Let go the Past ✔

FINALLY LETTING GO

TWO YEARS LATER

-LIZA-

I looked down when I felt someone tugging my shirt.

I creased my brows and felt my heart skip a bit, this kid looks familiar.

"Err yes?" I asked with confusion.

"Miss? Can you help me get that?" She cutely asked pointing to a tab of milk flavored ice cream.

I smiled at her then nod.

I kneeled with my one knee to be at her level, I guess she's at least 4 - 5 years of age.

"Here you go." I told her and I stiffened when she kissed my cheek. I swear she reminded me of someone. I just can't point out who until the moment she smiled with her gummy. She reminded me of Jane.

"Thank you pretty miss." She stated and about to leave me when I stop her.

I don't want to assume, maybe I'm just missing Jane and Laila, well, I always missed them but my gut feeling telling me differently.

She tilt her head cutely, maybe wondering why I stop her.

"Ahm ah? Who's with you baby?" I asked.

That question immediately made the kid's face lit up.

"My mom, you should meet her, she's pretty too." The kid confidently answered and that made me chuckled.

Yeah, I guess I should. I mumbled to myself.

We're interrupted when someone speak from my behind.

I stiffened.

"Laila baby? Oh! Thank God, you're here. You made me nervous. Don't do that again." The familiar voice stated.

The kid gently pulled her wrist from my hand and run towards the person.

"I-I'm sorry Mommy, I looked for your favorite ice cream. Pretty miss helped me get it since I can't reach." She adorably explained.

"Oh. Ahm? Thank you Ms..?"

I'm still not facing them so maybe she didn't recognize me. I took a deep breath. Its been two years Jane, still my heart beat, beats the same.

I slowly turned to face her and I heard her gasped.

"L-Liz?"

"Ja..."

I no longer able finish what I'm about to say cause she rushed to hug me.

She's crying.

I should be mad, right? She left without saying goodbye but why I can't?

Instead I responded to her hug. I hug her much tighter, afraid that if I'll let go she'll run away once again.

We don't know how long we're hugging each other until Laila broke the silence.

"Mom who is she?" Laila inquired innocently and that's the only moment Jane pulled away from me. She brushed her tears that keep pouring, I tried to help her. She chuckled cause I'm crying as well so she did the same with me.

We're like idiots while wiping each others tears, sniffing and chuckling.

"She's your Mama Liza. Remember? I always showed you her picture." Jane answered Laila afterwards.

I looked at Laila's direction and just like her expression when she talked about her mommy a while ago, her face also lit up and rushed to hug me. My hands still wiping Jane's tears so I'm not able to react immediately when she run towards me. She's hug my legs, that's the only portion she can reached.

I removed my hands away from Jane's face and kneeled to level Laila's height once again. That's why she's familiar, she's my little Laila.

"Hi." I greeted.

She shyly smiled then wrapped her little hands around my neck.

"M-Mama Liza! I missed you!"

I don't know why but my heart is full the moment I heard her call me that. This is the first time cause the last time I saw this ball of sunshine she can't even utter a word.

"I missed you too so much baby, you and your Mom." I responded looking to Jane's face.

I don't know if I'm just imagining it but I think Jane blushed? Well maybe its just imagination.

The moment Tim told me Jane left him, I did my best to look after them but I failed. She didn't left any clue about where will they go. For the first few months of Jane and Laila being gone, I used to contact Tim, asking him if Jane reached out but he always said that no. I stop myself reaching out when I saw Tim with other girl. I'm mad, why instead of looking for his family he's doing the opposite? So I look for them on my own, but I failed. I'm about to loss hope until today. Who would've thought that they're just here somewhere. I'm i***t not looking here at our own hometown.

I was brought back to reality when I felt small fingers pinching my cheeks.

"You're so cute Mama." Laila said adorably and that made me chuckled.

"Well, you're cute as well baby, you got that from me." I joked and wiggle my brows to the kid and she giggled cutely.

I scooped her to carry.

She's heavier now.

"Liza what are you doing? Put Laila down. She's heavier than the last time. Besides she can walk now." Jane stated but I just flicked her forehead.

She winced in pain.

Laila giggled. It's bad to show violence in front of a kid so I immediately kissed Jane's forehead to covered what I did. She froze.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled after pulling away. "Though we need a serious talk Mrs. Hale." I told her with flat tone. She stiffened. Who wouldn't? I rarely used that tone to her.

"It's Ms." she almost whispered.

"Huh?" I asked in confusion.

"I ah, I'm now single Liz, err, ah, Tim and I got divorced almost a month ago already." She shyly answered.

"Oh..."

"Shut it." She whispered so Laila won't hear it.

"I'm not even saying anything?" I countered and she playfully rolled her eyes.

Well, THAT is the Jane I know. Still feisty, the way I like it.

"Let's go to our place? I bought a small house near this area. That's where Laila and I living for almost a year now." She informed. "Ahm, w-we can do the talking there." She even added as if just merely inviting me is not already enough for me to agree.

Of course I will agree, I'm dying to talk to her.

"Okay. Where's your cart? Let me hold that for you baby." I get the tab of ice cream from Laila's hands. Aww this kid is really respectful. She didn't even bother interrupting me and her mom while talking.

Jane pointed the direction and I just followed her with Laila still on my right arm and my left holding the ice cream, maybe melted ice cream by now.

I smiled.

"Small huh?" I teased her and she pouted ignoring me.

I put down Laila on their couch. I tiredly flop myself on it after.

Jennie chuckled.

"I told you, Laila's heavier now." She stated.

I looked at Laila at my side who's curiously looking at me too.

I gave her a smile.

"I don't mind, I'll still carry my baby whenever I want to. Is it okay, little peanut?" I used the endearment I always used before when Laila is still a baby. I even ruffled her hair.

She eagerly nodded.

"Yes, Mama. I want that too." Laila answered. "But I hope you will not call me little peanut again." She added pouting and that made me and Jane burst out laughing.

"Why? I used to call you that and you're still little." I countered.

"B-But that's embarrassing." She stated honestly.

I act as if I'm hurt and this ball of sunshine scoot over to hug me.

"Okay, you can call me that. Just don't be sad Mama."

I froze and look at Jane.

She gave me a proud smile.

"She got that from you." She mouthed.

I don't know why but it made me teary eyed.

"You're crying? I'm sorry Mama." Laila panicky stated.

I shook my head as if telling her it's not her fault.

"I'm crying cause I'm happy princess. Don't worry I'll just call you little peanut every time we're alone with your mommy but if there are people around, I'll call you princess. Is that a deal?" I inquired and she happily nodded.

"Deal." She even kissed my cheek. She turn to Jane afterwards. "Mommy? Can I go to Kuku?" She asked Jane.

I creased my brows.

"It’s our dog Liz." She answered, I nodded in understanding. "Go baby, I'll cook dinner too. I'll wash you after okay?" Jane responded and our little girl nodded.

She kissed us both on our cheeks before happily strode away from their living room.

"So?" I raises my brow to Jane.

She guiltily look at me.

"Liz..."

I stop her.

"Come on? Give me my hug first, Jane." I interrupted her and just like before she rushed to hug me.

"I'm so sorry for not bidding you a goodbye, Liz. I just, ah..."

I pulled away so I can cup her face.

"You did the right thing, Janey. Just one question though?" I inquired.

She creased her brows but nodded eventually.

"Are you happy?"

"Very." She answered enthusiastically.

I know she's telling the truth cause Jane's glow is way different now from the glow I used to see before.

I kissed her forehead.

"Then there's no need for explanation, I know you did what you need to do."

"B-But..."

"Yah! I said it's okay." I complained and she smack my shoulder.

"Ouch! What was that for?" I questioned rubbing my shoulder.

"Can you let me finish, Liza?"

I pouted.

"Fine. What is it?"

"Thank you so much." Jane sincerely stated while looking at my eyes directly.

I gulped then cleared my throat.

"I ah, ahm, f-for what?" I inquired.

"For everything Liz."

"But I..."

She flicked my forehead.

"Ouch!" I complained rubbing the affected part and just like what I did to her earlier she kissed my forehead.

"I missed you too, Liz." She said afterwards.

"I have a bad feeling for this."

"Huh? What do you mean?" She inquired.

"The last time we talked like this I woke up without you at my side Jane." I reminded her and she chuckled.

-JANE-

"Well, it's different now. Cause you're basically inside my own house. There's nowhere to go, really." I assured.

"Good." She said with relief. "Now, hug me more." She added.

I shook my head first before obliging.

Just like before, the feeling of being inside Liza's embrace never gets old. It always felt home.

***

-LIZA-

I still can't believe Jane's inside my arms once again.

"I'm now an author, Liz." Jane broke the silence afterwards. "T-That's also the reason how Laila and I survived."

I sniffed and hugged her tighter. I don't know what to say. That's Jane's dream ever since. I always encouraged her to pursue her writing but she didn't and now hearing her say she did it. I'm beyond happy.

"Hey? Are you crying?" She pulled away.

"I'm just happy Jane, you don't know how happy I am hearing that. This is what I want for you and seeing you finally doing what you love. I'm beyond happy. Though you did it without me at your side. Well that's the only the part where it sucks but everything? It's great." I joked.

"Silly, you're the very reason of it." She countered that made me confuse. "You enlightened me Liz, you made me believe that I can still be someone I want to be. That it's not too late." Jane explained while wiping my tears. She's looking at me fondly. "I know at the end of the day you'll always be at my side, and I'm used to that. I'm more used of your presence than the father of my child and it scared me. So I need to leave to fix myself on my own. To find myself. I lost myself along the process of wanting to give Laila the ideal family that I don't have. You told me that you failed big time in making me feel that I'm not alone but you're wrong Liza, your mere presence made me complete, what's funny? Despite going home before in a broken family I'm still looking forward to it cause I know somewhat I will go home with you, my Liz. But I'm blinded back then, all I think of is to blame my parents, blame everyone, thinking that the universe is against me, I look at life in a literal perspective. I failed to see the real meaning of complete, I failed to see that you completes me. I chose to get hurt. I chose to hurt you. I'm really sorry, I really do. I'm not sure why until now you're not angry at me but I'm thankful. I really am." She teary eyed explained.

I don't know what to say. This is the first time Jane pours her heart out.

She really changed.

I also wipe her tears. We're already a crying mess.

"You know why Jane." I almost whispered looking at her intently. I love her so much. I really do.

She leaned her forehead to me. Her eyes closed.

"I know and I feel like i don’t deserve it." She answered.

I'm about to complain but she interrupted me.

"I know it sounded selfish, but Liza I don't think I can handle seeing you with someone else."

I bit the inside of my cheek to avoid myself from smiling. Is she hinting something?

"So Ms., huh?" I teased to finally lighten the mood.

She nodded smiling then buried her face on the crook of my neck. Sniffing me that brought chills all over my body. A good kind.

"Maybe just for now." She mumbled, giving me a look and meaningful smile.

We chuckled. Maybe letting go our past and appreciating the present will help us make our future better and brighter and that's what we, Jane and I, learned in this rollercoaster life.

-END-