We are not supposed to be

It was hot and I would like to have some ice coffee right now. The first thing that came up in my mind was that small cafe but I don’t want to meet him coincidentally since it’s near his workplace. “Hey, let us go to Meme Cafe”, said Linda suddenly. She’s really my best friend as she thought the same thing as me. “Oh My God, b…ch you read my mind. But I don’t want to meet him right now. You know who”, I shrugged mindlessly. “Oh,bi…ch. It’s not a big deal. He left you and so what? Why you are the one who need to hide. He supposed to be the one who wagged his tail and beg for forgiveness. He’s cheated on you. Ass…e,” Linda ranted non stop and I couldn’t hear it anymore so I just agreed with her. We went to that cafe and surprise, surprise.. He was there with her. The one who made him changed his mind and the one who he said understand him better and need him more and need to be protected and and and .. I need to stop this rambling thoughts. I will become crazier if this continues.I know I’m crazy but not that lunatic crazy that need psychiatric helps. I’m just crazy and lively woman that accepts myself and my insecurities. I’m a powerful woman who believes in myself and can’t be changed by anyone but why I felt crushed when I saw them together. It’s like I’m in the dilemma as I’m not sure what is appropriate reaction that I should show to them. I’m confused since I want to be the berserker and tear them apart but at the same time I want to be happy for him since he’s my bestie before he became my boyfriend before. I’m not sure why I need to think how to react since usually I don’t really care and always felt confident in whatever I do.