Love arrived for his funeral

Chapter two: Episode two: The one who broke me again

Episode Two:The One Who Broke Me Again

By the time I met Fred I was tired in a way I couldn’t explain. Not just tired of men, Tired of hoping, Tired of thinking; Maybe this time…

Fred was different. At least, that’s what I told myself.

“You don’t have to try so hard with me,” he said one night.

I looked at him carefully. “I’m not trying.”

He smiled. “Exactly.” That felt… safe. With him, I didn’t feel watched, Didn’t feel controlled, didn't feel ignored. For the first time in a long time I felt balanced. And that scared me because I didn’t trust it but I let it flow.

“Why do you look at me like that?” he asked one day.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re waiting for something to go wrong.”

I hesitated. “Because it always does.”

He reached for my hand. “It won’t. Not with me.”

I wanted to believe him. I really did.

"I promise to treat you right, I will love you so much, just trust me". " I trust..." I suddenly felt a movement in my thigh, before I could end the comment.He placed a kiss on my lips, his hands moved towards my breast and gripping gently on my n*****s I couldn't resist the feeling of wanting more. I gave in, I let my emotions flow, I allowed my body to take charge and not my mind. "How do you want it", The thought of him asking me how I wanted it made me horny, "do with me what ever you want" that was my answer. And like a wild fire he went in hitting the right places, it felt nice, I felt like a real woman for the first time. he gave me so much pleasure, He was perfect in that aspect and I loved him for that.

For the first time I felt I was in the right place, like I finally found love not just love but the perfect creature for me.

"Hi darling," "hope you like the gifts? "

" If you need anything please let me know"

He always cared, and I believed him. yes I did.

But belief had started to feel dangerous. The night everything changed was quiet, Too quiet.

I picked up his phone without thinking, Not because I was suspicious. Just… instinct, And then I saw it. A message from a lady.

“I miss you too.”

My chest tightened so fast it felt like I couldn’t breathe. “Who is that?” I asked, my voice barely steady.

He didn’t even panic. Didn’t even try to hide it.

“Just someone,” he said.

Just someone? “That’s not an answer,” I said.

He sighed. “Why are you making it a big deal?”

I stared at him. Something inside me going cold.

“Are you talking to someone else?”. He paused.

Then shrugged. “It’s not serious.”

Not serious.To who? To him? Or to me? " oh God how much more should I be tested?"

“I can’t do this again,” I said quietly.

“Do what?” he asked.

I didn’t cry, I just stared at him confused, betrayed and wondering how a person who is so caring can also be a cheater.

Because something inside me had changed.

I wasn’t confused anymore, Just tired. Maybe love is not meant for me. After Fred I stopped.

Not because I was healed. But because I finally understood something: Love was not supposed to feel like this, Not like confusion, Not like pressure, Not like waiting, Not like shrinking.

I sat alone that night staring at my phone,

No messages, No expectations, No noise. And for the first time. I didn’t reach for anyone I just sat with myself.Uncomfortable. But honest. And in that silence a question came to me. If love isn’t supposed to feel like this…Then what does it actually feel like? I didn’t have the answer. The light creeping into my room felt unfamiliar. Like it didn’t belong to me. I sat up, my body heavy, my mind still full. And for the first time in a long time

I didn’t feel like facing anything, Not school, Not friends, Not conversations. Nothing, just me.

I picked up my phone again. Scrolled through my contacts. Stopped at my stepmother’s name.

I hesitated.

Going there meant space, Distance, Silence. Everything I thought I wanted. But it also meant stepping away from everything I knew. Maybe that’s what you need. Before I could change my mind I pressed call.

She answered on the third ring.

“Lucy?” her voice carried mild surprise. “Is everything okay?”

I opened my mouth then closed it again.

Because I didn’t know how to explain something I didn’t fully understand myself.

“I… I want to come home for a while,” I stuttered. finally. There was a pause.

“Home?” she repeated.

“Yes.”

Another pause, Longer this time.

“Did something happen?”

I swallowed.

“Yes,” I said quietly.

She didn’t ask more questions. “Alright,” she said. “Come.”

That was all, and somehow that was enough.

I ended the call and sat there for a while Letting the decision settle. This wasn’t running away.

At least, that’s what I told myself. This was… stepping back. Trying to breathe again, Trying to find something I had lost, Maybe myself.

As I packed my bag later that day, I noticed how little I needed.A few clothes, My books, My phone and that was it.

Everything else felt unnecessary. Before leaving, I stood in the middle of my room and looked around.

This place had held so many versions of me.The girl who believed in love, The girl who stayed too long, The girl who kept trying. I didn’t know who I was anymore. But I knew one thing, I couldn’t stay here and keep pretending everything was fine while pain was actually draining me. So I left.

Not because I was strong, but because staying had finally become harder than going. And I didn’t know it then but that decision, that quiet, tired decision was the one that would lead me to him. to who? I didn't know, but he was close.