Finding Home

Buzz Buzz

The idea sticks with me through the rest of the lecture and my shift at the shoe store. By the time I get home, I’m no closer to figuring out what I want to do. I’ve been weighing the pros and cons since this morning and still don’t know if I should take the leap.

It’s settled when I open the dorm room door to Jenny and another random guy making out on the couch. I haven’t so much as kissed someone since my senior year of high school and that needs to change now. Looking around the room at anything but the kissing couple, I spot Samantha and Mia at the kitchen table.

They are doing their homework as if nothing is happening right next to them. Honestly, I’m not surprised at this point. Jenny has a new boy toy every week and we have stopped bothering to learn their names. In fact, we’ve made a game of calling the guys a different name every time we refer to them, whether they are present or not.

Jenny is fully aware of this and thinks it’s hysterical. She’s one of those people who manage to navigate a quasi-relationship without forming an emotional attachment. Jenny makes it look so effortless and I’m in awe of her. If only she could teach me how to do the same.

In my room, I open up the app store and search for BumbleBee. The app is still downloading when someone knocks on my bedroom door. From where I’m laying propped up on my elbows, I call over my shoulder, “Who is it?”

Mia pops the door open and sticks her head in. “Sam and I were wondering if you wanted to order a pizza with us?”

Before Mia even finishes speaking, Sam pushes the door all the way open and takes a seat at my desk.

“What are you doing over there, Ell-Bell?” Sam asks.

“Nothing, just messing around on my phone.” I try to hide the screen, but not fast enough.

“Oh, is that BumbleBee?!” Mia storms in, forgetting about the pizza for a moment. The bed bounces as Mia flings herself down beside me and rips the phone from my hands.

“It is!” Mia squeals with joy. “I never thought I’d see the day!”

Sam laughs out loud before pulling my desk chair over so they can both look at my phone together. I scramble into a sitting position and watch as they set up my profile. Before I know it they have entered my basic information and are looking through my photos. Thankfully there aren’t any NSFW pictures on my phone!

“What do you think of this one?” Mia tilts the phone toward Sam even though it’s my profile they are creating.

“I love it! Definitely that one, too!” Sam says, as she selects a selfie of me and Cait.

“Me too, it’s perfect,” Mia agrees.

They spend a couple more minutes choosing the top six pictures for my profile and then move on to the information portion.

“What are your interests?” Mia glances up at me, waiting for a response.

“Uhh…” I draw a blank. Why does this happen to me every time someone asks me to talk about myself. It’s like I don’t even know who I am and it’s bizarre.

“Don’t overthink it, it’s easy. You just select five interests from these categories.”

I take the phone from Mia and look through the options. For some reason this is much easier when I get to choose from a list of things. I scroll through my options and tap “crafts”, “book clubs”, “feminism”, “cooking”, and “badminton.” I’m about to go on to the next portion when Sam snatches the phone back.

“Okay, now moving on. We need to strategize when selecting the profile prompts,” Sam says cautiously.

“What does that mean?”

Mia and Sam share a brief look before they both turn to me. Mia puts a hand on my shoulder as if she is comforting me. “Oh dear, you’re lucky to have us helping you.” I roll my eyes in response to that.

“You need to consider what you’re putting out there. You want to showcase the best parts of you. Make it seem like you’re really a catch, you know?” Sam explains.

Mia cringes and quickly adds, “Not that you aren’t a catch! Everyone does this. It’s like when you apply for scholarships. You want to make yourself look good without going over the top and coming off as desperate.”

“Right, no one wants a desperate clinger trying to get their attention.” Sam nods sagely.

“I think I understand what you’re saying.” I’ll let them do whatever they want with my profile and then change anything I don’t like later. It seems like the easiest way to deal with this situation right now.

After answering a few prompts like “after work you can find me…” and “if you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life what would it be?” the girls write a bio and finally give me back my phone.

“Now, you swipe right on people you’re interested in and left on ones you’re not,” Mia explains.

“I’ve had a dating app before, it was the same thing.”

Sam lets out a relieved breath. “Oh good, well then hopefully you know what the red flags are for guys profiles.”

“Yeah, I think I can handle it from here. Don’t you?”

Sam and Mia have another conversation with their eyes that ends with Mia shrugging.

Sam reluctantly backs off. “Fine, but only because we agreed to study with Chad and Dylan tonight.”

Mia puts her hands on Sam’s shoulders and pushes her towards the door. “We expect a full update tomorrow.”

“That means we get to see who you swiped right on and what kind of messages you get!” Sam comments over her shoulder before Mia pulls the door closed.

I let out a sigh and fall back onto the bed. That only lasts for a minute before curiosity gets the better of me and I open the app to see the profile the girls created. Surprisingly, I don’t even cringe once. They did a good job and just maybe it will pay off.