Finding Home

Love and Marriage

Caitlin

Lena is explaining something about the ROTC program Weston is in to Quinn when Merit walks up to the table. Elle is off playing with her niece, so that just leaves me to greet him. Merit and I have never been super close but I can tell he’s pissed about something.

“Hey, I thought you were bringing your girlfriend to this?” I ask.

“I told her to leave.”

“Why? What happened?”

“She basically told me Trevor couldn’t possibly be my dad because he is black and I have fair skin. She told me I was overreacting but I don’t know. What she said and the way she said it just pissed me off.”

“Who does that? If she suspected there was more to the story she should have asked you instead of saying something like that.” I can see why he’d be mad, as someone who doesn’t look like their parents I went through similar situations growing up. For anyone with a diverse family, there are always people questioning if or how you’re really related and not always in a polite or sensitive way.

“At least I don’t have to introduce her to my parents now…”

“You didn’t want to before that, too?”

“No, I know they want me to have a meaningful relationship but I’m not ready to settle down and Whitney is just a fling. She’s not really the type of girl they expect me to bring home. You wouldn’t understand, you’ve been with Quinn forever.”

“I wouldn’t say forever…” Something about Quinn and the word forever in the same sentence makes me uncomfortable.

Before I can reply, Quinn looks over after hearing his name and smiles at me. I give him a tight smile in response.

Merit picks up on the awkward moment. “Trouble in paradise?”

“No, nothing like that. Everything is good between us.”

“Huh.”

I narrow my eyes at Merit. Whatever he thinks he knows about my relationship, he’s wrong. My relationship with Quinn has been more than okay. Aside from getting on each other’s nerves occasionally and the other night, we don’t fight or disagree about much. I just am not ready to think about forever yet, but that doesn’t mean anything.

Elle and Merit’s roommates have made it back to the table and we’re all listening to the toasts about enduring love for about twenty minutes before there is a break. Finally, the speeches are winding down but when my dad gets the microphone back from the last speaker, he stands up and walks it over to Quinn.

I scrunch my brows together in confusion. I have been dating Quinn for a couple of years but there is no way he knows my family well enough to be making a speech right now. I can’t wrap my head around what is going on then suddenly it clicks.

My eyes widen as I look around the table at my friends. Merit gives me a questioning glance and turns his attention back to Quinn. My head turns back and forth, looking for some escape. If this is what I think it is, I’m so f****d.

My hands are balled up into fists in my lap when Quinn starts speaking.

“Hi, many of you don’t know me but I’m Quinn. Cait and I met when we were sophomores in college. We were taking Women’s Literature together and I was so out of my depths that I had to ask Cait for help. Spending so much time together gave me the opportunity to get to know Cait and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. I was so relieved when she agreed to go on a date with me and I haven’t looked back since.”

I am actively sweating and completely miss what Quinn is saying at this point. I have no clue how to get out of this without causing a scene. It’s not that I don’t love Quinn, but we haven’t really talked about our future and this is coming out of nowhere.

Also who asks someone to marry them at their parents’ anniversary party in front of a huge crowd?! I reign in my panic and take a few deep breaths, allowing myself to refocus on what Quinn is saying.

“The last two years together have been the happiest I can remember and I can’t imagine my life without you, Cait.” Quinn gets down on one knee and fumbles with a small velvet box.

“Will you do me the honor of spending the rest of our lives together?”

Honestly when I glance around the crowd and see all of those eyes staring back at me, I almost faint. Instead, I do the only thing I can do.

With tears in my eyes, I answer his question. “Yes.”

Quinn slips a beautiful emerald ring onto my ring finger and stands to kiss me. I use his embrace to hide my reaction and collect myself. Obviously my parents knew about this, but what about my friends? Would they have told me if they knew? I’m not sure what to think. I am in shock right now and don’t know how to process what just happened.

The rest of the party passes in a blur. I spend most of my time accepting the well-wishes of other guests, while hoping that in a few minutes I will wake up and this will all be a dream. Unfortunately, I know it isn’t and I have no idea what I’m going to do now.

When I finally manage to get away from everyone, I lock myself in the bathroom and stare into the mirror. I don’t even recognize who I am anymore. If you had asked me before today, I would have said I was never getting married, but no. Here I stand. Engaged.

I don’t know how much time passes before someone knocks on the door, but it startles me out of my thoughts. Before leaving the bathroom, I splash some cold water on my face and practice my best fake smile. I don’t really buy it, but I hope no one is looking at my close enough to see the truth. Once I’m back in the dining area, I quickly make myself busy by helping clean up so I don’t have to talk to anyone else about my sudden engagement.

By the time we get home, I don’t have to pretend to be exhausted. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I’m awake long enough to wish I could wake up in a different universe before I pass out.