! And nobody has heard from her either…

Now I am wondering, if I should go to her place. Maybe I will find her there and find out that she’s just been sick or something like that. I am hesitating a little, because truth is that just a few days ago I kinda wished she would disappear from my life, so now, when it happened for real, I probably shouldn’t be looking for her. Maybe it will create more trouble along the way. Except that I am a cop after all, so I can’t just close my eyes, when someone vanishes like this. Ok, it’s settled then, I am going to her apartment now…

***

I got into the building and started knocking on her door, calling her name. Nothing… She probably isn’t even home, I thought.

I had a few options: 1) go home and forget about it (no, never), 2) go ask neighbors if they saw her (possible) or 3) try to get into her apartment (I know, it’s a little excessive, but I chose this option). I decided to look around, if I could find her spare key. And of course, it was under the welcome mat by the door. Rookie mistake, Natalia! Any burglar would find it…

Hopefully, nobody will think that I am also a burglar or something like that. Even though I am starting to act like one, actually. At first I only wanted to make sure that Natalia isn’t laying there murdered or heavily injured. But she wasn’t in there, neither dead nor alive. No trace of any crime, not even a clue, where could Natalia be. Everything seemed to be normal, the place was clean, and there was food in the fridge, nothing unusual. There was even today’s newspaper on the table, so I stopped worrying, because that was a clear sign that Natalia was okay.

But once I was in the apartment, I remembered the first and actually the only time I had been here before. I thought about Natalia’s hesitating, if she should bring me here at all. I know it was a little nosy and not very sensible, but I decided to start looking around… for some evidence or clues that could help me find out what’s so weird about this girl and what she’s been hiding from me.

And after few minutes I found it. I found an old photo… of me. Thanks to the suit I was wearing on the photo, I realized that it’s from my prom night – so almost twenty years ago. ‘Oh my, I was really handsome back then,’ I thought, but then I started wondering, how this photo got here. Did Natalia steal it from my place? No, I don’t think so, because I don’t keep old photos in the apartment. I rented a storage unit for this stuff, because I don’t want to throw them out, but I can’t bear to look at them, especially, if there’s Jasmine on them. And she’s definitely on my picture from the prom. Even though somebody cut her off from this copy.

So, I don’t know, but that sounds like solid evidence that Natalia is really obsessed with me.  But I still can’t be sure where she has that photo from. Maybe she just found it somewhere on the internet or something and printed it. But why would she do that? Why wouldn’t she choose more recent photo?

Plus, I already had that feeling that I have already heard that her weird sneer of hers before. So, does she know me from high school? Apart from my Jasmine, I didn’t stay in touch with a lot of people. Of course there was… Vanessa. Wait… could it be her? But that’s impossible! I got a restraining order from her a long time ago and she ended up in a madhouse… Plus, Natalia does not look like her. Not at all.

I kept wondering about it and I was so confused, that I didn’t even realize that somebody started rattling with keys at the door. When I finally noticed that somebody was coming here, it was too late to do anything anyway. I just stood there like an i***t, when Natalia came home…

She looked at me, smiled and greeted me almost happily. “Hi sweetie, good thing you are here, I was going to call you anyway.” Like, WFT? She founds a guy rifling through her stuff and she doesn’t seem shocked or annoyed at all? She’s nonchalant about it? Who reacts like this???

“Call me? I’ve been calling you nonstop and I haven’t heard from you…” I said, while she was taking her coat off.  “You don't find it weird that I am here in your apartment alone?” She looked at me and then she just walked right past me to the kitchen and started preparing some tea.

“Not at all, I figured you would come sooner or later. I know you think you are still a good detective, so you had to come looking for me, when I got off your radar. It' really nice of you to care, I appreciate it... You want camomile or green?" She paused there for a minute moment and when I answered neither, because I didn't want any freaking tea, she nodded. “Of course, what am I thinking, you only drink black tea. Sorry, I hope I still have some left...” It was the truth, I only drank black tea - another thing she knew about me, even though I have never told her...

Let's find out what she has to say for herself, what excuse she created for ditching me at the doctor's office. “So, why aren't you answering my calls? Have you been avoiding me?” I asked at first. She turned around and laughed. “No, no, don't worry; you are not in the dog's house or anything. I just had a lot of stuff to do, running errands and so on. I am sorry I scared you. I will explain everything later. But I need the tea first, I am exhausted...”

My natural response would have been: “Exhausted? From what? You quit your job and you didn’t come to the doctor….” But I tried to remain calm and asked her only about the missed appointment. She still seemed annoyed by my question. She was facing me again and I swear I could see rage in her eyes. “I told you – I have a lot going on right now. Plus, you really thought I would be happy to meet your stupid ex Catherine? It was pretty inconsiderate of you to just send your girl for examination to a woman that you had been sleeping with. Maybe next time I’ll need to remake a dress, you will match me up with that stupid Teresa you’ve dated, right?”

This is exactly the moment where everybody else would ask her, if she’s crazy. But I didn’t have to ask her. I knew for sure. I didn’t tell her anything about either of my exes, but yet she still knew everything.

The only thing that still wasn’t clear, was her true identity. Could Natalia be really Vanessa? I mean, Vanessa was really obsessed with me and jealous of every relationship I’ve ever had, so it would make sense. Even though she has a different face now, different hair and even the voice doesn’t remind me of Vanessa too much. But maybe she’s only using a different voice to throw me off… So, how can I make sure, she just stops pretending and reveals herself? I  mean, the real dangerous aspect of Vanessa was, that I didn’t know about her true feelings and thoughts till it was too late. She was always a good actress and I remember she lost the control of her role in front of me only once,,, Only that one time..

June 14 2015

We’ve been friends for many years and she even let me live with her for a while, after I became a widower and decided to sell my house to not have an eternal reminder of my past life. I really depended on her during that time, but then I and Amanda got back together and I moved in with her. But not for long, because we broke up soon after that. Amanda somehow found out that I was cheating on her with another girl – beautiful young nurse from the hospital - Esme.

So, then I started dating Esme. She and Vanessa didn’t really hit it off since the beginning, but I was really naïve back then and I thought I could resolve the situation and make sure they would become friends. I remember, that I took Esme to Vanessa’s house in the suburbs back then. We were having dinner together, but the girls didn’t seem to be getting on at all. When we drank coffees in the living room, Esme asked Vanessa about her love life. “Are you seeing anybody right now?” And Vanessa wriggled and nervously said: “No, no, the truth is – nobody seems interested in me. Plus I know only one guy that I care about, but it’s complicated.”  Ok I admit, I wasn’t paying much attention to what she was saying, so I didn’t even noticed she was looking at me the whole time. Of course, Esme got that and soon they were fighting about me. I was really just amused by that and I started joking that I like cat fights…

That ended up pissing off both girls. Esme stormed out and Vanessa was in tears. “I am sorry that I ruined the evening. I just couldn’t take it anymore. You really have to sleep with every woman on the planet but me?” I tried to console her, but it was all news for me. “I didn’t realize… you know… that you feel that way, Vanessa. We’ve been friends since forever,,, “

She hugged me, or more precisely, kinda fell into my arms. Before I realized what was happening, she was kissing me. I stopped it, it felt really weird. “No, please, come on, Ness, don’t do this.” So, she started weeping again. “You don’t love me at all? Am I that hideous and unattractive?” I shook my head and held her hand. “Don’t say that. You are beautiful, but I just don’t feel this way about you. I love you and I thought you knew that – but only as my best friend… my buddy Vanessa. I always thought of you… more as of a sister that I never had.” She was silent for a few seconds, but God, it was the worst kind of silence of all time. Then she made a terrible scene. She started shrieking, as if she was a freaking baboon in the jungle or something. She started yelling at me that I am an i***t an inconsiderate jerk and that I ruined her life. “I’ve been waiting for you this whole time, being your best friend, waiting for you to finally realize that I am the only woman in the whole world for you!” She was really delusional and she threw a few things at me – a pillow, a cup, and maybe something else, I don’t remember exactly. I just know that I ran away the fastest I could from there and I haven’t heard from her for a while after that.

We patched it up with Esme for a while, but then Vanessa showed up again. She was stalking both me and Esme, so we got a restraining order against her. She never gave up though and still followed us everywhere, so my colleagues had her arrested and she almost ended up in prison, but during the trial, it came to light that she was in fact mentally unstable. So, the judge put her in mental asylum… And last time I checked, she was still there… Or at least that’s what I’ve been told.

***

Ok, meanwhile Natalia finally had that tea ready and she handed me one of the cups. She was clearly waiting for me to drink it, but I rather didn’t. You would drink something a psycho handed to you?

I probably should have just left immediately, get out of there and away from her. But I still wanted to know, if my theory’s right and the girl in front of me is really Vanessa. So I had to play her game… I pretended to drink the tea and then I left the kitchen and took the cup with me, so she wouldn’t see, that I didn’t have even a sip of it. She followed me to the living room I figured it would be safer there than in the kitchen, especially because she could get pissed and I don’t need to have knifes around her in that moment.

“So, you didn’t want to meet Catherine, then? Were you jealous?” She sat next to me on the couch and gave me a faint smile. “Do I need to?” Luckily, she left her hot tea in the kitchen, so I wasn’t afraid to say the following: “Yeah, you should. You know that Catherine left me and not the other way around, right? And Teresa? Yes, I think I was with her for a whole year, before she caught me in the bed with somebody else. So, it’s pretty obvious that you do have a reason to be jealous, because I apparently cared about THEM more than I ever did about YOU.”

It was working, she yelled at me something like: “Why would you say that? You yerk! Who do you think you are?” I waited for a pause and then I said: “Oh, I know, who I am – philanderer. But who are you? Why do you know everything about me and why do you have a list of my exes in your memory? You probably remember more about my s*x life than I do… And why do you have my prom photo? Where did you get that?”

She rolled her eyes at me. “I thought you already figured it out, didn’t you? You call yourself a former detective?” So, I nodded. “I think we’ve met already before – you are the girl who tried to ruin my life because I told you I didn’t love you… That you were like a sister to me… A buddy.”

And that finally was the trigger. “Stop saying that!!! I’ve never been your freaking sister or your stupid ‘buddy’. Do I look like a guy to you?”

I explained that it wasn’t like that. “No, of course not, but I just wasn’t interested in you. I’ve never had any romantic feelings for you whatsoever. I am sorry to say it harshly, but it’s true and you needed to hear it.”

 Then I began to feel scared, because she stood up and came closer, so she was almost breathing on me. “Shut up, Nick!” she yelled and when I wanted to push her aside, she stepped on my foot. She even had shoes with high heels, so it was hurting like crazy. “Listen to me carefully. Stop repeating that crap about feelings, Nickie. I’ve had enough of that. Maybe you didn’t love Vanessa, but I changed for you. Everything – my appearance, my gestures, my voice, my name, my past and my story, just all of it. I made sure that I’d become your greatest fantasy. So you have to love me now. You don’t have to care about Vanessa, but you HAVE TO LOVE Natalia. YOU MUST LOVE Natalia. You understand me?”