Trace of A Broken Lead

nineteen.hallucination

N  A  T  A  S  H  A

.  .  .

"Are you insane?" he blurted out, "He's a white and I'm a black, it's out of order."

"I'm a white and you're a black but you still let me in this place, wasn't that out of order?" balik na sabi ko.

"We're dealing something big in here," he pointed out.

"But I wanted to give justice to our parents. I still want to know what's their plan, and I think there's saying something to us. Now that Beatrice was still lingering in our timeline. Wasn't odd?"

"You're just confused." tumayo siya pero nahawakan ko ang braso niya at muling pinaupo sa kama.

Agad ko rin siyang nabitawan nang mabawasan ang enerhiya ko.

"Listen, marami pang mabibiktima si Mr. Walter kapag hindi natin tinapos 'to. Don't you want to be free?" I said in patience, wanting him to understand my point.

"Killing him would not make my hands cleaner, Natasha. I'm forever stucked in this fvckin' job, I'll never be free."

He went to sleep after that. Kahit papaano ay may nalaman rin ako sa pagiging black nang sabihin niya 'yon. It would be your lifetime job when you became a black. Ang akala ko matutulungan ko siya pati ang kapatid niya kung sasabihin ko man ito pero parang mas lumala pa.

Hindi ko napansin ang oras at bigla na lang siyang nagising, it was already 6 o'clock in the morning. Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko at tinawagan si Jane na nakuha ko sa phonebook ni Ephriam.

Hindi pa ako nakakasagot nang biglang nagsalita si Jane, "Whoever this is, you're  fvckin' wrong timing!" she hissed in low voice.

"Hey, Jane, he's awake."

"Give him the phone." she commanded eagerly.

Tumakbo ako papunta kay Ephriam nang marinig ko na parang urgent ang kilos na 'yon. Agad ko sa kaniyang binigay 'yung phone at sinabi kong si Jane 'yon nang makita ko ang nakakunot niyang kilay.

I stayed in his front, wanting to hear their conversation.

"What?" malakas na sabi ni Ephriam, the moment he laid his phone in his ear. "You should've just retreated!"

"Why didn't you checked the house?"

"Now, we're in a great trouble!"

"For damn's sake that was just a backup plan, Jane. Aren't you listening to me?"

He looked stressed while massaging his forehead. What's happening? He glance at me when he caught me staring, he turned his back and answer the call in a calm tone again.

"Fixed this, Jane. I'm not going to help you. Wala ako diyan. Where's Haymitch?"

"Then, fixed it. Don't come here without fixing it."

"Damn the two of you. OKAY!"

Binaba niya na ang tawag at mabilis na kumilos. Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglaan pero nasisigurado ako na konektado ito sa pag-uusap nila ni Jane. Hindi na lang din ako umimik habang pinagmamasdan ang mga kilos nito.

"What's the matter?"

"Jane and Haymitch set a fvckin' trap and almost killed an innocent people."

"Were they okay?" I asked in concern.

But he ignored me. Mukhang nagkakagulo. Akala ko matatapos na kahapon ang kaguluhan sa mga pinaggagawa nila pero hindi pa pala tapos. At ngayon, baka napahamak na sila Haymitch at Jane. May nadamay pang inosenteng tao.  I felt like I'm exposed with the blacks.

"Hey," I tried to call him, sinusundan ko siya.

"Just don't mind it. They're going to be fine." he tried to console me even if he's not looking at my eyes.

"Was it hard? Is there something I could do to help?" pagtatanong ko pa.

"Not really."

"Maybe I can help—"

"No, even if you insisted, I will never change my mind." he sighed, "Let's just pretend that I didn't talk."

"I want to help, I am your friend." he's avoiding my stare while he's busy on typing on his laptop and simultaneously changing his outfit.

"It's not safe for you." mas lalo lang akong nag-alala sa sinabi nito.

I never acted like this before. Alam ko naman na hindi dapat ako makialam sa ginagawa nila pero paano kung mangyari ulit ang nangyari kahapon? Is Phoebe involved? Baka mamaya matuluyan niya na ito.

"How about you? Si Phoebe?"

He bit his lip before taking a deep breathe, "I still don't know if she's involve in here. Tumahimik ka muna."

Tumango na lang ako at hinayaan siya. Akala ko ay tuluyan na siyang aalis nang muli niya kong lingunin, "Were you okay to stay in here?"

"Why not?" I tried to smile.

"I just thought that you're not safe to stay in here anymore. You almost got r***d by those fvcking stranger and Mr. Walter send you a death threat. What if the white trace us here? All of my things were in here and you'll get imprison at that place again. It's a double kill, Natasha. Blacks were going to kill me if the whites found out my things."

I gaped my mouth at his confession. He was thinking about that? Akala ko wala siyang pake kaya hindi siya nagsasalita patungkol sa usapin na 'yon. At ngayong nagsabi siya tungkol sa maaring mangyari at gawin ng mga blacks, nararamdaman ko na ang takot niya hindi para sa gagawin niyang pagpatay, kungdi sa mangyayari sa hinaharap.

"Don't worry. I'll keep these things hidden," I said as I grab his exclusive things that he always used when he's staying here.

"No," he quickly grab it in my hand.

"Then what am I going to do? Kung makita man ako nila Mr. Walter dito. . . bahala na. Pero ngayong sinabi mo na madadamay ka kapag nakita nila ang gamit mo, then I'll do everything to lessen the upcoming problem. Itatago ko,"

"Naririnig mo ba ang sinasabi mo?" diretsyong tanong nito sa akin.

"Ofcourse." I gulped, "Sorry kung nagiging pabigat ako. Pero ito lang ang magagawa ko."

"You are helping a black, Nat. It's out of our order," he said darkly.

"Ngayon mo lang sinabi 'yan kahit na matagal na kitang tinutulungan sa gamit mo?" I scoff, "Mamamatay rin naman sa dulo. Let's just do everything right."

Ilang segundo siyang nakatingin sa akin at hindi nagsalita.

"No," he said sternly, "Wala kang ibang gagawin sa gamit ko. Hindi ko na kailangan ang tulong mo."

"What?" naguguluhan kong sabi. Ano ba talagang gustong mangyari ng lalaking 'to? Pa-iba-iba ang nasa isip niya.

"Bahala na rin." he said dismissively but I immediately grab his cheeks and make him look back at me again.

His face stiffen when he felt my energy, his sleepy eyes became alert and his lips were pursed.

"They need you there, you should leave. I'll take care of your things."

***

I walk back and forth the moment Ephriam was gone in my eyesight. It was already 3PM and I was getting anxious. Hindi naman ako ganito dati noong umaalis siya pero hindi na mawala sa isip ko ang sinabi ni Ephriam. Paano nga kung pumunta rito si Mr. Walter at kunin ako?

Handa na ba ulit ako?

Ayoko nang bumalik.

Katulad ng sinabi ko kay Ephriam ay ginawa ko ang lahat para maitago 'yung mga gamit niya. Nilagay ko lahat iyon sa isang box na nakita ko. Hindi naman siya ga'nong kadami pero nararamdaman ko ang halaga nito dahil sa bigat ng bawat gamit. May nakita pa akong mga devices na ngayon ko lang nakita.

Hinintay ko na kumulimlim sa paligid bago ako lumabas para makapaghukay sa malapit na lupa sa pabrika. Mabuti na lang talaga at may nakita akong pala sa truck na ginamit ni Ephriam noong nakarang araw.

It was a hell of digging with hard soil so I had to water it first. Halos nakagugol ako ng apat na oras nang tuluyan nang magkasya 'yung box sa ginawa kong hukay. Madali na lang nang tabunan ko ito ng lupa. Sinigurado ko pang nilagyan ko ng tumpok ng ligaw na d**o 'yon.

Nakaramdam na ko ng pagkagutom at sakto namang nakarinig na ako ng tunog sa harap ng abandonadong pabrika. Nasa likod na parte kasi ako kaya agad naman akong pumasok ulit para salubungin si Ephriam. Inayos ko pa muna ng sarili ko at binalik ang palang ginamit ko bago ako pumunta sa second floor kung saan naroroon ang mga gamit namin.

"May nangyari ba?" agad na tanong nito sa akin.

"Wala naman, kamusta sila Jane at Haymitch?" tanong ko at binigyan siya ng isang boteng tubig. Kinuha niya 'yon at ininuman.

"They're out of town. Kailangan nilang ayusin ang ginawa nilang gulo."

"So hindi pa tapos ang lahat."

Tumango ito bilang sagot. Sabay kaming kumain habang nanonood sa tv, nakafull volume pa 'yon pero hindi ko naman naiintindihan ang palabas.

"I've talked to him." napatingin ako sa kaniya nang sabihin niya 'yon. "Kinausap niya ako sa isip ko."

Napasinghap ako sa narinig ko, "Si Kuya? Bakit nandon si Kuya?"

"It happens that Henry already made a contact with Phoebe. She knows nothing about us. And the worse thing was that she's following the deaths that she've seeing in her nightmares."

"Is she dumb?" gulat na sabi ko.

"She knows that Scarlet will going to die so she followed her. I think she's trying to save her. Then another twin pops out to save Phoebe from me. I'd confirmed that it was the guys who Mr. Walter helped, Arius and Sirius."

"Their names sounds familiar," inalala ko naman kung saan ko narinig ang mga pangalan na 'yon.

"'Yon 'yung pangalan ng kambal na nakita ko sa supermarket!" I exclaimed. "Nakita ko na sila pero bakit sila tutulungan ni Mr. Walter?"

He scoffed and avoided my stare. He muted the loud tv for us to hear the conversation even more clearer.

"You know what Henry told me? He's saving my sister from Mr. Walter in exchange of those three people. Mr. Walter and Henry have an agreement, but Phoebe was all clueless about this. Sirius, Arius and Scarlet were like us, ang liit ng mundo, diba?"

Hindi agad ako nakagalaw sa sinabi niya. Pinagmamasdan naman ni Ephriam ang reaksyon ko.

"We must not let that happen."

"Just let them be, sinusolusyunan na ng kapatid mo ang pinoproblema mo. Mabubuhay tayong apat." walang pakeng sabi niya kaya naman napatayo ako.

"At panibagong tatlong tao ang madadamay kay Mr. Walter! This cycle will never stop! At kilala ko si Mr. Walter, he's cunning. Baka ginagamit niya lang si Kuya para sa mga pakulo niya. We must not trust him."

"Yeah, I must not trust Mr. Walter and Henry. Let me tell you another fvckin fact." he raised his index finger, "That Henry was making me the antagonist, he's making Phoebe believe that I was Epiales who sended her the letter. He's making me a psycho in front of my own sister."

Humiga siya sa sofa at pagak na tumawa. Hindi siya nakaipit kaya ang buhok niya ay nakakalat sa tabi ng mukha niya nang humiga siya.

"You're brother was fvckin' evil. Sorry, I may not able to stop you if you tried to kill him."

Bumagsak ang balikat ko at lahat ng pag-asa ko na mapagkakatiwalaan ko pa si Kuya ay biglang naglaho dahil sa sinabi ni Ephriam. So Kuya was really in Mr. Walter's side? Parang nasira ang pangarap ko na magkita-kita pa kaming apat at makalaya kay Mr. Walter.

"I'm going to save them." I said in determined tone while looking down on him. He smirked on me, making me feel that it's impossible. "Pati si Kuya. naniniwala ako na naiipit lang siya sa sitwasyon. Maniniwala pa rin ako kay Kuya hangga't hindi ko pa siya nakakausap ng harapan."

He scoff at me.

Hindi na magbabago ang isip ko. Tatapusin ko ang lahat ng 'to.

I was about to leave but I gasp when he suddenly pulled my hand down and I fall directly on his body. Before I could even do something, his other hand held my head to stop me. Parang naistatwa na lang ako sa position ko nang tuluyan niya na akong yakapin.

"Sinong kinikilig?" he chuckled and I immediately slapped his chest then tried to free myself from his grip.

"Bitawan mo 'ko." utos ko sa kaniya at pinipilit siyang itulak.

"You're going to call Jane."

"Gagawin ko talaga kapag hindi mo 'ko binitawan."

"Listen, first."

I stopped and just obeyed him, I can hear his even heart beat and his scent was so addicting like it was pulling me closer with him. His skin was so hot with mine. I don't know what is he doing right now, I really don't have any idea.

"I also need help."

I slap him again, "You're being flirty again."

"I needed to be save too." I gulped when I heard his heartbeat getting wild in his chest, I could even feel him gulping too. "I want that."

Lumuwag na ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin kaya hinarap ko na siya. Nang makaalis na ako sa pagkakahawak nito ay agad akong tumayo.

When I looked at him, he's already smirking. It seems like he was hiding his expression to me a while ago.

"I said we're going to help each other." nagpapasalamat ako na hindi ako nautal nang sabihin ko 'yon.

I bet I was blushing right now. Pakiramdam ko nanlalambot na ang tuhod ko, hindi ko maintindihan. Parang kinuha nito ang lakas ko, I felt harassed. Baka rin ginawa niya 'yon para di siya makatulog, like what the hell!

"N-napakalandi mo!" ngumisi lang siya sa akin ng nakakaloko. "Bakit kailangan mo pa akong yakapin?"

"It's simple, I need you." He simpered for an answer. He even look at me like I was over-reacting things.

"You drained my energy, napakawalangya mo. Tatawagan ko na talaga sila Jane—"

Suddenly, I wheezed, so loud that I also jumped on my own feet. Natumba ako sa pagkakatayo ko, at nakaramdam ako ng manhid sa hinlalaking daliri ko sa paa. Hindi ko maintindihan, parang may humihigop ng lakas ko. Agad kong tinanggal ang sapatos ko at agad akong nanlumo nang makita ko na may butas ito malapit sa may kuko ko. Walang dugong lumalabas pero bakit ganto ang nararamdaman ko. . .?

Napaiyak ako sa sakit, habang si Ephriam ay halatang nagulat din sa akin at hindi alam ang gagawin.

"What is this? What is this? Stop the bleeding. . ." naguguluhan kong sabi habang nakatingin sa mga daliri ng paa ko.

Hinawakan naman ni Ephriam ang balikat ko para pakalmahin ako. Pero agad akong napalayo sa kaniya nang maramdaman ko ang sunod sunod na pagtusok sa braso ko. Sa palpulsuhan, sa likod ng siko ko. Sa daliri ko! Sa braso. Magkabilang kamay ko!

SOBRANG SAKIT!

Parang may kung anong malaking bagay ang tumusok sa balat ko.

"What is happening?!" naguguluhan kong sabi. "Stop it!" I cried.

"MAKE IT STOP!"

The agony that was escaping from my mouth ecchoed in the factory as another blinding light comes right in front of my eyes.