Trace of A Broken Lead

eight.territory

N  A  T  A  S  H  A

.  .  .

Time makes us exist. That's what I've learned in Mr. Walter's place. There are times that we'll be born and death was the end of our time. I didn't know that I'll appreciate what she can do, it seems like she's always alive. But I cannot say that for I don't know if there's a limit of her ability.

She, alone, were already powerful enough to stop Mr. Walter so how does he outwit them? Knowing that two of his adopted children can read mind and Mom who can transfer energy. What really happened to the past?

"I asked you," she said in gritted teeth, "Who the hell are you?"

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at marahan akong nanghina. Nakita ko kung paano kumunot ang noo niya nang maramdaman iyon.

"I am Adelaide's—your friend's daughter."

Her shoulder stiffened when she heard my mother's name, she looked stunned and confused on what she's going to do. She was about to touch me when her son held her arm with serious eyes.

"Leave," he commanded.

"What?" gulat na tanong ng babae sa harap ko, ni Ninang? It sounds off. Hindi mawala sa isip ko ang huling alaala ko sa katawan niya.

"Bumalik ka na sa panahon mo," he said, sobrang seryoso niya at hindi ko alam parang hindi maganda ang nararamdaman ko sa pangyayari.

Hinatak ng babae ang braso niya, "Wala kang karapatang sabihin kung anong gagawin ko."

Nagsukatan pa sila ng tingin sa isa't isa kaya naman nagpabalik-balik rin ang tingin ko sa kanila. Nag-aaway ba sila? The intensity of their stares is so awkward, what am I witnessing?

"Gusto ko pa siyang kausapin." I insisted, tinapunan niya lang ako ng tingin bago umismid at tuluyan nang naglakad palayo.

The woman exhaled then looked at me, I was quiet surprise when I saw sadness in her eyes. Did they had a misunderstanding? Naku-curious ako.

"Okay lang po ba kayo?" I asked in concern when I saw her eyes getting teary, pain was evident in her face.

"Yeah," she forced a smile, "If you want to say something, do it. Ayaw niya nang magtagal pa ako dito."

Huminga ako ng malalim at pinakatitigan lang siya, "Nakita ko 'yung nangyari sa-"

"Please, I don't want to talk about my death." she was about to step back but I held her wrist.

I opened my mouth and say something but the words seems to be out of reach. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko.

"Say it," she urged.

"Uhm, I want to know everything about the past." madiing sabi ko pero agad akong nagtaka nang umiling ito sa akin.

"The past wasn't yours to look back."

"Then, tell me what is the aftermath of the past." mabilis na sabi ko, "Tell me what happened to your plan. Sigurado ako na hindi niyo hinayaan si Mr. Walter sa gusto niya. I was in that place and you were the only one whom I've seen there."

Hindi siya nakasalita sa sinabi ko, hindi ko rin mabasa ang nasa isip niya. She just gave me her blank face so I continue talking.

"Did you sacrifice yourself? What happened to the others? To mom and Dad? Where's Aimee and Gael now?"

She scoffed on what I asked her, "Hindi ba kinuwento na sa'yo ni Mr. Walter?"

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya, hindi na ko makatingin sa kaniya ngayon. Naalala ko nga ang mga kwento ni Mr. Walter sa akin sa lugar na 'yon.

"But I don't trust his words. Yes, he told me everything pero anong panghahawakan ko kung minsan na siyang nagsinungaling sa akin-" natigil ako nang siya naman ang humawak sa braso.

"May hinihiling ka pa bang mas mabigat sa kinuwento niya?"

"You and Mr. Walter have different perspective and sides, I want to—"

"Hinihiling mo ba na nagsisinungaling siya? Gusto mong umasa na buhay pa sila? To tell you the right thing, they're already dead. You must accept that, Natasha."

Kumunot ang noo ko at agad siyang tinulak. I know that there's something off here, hindi ko mahanap ang awa sa mga mata niya. I can't believe those eyes, they were once her friend.

"Accept their death, iyon ang ginawa mo? Then what about you? Tinanggap mo na ba ang kamatayan mo? Bakit ka nandito? Why are you still travelling through time?" I breathe deeply, "Time makes us exist, at alam niyo po 'yon. They're still living but not in our time, they're still living in our heads and in our nightmares. But you. . ."

Saglit akong tumigil at tumingin sa kaniya, wala man lang siyang kahit anong reaksyon sa sinabi ko. Ito ba ang kaibigan ng mga magulang ko? Bakit parang may mali sa itsura niya? Bakit parang hindi ko maramdaman ang pagiging magulang niya?

"You were rotting. Kinakalimutan ka na ng mga tao sa paligid mo-"

I just felt my cheeks stung by the sudden slap that I receive from her, tumagilid ang ulo ko at ramdam ko ang pagmamanhid ng labi ko. When I looked back at her, she was already raging in anger.

"You know nothing," she spit at me. "Wala kang alam sa paghihirap ko."

"Then explain it to me,"

"Wala akong ipapaliwanag sa'yo." umiling siya habang sinasabi 'yon. Hindi na siya makatingin sa akin ngayon at kahit wala pa siyang nasasabi, nararamdaman ko na ang kalungkutan niya.

"I can understand you." I said softly but she just hug me. So tight that I thought I forgot how to breathe.

"Yan din ang sinabi nila sa akin pero nilayuan nila ako."

I froze on what she said, that was her last words before she disintegrated into black sand. Napakuyom ang aking kamao habang unti-unting naglalaho ang abo niya.

What happened?

***

Weak and vulnerable. That's what I felt at that place, I experienced the most painful torture that no human can bare. The memory of Mr. Walter injecting so many tubes in my body and how he narrated everything to me like he was telling a tale on a kid, it was a pure torture.

He told me that my mother died of giving birth of me, afraid that she'll be going to be his specimen if I died in vain. But I live, nabuhay ako at napasa ang lahat ng paghihirap sa akin.

My father died by sacrificing himself to Mr. Walter, he made him a computer who would maintain my life capacity.

Gael and Aimee who are Kuya Henry's parents was burned by their foolishness. That's what Mr. Walter told me.

Pierre died in black's hands, leaving his child.

Beatrice Jewel died in a nightmare but her body continue to live in Mr. Walter's cryogenic chamber, but she was now dead.

He make me believe that I was only born because of selfishness, because of the knowledge of my Mom who are scared to be imprisoned in a cryogenic chamber.

Maybe they were also afraid to be a specimen that's why they did that, but didn't they think that I would also experienced that horrifying situation? Even if it's not me, doesn't they think that it might happen on their future child and suffer? I don't understand it, why can't they just accept the future and let it go?

He make me despise them, but I knew in myself that I shouldn't. In fact, Mr. Walter should take all the blame! He must die!

"Hey," I approached. Lumapit ako sa lalaking nagta-type sa laptop niya. Hindi niya na ginagaya ngayon si Carl Andrew kaya mas nakikilala ko ang mukha nito.

He just glance at me, "What do you want?"

"So you're father was Pierre?" tanong ko, tumango naman ito bilang sagot.

"Narinig ko na may kapatid ka, babae o lalaki? Kasama mo pa ba siya rito?" hindi ko alam kung bakit natanong ko pa iyon, pero bigla na lang pumasok sa isip ko.

Bigla siyang tumingin sa akin kaya muntik na akong mapaatras. Good thing I stopped myself.

"What made you think that I'll answer your question?" matalas na sabi nito kaya saglit akong napalunok.

"Para lang alam ko kung may bibisita pa dito."

"You should've just stayed there. It's not your bussiness to know who I am."

"Yeah, but, I'm afraid I'll get-"

"You're always afraid." naiinis na sabi nito at tumayo dala ang laptop niya, "Kung laging ganyan ang nararamdaman mo, hindi ka mabubuhay dito."

Hindi na ko nagsalita nang sabihin niya 'yon, iniwan nanaman niya akong nakatayo. Siguro tama siya, nabuhay akong nasa ilalim ng takot kung kaya't unti-unti na akong nalulunod sa mga masamang pangyayari.

This feelings could be my death.

Wala akong ibang ginawa sa lugar na ito kungdi lumibot at tignan kung anong mga bagay ang pwede kong pagkaabalahan. Nahuhuli na rin ako ng lalaki pero parang wala naman siyang pake, tinatapunan niya lang ako ng tingin at hindi ako pinapansin. Sinusuway niya ako kapag masyado akong maingay, ayaw niya ring magpatugtog ako ng kanta dahil naiirita daw siya. Hinahayaan niya akong kainin 'yung pagkain sa ref, minsan sinasabayan niya pa akong kumain.

What's odd was that I was slowly feeling comfortable around him. Kahit puro galit at inis ang pinaparinig niya sa akin, nasasanay na rin ako. Sa madaling salita ay hindi na ako natatakot sa kaniya at iniiwasan na lang ang mga bagay na hindi niya gusto.

Nakasandal ako sa sofa habang hinihintay ang pagdating ng lalaking 'yon, lagi naman siyang wala rito kaya may panahon ako para gumala. Tuwing uuwi siya ay mukha siyang pagod.

I wonder what is his job. . .

Napatingin ako sa paligid nang makarinig ako ng ingay. Nakita ko siyang naglalakad papunta sa kwarto niya habang nasa balikat nito 'yung bag na ninakaw ko. Fave niya 'yung bag na 'yon.

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa kaniya, his aura was off today.

"How's the day?" I greeted but he didn't looked at me.

"Peace," he said in monotone voice, "I want peace."

Hindi ko na naiwas ang tingin ko ng mabilis siyang nakapaghubad ng damit sa harap ko, tinapon niya ang sarili niya sa kama hanggang sa nakadapa na siya doon.

He looked tired again.

Mukhang napapansin na rin nito na hindi ako nakakatulog kaya siya na ang gumagamit ng kwartong 'to. Noong unang mga araw ay sa sofa siya natutulog.

Kumuha ako ng kumot at ilalagay ko na sana iyon sa katawan niya pero agad nitong hinatak ang kumot sa kamay ko at siya na mismo ang nagtakip sa katawan niya.

"Grumpy. . ." I chuckled when he turned his back at me.

Inalis ko 'yung bag sa kama at kinuha ito pero napatigil ako nang may maramdaman akomg kung anong matulis sa loob nito. Umalis muna ako sa kwartong 'yon at bumalik sa sofa para tignan kung anong laman ng bag.

Binuksan ko 'yon, at agad na bumungad sa akin ang nakarolyong tuwalya. Pero ang mas nakapagpakunot ng noo ko ay ang amoy nito, ang langsa.

Kinabahan nanaman ako pero hindi yon naging hadlang para pigilan ako sa pagtingin ng bagay ng kung anong malangsa dito. Kinuha ko ang isang nakarolyong tuwalya na mukhang may binalot na kung ano dito. Dahan-dahan kong binuksan iyon at natigilan ako sa nakita ko.

Kutsilyo na may bahid ng dugo. Ang puting tuwalyang hawak ko ay nabahiran din ng dugo, halos pulang-pula na ito. Saan niya ginamit ang kutsilyong ito?... Bakit may dugo?

Tinignan ko pa ang ibang laman ng bag, may mga devices dito na hindi ko alam kung para saan pero ang mas pinagtuonan ko ng pansin ay 'yung itim na tablet na nakita ko.

Habang pinagmamasdan ko 'yon bigla akong may naalala. . .

I opened a white door, and the only thing that I could think of was Mr. Walter's words at me.

"You are free to explore but not to escape."

And everytime I tried, a shocking electric wave hit me and paralyzed me for a few minutes. I've tried a multiple times and just like how I forgot about the hours of staying here, I lost count of it.

Instead of sulking in a white quarantined room, I explore the place and quietly memorize every room I entered.

And now, I'd entered a room with full of well built designed cabinets. It looks metal and new. The scent of it was something I could smell in a storage room. Something flickered in my right and it followed by movement with light tapping sound.

There I saw Manuel, tapping on a black rectangular thing on his hand. He take a glance at me before I decided to walk towards him. It get's clearer, it was a tablet that almost has a measure of my hand.

"What's that?"

"061 Schwarze Tablette, I assume."

"A What?"

"It's not an ordinary tablet," he shrug and sit beside a chair.

"So what's that?"

"Black thing," dito na ako napatingin sa bagay na iyon. It looks advance and something mysterious of it.

"I don't understand it, but I want to try to."

"A black thing was owned by someone like you. You don't think you're only the one who have something else right?" I remained motionless. "There were still a person like you, some were trained, some were-"

"Trained for what?"

"To kill, they were the enemies."

"So? Anong kinalaman nila sa bagay na 'yan?"

"They owned this."

I snickered, "Bakit? Sila lang ba ang may hawak niyan? There were a million of produced tablets in our world, it was distributed all over the country-"

"This is no ordinary, it's beyond from being it." he said and started to flip the tablet in his hands, as if examining it carefully.

"What makes it special then?"

"I don't know, only blacks can answer that."

"How did you know that it was owned by them? Are you a black person, Mr. Corcoran?"

Then he looked at me sternly, straight to my eye. "No, I'm a white person."

.

I looked at the tablet that was still on.

There were so many listed named there, I think for about 100 names. Some were dashed and was obviously removed. Some were in different color, red, gray, white, black. And on the last part of the list, there were a series of numbers on it

091419GHA, 082619YTF, 082519PL, 081719TRE, 072719NGS, 072419KJLJ, 072119QMN UNDERKILL

There was only one name that was previously tapped on this tablet, as was seen on the color of the label. I started to feel anxious, I don't know why.

I press, Natasha Evelyn Jones. My name was colored in bright red. Then another tab popped out revealing my identification. In there, it revealed my name, my parents, my birthdate and other basic information. But there were some that was left unknown. I scroll down, then I saw my I.D. picture when I was in highschool.

I stared in wide eyes as the place suddenly beamed in a lightning, followed by it's roaring thunder then the rain pours down, creating another set of sound.

Emmanuel was a white person and was intended to kill me in a torture way, then I managed to escape in their place and hide.

But my hiding place wasn't safe, it is in a territory of another enemy.

.  .  .