Starting Over.

#15 Having a talk or not.

Malia’s POV. 

“Who the f**k do you think you are, Damon? You are not my boyfriend.. you have no right judging me..” I said between clench teeth. How f*****g dare he. I went around him, done with this conversation. 

As I reached the door my wrist was grabbed, and I was pulled back, crashing into a hard chest. Damon was quick to pull me close and hold me tight against him. For a moment it just felt good, but I quickly snapped out of it, and tried to push him off. 

“Malia I’m sorry ok?” He sounded broken somehow. “I don’t know what happened.” He added.. I sighed, didn’t say anything.. to be honest I didn’t know what to say. He put is finger under my chin making me look into his eyes. 

“Can I please come up?” He asked.. “just to talk.” He quickly clarified, I nodded softly.. I really don’t wanna talk about this on the street.. our eyes were locked for a second before he slowly let go of his tight embrace letting me open the door.. 

The way up to my apartment was silent. I was wondering if maybe it wasn’t a good idea having this conversation when both so us have been drinking, well one of us was clearly more drunk than the other.. 

we got in my apartment still silence between us, I kicked off my shoes and took of my jacket going to slump down on the couch, somehow I was exhausted right now. Damon followed not long after me. 

After a couple of minutes the silence was killing me! The tension in the room was so thick you would need a knife to cut through it.. I couldn’t stand it anymore..

“Damon, maybe we should just stop whatever this is.. it’s shouldn’t be this hard.” I sighed and looked up at him seeing him looking at me wide eyed. 

“No! No, no Malia, that’s not what I want at all.” He answered taking in a big breath before he continued. “I’m sorry for being an ass, I was out of line.. I had no right bringing up your past.. God Malia I’m so, so sorry.. I’ve been beating myself up about it ever since I walked out of here earlier..” he added.

“But what do you want, Damon? I don’t understand why you acted like you did earlier.. one minute we were fine and having fun, and the next you were acting like a jealous jackass and just walked out..” I said, Damon moved closer to me on the couch.

“I know.. I can admit that I was jealous. I was jealous that you were going out with somebody else, looking sexy as fuck.. I could feel myself loosing you.” He almost whispered out. 

“Loose me? You can’t loose something you didn’t have in the first place... we agreed that this was just us having fun. No strings attached, remember? This sure as hell feels like strings to me.” I said feeling exasperated. 

“I know OK? I know!.” He said raising his voice in frustration. Honestly I don’t thing that frustration is with me as much as it is with himself. I let out a breath.

“I don’t think we should talk about this now. Honestly I’m exhausted and i think we both need to sleep and sober up..” I said raising to my feet, I turned and looked at him “you can sleep here you are to drunk to go anywhere, and I don’t feel like worrying about letting you go out like this.” I added.. 

“Thanks, I’ll take the couch.” He said sighing. I wanted to say it didn’t matter and that we could just share the bed, but I didn’t, instead I said goodnight and went to my bedroom to get ready for bed.. maybe tomorrow we could clear things up.

I tossed and turned for a while, even though I was tired as hell, it is like my body won’t find rest.. I did eventually feel me eyes close over and the sleep taken over me.. 

Before I even opened my eyes my nose picked up a wonderful smell, the smell of fresh coffee and bacon, mmh. Making me quick to get myself out of bed. I removed my makeup, put my hair in a messy bun before going to bed last night, and I’m only wearing an oversized shirt and panties, I contemplated for a minute maybe I should put some more clothes on, but decided against.. hell he’s seen me naked multiple times this could be considered a lot of clothes..

I followed the delicious smell to my kitchen and Damon must have heard or felt me being there cause he looked over his shoulder not stopping what he was doing on the stove, he was only wearing pants and I found myself admiring his naked back, seeing all the muscle movements, I couldn’t help using my tongue to wet my dry lips.

“Morning.” He said with a smile. “Hope you don’t mind I helped myself.” He added nodding towards the stove. 

“Don’t mind, smells fantastic.. since when do you cook?” I returned his smile. He just shrugged and smiled, getting back to what he was making. 

“There’s fresh coffee if you want.” He said, oh don’t mind if I do, coffee is just what I need. I didn’t say anything just walked over fixing myself a cup. Well this is a lot different from the way we left things last night, I know we need to talk about it, but right now I’m fine with this. I leaned back against the counter with my coffee in hand. 

“So what are you making?” I asked not wanting it to be awkward. 

“Bacon, eggs and French toast..” he smiled.. well some one is smiling a lot this morning. 

“Sound as good as it smells.” I let out with a moan.. I’m more hungry than I realized. Realizing my moan I cleared my throat.. “So you slept ok on the couch? it’s new so haven’t slept on it yet.” I rambled out worried I made more bad tension with the involuntary moan that escaped my lips. 

“It was fine, but honestly with how much a had to drink last night I think I could have slept on concrete without noticing..” he chuckled before getting serious “Malia can you forgive me?” He asked in a low voice. 

“For comparing my couch to concrete? I have to think about it.” I joked trying to avoid having that conversation right now.. honestly I don’t even now what to answer. 

“You know what I mean.” He said not thinking my joke was funny at all it would seem.. I let out I sigh. 

“Honestly Damon, I don’t know ok? I... wha..what you said yesterday, what you did.. I just don’t know..” I stuttered out, like I said I can’t figure my own head out right now. “Can we just eat breakfast, pretending we haven’t started this conversation yet.. I haven’t even finished my first cup of coffee yet.” I added with a small smile. 

“Ok, but we have to talk about this some time.” He said looking at me sternly so I wouldn’t argue, I just nodded. “The foods done anyway.” He added making us two plates. We sat down and ate in silence not necessarily an awkward one but silence non the less.. I was completely in my own head.. I know why I was dreading the conversation we should be having, I honestly don’t want to loose him, not as a friend and not anything else either.. I guess it feels like I have a special bond to him, maybe because he was my first. He was the first person I had s*x with but he was also the first person I had feelings for, maybe even loved at least I think I did all those years ago, not that I feel like I had a chance to explore those feelings.. can’t tell him that though, I’m afraid he will get scared and leave my life for good, mostly because I don’t think those feelings were reciprocated back then.. I got pulled out of my thoughts by Damon clearing his throat.

“So.. uhm.. maybe we should have that that talk now?” He said, the nervousness in his voice surprising me. Apparently I’m not the only one who’s kind of nervous about this talk.. 

“Yeah, we shou...” I was cut off by my phone ringing, I looked at the screen to see who it was, I recognized the number to be one of the places I’ve left my resume with. “I really need to take this, if that’s ok?” I asked in a hurry, Damon nodded and I pushed the answer button. 

“Hello?” I answered. 

“Hello miss, is this Malia Rodriguez?” The man on the phone asked.

“Yes, this is she.” I confirmed... the man said where he was calling from and that they were very interested in my resume and wanted me to came by for a show of the place and an interview. I gladly accepted. 

“So can you come by today?” He asked, and before I could answer he added “I’m sorry for the rush, the position were already filled, but the hire we made didn’t show up for his first day, so we are in a hurry to fill the spot..” 

“No problem sir, I’ll come by today.” After that we said our goodbyes and ended the call. I know the fact that they were in a hurry to fill the position was not necessarily a good thing, but I also know that this field of mechanics is not an easy one for women to be taken serious in, so I’ll take whatever I can to build my credentials in my field.. I couldn’t help but smile, I really hope I get it, I need this job, I’m going stir crazy not having something to do. 

“Good news?” Damon asked, making me look up at him and away from my phone which I apparently was sitting smiling at. Dork! 

“Yes, very.. I have a job interview today.” I answered, Damon returning my smile. 

“That’s great, I’m happy for you. I’m sure you’ll charm them.” He said with a wink. “I guess we’ll talk some other time then, I’ll get going and leave you to get ready.” He added as he got up from his seat, went to the couch to put his shirt and shoes on. I couldn’t help but make a little sigh, i don’t understand that I went from dreading the talk we were about to have, to be kind of disappointed that is wasn’t happening anyway.. I’m so confused! Damon came over to me and gave my a peck on the cheek. 

“Knock’em dead.” He winked and then he left. Leaving me sitting here with my thoughts...