Finding Home

Mommy Dearest

Helena

My room is a mess, I can’t find my camera bag anywhere. Mom and dad are waiting for me in the car and with each moment that passes I can feel my mom getting more irritated with me. If there is anything she hates, it is being late. I sigh and give up the search, I was hoping to help my cousin Layla with photographing today but if I take much longer I don’t know what mom is going to do.

The morning has already been rough. Mom has been following me around and re-doing almost everything I’ve touched. Including, packing the car. I’m not kidding, she pulled everything out and repacked it. I swear it looks exactly the same as how I packed it but no one can tell mom she is wrong.

I’m walking down the hall when I see my camera bag sitting on the coffee table. I don’t know how it got there but I’m suspicious that mom thought she was “helping” me by getting it out of my room. Dad wouldn’t go in my room without saying something and I certainly didn’t leave my camera in the living room. I roll my eyes and throw the strap of the bag over my shoulder.

I turn my key in the lock and walk down the driveway. I can see mom staring straight ahead with her brow furrowed and dad looking down at his phone to avoid any conflict. When I open the car door, mom immediately starts in on me.

“It would be nice if we could ever leave on time.”

I roll my eyes and before I know it, the words are flying out of my mouth. “It would be nice if someone didn’t go in my room and take my camera without telling me. Maybe we would have left on time if I hadn’t needed to search my room from top to bottom for it.”

Dad grimaces and I know I should have shut my mouth.

“If you would have –,” Mom starts but she is interrupted by dad.

“Why don’t we all take a deep breath and calm down? It’s been a stressful weekend and tensions are high. I’m sure that we’ve all said things we wouldn’t normally.”

I blink slowly and breathe through my nose. I’m tempted to reply with a shitty comment but instead I keep my lips firmly pressed together and try to clear my mind. Poor dad, is always caught in the middle of us whenever mom and I fight. Realistically I know my mom is just anxious and her behavior has nothing to do with me, but it’s hard to have everything you do scrutinized and picked apart.

To be fair, mom has been getting better about holding back comments and trying to keep herself from micromanaging. She used to be unbearable when I was younger. At least now she hesitates to “fix” something and I’ve seen her bite her tongue more than once.

Still, I’m only human and she is on my last nerve. Mom lets out a deep breath and dad pats her hand gently. We make eye contact in the rearview mirror and mom nods at me. It isn’t an apology but it’s something, I guess.

The drive passes silently after that and the tension in the car goes down. When we pull into the parking lot, I jump out of the car and go around back to help unload. Dad catches my arm and pulls me to the side.

“Why don’t you head inside and start taking pictures? Your mom is trying really hard to keep the peace but she is having a tough time. I don’t want you two to butt heads.”

“Okay, but she is just going to get mad that I’m not helping unload the car…”

“I’ll explain to her that I told you to go in and get started without us. Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle your mom.”

I raise my eyebrows at him but he just smiles and points to the building. Mom is out of the car now and I can hear her start to ask him where I’m going when I get to the door. I shake my head as her voice rises at the end of what she is saying but don’t stop moving. Dad wanted to deal with her so I’m not sticking around to take the brunt of her stress.

Inside, the building is nice and warm. I kick the snow off of my boots and walk into the main area of the venue where all the tables are set up. There is barely anyone here yet but I try to put that thought out of my mind rather than get even more annoyed by my mom’s attitude earlier.

There is a table near the front where I see Elle putting her sweater on the back of a chair and I make my way towards her.

“There you are, my mom was worried that you guys hadn’t shown up yet. Something about Aunt Tori always being on time.” Elle rambles in greeting.

“Oh yeah, that’s because of me. Apparently I should have known mom took my camera out of my room last night without telling me.” I roll my eyes and shrug.

“Sounds about right. My mom has been breathing down my neck today, too,” she reassures me.

“Where are Merit and Cait?” I ask.

“Merit is over there talking to my dad and Cait is around here somewhere. Last I saw she was talking to Quinn,” Elle replies, waving back at Aunt Abby, who is sticking her head out the kitchen door and gesturing to Elle. “It looks like mom wants me for something. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

“Yeah, I better get started on taking pictures since that’s my excuse for not helping with unloading the car.”

While everyone is busy preparing for the party, I snap a few pictures and help out where I can. As the guests start to arrive, I greet them and direct them where to go until my mom and dad take my place. I don’t miss the side eye my mom gives me, despite her fake smile but I try to ignore it and go back to taking pictures.

After forty-five minutes of taking pictures, Layla takes over and I’m able to mingle. I say hello to my extended family before going to sit with my friends. I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine and feel more relaxed now, this morning a distant memory.

I decide to make a pit-stop and sneak into the empty kitchen before anyone notices. Inside, I dial Weston’s number and am greeted by his smooth voice.

“Hey baby. How is the party going?”

“It’s going ok, my mom hasn’t turned into a fire-breathing dragon yet.”

Weston laughs out loud. “That’s always a good thing. What is wrong? I’m surprised you’re calling me right now.”

“Nothing is wrong, I just wish you were here and wanted to hear your voice.”

“Yeah, okay. I can tell when something is off with you. Don’t play.”

“I’m not playing. Can’t a girl miss her boyfriend?”

“I miss you, too.”

“Good, now tell me about your weekend so far.”

“Well, we were doing a training exercise that was timed and this girl, Maggie, beat everyone. Not just the women, but the guys, too. Some of the guys were pissy about it but it was so impressive, I can’t even be mad that I came in second to her.”

“Wow, babe. Good job. Maybe Maggie can give you some pointers.”

He chuckles, “Yeah, I’ll have to ask how she got through the course so fast.”

“Oh no, someone is coming. I’ve got to go. I’ll see you on Monday?”

“Alright, baby. I love you, bye.”

I tuck my phone in my pocket after saying goodbye and take the side door out of the kitchen, into the entry way as I hear the one I came in through open. From in the kitchen, I hear my mom talking with someone and let out a sigh. If she had seen me, I would have been dead.

By the time I get to the table my friends are at, everyone has already claimed a seat which leaves me sitting next to Quinn. I’m not sure what my friend sees in Quinn but he’s a nice enough guy and treats Cait well so I can’t complain. Actually, no nevermind, I will complain. Dude is boring as f**k and I can’t deal with him. I hope they don’t get married because I don’t know how much longer I can pretend to be interested in conversation with him, definitely not the rest of our lives.