I was a monster.
Nobody understood the pain that I had gone through every day for years, how much I had tried to believe that Dad just wanted to use my body for s****l favors and not for … this, how much agony this f*****g brought me.
My chest tightened as I doubled over and held myself tightly. I wanted to love my mates and had been aching for them to open up more to me, so I could trust them not to hurt me, just like Dad had. I wanted to give them all of myself.
But not like this.
“I-I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling like the ultimate crybaby. I wished that I could just be hard, not feel a f*****g thing, continued to live my life without my past constantly haunting me, like it had been.
“It’s okay,” Gaian said, crouching beside me and gently stroking my back.
“No, it’s not,” Thayer
