Her heart, his soul

A time for joy, and sad memories

3 months later

*Sam*

I stand admiring my new house… well, perhaps ‘house’ is too grand a term at this stage… but it’s coming along beautifully. Tonight marks the topping-out party, as they just put up the last beam yesterday. I returned only an hour ago after being away for nearly six weeks, and the excitement is palpable.

Suddenly, I hear the thunderous gallop of a horse, and moments later, Kate's golden mare soars over the fence. Kate pulls the horse to a sliding stop right in front of me and nearly leaps into my arms. I embrace her, burying my face in her neck and hair, inhaling the familiar scent that I’ve missed so much. “God, I missed you, Kate.”

“I missed you too, Sam, so very, very much,” she replies, kissing both my cheeks before pressing her lips to mine. I happily return the kiss, relief washing over me. It was sheer torture being away from her for so long, and tonight, I’ve decided I’ll ask her father for his blessing at the party. I can’t wait to make her my wife.

Reluctantly, I set her down. “So, what have you been up to while I was away?”

She removes the tack from her mare and turns to face me. “Well, not much. I spent a fair amount of time with my head in the toilet bowl, though.”

“Have you been sick?” I ask, concern flooding my voice. “You didn’t mention anything when we talked.” I called her at least once a day, and through all those conversations, she never once hinted at being unwell. She should have told me… I would have rushed home.

She giggles, taking my hand in hers. “No, you big dummy. I wasn’t sick. I just felt like I couldn’t share this over the phone.” With that, she gently places my hand on her stomach.

*Kate*

It takes just a couple of seconds, but then it feels as if someone flips a switch, and Sam gasps lightly. “Are you saying… are you… I mean, are we… going to have a baby?”

“I know it’s early and not really planned, but yes, Sam, we are… in just about seven months.” I look at him, anxiously awaiting his response, worried he might think it’s too soon.

He simply drops to his knees, placing both hands on my stomach and kissing it gently. Then he looks up at me, tears glistening in his eyes. “Thank you, darling… You have no idea how happy this makes me. I can’t imagine anyone I’d rather have children with. I love you so much… I love you both so much.”

“No, thank you… for reacting to the news in the most perfect way possible. I… we love you too.” I cup his face in my hands and lean down to kiss him.

He rises to his feet, pulling me into his arms. “Now, Miss Kate… no more jumping fences on that horse of yours or any other wild and crazy behavior. You’re carrying some very precious cargo here.”

“I promise, on one condition… you, sir, have to stop smoking. I don’t want smoke near our baby… I hope you understand.” I’ve been a bit nervous about asking him this, but the truth is, I really want him to quit, not only for the baby’s sake but also for his health.

He sighs theatrically, but then a smile breaks across his face. “That’s a deal, baby. In fact…” He pulls out his nearly full pack of cigarettes from his pocket, crushes it in his hand, and tosses it into the trash can. “Done.”

I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him deeply. “Thank you! I’m so incredibly proud of you for doing that… You’re going to be the very best father ever.”

“And you’re going to be the best mother and… wife.” He says softly, looking down at me. “Oh God, babes, that better not be you proposing!”

He chuckles and kisses my nose. “It wasn’t, but I do want you to be my wife. Tonight, I’m going to ask your father for his permission… and before you say anything, I had already planned to do this before you told me about the baby. I’m not asking just because of the pregnancy.”

“I know, Sam. You don’t have to worry.” I tell him, kissing him again. I still can’t believe that just half a year ago, I thought I might never meet the right man. Now, I have a baby on the way and the most amazing man who is about to ask me to marry him. I must be the luckiest woman in the world.

*Sam*

After Kate has left to get ready for the party, I settled onto the steps of my trailer. I can hardly believe I'm actually going to be a father. I can't wait for us to be a real family.

But my mind drifts back, and while this news fills me with happiness, it also touches a nerve that is still raw. It brings back some difficult memories.

Nine months ago:

"I can’t do this anymore... Pamela, it has to stop. It’s not fair to Max either; he truly loves you," I tell her. We have been seeing each other behind Max’s back for five months now, and it is eating away at me. I know Max loves her; he had confided in me about his feelings and even mentioned he was thinking about proposing.

For a brief moment, she looks angry. But then her expression shifts to one of deep sadness, and I convince myself that the anger was my imagination. "Sam, please... You can't do this. I need you. You’re the one I really want."

"Yeah, you keep saying that, Pamela... But nothing ever changes. I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t hurt Max, and I can’t keep living like this, always being the second choice. You have to leave; we’re done," I reply firmly. I try to encourage her to choose several times, but somehow, she always manages to deflect and pull me back into the chaos.

She looks panicked and shakes her head. "No, you can’t break up with me, Sam. You just can’t do that to me."

"And why is that, Pamela? Please, enlighten me. It’s hardly breaking up when I’m not the one you’re dating," I fight to maintain my resolve.

Her eyes fill with tears as she looks at me. "Because I’m pregnant, Sam... You can’t break up with me because I’m pregnant."

"Well, isn’t it Max you should be telling that?" I say, feeling my knees go weak. It is my dream, my greatest wish, to become a father and have a family.

She shakes her head again. "No, Max’s been away for the last eight weeks, you know that. And I’m only four weeks pregnant, so it has to be yours... You can’t leave me when I’m pregnant."

And, once again, I cave. I tell myself she has to end things with Max now that she is having my baby.

Back to the present:

I shake my head, pushing those memories aside. No, this is a time for joy, not for dwelling on the past. I refuse to let Pamela ruin this moment for me.