When the queen loves

The truth is that I still ask myself and insist on the same question, and even repeat itself within me and with the insistence of a questioner asking for charity yesterday, needs! Banal happiness or noble sadness that is superior to pleasure and pleasure, and from all cheapness or meanness, even if they are the only path to happiness or ecstasy? But I know for sure that it remains a false pleasure, a fleeting temporary pleasure ,,, it always remains in the gutter, because it is very expensive and we should not lose more for it than it deserves .. it is cheap no matter how much it is paid and whatever effort is made for it always goes away ... and disappears like a mirage ... it catches the wind in every direction and in any or all cases ... But there and on the other side of the shore of life I see you, noble sadness, lofty and steadfast even when you are alone. .with the courage of a fighter with the courage of a fighter standing Resilient in the face of this cheapness and that deceptive happiness ... tears fall from you with a tender that is made ... a gift that deserves a lot of effort and more than sacrifices ... tears pure as the whiteness of snow ... transparent as beads of rain ... O noble sadness that you are purer than being contaminated by the hand of sin Or sin or sin disturb you .... Pain is inevitable It always goes away ... and disappears like a mirage ... it catches the wind in every direction and in any or all cases ... But there and on the other side of the shore of life I see you, noble sadness, lofty and steadfast even when you are alone. .with the courage of a fighter with the courage of a fighter standing Resilient in the face of this cheapness and that deceptive happiness ... tears fall from you with a tender that is made ... a gift that deserves a lot of effort and more than sacrifices ... tears pure as the whiteness of snow ... transparent as beads of rain ... O noble sadness that you are purer than being contaminated by the hand of sin Or sin or sin disturb you .... Pain is inevitable But suffering is optional ... There are those who resort to it and think that by doing so, he will gain everyone's sympathy and attention. .and there are, on the other hand, who enjoy his pain ... and even be happy with it !!!! Willingly ..for a simple and difficult reason at the same time! ... it's the abstinent easy! He is the one who wants to purify himself from the inside .. he wants to buy his future happiness as most as possible .. his happiness is postponed .. but it is too large to be described by a description ,,, and he must spend a lot to obtain it .. it is the purest of distortion or turbulence with any sin Or even a suspicion of sin ... It is purer than cotton in its whiteness and purer than Walid in its innocence But her path is paved with thorns that bleed the feet. .but in the end she is real happiness, she knows how to heal wounds and cure all ills and diseases ..even if nothing happened !!! She was not (Farida) only in name, but was like that in every case ... She never forgot one day to extend a helping hand even to those who wronged her or betrayed her! .. She sought to please everyone she knew, afraid that she would hurt him with a word or scratch him with his gesture or his eyes ? Although some of them stabbed her with a dagger in the back, she never stopped extending a helping hand to everyone who needed her .. She often threatened and threatened revenge after a round with suffering and pain, but in the end she gave in to the first sympathy, hope, or request for help or help She did not forget her pain so easily, nor did she calm down, or her chewy spirit ceased to torment her, all she remembered was the pain or suffering caused to her by someone ... but she always smiled in their faces but her heart was crying .... She could convince everyone around that she was fine only one person, she was the same, would never be convinced !!!! It is said that great sadness sometimes only tears for him. He is content with making a friend silent, and this was her condition .. So what would the words help her .. Most of the time she did not want anything at all ,,,, she was waiting for her day to end in silence ... Perhaps she might I got used to the pains that live within her or that she went through, or perhaps because there is no longer a place for new pains As I have always been used to wiping away the tears and pains of patients in the hospital where a nurse works ... I also used to heal her wounds and relieve her suffering by herself and herself ...! Although she was living with her older and only brother after the death of her father, she often drenched in tears, remembering many of the family or relatives who she wished to embrace and shower them with a barrage of her kisses and longings .. How she wished to see people who did not tell us the date of their departure! If only she knew, if they knew .. The pain and pain of separation would have been much less and perhaps so ... that one of the most painful things To become attached, then attachment ... then attachment, then separation ... Many nights, a fountain of sweet tears that drowned in the desert and her pillow at night burst out with her, so she burst out with her green meadows of patience and patience that contained her heart, so a safety valve was opened from crying and all pressures came out inside her In peace and quiet ... some may ask why? She loved him (Farida) strongly, but wholeheartedly, but with all loyalty ... She never wanted to follow this one The methods that are usually followed by girls or women, which are full of tricks, deceit and female deception, full of the fragrance of deceit and the delusional fragrance of sin ... He was a doctor working in the same hospital, and she saw him in front of her every day .... I loved her as she loved him and adored her just as I loved him .. Together they exchanged looks, smiles and even laughter .. He never wanted to touch even a strand of her beautiful chestnut hair! He was content to look at him as if it was a star in the sky seeking close to it, but he was afraid of that ... or as if it was a bright sun with a warm and beautiful beam, filling his heart, but he could not approach it for fear that he would burn with its fire ... But one look at him or touching him in peace A transient to complete more than one second or less, it was greater, but more than everything that could happen between a man and a woman .. When the soul whispered to the soul, everyone is silent and all For members that listened in fear and tranquility and anxious eagerness .... Finally I found him, and finally I knew that he was the other half of her, that he who completes it and completes all that is missing .. that she sees herself in his mirror morning and evening ... and they made a date to marry and the date of the marriage contract approached .. and the beloved did not come on time and hours after hours passed slowly and heavy The turtle of time carried her and passed on a long bridge of suspicious, anxious waiting .. Her brother ravaged her fiercely and said that he was deceiving .. but she did not believe she did not even dare To imagine this assumption .. Then it was the surprise .. He was injured in a hideous car accident that he almost lost his life as a result, but fate did and he did not die .. At first I breathed a sigh of relief and praised her Lord in his unrivaled longing .. But hey, the destiny did not want This joy is to be completed ... He has been chronically paralyzed and has no cure .. He will not move after today on his feet, and more than this, this paralysis has affected in one way or another the chance of his childbearing that he will not be able to see it after today ,,, what a strange paradox of fate! The day she found him or he was about to do so is the same day he took him away from her and took him from her He resigned from his mission and was no longer fit for the profession or suitable for him ... Farida convinced him a lot to abstain from the decision to abstain from their marriage, as she does not care about having children and does not accuse her of all the details that are supposed to happen between a man and his wife .. that she will not be deprived or miserable as her brother claimed He always warned her and rebuked her for refusing to marry .... But the lover refused to destroy her life with his own hands. How does he destroy those who love her? . How can he see her crumbling like a steadfast building in front of him day after day while he is silent looking at her in tears in grief? ... without extending a helping hand to her ... and how is the way for that when the hand is too short to reach the stars in the sky, so he used to see them ... How to spend her hopes And her dreams and femininity by himself.? How can he kill her pleasure and desire and bury her under his feet ... while she is silent surrendering to him in great politeness ... and noble tenderness ... and buried grief ... and a crying pity that is torn to pieces whenever you look at him? !! No, it will never be ... it will not be ... it will not be ... that both of them will be killed at the same moment, at every moment and every day ... He insisted in stubbornness and pride slaughtered and love wounded on separation ... He did not retreat from his decision in the midst of a storm of silent, deadly tears that plunged both of them into their eternal, eternal sea ... but they did not and will She forgot him one day .. she knew what was going on in his heart’s ravages and what he was suffering in himself and his chest from the pains he resisted while she slaughtered him .. but he was steadfast, resigned, indifferent to what she did to him that suffering or that sadness .. He made his decision and it was enough .... one of the greatest The pain is to love someone who cannot be yours .... She refused all the advice given to her, which he thought that those who said that ...! She did not listen to them, but did not hear them from the beginning .. You did not see anything but his eyes sunk in a sea of ​​tears ... which were always swept by a stubborn stream to his calm, sad shore full of the scent of sacrifice and the scent of love and tenderness .. So how would it be to others, even if it was not for him? It can not be for him now, but it will not be for him! ... She will not be ... and could she be for another and her heart is still with him who she loved ... It is betrayal with her own eyes ... and she wondered, could she be a body without a soul? And I wondered, should I be? Is betrayal only physical? Never, ever. .the true betrayal, even great in spirit and heart, it is greater than betrayal of the body and conscious of it, rather darker and blacker ... and soon the answers came and swept into them quickly the light and with every dullness and serenity, but with all calmness and indifference .. and from all colleagues, relatives and even enemies. Of course ... it is even natural for you to bond with another and marry him .. and there is no harm at all, and there is nothing wrong with having some feelings and affection for another person! What is the wonder about that ?! Are we angels and saints? !!!!! Time wipes out everything, as it is sufficient to heal all wounds ... She was lost and dulled her face, remembering their words, but rather their punches that slapped the face of her love with a strong blow ... Haha ... How many of you are traitors and traitors !!!!!! You admit to betraying yourselves and in cold blood you say and say that it is not real nor is it physical ... it is just normal feelings and emotions !!! How impressed are their justifications, and what is strangest your analysis of yourselves ... Rather, I do not despise and cheapen your deceit ... I am completely confident that if you had this For the souls of the patient who is burdened with your lies and your falsehood, and who are concerned about the cheapness of your feelings, she spat on all of your faces in order to remove her disease from her shoulders, which you are a disease and will not be one day ....! Do I live with someone I do not see when he is my Imam? Can I be a person whose voice I cannot hear talking to me? Do I lie in bed every night to be a pillow lying under a pile of thorns scratching and cutting my soul before my body every moment or every day? That this is very logical to you! ... It is natural in your calculations that I do not link my fate to a licky or sterile person, but your accounts with me are sterile Barren, she gives birth to nothing but zero on the left side always .. always many yellows .. nothing .. what is the benefit of someone who revives my body for moments, minutes, or even hours. !! What is the value of this husband that you want me to wish for me beside someone who revives my heart and restores his life to him every minute I see him .. That this cripple that you want and these two static, static feet are able to shake my being and restore life and happiness with a look, a touch, or a whisper .. these are moments between The embrace of this cripple travels with me as far as your helpless imagination, which is really like a cripple ... What fools and idiots .. There is nothing in life that is more painful to receive a slap without any reason mentioned! ... But I will continue my life path as I am .. I wipe out the tears and sorrows of others, perhaps my tears will disappear with the demise of their pain. .Perhaps my silent mourning will transform into a smile that relieves even a little of their burdens. ... I will bury myself among their grief and bandage all of their wounds with my hand ... and (Farida) lived between the sick and the suffering ... the wounded and the mourning She smiles wherever she wants to cry .. and sows hope where despair tears her .. How many sick people heal and recover grateful and grateful to her .. Thank you for that smile and the caring hand that instilled happiness in his heart before implanting in his body needles for healing or a drink that is medicine ... the height of patience To be silent, with a wound in your heart that speaks and to smile, and in your eyes a thousand tears ... it is the one who used to do that with all pride! It is very painful to laugh, preach, crush and smile to others at a time when you feel an overwhelming desire for sweeping crying! Even this old woman never forgot him ... and brought him to live in the house despite the objection of her brother and his wife ... who had always relied on him ... This old woman was a poor person who had no one or his dependents .. He was unable to pay money to the home of the elderly and the elderly His fate was the street or the inevitable death of hunger and poverty .. She fed him from her food and her drink ... She sat between his hands day and night. He was sick with the same illness of her lover as a wheelchair-bound lame ... he used to pull him with his hand whenever he moved a step or two, as if he was stirring with him his sadness, poverty and misery And his loneliness ... But she did not leave him one day until he left in silence and his smile did not leave his lips as if his smile owed him gratitude ... for it is she who drew it with her hands and said goodbye to that cruel life is the one who colored it with his feathers of happiness, hope and tenderness! She knew that he would not live long, so she wanted him to leave, with his smile on his face saying goodbye to that cruel life from which he saw nothing but misery and misery. She is the one who wanted him to taste the taste of rest and sip from the source of safety, even if only once or for a short period before his departure ... Is it reasonable or acceptable for him to leave that life without obtaining from it except her slaps and words ... He cannot obtain from it even if A drop of tenderness or a touch of safety, or a few moments of happiness! Can't this life paint even one smile on his cure, which gripped them forever ... But (Farida) was the one who gave him that opportunity ... She is the one who changed his barren desert into a mellow green orchard ... It is really amazing ... amazing that Smiles and laughter come out from among the tears !!! Wonderful to give you life to those who struggle with slow death !!!! Wonderful for the ray of hope and its light to extend from among the darkness and darkness of despair! Wonderful to extend a helping hand for you to those who need him the most !!!! It is life born from the womb of death !!!! But she (unique) is the one who did all of that and more !!! And now that old woman closes her diaries, as if she is hiding what remains of her dreams and hopes in the treasury of time and keeping the hand of forgetfulness from her !! She moved her pen aside ... with the pen he might be tired and exhausted by suffering !!! Perhaps he was stopped by the intensity of pain or perhaps the bitterness of days exhausted him .. But the nobility and generosity of giving was always filling him with supplies if he was about to run out! What is not fulfilled !!! As long as you are desperate and persistent, oh life ... you are not life, a play that has not yet come down to it, but you are a continuous play, whether we like it or not ..... We have paid the price of the ticket.