Perfect girlfriend

Chapter thirteen - Be yourself

Layla's POV:

Jayden is getting worried about my health. I have no problem with that, but it's better if he stops asking questions. I'm glad that mom didn't tell him anything. I know how much she wants me to tell him the truth. I will do it, but when I feel ready. We have been dating for almost two weeks which is not enough for me. After all, I want to prepare myself for the breakup. There is a chance that he might not dump me, but it's low. I don't think someone will want to stay with a sick girl. My sickness is not that serious, but you never know what might happen. I go to my checking every month. That's why my doctor said I had lost one and a half kilograms in the past month. Someone will say that it's not much. Honestly, it depends on my situation. For me, every gram that I lose is too much. I'm already too skinny, so I need to start gaining weight. That can't happen by sitting and eating. It's not like I eat much. Since I got close to Jayden, I started eating more. Well, with the consequences of that. Let's say I don't want him to notice that I don't eat much. I would love to eat more than I can, but my body doesn't let me. I wonder when this will be over. Honestly, I'm tired. People keep looking at me. In school, things are not better. I don't know how Jayden didn't find out about my condition. Everyone is talking about it. I'm sure that the boys on the team are talking about me. Maybe he doesn't want to believe it. That way is better. I am the one who should tell him the truth. I don't know when I will do it, but he has to hear it from me. I hope this won't be a reason for him to break up with me. I want us to work things out.

It's the weekend. I don't have any plans. Maybe I will lay in bed the whole day. Jayden didn't say he wanted us to go out or do something. That means that I have the day for myself. Honestly, I don't want to do anything. All I want is to lay in bed. I'm sure mom will make me get up, but I won't do it. The weekend is the only time when I can sleep late.

I woke up and checked my phone. There were no new messages. Good for me. I don't have to put my attention on anyone. Usually, this means that I have to dress and hide my body. At least I don't do it when I sleep. I bought PJs in my size. I won't lie that I like oversized pajamas. It's comfortable. I was about to go under the covers when there was a knock on the door. You have to be kidding me. All I want is to sleep.

- Come in.

- Good morning, Layla.

- Jayden. What are you doing here?

- I came to see you. Do you mind?

- Um, no. - I said and pulled the quilt on me

Jayden came at the wrong time. I won't let him see my body. I have to make him go away until I get dressed. Hiding from him became harder. I'm trying my best, but I expect him soon to understand everything.

- If you want, we can have breakfast together. I already had mine, but I would love to keep you company.

- Great. Can you go out? I want to get dressed.

- Yeah, sure. I'll wait for you in the kitchen.

- Thank you.

That was close. I have to tell Jayden everything. If he finds out from someone else, he will be disappointed that I didn't tell him. I won't think about this now. I quickly got ready and walked downstairs. Honestly, I don't feel comfortable eating, especially in front of him, but I don't have a choice.

- Do you want food?

- Thanks, but I ate half an hour ago. I'm not hungry now. Mom made French toast.

- It sounds good.

- It was. The next time I can tell mom to make one for you.

- Maybe. - I said and grabbed my food

- I don't want to offend you, but is this enough?

- I'm still sleepy. I eat because I won't make it until lunchtime.

- That's why, when I wake up, I play on my phone or do something else to wake me up.

- All I want in the morning is to sleep more. - I said, and Jayden chuckled

- Not only you. - my boyfriend said and kissed my cheek

- What do you want us to do today?

- Lay down.

- This is something that only I can say. You should be the active one.

- Well, I don't have any plans. If we don't count that, I wanted to see you.

- I'm glad that you are here.

- For you always.

- We can go for a walk or go somewhere.

- Do you like shopping?

- It depends on the situation. I mean, it's not my favorite thing, but I don't hate it. Why?

- I have seen many boys walk after their girls and carry their bags. We can pretend to be one of them. No one said that we have to buy something.

- I won't lie that it would be interesting.

- To understand that you agree.

- I do, but I won't buy anything. I have too many clothes.

- No problem. When you are ready, we can go.

- I have to change my clothes.

- Why? You look good and comfortable.

- I am, but these clothes I wear at home.

- I don't care about your appearance. Take your things, and let's go.

- When people start looking at you, I will say I told you.

- Deal.

I took what I needed, and both with Jayden went to the mall. Can I know why I agreed to this? As long as we don't buy anything, I am good. Shopping is already a struggle for me, so I don't want him to see it. Also, most of the time is hard for me to find the right size. It's better if my boyfriend doesn't know about this. We walked into one clothing store.

- I think that this will look cute on you.

- Thanks, but that is not something I like.

- Can I pick you an outfit?

- You said that we wouldn't shop.

- I said that we wouldn't buy.

- Jayden, I don't want to try clothes.

- Fine. We can go for ice cream.

- Now we are on the same page. - I said, and he chuckled

We went for ice cream and ate in the food court. No one will let us with food in the store, no matter which one. Also, this is a food that melts quickly. When we ate it, Jayden and I walked into another store. I noticed that he liked one shirt, so I let him try it and see if it would fit him. It's not like I will stop him from trying on clothes. I looked up and saw one of the boys from the team with a cheerleader. Sh*t! I quickly ran to the changing rooms and hid in one of the cabins. They can't see me here. Not when I am with Jayden. I looked up and saw that he was there. I forgot that he went to try on a shirt.

- Can I know why you are here? It's not like I mind.

- One of the boys is here.

- What boy?

- From your team. He is with a cheerleader.

- I understand. Look, we can't hide here forever.

- When they go out of here, we can go.

- Who knows when this will be?

- I don't want them to see me with you.

-Why?

- Because they will make fun of you.

- Be yourself. I don't care about the way you look. You are amazing.

- That's what you think. What about the rest?

- Hey, you look good.

- I don't think like that.

Jayden didn't say anything and kissed me. That felt good, but it didn't make me feel better. He pulled away and looked at me. Please, don't pull out the puppy eyes. Luckily, he didn't do it. Instead, I received a hug.

- I'll go and check if they are still in the store. Stay here.

- Thank you.

Soon my boyfriend came back and said that they were gone. Good. Now we can go out. Both of us walked to couple more stores. Later, we went for a walk. I would love to be around people with my boyfriend, but I am nervous. I can't think about anything else. After some time, we went home. Let's say that we still didn't have lunch. I made two sandwiches.

- If you want something else, I will make it.

- Don't worry. I eat everything.

- Good for you.

- What do you mean?

- Some people eat only specific food.

- They don't know what they want.

- Maybe, but they have someone to cook it for them.

- Since they don't know how to use their money.

- All I will say is that I don't have this problem.

- Me either. I'm glad for everything that I have.

- Do you want dessert? I think that we had cake.

- Thanks, but maybe later.

- Ok. What do you want us to do?

- Rest in bed.

- I like this.

Both of us walked into my room. I have no problem laying down, but without snuggling. I have done that, but I always make sure that Jayden's hands are not around my waist. Otherwise, he will understand everything. You can feel if someone is skinny when your hand can wrap around their whole body. Honestly, I can lay with him forever. I wanted to be more open, but people's comments made me feel insecure. I don't even like myself anymore or not the way I used to. I received a cheek kiss, which made me look at him.

- You zoned out.

- Sorry. I was thinking about something.

- Was it me?

- Not this time.

- Are you ok? You look upset.

- I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me.

- I don't like when you are upset.

- I'm not. See. - I said and smiled

- Fake smiles don't work on me.

- What can I do to make you believe me?

- Nothing.

- Why?

- Because of this. - he said and started tickling me

- No, please stop. - I said, laughing

- I won't until I fix your mood.

- You have to stop. Now!

- Why? Don't you like it?

- It's not about that. I'll be back.

I walked into the bathroom and locked myself. I sat down and started crying. Why can't I be normal? Do I want that much? I want to eat normally and to be able to show my skin without people making fun of me. Sometimes their comments hurt me. I know that I have to ignore them, but I can't. It's not easy. Soon, there was a knock on the door.

- Layla, are you ok?

- I'm fine.

- Are you sure? I'm getting worried

- I said that I was ok.

- Will you come out?

- Give me a minute.

- Ok, take your time.

I washed my face and walked out. I gave Jayden a small smile and sat back down. He didn't say anything and hugged me. That is what I need right now.

- You know that you can tell me if there is a problem.

- I know, but I don't want to talk about this.

- Is it that bad?

- It depends on the person and his personality.

- Now you got me interested.

- When the right time comes, I will tell you everything. Please, don't ask anything.

- Ok, I can wait.

- Thank you for your understanding.

- No problem. What do you want us to do now?

- I don't know. I'm not much in the mood.

- We can watch movies or continue to lay down.

- Whatever you want.

- All I want is to be with you, no matter what we do.

- Really?

- Yes. You are one special girl to me. I want you to know it. So no matter what you do, you can think of me.

- Ok, I will. Thank you. - I said and kissed my boyfriend's cheek

- You're welcome. Do you want us to take a nap?

- I prefer to talk with you. It feels nice.

- No problem. What should be our topic?

- Why are you always with Evan? I'm sure that the other boys are not that bad.

- They are not. Let's say the boys don't know when to keep a conversation private. With Evan, I can talk about you as much as I want. The rest of the team will make fun of me.

- Maybe it's better if you don't date me.

- Don't think about it. I'm not breaking up with you.

- I never said that you have to.

- Good. You won't get rid of me.

- I don't plan to do it.

Jayden and I kept talking until dinnertime. Mom invited him to stay with us. I have to say that she is convincing. Also, I like spending time with my boyfriend. He is good to my parents and me. Let's hope that no one will ruin our relationship. I don't want to lose Jayden. He is the first boy that has treated me so well. I don't want to give up on him. Now is not the time for this. I hope my state won't be a reason for us to break up.