Of Beasts and Wolves

Chapter 6: Moving In

When they got back to Gavin's, he helped Max take everything into her room - though there wasn't much, and she probably could have handled it herself - then he sat on the bed and talked with her while she unpacked her few belongings and put them away. The closet still looked empty, and Gavin decided he would take Max shopping so she could pick out new clothes and get whatever she wanted to decorate her room and bathroom with. Curious to see what Max thought of that idea, Gavin decided to ask her about it at dinner that night. He wanted to spoil her, and make sure she knew that he would always take care of her. It wasn't that he thought Max couldn't take care of herself. On the contrary, she'd had no choice but to take care of herself for the last five years, given that her so-called foster family had all but ignored her.

Still, for now, she was chattering happily, telling him stories about when she and Jessica were younger, and the trouble they would get into together. She told him about the sleepovers spent at Jessica's house when Max's parents were still alive, and then, after she'd moved in with William and Melissa, how those sleepovers became her lifeline. Jessica and her parents had become Max's surrogate family. Guilt racked Gavin as Max's enthusiasm and excitement dwindled into sadness the more she talked about her parents.

Unable to stand seeing his mate so unhappy, he rose from his seat on the bed and crossed the room to pull Max into his arms. She curled up against his chest and tucked her nose into the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply and allowing the comforting scent of her mate to calm and relax her.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, her words slightly muffled from the way her face was buried against him. "I didn't mean to ruin the good mood. I just miss them so damn much sometimes!"

Gavin was already shaking his head, though he knew she couldn't see him. "Don't apologize," he told her, bringing one hand up to stroke over the back of her hair. "Of course you miss your parents. That's natural. You don't have to apologize for having feelings and being sad when you think about them."

Max had no words for him, though, and just held on for another few minutes, grateful to be allowed the opportunity to calm her breathing and sniffle away the tears that had been threatening to fall. When she did pull away, she smiled up at her mate, then leaned up on her tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his mouth. "Thank you for understanding," she whispered. "I don't always get sad when I think about my parents. But I did today because I think they would have been thrilled to meet you. They would have really liked you."

"Actually, I knew your mother," he told her. "She was my trainer when I first joined the Alpha's Sentinels. Adela was strict, but she was also fair and very kind."

Now Max looked intrigued. She had her own memories of her parents, and she'd heard all of Jessica's memories. They'd told the stories to each other many times over the years following Adela and Jameison's deaths. This was a new angle, though, and someone who had seen a different side of her mother than Max had. "Tell me?" she begged, taking Gavin's hand and leading him back to the bed so they could sit down together. All thoughts of unpacking had completely left her mind at the prospect of hearing more stories about her mom.

More than willing to indulge her, Gavin sat down in his previous spot and pulled Max down beside him. "I remember your mom's laugh the most," he told her. "She loved to laugh, and did so often. When we trained, she'd giggle every time she knocked me down, then help me stand up again and show me what I'd done wrong. It seemed like I was on my back in the dirt more often than I was standing upright. Your mom was tough, and she took pride in the fact that none of our warriors or Sentinels could beat her. Everyone wanted the chance to challenge your mom, and she'd take them all on with a grin. Even the Alpha himself couldn't beat her."

"Really?" Max smiled at hearing that. "Momma was always laughing and smiling and joking at home, too. I loved her laugh. I always tried to sound like her when I laughed, but I never quite got it right, and she eventually told me that my laugh was unique and lovely, and she didn't want me changing it because that would make her sad. I'd never seen her sad before, and I didn't want to be the one to cause it, so I stopped trying to sound like her."

"I'm glad," Gavin told her. "I like your laugh. It makes me smile when I hear it."

Max blushed, but grinned fiercely at him, pleased that he shared her mother's enjoyment of her laugh. "Thank you. What else can you tell me about Momma?"

Her enthusiasm made Gavin laugh, and he eagerly began to recount the tales of his training with Adela. Thanks to her, he quickly became one of the best Sentinels, and used her training and guidance to this day. He made sure to keep his skills sharp, and never hesitated when one of his fellow Sentinels challenged him to spar. He didn't quite have Adela's reputation of being unbeatable, but he was pretty close to it. He told her how they would race through the forest together, each striving to be the fastest, and how Adela would inevitably outrun all of the Sentinels and warriors, and would be waiting for them back at the training house with a smile on her face and cold water for each of them to drink. She would laughingly point out that they had all been beaten by a woman, to which there were good natured groans and lamentations. But being beaten by this particular woman wasn't a disgrace, or in any way upsetting. Everyone knew that Adela was the fastest and strongest of them all, and trying to keep up with her was the best way for them to strengthen their skills.

Max listened with rapt attention, enjoying the stories and anecdotes that Gavin told her, and comparing them to the jovial, good-natured woman she had grown up with. She'd never known how strong her mother was, or how much she had been and still was respected by the Sentinels and warriors in their pack. It lessened a bit of the grief over her death, though now Max wished she had been more interested in training when her mother had offered. It would have been nice to have some of those same memories of her that Gavin had.

"Listening to you now makes me wish I had trained with Momma when she'd offered. I was never interested in it then, but now, I think it's something I'd enjoy."

"I can train you," Gavin offered. "I train a lot of the new Sentinels now. I'm not as good as your mom was, but Alpha Rhys says I'm getting close."

Max wrinkled her nose at the mention of their Alpha, but shook it off and grinned at her mate. "Would you? That would be fantastic! I'd love to train with you."

Now they were both grinning, and Gavin couldn't help the urge he had to reach out and taste that smile. They'd already shared two or three quick kisses, but he wanted a longer, deeper taste of her mouth. But he wasn't sure if she would accept it, and he didn't want to scare her away by being too forward too fast. So, he settled for lifting his hand and tracing her lower lip with the pad of his thumb. It fascinated him when her cheekbones became flushed with delicate color, and it just made him want to kiss her even more.

"You are so lovely," he told her. "This is going to sound incredibly creepy, but I used to watch you."

"Why?" she wanted to know. "And why didn't you just come and introduce yourself to me? At least I could have started getting to know you before now."

Gavin shrugged. "I wanted to. I wanted to get to know you, and I wanted you to get to know me, but I was under strict orders from the Alpha not to go near you until you turned 18 and were ready for the mate bond."

Max shook her head. "I still don't understand that. Other wolves get to meet each other before they're ready for the bond. Why not me?"

"I don't know, sweet one. I just know that I had orders, and as a Sentinel, I had to follow them. The Alpha doesn't always tell me why he wants me to do something, and I learned early in my training never to questions his decisions or orders."

It still didn't sit well with Max, but she didn't blame Gavin and she wasn't about to go beat down the Alpha's door to find out. Maybe later, after she'd settled in with her mate and gotten accustomed to this new life, then she would seek the answers to her questions. But for just now, she was content to let things be.

Gavin interrupted her thoughts by saying, "I wonder how Teagan is faring with Jessica's parents."

That statement pulled Max's mind from her musings, and she giggled a bit. "Jess' parents really are great, but she's their baby girl. Her dad is going to grill Teagan something fierce. He's not exactly the 'hurt my daughter and I'll kill you type,' but he'll certainly leave that impression."

Gavin couldn't help but laugh at that. "I feel like I should go check on him later tonight, just to be sure he survived the ordeal."

Max nodded thoughtfully. "That would probably be a good idea. Didn't the Alpha ask you to go over there tonight to go over schedule issues and to get some dessert? You could stop and visit with Jess and Teagan afterward."

"Don't you want to go visit Jessica, too?"

"Well sure I do. But I'm not going with you to the Alpha's, so I won't be with you to stop at Teagan and Jessica's."

"I can come back here and get you before we go see them, silly girl," he teased gently, touching her nose briefly with the tip of his index finger.

"Oh. Okay then. If you're sure you don't mind...?"

"I'm sure." Gavin stood and stretched, then smiled down at Max. "I'd actually forgotten that the Alpha wanted me to come by this evening. Are you hungry? We can eat dinner before I head out to see him."

"I'm starving," Max groaned. "I didn't eat anything before the ceremony because I was so nervous." To back up her words, her stomach chose that exact moment to let loose with a rumbling growl that made her blush up to the tips of her ears.

But Gavin only laughed and took her hand. "Come on, then. Let's eat."

They left Max's little apartment and went back to the front of the main house, where Gavin opened the door for her and lifted his eyebrows teasingly. "Shall I carry you over the threshold?"

Rather than laughing as he'd expected, Max gave him a saucy little grin and tossed her hair back over her shoulders in a way that set his blood on fire. She teased back, "If you think you can lift me."

"Challenge accepted," he murmured, and had just enough time to see Max's eyes go wide with surprise before he pounced on her and scooped her up into his arms bridal-style. Grinning when she yelped in surprise, Gavin bared his teeth and pretended to growl at her while nuzzling his nose into her neck, mimicking the big, bad wolf carrying off his prize.

Max shriek-laughed at his antics and shoved at his shoulders playfully, trying to get him to put her down. But then she got distracted by the feel of his muscled shoulders under her hands, and her laughter died away as she ran her palms over what she could reach of his shoulders, chest, and biceps, marveling over the sculpted planes of his body. The playfulness quickly became desire as she felt his warm breath on her neck, right where he would place his mark on her to claim her and show the rest of the world that she was taken. May the Moon Goddess help her, but she wanted that mark on her neck. She wanted to belong to him, and for him to belong to her. She'd never wanted something so badly in her life before.

But it was too much, too fast, and desire quickly turned to panic. Max shoved more earnestly at Gavin's shoulders, craning her head away from his touch and begging, "Put me down!"

The desperation in her voice cut through the playful banter, and he was quick to put her down, making sure she was steady on her feet before dropping his hands and stepping backwards away from her. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Max shook her head. "You didn't scare me," she assured him, stepping closer and eradicating the space he'd put between them. "And I don't want you to move away from me like that. I was enjoying it, the teasing and playfulness and all. But then something changed, and it wasn't playful anymore, and it just seemed like it was too much, too fast. I just need time. That's all."

Gavin felt guilty, though, and kept his hands behind his back, his eyes downcast in shame, not trusting himself to touch her again. "Okay. I can do that."

Max narrowed her eyes at him, even knowing that he couldn’t see her. "You're being distant," she accused.

"I don't want to scare or hurt you."

"You didn't scare or hurt me! Like I told you, I just need time before we jump into the physical side of things. I like the teasing and the playing and the joking and the laughing. You're being distant, and I don't like that," she told him insistently.

"But..."

"No buts!" Max barely resisted the urge to stomp her foot at him, but she did hold out her hand for him to hold, making sure he could see the gesture even though he still refused to look at her. "Come back here."

Hesitantly, he reached out and took her hand, then let out a surprised yelp when she repeated his action of earlier in the day by using their connected hands to pull him closer. Unable to resist her, Gavin smiled slightly and wrapped his arms around her waist when she pulled him closer for a hug. Through his smile, he teased gently, "Jeez. You know, you're just as demanding as your mom was."

Rather than being reprimanded by his statement, though, Max sounded quite proud of herself when she answered, "Thank you!" Then she confirmed her pride by saying, "I take that as quite a compliment, given all the wonderful things you had to say about my mom."

Gavin only smiled again and led the way into the house. “Come on, you. Let’s get dinner. What are you in the mood for?”

Max shrugged and offered, “Something edible?”

“Very helpful. Thank you.”

Gavin’s sarcasm made her giggle, and she just shrugged at him again. “What? I like food.”

“Nothing wrong with that. Just means I can try all different recipes and have you test them for me.”

“Works for me!”

“For now, how about tacos? I have ground beef in the fridge, and all the veggies to top it with.”

Max nodded eagerly, and followed Gavin into the house. “Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked, not wanting him to think he had to wait on her.

“No, I’m good for now. But you being here with me and keeping me company is awesome.” He gestured to the table, indicating that she should sit down. “Actually, if you want to cut up the veggies while I cook the meat, that would be a big help.”

“Sure!” Max was eager to help and share their first meal together.

“Great! There’s a cutting board and butcher knife by the sink. I’ll get out the veggies and put them on the table.”

They worked together in companionable silence for several minutes, the sound of the knife hitting the cutting board and the sizzle of the beef in the frying pan the only sounds between them until Gavin cleared his throat. “So, I was noticing that you don’t have many clothes. Is there a reason for that?”

Max blushed slightly, but shrugged, though she refused to meet his eyes. “I don’t need much,” she said quietly.

“So it’s a personal choice, and not because your foster family was a pile of s**t?”

“….yes…?” she tried, giving him a small smile.

“Yeah, I’m not buying that. What do you say you and me go on a date tomorrow? It’s Sunday, and I don’t have another Sentinel shift until Monday evening. We can spend the day together, get you some new clothes, shoes, and whatever decorations you want for your room and bathroom. Maybe we can see a movie and go out to eat. What do you think?”

As he spoke, Max froze completely, her eyes wide, just watching him move around the kitchen as he spoke. When he stopped talking, he waited for a response, but after several minutes of not getting one, he turned around to face her and see what was wrong. “Max? Are you okay?”

“I…. I…” she couldn’t get the words out, though, and just continued to stare at him. Finally, she swallowed hard and told him, “It’s been so long since I was able to get anything new. Especially something I wanted. Are you sure?”

“Max. Honey. Come here.” He turned the stove top down to low and opened his arms to Max, who came over to him and immediately fitted herself against his chest and buried her face against his neck. As she breathed deeply, Gavin rubbed his hands up and down her back, comforting her in the best way he knew how and taking comfort from the embrace himself. “Of course I’m sure. I wouldn’t have offered otherwise.” She still didn’t say anything, and he worried that he’d upset her somehow. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Shrugging, she mumbled into his shirt, “I’m just not used to anyone being so nice to me. Jessica’s parents tried, but any time I came home with something new that they’d bought for me, William and Melissa would take it away and give it to Taylor. They would go through my room while I was at school, so I couldn’t even keep anything hidden for myself. I just… I don’t know how to feel about going shopping for new things. I have this fear that something bad is going to happen and everything good I’ve found today will be taken away from me.”

Gavin held her tighter and promised, “Nothing is going to be taken away from you ever again. You deserve to be happy, and you will be taken care of the way you should have been taken care of this whole time.”

“I’ve felt so worthless for so long, I don’t know if I deserve to be happy.” Her voice was so quiet, he almost didn’t hear her, but when he realized what she had said, Gavin’s heart shattered at her feet and he tightened his arms around her, wanting to hold her tighter. He wished he could take away the pain of the last five years for her.

“Max. No! How could you think that?” Gently, he pulled her head up from his chest and tucked her hair behind her ears, then pressed a soft, loving kiss to both of her cheeks, her forehead, and the tip of her nose – eliciting a small smile from her – before gently kissing her lips. “I vow to you, here and now, Maxanne Reynolds, that I will spend the rest of my life trying to show you just how very much you do deserve to be happy.”

Rather than console her, as Gavin had hoped, Max burst into tears, buried her face against his shoulder, and quickly soaked the corner of his shirt where her cheek was resting. He tried to ask her what was wrong, but she only shook her head and sobbed louder.

“What did you do to mate?!” Rowan demanded angrily. “You made her cry!”

“I don’t know!” Gavin insisted desperately, his heart breaking at her shoulder wracking sobs.

“Fix it! NOW!”

“I’m trying!” Desperate to find out what he’d done to make her cry so hard, Gavin held Max tighter and begged, “Please, please tell me what’s wrong! What did I do?! Whatever it was, I’ll fix it. I promise!”

In between hiccupping sobs, she managed to say, “You didn’t do anything wrong! I’m just so happy!”

“She’s happy?” Rowan’s confused voice matched the expression on Gavin’s face. “Why is she crying if she’s happy? I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I, man. Neither do I.”

Eventually, Max’s sobs died down and she stepped away from Gavin with a sniffle and her cheeks and eyes reddened. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, attempting to wipe away the tear tracks from her face. “I haven’t really been able to cry for the last five years. Every time I got sad, William and Melissa would scream at me to be quiet, that my sadness was ruining their happiness. So I guess I just really needed to vent and cry.”

“At the risk of upsetting you, can I ask why being happy made you cry?”

Far from upsetting her, Max laughed so hard that she doubled over, and it was another few minutes before she could compose herself enough to answer him. “Honestly? I’m not sure. You’ve never been so happy that you cried?” When Gavin shook his head in the negative, she shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s a female thing? All I know is, I’ve never felt so safe or happy, especially in the last five years. My foster family made me feel like I was nothing but a burden. A heavy, unwanted, useless burden. I’d forgotten what it felt like to feel wanted, and I suppose it was the trigger that released all of the emotions I’ve had to suppress for so long.”

Gavin shook his head and pulled her back into his arms, making her laugh quietly once again. “I still don’t fully understand, but as long as you’re happy and I haven’t done anything wrong, that’s all I need to know.”