Of Lilies Time and Remorse

Chapter 13

My semestral break ended well. I can say na napaka memorable ng year na nagdaan. It's true that we should move forward to the disappointments we had as well as the failures we thought we committed and instead make those our lessons for this new year. My new year started well, so I hoped this would be a good sign of a prosperous New Year. Sana lang.

Dahil kababalik lang namin sa school, we were tasked to write all our New Year resolutions. Dahil sa lahat ng mga ito, wala namang natutupad talaga, I wrote what I think is easy and possible to be committed. First is to take a bath everyday even during weekends or non school days. Minimize my time for social media, and to become more open to new possibilities. Lastly I wrote to never be lazy when it comes to making my ideas into stories.

I'm interested in reading, books and literature so I already have a hint of what I really want to be. Gusto kong maging writer. Sounds easy, right?  But I know it isn't. Compared to what my friends or cousins, ako lang ang pinaka mababa ang gusto according to them. I know my parents wants me to become an engineer like them pero hindi ko talaga kaya. I'm sure of it. Hindi ko kaya ang math. They told me to be open minded about learning it, but I closed the possibility of learning and loving math ever since I was born. I haven't told my parents about what I want yet. I heard them talking that I should get the STEM strand but I don't want it. Gusto ko mag HUMSS.

I decided to tell them right after I move up. Ayaw ko munang ma stress sa possibility na hindi ako matuloy sa HUMSS.

Bumaba muna kami nila Kent at Mae para kumain ng snacks sa canteen.

“ Kinarir naman masyado ng mga grade seven ang new year” Mae said being annoyed. True enough dahil halos lahat ng makikita mo ay rebonded ang buhok.

“ Pera naman nila 'yan. Hindi sayo kaya shut up na lang. Kung gusto mo nagparebond ka din sana” Kent said. Which I kind of agree.

Ang kaso lang kahit naman straight na ang buhok ng iba nagpa rebond pa rin sila. Paano 'yun magiging 'New Year, new look?'

Nakipagsiksikan kami sa mga estudyante dahil nagugutom na din kami. Sigurado pa naman kami na nasa room na si Sir Montecalvo. Bumili kami sa paborito naming waffle. No hindi dahil sa masarap kundi dahil sa maganda tingnan.

Pabalik na sana kami sa gym ng nakita namin ang crush ni Mae.

“ Hala, hala. Mae? Sino 'yan?” dahil sa wakas makakabawi na din si Kent kay Mae, he didn't let the opportunity pass. He has nothing against me dahil wala naman akong crush.

Kent was so epal all along kaya napatingin sa amin ang group of friends ni Leo. Mae acted as if she wasn't affected while Kent kept on pointing her and mouthing something to them. While me? I couldn't care more because I was busy munching on my waffle.

The moment we were out of sight from Leo and his gang, Mae punched Kent in the shoulder. Mahina lang naman but Kent being the dramatic queen, acted as if Mae just broke his shoulder blade. I just laughed at him. Perks of not having a crush on the school.

Pagbalik namin sa room, nasa loob na si sir. We immediately went to our seats.

“ Since your school year is coming to an end, you will have your final project in MAPEH. My fellow MAPEH teachers, agreed to conduct a cheerleading contest per section. All of you will represent one group. Starting now, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday you'll be given the time to practice. Assign your leader, your choreographer, and everything needed for the cheer leading. This will be presented in the gym on the second week of March, right after the final exams. This will be a big part for your grades.” mahabang pag e-explain ni sir before storming out of the room, to give us time for a meeting.

Diane our president immediately went in front. She's automatically our leader.

“ Guys, since we have dancers in here, Lucy and Leni will be our choreographers. Let's just talk about our theme first.”

My classmates suggested some ideas.

“ Mobile legends”

“ Harry Potter”

“ Star Wars”

“ High school musical”

“ How about w*****d?” everyone looked at Laurie whom suggested w*****d.

“ Paano naman 'yan? Ire-remix ang  'baby let's talk?'” pambabara ni Xylo. Minsan na nga lang magsalita si Laurie nababara pa.

“ I was thinking the same for dreame too” Jaya said.

So the silent readers suggested their favorite apps.

But that would be hard,  and I don't think it's appropriate for cheer leading.

“ Mahirap 'yan. Hindi ko alam kung maganda ang kalalabasan” Leni said. I agree with her.

“ I just thought maybe we could pull it off. I was just suggesting anyway.” Laurie shrugged.

After a really long discussion which took an hour, we decided to make the theme easy. We settled for the western cheer leading. We'll just look into the different cheer leading styles from western schools. It was agreed to make our school our inspo too. Like it was the one we're cheering for. Tulad ng may game. We agreed to use some country music and more on the accompaniments.

Isa na 'to sa assignments ko mamaya. Kailangan ko ng mag search ng inspo para makapagsimula na kami sa Wednesday. Same with Leni I guess. We'll just update each other dahil syempre dalawa kaming assigned.

We were bombarded with lessons. Una dahil malapit na kami matapos, pangalawa, marami pang activities kaming mga grade 10 kagaya ng prom at pagpra-practice para sa moving up ceremony  at pangatlo, sobrang dami pa ng kailangan na ipasang mga requirements at projects.

May cheer leading, may research paper pa sa dalawang subjects not to mention ang sobrang hirap na pinapaggawa sa Math gaya ng mga polygons. Nahihirapan ako kasi syempre hindi ako marunong sa arts. Nalilito pa ako kung paano gagawin ang 20 sides na sinasabi nila at maglalaro pa ako ng damath gamit ang board na ginawa namin. 10 games pa naman 'yun. May isang movie pa kami na ipapasa at isang theater play.

Iniisip ko pa lang kung anong uunahin ko, sumasakit na ang ulo ko.

I calmed myself and heaved a deep breath.

One at a time.

Bumaba na ako at pumunta sa canteen. The three of us agreed to have lunch sa canteen namin dahil sobrang dami ng gagawin talaga. I understand them naman dahil dama ko din ang frustration na nararamdaman nila. Lahat kami ay nalilito na sa kung anong uunahin.

I waited for J2 and J3.

After a few minutes, dumating na din si J2.

“ Ang tagal talaga naming matapos.Overtime na kaya.” she said while slumping herself into the seat. She just keep on blabbering about her TLE teacher na overtime lage.

“ Gutom na gutom na nga kami. Naririnig ko nga ang tunog ng tiyan ko.” I just let her rant. Patingin-tingin ako sa entrance dahil baka dumating na si J3.

After a few minutes of waiting, dumating na si J3 na may dalang malaking box.

“ Finally! Gutom na talaga ako. Buti naman dumating ka pa. ” J2 said.

J3 just rolled her eyes at her and put the box on the floor.

“ Ano 'yun?” I asked.

“ Polygons.”

“ Natapos mo na?” I asked with an amazed voice. She just nod her head.

Wow. Talking about a responsible student.

“ Paano mo 'yun pinagdidikit? Paano naman ang 20 sides na 'yun?” I asked. Fail kasi lage yung mga nauna kong ginawa. Inuna ko na lang ang apat na cube, at yung triangle. Hindi ko muna ginawa ang iba.

“ Double sided tape saves my day” she said while taking her lunch box from her bag.

The fact that J3 finished her math requirements already kind of irks me. Parehos kami ng math teacher dahil adviser ko ang teacher nila sa math. And here I am wala pa ngang nagagawa sa mga mahihirap na polygons. J2 is okay, kasi iba naman ang projects or requirements na binigay ng teacher niya.

We started eating. Bumili muna si J2 ng ulam niya, pero pinauna naman na niya kami. Nakabili naman siya kaagad dahil konti na lang ang students. 15 minutes past 12 na kasi at kanina pang 11:45 nagsimula ang lunch break namin.

“ Bakit wala si Sixto?” tanong ni J2 habang nginunguya ang manok niya.

“ He might be busy na din. He's graduating na kaya so probably they're in the coop canteen.” I said. Mas malapit kasi ang coop canteen sa senior high building habang nasa Pepsi canteen kami ngayon.

We ate in silence. Ramdam ko naman na nagmamadali ang lahat. We have so much in our plates right now. Kailangan ko pang icheck ang draft ng research paper namin. Next next week na kasi ang deadline for the final tapos mag o-oral defense pa kami.

I need to check my group mates if they did their parts well. It was actually spoon fed to them. Magka group kami ni Mae and Zel kaya I'm quite confident. We just gave the other members the topic that they needs to search. Not to mention for their sources too. Doon kami nahihirapan talaga.

We bid our goodbyes to each other pagkatapos naming kumain. Bago bumalik sa room, dumaan muna ako sa cr to do my things. Umakyat na ako sa room namin. I immediately went to Mae and Zel to ask them tungkol sa research paper namin.

We gathered our group to check our works. I binded it with a paper pin. Kinakabahan kami actually. Baka kasi may mali na naman. Paulit-ulit kasi na may mali na naman dahil nakaligtaan. Sana tama na para maprint na namin for the final output at malagay na sa folder. Para na din makapag prepare na kami for the oral defense at ng makapagsimula na ako sa ibang requirements.

The bell rang and we went to our respective TLE classes. Nasa next room lang naman ako kaya okay lang. Adviser naman ni J3 ang teacher ko dito. Ang layo talaga mg pagiging writer sa pagiging masseuse. Pero bahala na na a-apply ko naman kay mama at papa kapag masakit ang ulo nila of katawan. Nagkakapera din ako dahil nagpa massage yung mga relatives ko minsan.

My TLE classmates asked me kung tapos na ba ako sa mga notes. Ang requirement kasi namin for the subject ay buong libro na sinulat namin sa notebook. I told them I haven't finish it. I told them that I'll do it after my hands-on.

Nagpra-practice kami ngayon sa techniques dahil kailangan na kasi na mabuti na ang gagawin namin for the graded massage. May ininvite pa naman na professional wellness massage masseuse ang teacher namin from a well known spa.

We were grouped din at we will be conducting our final interview this Sunday sa isang spa. Isa sa projects for this subject.

I went to my partner to practice more on the pressure points. We memorized the points kung saan dapat lagyan ng pressure sa kung ano mang nararamdaman mo. For example for headache. Ang kailangan mong imassage ay ang taiyang at yintang mo.

After an hour,  we were dismissed. I put alcohol first dahil sobrang greasy ng kamay ko from the essential oil. My partner put her sock back. We demonstrated the Foot massage kasi.

Now it's time for our science subject. Good thing chemistry was our last branch for science. Hindi naman masyadong hassle ang chemistry compared sa iba dahil wala namang masyadong projects na maipapasa sa chemistry except for the periodic table na kami mismo ang pinagawa. Kung geology pa ngayon, baka sumabay na sa stress namin ang pinapagawang volcano.

I listened intently to our teacher's discussion. You shouldn't miss one single word in chemistry kasi baka ma left out ka kung paano iconvert ang Celsius. After his discussion he gave us a short quiz. Three items word problem.

Matapos mag bell ay naglinis muna ang mga assigned cleaners for today. Dumaan muna kami sa Canteen para bumili ng candy.

Our English teacher was already inside our room. This is it. Sana lang talaga okay na ang draft namin. After our prayers she then asked the first group for their draft. The leader Diane handed their draft to her. We saw how her eyes squinted, her forehead creased and how she tilted her head while flipping the pages and scanning it again.

“ I told you to change your font. You didn't.” she stated to Diane.

“ Why is this still here? I told you last time to remove this.” she continued.

She gave it to Diane.

“ Tsk. We'll just keep on repeating this. Pay attention to what I'm telling you. Next”

Diane went back to her seat with a droopy body. It must be hard for her, to be honest alam naman namin na siya lang ang gumawa. Her groupmates were just having fun all along. Dumbbells.

Jamaica's group only needs do have a few revising and they're okay. They're quite happy with the result. Sino bang hindi? They're close to being done.

“ Next ”

I got up from my seat and gave our draft to her. I held my breath and crossed my fingers at the back as she skimmed and flipped the pages. I was so nervous everytime her red ballpen moves or point to something. Baka may ipabago na naman siya. I didn't know I was biting my lower lip until she handed it back to me.

I blinked. I couldn't believe it.

“ Okay. Pass the final outputs next next week. Get ready for your defense. Study your research. ”

I smiled and said my thanks. I puff out some air. I went to my groupmates and we all felt relieved.

One more subject until I go home and relax...

The bell finally rang and it's time for us to clean the classroom. I was wiping the window pane when Diane went in front and made an announcement.

“ Guys, we still gave to pass our movie. Kailangan na nating imanage ang time natin. Since MWF ang practice sa cheerdance, let's just stick to that first. Unahin na muna natin ang movie kaya groupmates ko, let's shoot every Saturday morning. Tapos tuwing hapon, mag practice tayo sa theater play. Total una namang ipeperform ang dalawa kesa sa cheerdance na sa march pa. Sa Sunday, we can focus on our individual projects.” mahabang litanya niya.

Sad to say, I can't give my full Sunday for our individual projects dahil may interview pa kami sa TLE.

I sighed. There's so much work to do. Nang matapos kami sa paglinis, we locked the door and went down the building. Almost 6 na din pala.

I went down with Mae, Kent and Janna. Nasa may gate na kami at nagpaalam na kami kay Mae.

“ Nasaan yung senior high mo?” tanong ni Kent sa akin. He must be pertaining to Sixto but he's not mine.

“ Diba hinihintay ka lage non?” Janna said while looking around. I just shrugged. Hindi niya naman ako responsibidad. Still, it feels so different without Sixto during school days six o'clock.

“Sama na lang ako sa inyo”

They crossed the street and I walked behind them. It just feels different without someone to hold on while crossing the street. Nasanay lang siguro ako. I shrugged the feeling off. This is what's normal.

We walked past the students having their practices. We walked past the pretty shining capitol trees, we walked past by the vendor, and we walked past by Janna's crush Pablo. Kent kept on teasing her, and if I wasn't  indifferent today, I might tease her too. But I am. I am feeling different today. My mind wondered where Sixto might have been, and why he didn't wait for me.

I stopped from walking. I looked at Twist. The ice cream parlor. And there I saw him smiling. Showing off his dimples and his perfect set of pearl white teeth and his eyes almost lost to that Hyacinth girl. I continued walking.

This is new year.