Trace of A Broken Lead

twenty-five.deal

N  A  T  A  S  H  A

.  .  .

Walang nakaimik nang hawakan na rin ng dalawa pang black si Ephriam nang magtangka itong hawakan ako. Hindi ko pa rin nagagalaw ang katawan ko nang buhatin ako ng amerikanong lalaki. Buhat niya ako gamit ang balikat niya kaya ang tiyan ko ay nakabaluktot doon habang ang kamay at paa ko ay nakalutang sa ere.

Napansin ko naman na pumasok kami sa isang kweba na napapalibutan din ng mga naglalakihang puno. Hinawi pa ng lalaki 'yung mga vines para makapasok kami. Hindi ko matitigan ng mabuti ang lugar dahil ang bilis talaga maglakad ng lalaking 'to. Natatakot na rin ako sa awra ng kweba dahil madilim sa loob.

Where the f**k are we? Is this where they work? Are they recruiting me now? Or are they killing me? Sobrang sakit ng pagkakahawak nila sa akin.

"Natasha," Someone whispered. In my peripheral view, I've seen Jane looking at me with concern eyes. She looked totally stressed.

Hindi rin naman nagtagal ay nakakita na ako ng iilang liwanag. Pero kahit ganon, ang dilim pa rin dito. Nilagay ako ng lalaki sa may couch kaya napaupo ako dito. My body is so stiff, looking like I was really scared.

I tried to hide my amusement when I look around to see the place. Wow, ang ganda lang. Kahit puro bato ang nakikita kong dingding at walang kabinta-bintana, ang ganda pa rin ng ayos ng mga furnitures at pagkakagawa ng lugar.

Nakita ko na lang na pinaupo rin si Ephriam di kalayuan sa akin. Habang 'yung si American Boy ay nakaupo sa upuan na magara.

Nakatingin lang ito sa akin kaya unti-unti na akong kinikilabutan, nakahukot pa ang katawan ko dahil hindi ko pa rin ito nararamdaman.

"Go to your rooms. We'll be fine here." he said and the other's only looked at each other.

Ngayon ay mas nakikita ko na ang mga mukha ng mga nakasama ko sa van. Pero ang pinanlisikan ko lang ng mata ay 'yung babaeng may blonde din na buhok katulad ko. Pero mas maiksi ang buhok niya at mas cute ako. Mukha naman siyang gurang, lalapit pa sana ito dun kay American Boy ng itaas na nito ang kamay niya, saying that it was already dismissed. Kita ko kung paano madismaya 'yung babae at bago siya umalis ay inirapan niya muna ako at binigyan ng matalim na tingin.

Sumunod naman ang iba sa kanila. Hanggang sa kaming apat na lang ang nandito. Hindi ko inaasahang mapatingin kay Ephriam na ngayon ay prenteng nakaupo sa upuan niya. At sa tabi niya ay si Maeve na nakahawak pa sa balikat nito. Kulang na lang ay umupo siya sa hita nito, mas nangigil lang ako sa kaniya kumpara doon.

He snapped his fingers and I took a loud gasp as I felt my body again. I straightened my back and my shoulder were really tensed.

"Did you know why you are not chained?" sabi nung lalaki na ngayon ay may hawak ng baso ng whiskey. Hindi ako sumagot at nakatingin lang sa harap ko. Napapitlag ako nang maramdaman ko ang kamay nito sa buhok ko, itinaas niya ito kaya naramdaman ko ang hangin sa leeg ko.

"Chill," he chuckled under his low voice. I glance at Ephriam for help but he just avoided my stare.

He scanned my left cheeks, "Hey, fifteen. Napasobra naman ata 'yung pagsuntok mo." My eye twitched when I heard his slang tagalog.

Fifteen. Was that Ephriam's codename as a black? Naalala akong tinawag siyang ganon ni Maeve pati nung isang black kanina. They used numbers in their codename.

"Twenty did that."

"And you didn't stop him?" kumunot ang noo ni Ephriam sa sinabi nung lalaki.

"Am I the boss?"

"Yeah, right, I am."

Hindi sumagot si Ephriam at ngayon mukha na siyang bored. Iniwas niya ang tingin sa amin at tamad na sumandal sa upuan niya. Si Maeve naman ay ngumiti lang kay Ephriam, hawak-hawak pa rin ang balikat nito.

Tsk.

Napayuko na lang ako, ano pa bang ginagawa nilang dalawa rito?

"Do you know us?" he asked while holding my bruised arm. I cringe on what he's doing. What? Is he flirting with me? Pilit kong tinanggal ang kamay niya pero tinignan niya lang ako ng may nakataas na kilay.

"You being black? I guess not." I was a little bit surprise that I didn't stutter. Maybe what I did earlier makes my confidence boost for awhile. Ayoko nang may manakit pa sa akin.

His side lips rose, looking satisfied on my reaction.

"Do you want to be like us?" he asked sternly. Was this how they recruit a member? It's too softie. . . Akala ko may mangyayari pang sakitan at bugbugan dito.

"What?" Maeve immediately disapprove by the idea. Thank goodness, she spoke. "Anong pinaplano mo, Harry?"

Harry? That's his name? Siya 'yung lalaking tinutukoy ni Maeve noon. He was really the boss huh? So this is the team that they leave.

"Eight, no first name basis, please."

"Oh, it's alright. She knows my name, and I think yours too." Maeve said. Ephriam remained quiet.

"Really?" the man looked back at me. But I didn't answer.

Nagulat na lang ako nang ilahad nito ang kamay niyo sa harap ko. I looked up at him and I saw his sinister smile, I suddenly got chill. "Can I hold your hand?"

Napatingin ulit ako sa kamay nito na nakalahad.

"I'm Harry and I heard that you're Natasha."

Hindi pa rin ako nagsalita at nakatingin pa rin sa kamay niya.

"Come on, it's just a little greet." he smiled at me again which I found really creepy.

"You'll paralyze my body again." madiing sabi ko.

"Come on, I could turn it off." he grin, "It's a little test, you know."

Tumingin ulit ako sa kamay niya pati sa mata niya. I think I can handle it, I am used to pain and maybe this one wouldn't kill me. I just need to be brave.

I was about to shake my hand into his but I heard Ephriam's voice, "Natasha," his tone was like a warning. I don't know, bigla akong natakot. What's with shaking hands? May mangyayari ba sa akin kung hawakan ko ang kamay niya?

Pero nang makita ko na mas lumapit si Maeve kay Ephriam at may binulong dito na may ngiti sa labi, parang may binubulong siyang nakakatawa.

Sa sobrang inis ko ay hinawakan ko ang kamay niya kahit na nagdadalawang isip ako. Kasabay non ay ang marahang pagkahina ko. His eyes grew wider in amusement, he was still staring at me. Tatanggalin ko sana ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay niya nang humigpit ang pagkakahawak nito dito. Bigla akong nataranta sa ekspresyon nito na parang may gusto itong gawin sa akin. Pero pinanatili ko ang titig ko sa kaniya, I didn't flinched.

Hindi ako pumiglas nang mas diniinan niya pa ang pagkakahawak dito, making my bones twisted.

I glance at Ephriam for some reaction but he's already pursing his lips while looking at our hands. He tried to move but Maeve stopped him.

I winced and bit my lip and that's when he loosened his grip and bring my hands in his lips, gently kissing it.

Kinilabutan ako, ramdam ko ang mabibigat na paghinga ko nang bitawan niya ang kamay.

"How's that as a welcome?"

What kind of welcome was that?

Napatayo ako pero nanatili pa rin akong nakatingin sa taas dahil sa tangkad nito. Was that how they're going to recruit me? What? Why did he do that? What really did he do?

"No," mariing sabi ko at pinilit pang umatras pero muntik lang din ako mapaupo ulit.

He tilted his head in his left, "No?"

"Don't touch me again," I hissed and I heard his fvckin' laugh.

"Sure," kibit-balikat niya at naglakad palayo. "So you really can give someone an energy, huh?"

Nanatili akong tahimik at pinagmamasdan siya. Hindi ko alam ang isasagot. Hinawakan ko ang kamay ko at ramdam pa rin iyon hanggang ngayon. He sucked my energy and he paralyzed my body. Alam kong konektado siya kila Haymitch at Maeve, was he their oldest brother?

"You could do a big help." nakangiting sabi niya.

"What makes you think that I'm going to help you?" I said. Honest thoughts, pero nakakagulat na hindi naapektuhan ng kaba ko ang pagsasalita ko ngayon.

"Because if not, I'm going to kill you."  biglang tumayo si Ephriam kaya lahat kami napatingin sa kaniya, nawalan pa ng balanse si Maeve na nakasandal sa balikat niya kaya napatayo rin ito.

"What?" takang tanong nung Harry sa biglaang kilos nito.

"I'll go," nang tignan ko siya ay hindi man lang niya ako sinulyapan o kung ano pa. Iiwan niya talaga ako rito? Hahayaan niya akong mamamatay sa kamay nila? Saan naman siya pupunta?

Napakuyom ang kamao ko dahil sa galit. He really did not care for me, I stopped my tears from falling as I speak again.

"I want to join your group." I said in stern voice while looking directly at Harry's eyes. I saw in my peripheral view how Ephriam stopped walking.

Nginitian lang ako ni Harry na para bang inaasahan niya na ang sasabihin ko, kitang-kita ko kung paano kumunot ang noo ni Maeve na para bang hindi siya sang-ayon na lagi niya na akong makikita. Hell, ayoko rin talaga siyang makita.

"Glad to hear that, so let's—"

"Only in two condition," pag-singit ko at napalunok nang makita ko na para bang hindi nagustuhan ni Harry ang sasabihin ko.

"Are you the boss?" pinigilan ko ang sarili ko na hindi umirap. He's the boss thing.

"No, but I assume you need me." he smiled in amusement again. Maeve scowled at me like a mad cat.

"Very well, what's your condition?"

"I'll sign whatever your thing after one month."

"What? Are you going to bid farewell to your love ones?"

"Maybe," I shrugged and took a step forward, "But my intention was to have a practice."

Dalawang segundo itong napatigil sa sinabi ko at biglang tumawa ng malakas sa harap ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong nakakatawa.

"Eight," he called for Maeve, "Does killing need a practice?"

"If she's too softie, I think she should kill a cockroach first." irap ni Maeve kaya naman tumigil na sa pagtawa si Harry.

"Panira," balik na sabi nito at muling tumingin sa akin. "Why do you need to practice?"

"And I want to practice with him," hindi ko sinagot ang tanong niya at nagdemand pa habang nakaturo sa direksyon ni Ephriam na ngayon ay nakatayo pa rin, nakalingon na sa amin.

"Him?" Harry frowned like he didn't want the idea, I started to walk in his direction and stop right in front of him. "Why him?"

"Could we please discuss this in private? I'd like to offer something big to you."

"Who are you to talk to me like that?"

"I'm a white person, Harry," I said in stern voice. "I know my place."

Ilang segundo siyang nakatitig sa akin at ramdam ko ang tensyon sa pagitan naming dalawa. Mukhang hindi niya inaasahan ang sasabihin na isa akong whites, marahil walang nakakaalam. I can hear Maeve's unbelivable gasp.

"Get out," Harry commanded to the two of them. Maeve scowled in disbelief that he actually consider my favor. Ephriam, on the other hand, left the room.

He's right. I'm dealing with death.

***

Tinanggal ko na ang helmet ko at hanggang ngayon wala pa rin talaga ako sa mood. Napansin ko naman na nakatitig sa akin ngayon si Ephriam.

"You shouldn't have done that."

"The benefit is good for the both of us." I defensively said.

"Whatever you're dealing with wouldn't make your future free, Natasha."

"You don't know the future, black guy." I said teasingly while tapping his cheeks, he immediately grab it.

"Take it back, don't be like me." he said in clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry pero hindi ko na mababawi 'yon. Besides, Harry really like my idea."

Umabante siya kaya napaatras ako, I became uneasy as he continue to move forward making me walk backwards. Until I hit the wall and he cornered me with his towering heights.

"I won't let you become one. I won't let you sacrifice for our freedom."

"Who said I'm going to sacrifice?" I laughed at him and he just looked at me, confused.

"What are you saying?"

"Harry and I dealed about attacking Mr. Walter's place. And the whole black group will forever be free in killing if they suceeded in hunting the operation of one group of whites. That's what made the blacks and whites, they were formed to hunt each other."

I smiled when I saw his shocked expression and I can say that he's not believing it.

"How did you know that?" takang tanong nito sa akin. I held both of his hands and tiptoed so that I could lean with him.

"I have my connection even if I was just staying here." I winked at him and his mouth gaped.

"Are you seriously researching about that all these days?"

"I told you, I will save everyone."