Finding Home

Sisters

Elyse

The sound of the doorbell wakes me up first thing in the morning. I stretch my arms over my head while I listen to my parents’ voices downstairs greeting someone. I don’t hear the tell-tale signs of Juniper arriving, so it must be my sister, Alissa.

With no one coming upstairs, I probably could fall back asleep for another thirty minutes but I know I should get up to help prepare for this afternoon. I sigh and push off the covers, climbing out of bed.

I catch my reflection in the mirror, my dark hair is a mess around my head and my eyes look tired. After some light stretching, I go into the bathroom and start the shower. While I’m waiting for the water to warm up, I brush my teeth and listen to my sister moving around in her old bedroom that shares the bathroom with my room.

About ten minutes later, I join my family downstairs in the kitchen. My mom is pouring a cup of coffee for my dad, who is sitting at the table with Alissa when I enter the room. Mom gives me a kiss on the forehead as she passes me on the way to deliver the coffee.

“How did you sleep?” She asks.

“I slept fine,” I reply.

“What time did you come back? I didn’t hear you come in..”

“It was around 1 am, not too late. What time are Jerrod and Thea getting here?”

“When we talked on the phone last night, he told me they’d be getting here at 10 am.” She glanced up at the stove clock. “So they should be here in another thirty minutes which will be perfect since breakfast should be over by then.”

“You don’t have to make me anything,” I tell her.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m making all of us eggs and toast at least.”

I shrug and pour myself a cup of coffee, though I add so much sugar and milk to it that my dad likes to joke about it.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help, mom?” Alissa offers from the table.

“No thanks, hon.”

Dad looks up as I sit down at the table between him and Alissa. “Morning, sweetie.”

“Hey Elle, how’s school?” Alissa greets me.

“Classes are good. Clinical rotations are twelve hours long now, so that takes up a lot of my time lately. I can’t wait to be done and start working soon.”

She nods. “I remember my senior year of the engineering program, I felt the same way.”

Between Jerrod and Alissa, I have a closer relationship with Jerrod and his family. It is easier with Jerrod because he’s a nurse like my mom and knows what I’m going through in nursing school. Alissa tries to relate but it’s not the same, even though I’m sure engineering is no walk in the park it is different.

Dad and Alissa talk about some engineering related news and I listen absentmindedly, waiting for mom to join us at the table. When she is almost done cooking, I decide to get up and help her with the dishes. I carry over the plate full of eggs and toast, along with a stack of plates and forks. Mom grabs the condiments after she is done putting the pan and spatula in the sink.

Once we’re all settled in at the table, breakfast passes quietly. Afterwards Dad and Alissa clean up the kitchen, leaving mom and I to pack up the party supplies we’re taking over to the event center. It doesn’t take long to fill up mom’s car and she suggests I ride along with Alissa rather than driving alone in Dad’s car.

Mom uses the winter roads as an excuse, but from the look on her face I can tell she thinks this is the perfect opportunity for me to pump Alissa for information. With a sigh, I go inside to let Alissa know.

Surprisingly, Alissa seems almost happy about us riding together. When we get in the car, I try to make conversation.

“How has work been for you?”

“Not bad, I’m working at dad’s office now. I don’t mind it but I don’t think I’ll stay there forever.”

“Do you see each other a lot there?”

“Sometimes, I’m in a different department to avoid any conflicts of interest but occasionally we will be in the same meetings or overlap on a project but that’s the extent of it.”

“That doesn’t sound bad. I still don’t know how your job works, but you seem happy with it, right?”

She laughs quietly, “Yeah, I like designing new equipment and all the work that goes into it. It keeps me stimulated.”

“Cool, what about outside of work? Anything exciting happening?”

Alissa glances at me out of the corner of her eye, before turning her attention back on the road.

“Not really. Did mom put you up to this? She has been acting like a mother hen lately…”

“What I can’t be curious about your life?” I’m slightly offended. I mean, she isn’t wrong and we aren’t close but I’m still her sister. I should be able to ask about her life without an ulterior motive in her eyes.

“I guess you can be, it’s just not something we normally talk about.”

“I know we haven’t always been close, but I still want to know about what you have going on. Honestly, mom did ask me about you but I won’t tell her anything you don’t want me to.”

“I appreciate that. I’m sorry if you feel like our relationship has been distant. I know I haven’t really made that much of an effort to be a part of your life in the past.” Alissa frowns.

I shrug, not sure what to say in response. As we were growing up, Alissa was always involved with different activities, had her own friends, and didn’t seem to want anything to do with me. She was close with Jerrod because they were twins but other than that, she could have been an only child for as much time as she spent time with me.

When I was much younger, it hurt my feelings that my older sister never wanted me around. Over the years though, I came to expect it from her and accepted our relationship for what it was; barely existent. I didn’t expect our relationship to become something more, especially now as adults with even more things to separate us.

Our lives were so different and the only real connection we had was our family. I didn’t see why it would change at this point. I didn’t consider that she might want something different now that are older.

The silence stretches between us for a few minutes before Alissa speaks up again. “I know I’ve been a bad sister and I understand if you don’t want to have a deeper relationship with me now. I just wanted you to know, I’m aware of the way I treated you growing up and if I could go back in time to change it, I would but I can’t. I can only try to make up for it now. If you want that, at least.”

I nod at her. “I don’t know if we can ever have that kind of relationship, but I’m not opposed to trying to get to know each other better now.”

We’re pulling into the parking lot now and when she puts the car in park, Alissa leans over the console to give me a side hug. I’m surprised for a moment, but I return her hug and we get out of the car to help mom and dad bring the supplies into the event center.