Of Beasts and Wolves

She stood outside the long, low building for a while, watching people go in and out and letting the gentle breeze play through the ends of her long brown hair. She’d been standing there for at least 10 minutes, postponing the inevitable. Eventually, she knew she would have to go down the slight hill and join her packmates, but for just that moment, she wanted to revel in being alone. It was probably the last time she would ever truly be alone again. After today, her life would be irrevocably changed, and she would probably be bound to one person for the rest of her life, joined by a bond that was so strong, only death could sever it. Most wolves were excited to meet their mates at the ceremony. The gods knew it happened every year, and every year, the victory cries of those who had successfully found and claimed their mates would ring out across the valley, and like clockwork, 10 months later, there would be an influx of newborn wolf cubs. But the last thing she wanted to do was mate with some meathead wolf and wind up being nothing but an incubator for his pups. She had plans for her life, dammit! “Stop moping, you big baby,” her wolf, Beryl, snarled in her head. “You know how this works.. That’s just pack life.” “I’m aware of that,” the teenaged girl snarled back, eyes rolling toward the heavens, “but that doesn’t mean that I have to be happy about it.” “No, it doesn’t. But it’s better to simply accept it than to fight. You know what happens to wolves that resist the mating bond. You don’t want to be banished from the pack and forced to go rogue, do you? Doing it on your own is one thing. Having it done to you is another story entirely.” Groaning and tipping her head back to allow the breeze to better wash across her flushed face, the girl muttered, “I hate it when you use logic like that.” “I know.” Max could feel the way Beryl smirked and settled back, secure in the knowledge that she had, once again, prevailed. Now certain that Max wouldn’t do anything too stupid, Beryl was content to shift to the back of Max’s mind and allow the girl to muddle through the rest of it alone. For now. As much as she hated to admit it, Max knew that her wolf was right. And, it was probably a good thing, too, because Max would have simply packed her bags without a second thought and run away a long time ago without the nagging of the ever-present Beryl. “Max!” Jerking her head up, she spotted Jessica, her best friend, standing outside the packhouse, one hand on her hip, and her other hand held up over her eyebrows to shield her vision from the sunlight as she looked around for her wayward friend. Huffing out a deep breath, the girl called Max squared her shoulders and started down the hill toward where her friend was waiting outside the pack meeting house. Spotting her, Jess grinned and sprinted over, her long legs eating up the distance and her large chest bouncing with every step. Max rolled her eyes before grinning back. She loved Jess, truly, but did the other girl really have to be so perfect in every way? Max was more than aware of her own shortcomings, but next to Jess, she felt like a fat, stumpy shrimp. That wasn’t Jess’ fault, of course, and she was the only wolf in the pack who hadn’t shunned her. Max and Jess were the only two in the pack that weren’t pureblood wolves. It was rare that a wolf would take a human mate, but it did sometimes happen. And once the bond was accepted by both parties, it was extremely difficult to ignore. Max’s parents had done their best, but the pack wasn’t thrilled about humans living among them, and generally shunned the whole family. Max didn’t mind though, as she preferred her solitude to the idle gossip and pointless chatter of the other female wolves her own age. Jess was the one exception to that preference, ever since Max’s mom had died during a hunting expedition, and her dad had been put to death per pack law. Jess’ parents were both still living, so Jess wasn’t as shunned as Max, the orphan, was. Plus, with Jess’ bubbly personality, bangin’ body, and gorgeous face, she was generally well liked by everyone and widely popular with most pack members. Max had no doubt that there would be several young male wolves vying for Jess’ attention at the ceremony tonight, each hoping they would be her mate. Of course, no wolf under the age of 18 was allowed into the ceremony, so Max didn't know exactly what happened there, but she had heard stories. She had a feeling that there would be no shortage of interested parties hoping that the mate bond would spark between themselves and Jessica. She was beautiful, smart, quick-witted, funny, and anyone who met her instantly fell under her spell and wanted to get close to her. Somehow, Jess managed to have a lot of acquaintances, but only Max was allowed into her circle. “What are you doing out here all alone?” Jess wanted to know as Max reached her side. “The ceremony is about to start!” “I know,” Max said, tipping her chin up to look at Jess’ face. “I just needed to breathe and clear my head…and…. Well, you know.” She gestured vaguely around her and finished, “I wanted to enjoy what could be the last few minutes of solitude I’ll ever have.” Jess rolled her eyes, but fell into step with Max and linked their arms together. “Only you can make something as exciting as the mating bond ceremony sound like a death sentence.” Max frowned a bit and glanced up at her friend. “I’m just not especially looking forward to being humiliated in front of everyone when no one even wants to try to activate the bond with me.” Jess bumped her shoulder against Max’s with a cajoling smile. “Come on, Max, you don’t know that. After today, we won’t be kids anymore. We’ll be mated and claimed, and we can start our own families and raise them right. Teach them how not to be a pompous, racist, asshat who…” she glanced down at the brunette and trailed off, a sheepish grin creeping across her lips. “Oops,” she chuckled quietly, “Sorry.” Shaking her head at Jess, Max grinned anyway over her friend’s mini tirade against the people who had belittled and looked down on them their whole lives. It was an old song and dance between the pair: Jessica wanting to stay and live out her days with her pack and thus being more affected by the indifference the rest of them showed, and Max intending to leave and never look back, and thus not caring what anyone else thought about her. Still, the knot in the pit of her stomach refused to go away, despite her friends antics, making it difficult when she tried to reassure Jess by half joking back, “Technically, we’ve been adults for a few months now.” While she and Jess were both ‘half-breeds’ and considered to be lower life forms to the rest of the pack, at least Jess was pretty enough to make the issue of her diluted blood less of a detraction. For Max, though, it was another story entirely. She wasn’t ugly by any means, but her long brown hair, honey gold eyes, plain but pleasant features, and small, plump stature were nowhere near as striking as Jess’ short blonde hair, green eyes, and curvy figure. Rather than continue to argue about it, though, Max allowed Jess to propel her toward the building where her life would most likely change. Just before they crossed the threshold, Max felt an odd tingling along the back of her neck, strong enough to make her stop in her tracks and pull Jess to a halt beside her. There were several surprised grumbles from behind them as wolves slid to a sudden stop to avoid bumping into them. Ignoring the angry glances and muttering, Max stepped to the side and turned slightly, craning her neck around to scan the tree line on the hill where she’d recently been standing. She thought she saw the dark shape of a person duck deeper into the shadows, but she couldn’t be absolutely certain. She watched for another moment or two while Jess looked on in confusion. Finally deciding that her nerves were shot and were making her see things that weren’t there, she shook her head at her friend’s bewilderment and forced a smile before apologizing and explaining, “Sorry, I felt like someone was watching me.” Jess just shook her head again. “We’re on pack territory. Someone is ALWAYS watching. Remember? That’s what our sentinels DO.” Tugging at Max’s arm, she gestured impatiently to the quickly filling pack house. “Come ON, before we have to sit in the back and neither of us finds our mates.” Knowing how important the ceremony was for Jess, Max nodded and followed the blonde to their seats. She smiled and responded appropriately to her friend’s excitement, but Max was only half listening. Her thoughts kept going back to the odd tingle she’d felt outside. She’d never felt anything like it before, and part of her hoped she would never feel it again. She had heard stories of wolves feeling a bond trying to form before they’d even met their mate. If that was the case, it would explain why none of the male wolves she’d met before had ever approached her. They could sense the mating bond already trying to form, effectively putting a “DO NOT TOUCH” neon sign above her head. But that didn’t make any sense either, because she’d already met every male wolf in the pack and never once felt anything for any of them. But, she realized, it was a mystery that would have to wait for another time, as the lights in the large room began to flicker, thus indicating that the ceremony was about to begin. Max looked over and caught Jess’ glance, trying to return the encouraging smile she was given. She was NOT looking forward to the fiasco she was certain was about to commence, but as the lights dimmed further and the first group of young wolves was called up to the front of the room, she was able to relax into her seat and watch the proceedings with a curious sort of detachment. Even Beryl was blessedly silent. That peace didn’t last long, however, as Max soon felt that tingle along the back of her neck once again. Shifting in her seat, she tried to ignore the sensation for as long as she could, but eventually, as the last few teenaged wolves were paired off, she couldn’t stand the feeling any longer and whipped her head around to see if she could pinpoint the cause of the tingling. The lights were too low to allow her to really see anything with clarity, however. Even after she turned around to face the front of the room again, the feeling that she was being watched simply wouldn’t go away. She squirmed in her chair a bit, hoping to distract herself, but every time she began to relax, that tingle would show up again. Finally, having grown irritated with Max’s inability to sit still, Jess leaned toward her and whispered, “Will you please sit still and try to relax?! You’re starting to make me nervous!” Max shrugged and gave her friend and apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I just feel like I’m still being watched. The back of my neck keeps tingling, and it’s super weird.” Rather than being concerned, as Max had hoped, Jess’ face lit up with excitement. “Oooooh!” she squealed, then glanced around when she was shushed by nearby wolves. Dropping her voice back down to a whisper, the blonde suggested, “Maybe it’s your mate that’s watching you!” Excited at the prospect, Jess craned her neck around, searching the seats behind them for who might be watching Max, but she, too, failed to see who it might be. Slightly disappointed not to have discovered who her friend’s would-be mate was, Jess slumped down in her seat with a little pout, but perked up quickly when she saw that the last of the teenaged wolves in the first group were leaving the stage. Most of them had been successfully paired off with their mates, and from the giggles, grins, and dopey looks on most of their faces, there would be another crop of wolf pups born in about 10 months. Max shrank down further into her seat as their pack alpha took his place on stage and began calling up the next group of young wolves who hoped to find their mates today. Some of them would leave without being paired off, as it sometimes happened. Max hoped that she would be among those who were looked over and not mated. She didn’t want a mate, and especially not if it was one of the wolves who had stood idly by and allowed her father to be killed without even trying to speak for him. Even though she knew that her pack hadn’t done anything wrong, and they’d been acting according to pack law, she didn’t feel that it had been ethical or fair of them to essentially murder her father right after she’d just lost her mother, simply because he was human and not a wolf. Max had never managed to forgive those involved, and generally tended to stay away from the full-blooded wolves as best she could. Even though her parents had told her what might happen, and no one had ever hidden anything from her – the law had been discussed in front of her many times so that, in the event that something like that might happen, Max wouldn’t be surprised – it had still been a major blow to her reality. And on top of that, she’d then been ‘given’ to another family of wolves to be watched over until her 18th birthday. They hadn’t been mean or cruel, but they already had their own children, and watching another one – who wasn’t even a full-blooded wolf – grated on their sensibilities and sense of righteousness. They hadn’t been loving or caring or even understanding, and she’d been left alone to grieve the loss of her parents at 13 years old. It had been a crucial time in her life, and she’d lost both of her parents within the same day. To say that that loss had had a profound impact on her teen years and development was a massive understatement. Thank the gods for Beryl, who had come to her then and comforted her as she’d so desperately needed. And now, watching the Alpha on stage, that same old resentment began to bubble in her chest again. Taking deep breaths to calm herself, Max was so focused on calming her racing heart that she almost missed Jessica’s name being called to go to the front of the room. It was her turn to find her mate. Letting out a small squeak of excitement, Jess scrambled out of her seat and nearly tripped over Max’s feet. Laughing now, Max pulled her knees up to her chest to get her feet out of the way, then leaned up to hug Jess before she could run away. “Good luck!” she whispered, just before Jess turned. “Thanks!” The smile that lit up Jessica’s face was both beautiful and brilliant, and Max was glad to see it. She truly hoped her friend would meet her mate today and be as happy as they’d always talked about. As Jess and the others took their places on the stage, Max found her apprehension turning to excitement. Not for herself - she still wanted nothing to do with the mating bond - but for Jess, who had been looking forward to this day for months. The teenagers of their pack all attended the same high school, but it had been broken up and separated so that the boys were all on one side of the school, and the girls were all on the other side. Even the teachers taught their own sexes. The goal was to limit contact, and not give the teens and their overactive hormones a chance to interfere in the mating bond prematurely. It had happened in the past where two wolves would sleep together before they’d turned 18, thinking they were mates because of passion and chemistry, but when the mate bond actually began to form, they found they were NOT mates, and wound up being rejected by their true mates. It was a nasty process for those rejected, and usually resulted in death or - worse - insanity for the wolf who had suffered the rejection. Wolves were meant to be in packs, and in families within that pack, and for a wolf to be rejected by their mate was akin to ripping the heart from their chest. And a body can not survive without a heart. In an attempt to avoid any such occurrences from happening again, the alpha had broken the school up to prevent any mingling of the teenaged wolves that wasn’t supervised by an adult. It had worked so far, and to Max’s knowledge, there had been no such unauthorized matches or rejections in her lifetime. There were rumors and stories, of course, but nothing more. “You’re afraid of your mate rejecting you?” Beryl questioned, having seen the thoughts that flitted through Max’s mind as she imagined being rejected. But Max didn’t need to answer. The terror in her head was enough. “Your mate won’t reject you. He can’t. It will hurt him too. Besides, he doesn’t even know you. He’d have no reason to reject you.” Max just rolled her eyes and stayed silent. He'd have plenty of reason to reject her, and everyone knew it. She was a halfbreed, and not even a very pretty one, according to her packmates. At least Jess was pretty enough to lessen the sting of her mixed heritage. As though thinking about her had conjured the leggy blonde, Jessica walked onto the stage to take her place on the girls' side, her eyes darting hopefully amongst the males crowded across the stage from her. And more than one pair of eyes turned hopefully toward Jessica. Invested in the outcome now, Max sat forward in her seat and watched the proceedings with excitement. At first, nothing happened. Then the older unmated males - those who had not found their mates among the young wolves - stepped forward and moved closer to the women's side. They moved as a pack, striding forward, strong and proud, and Max couldn't help but to admit that they certainly made an enticing sight. A few of the males broke ranks and loped toward the group of girls, reaching into them and each one pulling forward the girl he felt the bond with. They stood together for a moment, long enough to give them both a chance to reject the bond. Usually, the female would rush into her male's arms, relieved at last to have found her other half, but sometimes, the males reached out first. Either way, it was usually only moments before each pair had accepted the bond and exited the stage together. Some of the wolves - male and female - didn't find their mate in the first round. The second round was the new group of males, the youngest of the pack who were now old enough to find their mate. More of them broke off the pack this time with their claimed female, all of which were quick to accept the bond. The third round was the older females and the younger males. And the fourth was all four of the groups intermingling. By that point, there were only 2 or 3 wolves left from each group on the stage. None of them were disheartened, though. They would simply try again next year at the mating ceremony. Or the year after. Or however long it took them to find their mate. Max wanted no part of it herself, but as she watched the excitement grow on Jess' face as one of the older males had reached out to her, she couldn't help but find herself somewhat jealous. A large part of her wanted that. She wanted the bond her parents had had. She wanted someone who would love her for her, someone who would look at her and think she was the most beautiful woman alive. It was never going to happen, judging by the way her packmates had always treated her. The teenagers were the worst, of course, but even the adults hadn't exactly been friendly. She couldn't imagine that any of them would actually want a mating bond with her. Even if she did have a mate, she was certain they would rather reject her than accept her. So, Max had settled herself on the idea of never having a mate, and had planned to live among the humans. Maybe she could even find someone to love there. It wouldn't be the same as having a mate, but it would be enough to satisfy her. Jess absolutely beamed with excitement and happiness as her already-smitten mate rushed to her and took her into his arms. Max clapped and giggled gleefully to see the joy coming off of her friend. She wanted to rush to her friend, to congratulate and hug her... but she couldn't. She had to sit there in her hard, uncomfortable seat and watch the next two rounds of wolves be called up to the front. Startled when the lights turned back on, expecting at least one more round and her own name to be called, Max frowned in confusion and glanced around at the empty seats around her - earlier filled with she-wolves her own age - before it hit her. They weren't even going to let her try to find a mate. They considered her so undesirable that they just assumed no one would want to be mated to her. Angry tears welled, and she gripped her knees to her chest, fighting them back so no one would see her cry. "This is so stupid!" she muttered to herself, secure in the knowledge that none of the adult wolves were close enough to hear her. "I don't even want a mate! Why am I so angry?" "Because you do want a mate, i***t," Beryl said gently. "All wolves do. We're familial creatures. We aren't meant to be alone." Max's angry sniffle was the only response. "Besides, take comfort in the fact that you never planned to stay here anyway. Now you have no reason to stay, and every reason to leave." Sniffling again, Max used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe the tears from her face. Waiting until all of the adults had filed out, she finally stood and made her way out of the packhouse, her earlier anger abating slightly and leaving her mostly exhausted. All she wanted to do now was get home to her little attic room, ignore the family she lived with as much as they ignored her, and sleep for a couple of days. After that, she'd pack her meager belongings and strike out on her own. But first, she had to decide what she was going to say to the pack Alpha to inform him that she was leaving the pack and going to live on her own. She didn't anticipate any disagreements or arguments from him, but she was still nervous. Approaching the house she'd been living in for the past 5 years with the family who pretended like she didn't exist, Max slowed down slightly as she spotted one of the Alpha's Sentinals standing in her path. Curious, she walked toward him, wondering if he would step around her, or let her bump into him, or what. He spoke before she reached him. "Maxanne Reynolds?" he asked. "Yes?" she answered, pitching her voice to sound as bored as his. "Alpha Rhys would like to see you in his office." Taken aback by that, Max's eyebrows shot up toward her hairline. "Oh?" Dammit, she'd meant for that to come out as more of a statement, rather than a question. Clearing her throat, she tried again. "Oh. Um... okay. When?" "Now." "But I..." "Now." The male wolf didn't give her a chance to question him again. He reached out and curled his fingers around her bicep, then began walking her toward the building that housed the Alpha's office. "I don't suppose you'd tell me what this is about?" she asked hopefully, nearly stumbling over her own feet as she struggled to keep pace with the much taller wolf's long strides. As she'd expected though, he remained silent and continued half pushing and half pulling her along. "You know," she tried, "the least you could do before you manhandle me is buy me dinner." If nothing else, she figured the sarcastic remark would earn a response. But no, the Sentinal just kept moving, not speaking, not meeting her eyes, and certainly not laughing. "Jeez, Mr. Scowly-Scowl. Do you ever laugh?" "Shut UP, i***t! Stop antagonizing the Sentinal!" Beryl raged inside her head. "Oh, quit worrying," Max scoffed back. "He's basically ignoring me. Nothing I say is going to..." She was cut off abruptly when the Sentinal jerked open the building's door, nearly slamming it into Max's nose. She stepped out of the way, but only just barely, and then just barely caught the hint of a smirk on the Sentinal's face. "I told you to quit antagonizing him!" Max just rolled her eyes this time, but she held her tongue as she was dragged through the halls and then shoved into a room, the door slamming shut quickly behind her before she even had a chance to register what the inside of the Alpha's office looked like. Whipping around to stare incredulously at the now closed door, she couldn't help but toss her head a bit in indignation. "Prick," she muttered quietly. "I'm sorry about him," came a voice from the shadows, making the girl whip around once more to face the room at large. "He wasn't meant to be so rough with you. I'll have a talk with him." Assuming it was her Alpha who was speaking, Max dropped her gaze. "It's okay," she said quietly, eyes glue to the toes of her dirty sneakers. "I'm used to it. Almost everyone treats me like I don't exist. He must have been annoyed and repulsed to have be so close to me." Stepping out of the shadows came her Alpha, a tall, proud man who carried his age and his weight well. He was known to most as a fair man, quick to laugh, slow to anger, and even slower to forgive. But to Max, he would always be the man who had ordered her father's death. "I'm actually glad you called me here," she said, wanting to get it out of the way and hoping to tell him of her plan to leave before he could banish her. "I wanted to..." "There is someone here who wishes to meet you," Alpha Rhys said quietly, effectively cutting her off. "I will leave you alone to get acquainted." Glancing up, Max realized that the Alpha hadn't been alone in the shadows. He'd been speaking quietly to someone else that had, up until now, remained hidden from her. She hadn't even realized the other person was in the room until now. She kept her eyes on the dark shadows in that corner of the room until she heard the door click shut softly behind her and the shadows began to move. And as soon as he stepped forward, Max knew what he was going to say. She could feel it, tingling under her skin and racing along her nerve endings. "Hello, Max," the stranger said quietly, stepping forward with a small smile on his face. "My name is Gavin. I'm your...." "You're my mate," she whispered back, and couldn't help the way her breath came quickly as his smile grew, nor the words that slipped out in her shock. "Well, shit."