His words should send my heart into ecstasy, in a world where nothing matters except happiness, where there was no ugliness of reality, no fear, and ultimately no resentment.
But it wasn't the occurrence. My heart wasn't in delight, it wasn't in joy, I wasn't feeling what I should feel instead new fear, new dread was slowly wrapping me in its clutches.
At first, I felt nothing, like someone had given me the numbing drugs like I was somewhere else where I couldn't feel a thing. My heart was beating but my mind wasn't working anymore.
Then there was pain, the pain I felt when I lost my babies when my blessings were snatched away from me. My heart clenched painfully, and breathing become hazardous.
Gradually, I calmed myself. Assuring myself, I was again blessed with God's gift. God had d
