Of Lilies Time and Remorse

Chapter 8

Naabutan ko si papa sa sala. I was about to greet him when I noticed that he's in a phone conversation.

“ Oo ako na lang ang pupunta. Sige. Bye.”

Nagulat pa siya paglingon niya ng makita ako.

“ Kanina ka pa Lucy? ”

“ I just got home pa” I went to him and kissed his cheek.

“ Si mama?”

“ Umalis kanina. Mukhang nagkakaroon ng catching up sa mga kaibigan niya. ”

Nagpaalam ako at pumunta sa kwarto. Finally I'm in my cozy bed. Wala na kaming pasok simula bukas.

I tried to recall kung ano ang mga assignments na kailangan ipasa next next week. May worksheets sa Math,  ArPan at Filipino. May letter pa pala akong dapat maibigay kay Sixto at ng makapag-reply na siya.

Next week na kasi babasahin sa class. And yeah, si Sixto ang bibigyan ko. Iniisip ko pa lang gusto ko na lang maglaho. I actually considered cheating...

Well I know it won't work. Kailangan kasi sa likod niya isulat ang reply with his signature and the date he received my letter. Besides, hindi naman ako professional cheater. I wouldn't dare to risk my values...

I actually weighed all choices. I knew I couldn't choose between J2 and J3. Nagkikita lang din kami ni Gwendi tuwing may occasion or during holidays.

I'm awkward with my parents too.

Sixto's the only choice left.

Inaasar nga ako ng mga classmates ko. Kasi naman, nag deadline na kaya we read our letters one by one in front. Me giving Sixto a letter is quite a big deal for them. And we'll be reading it again, pagbalik namin with our receivers replies.

My letter wasn't even long. Nag thank you lang ako. Bahala na nga. I must muster all the courage I have.

Bumaba ako para mag dinner.

“ Halika na Lucy”

I sat at the chair beside her. My place in the dining. Tatlo lang naman kasi ang upuan sa table na ginagamit namin lagi.

“ Si papa? ”

“ Umalis, may pinuntahan muna”

We ate in silence. Nang matapos kami, I offered to wash the dishes. Bumalik ako sa kwarto and immediately slumped myself in my bed.

I didn't know I was really tired. Nananakit din ang muscles ko. Tinodo naman kasi namin ang pag apply ng floor wax at pag polish gamut ang husk kanina sa room and yet,  I found myself smiling.

The scene earlier was just enchanting. I dozed off with the thought the aesthetic scenario of indigo with specks of orange sky, city lights, happy people,  and Sixto.

I knew it was a memory destined to be a dream.

Napairap ako. Sunod-sunod naman kasi ang messages sa gc. Nanunuod ako ng video sa YouTube. Unsolved mysteries to be exact.

I can't concentrate dahil sa annoying na messages. Nag-uusap lang naman sila kung kailan gagala. First day of peace ngayon.

My classmates settled for the fifth day. Whatever. Right now, I just felt so relaxed. No school, no stress. The beginning of my rest week.

Napatingin ako sa wall clock. 11:23 am na. Naligo na lang ako at pagkatapos ay bumalik sa panunuod. The messages wouldn't bother me anymore. I've done something magical.

I heard my phone ring. It was J2 calling.

“ Yes? ”

“ Lucy, magkita na lang tayo sa entrance mamayang 6 pm. Sabay kayo ni Sixto”

“ What are you-” she hung up.

Kakasabi ko pa lang na rest day ko ngayon. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out where we're going. I sighed.

Maghapon na lang akong nag cellphone. In my defense,  I already helped my mom with the chores.

Five na ng hapon so I got up and decided to get ready. Kahit na ayaw ko...

I settled with my white skull shirt paired with black shorts. So what kung paulit-ulit?  Favorite ko ang shirt na 'to and I'm comfortable wearing this. Besides it shows how excited I am diba?

I wore my black watch and for my shoes, I settled for my black converse high cut. Hinayaan ko na lang ang buhok ko. I didn't bother it with a tie.

I whisked some perfume, applied my regular powder on my face and lastly my favorite lip balm. Strawberry.

I grabbed my phone and put it in my pocket. Inipit ko lang din ang buong 200 pesos sa phone case. Wala naman akong bibilhin do'n.

I grabbed some coins and put it in my other pocket. Nilagay ko lang din ang panyo ko sa back pocket ng shorts ko. I didn't bother myself with a wallet or purse,  baka makalimutan ko lang.

Paglabas ko ng bahay, I saw Sixto.

“ Wow you looked...

I stared at him.

...overdressed” 

Of course I was just exaggerating. He's wearing a plain black shirt, ripped denim jeans, topped with a denim jacket. May accessories din siyang suot other than his watch. A silver necklace and two rings.

Hindi naman siya exaggerated talaga. May iba pa ngang boys na magfi-feeling K-pop star mamaya. Wala namang problema ang kaso hindi naman bagay sa kanila. Meron ding akalain mong nasa beach with their colorful Hawaiian shirts.

“ Hoy we're watching a rock band mamaya. Problema mo sa suot ko? I just want to be a rockstar... for a night.”

I rolled my eyes at him. Well,  he do looks like a rockstar. Badass. Cool. Kinarir naman kasi niya. He even styled his hair upward.

Ang unfair lang. Last time kasi nagcostume siya bilang pulubi sa school play noon. And he still looked good. How could someone possibly look good with anything even rags? 

I didn't bother dressing up 'cause I'll just look like a depressed potato kompara sa mga kasama ko.

“Still exag” I insisted.

“ And you...

He pointed at me.

You look plain”

I rolled my eyes,  as he smirked.

It wouldn't be normal if we won't be trading barbs each time we meet.

We saw J2 and J3 by the entrance.

J2 was wearing an off-the-shoulder yellow top paired with a denim skirt.

J3 on the other hand was wearing a plain black tube, a mom jeans with a stylish belt.

You can tell it from here na ako ang pinaka fashionless. Ordinary. Plain Jane.

I looked around. Tama nga ako na may magha-hawaiian shirts or polo ngayon. Wala namang problema. Ako lang talaga.

“ Ang tagal naman. ” pagrereklamo ni J3.

“ Hindi naman kami late.” I said

“Napaaga lang kami. ” J2 answered.

Madalas sabihin na Filipino time talaga tayo, but not for us. Pumupunta kami on time. I don't know but it has been an unsaid agreement for us.

“ Wait,  hintayin muna natin si Gwen”

Except kay Gwen. Nale-late siya minsan pero hindi naman umaabot sa point na isang oras kaming maghihintay. Ilang sandali pa ay nakita na namin siya.

She's wearing a  white short dress with cherries printed on it. A sling bag and a white sneakers. May dala din siyang DSLR. She stopped midway and took a picture of us.

“ Sorry, na traffic lang”

“ So everybody's here so let's go na! ”

J2's always excited. Her excitement somehow made everyone excited though. Fine. Even me.

Pumasok kami sa mga booths, bumili ng mga pagkain at souvenirs. Gwendi undoubtedly took a lot of photos.

Nililibre ako ni Gwen sa mga souvenirs at ni Sixto naman sa mga pagkain. Ako na naman ang magbabayad sa pamasahe namin.

Gwen asked politely to a random stranger if he could take a picture of us. Pumayag naman ito. We took several photos. Dinalian lang namin dahil nakakahiya naman kay kuya.

Nagutom kami sa paglalakad kaya kumain muna kami sa isang stall na may tindang mga inihaw.

May dala-dalang malilit na bags ang girls maliban sa akin kaya may dala silang sanitary things. Tama nga ang desisyon kong 'wag lang magdala.

Naglakad na lang kami ulit pagkatapos kumain. Bandang 9 pm ay pumunta na kami malapit sa stage. Malapit na kasing magsimula ang live band.

After 30 minutes ay naririnig na namin ang sigawan ng mga tao. Nakiki-jam ang lahat. Everyone sang along or rather shouted the lyrics.

The people were hyped! When the band started playing their famous 'love song' the crowd went calm. Napapapikit na lang ang mga tao at ninamnam ang lyrics.

Couples were hugging and some were just smiling at each other. I glanced at Gwen and she was smiling while checking the photo she took.

J2 on the hand closed her eyes and smiled. She's probably imagining ausic video of her own. Crazy. J3 was just smiling while singing along with the band.

And lastly, I looked at the person beside me. He was smiling, nodding his head  and was looking straight at the band.

He turned his eyes on me. He probably felt I was staring or he might saw me staring at him thorough his peripheral vision. I looked away immediately as if staring at him was a crime.

Nasa chorus na at mataas na naman ang energy ng mga tao. Nagtatalon-talon sila kaya natutulak kami. Masikip na nga dito, nagtatalon-talon pa sila. I was pushed towards Sixto.

I locked my eyes to Sixto. Nababangga na naman kami at natutulak but I didn't care. I just continued staring at him. And so was he...

One guy suddenly pushed Sixto causing him to be much more closer to me. We were just staring at each other like our lives depended on it or as if it's a contest and whoever wins gets to have the million dollar check.

He smiled at me. I felt my heart skipped a beat. What was that?  I bit my lower lip. Lately I've been feeling crazy things towards Sixto. I don't know it this is a bad thing...

But I'm not dumb enough. All these crazy things, could just lead to one thing. Could it be because I'm falling for him?  But it can't be! I'm still young...

I'm too young to say that I'm in love...

Love at this age is unacceptable.

And so I didn't smile back...

Few more songs at natapos na ang performance ng band. Nagring ang cell phone ni Sixto kaya napatingin kami sa kaniya. He answered the call.

“ Hello ma? ” he turned the speaker on. Mukhang hindi niya masyadong narinig.

“ Ha? Opo. Uuwi na po. Bye ma.”

“ Wow astig ng get-up takot naman pala sa mama” J2 didn't let the chance of insulting Sixto pass.

“ Siyempre mama ko 'yon”

Dahil pinapauwi na si Sixto, umuwi na rin kami. Pinilit niya pa sila Gwen na umuwi na rin.

“ Una na kayo. Kayo naman ang magkapitbahay eh. ”

“ Don't be hard headed nga. Uwi na kasi.”

J3 rolled her eyes.

“ Don't act as if you're really concerned. Isa-

Dalawa, tatlo sinong mananalo.” Sixto interrupted J3.

J3 and I facepalmed when J2 and Gwen continued the 'song'

“ apat, lima, anim i-vicks na nga natin”

Because of Sixto's 'concern' umuwi na rin sila.

Pagkatapos kong mag half bath at magbihis ay nahiga kaagad ako sa kama. I logged in on my sss account. I saw Gwen posted pictures of us. Naka tag pa kami.

' This night is amazing. May pinauwi nga lang ng mama'  with a smirk and a laughing emoji.

I reacted 'haha'

Tiningnan ko ang mga pictures. May kaming lahat, kaming dalawa ni Gwen, the PPG, PPG with Gwen, and PPG with Sixto and several more solo photos of us. I was in the last photo at hinihintay na mag load ito.

I blinked. It was a photo of me and Sixto during the live band.

The people were focused on the band, and Sixto was focused on me while smiling while I was being serious while staring at him. I didn't react until I saw a comment where I was mentioned.

Yieee Lucy Ybañez Sixto Claudius tamang titigan lang ah

I replied to J2's comment.

Lucy Ybañez

Amalthea Kho LOL.

I bit my lip when Sixto commented.

Sixto Claudius

ay hahaha nagjoke kasi siya kaya nagsmile ako.

J2 reacted 'haha'on his comment. J3 commented too.

Suzanna Real

wow buti narinig mo.

Sixto Claudius

Yun nga eh. Di ko narinig kaya tumawa lang ako.

I just 'liked' his comment.

Gwendi Ybañez

Hmmmmm.

I rolled my eyes. Kung ano-ano na rin kasi ang pinag-uusapan nila.

Lucy Ybañez

Gawin niyo na lang kaya tong gc. Don't be shy

Umabot na kasi ang comments sa 100+

They reacted 'haha' on my comment.

I opened my i********: account.

J2 posted a photo of us five. J3 posted a photo of the crowd from the concert Gwen changed her display photo to a photo of her taken by J2. I double tapped.

Sixto posted a photo of us...? Nakatalikod kami and I can't be mistaken. I was the one beside him. Nakatalikod kami sa Cam and I was pointing at something.

Nakatingin siya sa kung ano mang tinuturo ko with his hands on his pockets. I read his caption.

' Kita mo yun? Poste yun'

I rolled my eyes. Wala akong sinabing ganon! Mukha naman akong tanga kung meron man.

suzanna: the photo looks good. I love how the artificial light bring brightness to your lives.

peter'sgwendi: hoy may utang ka

sixto63: @suzanna oo. Sana may magbigay din ng liwanag sa madilim mong buhay.

sixto63: @peter'sgwendi may utang ka din uy

theaaa: wala man lang comment? Anong special sa poste po @lucyme?

lucyme: @theaaa ikaw poste ka.

Inaantok na ako. I looked at my phone. Midnight na pala. I closed my eyes when I heard a message suddenly pop.

I lazily looked at it.

theaaa: @lucyme poste ka rin.

I could've replied and burned her but I was too sleepy to do so. I reminded myself to piss Thea first thing in the morning.