Chapter 1: The Perfect Girl's Secret
LEAH
My fingers fumble with the music sheet while they kiss goodbye. I shouldn't watch, but I can't help it. Maxon's got Raya pressed against his Range Rover, his hands sliding under her cashmere sweater like he owns her skin. Which seems so at this point.
"You'll miss your game," Raya purrs, but she's not pushing him away. Never pushing him away.
My throat closes up painfully. I should be practicing the hymn for Sunday's service, not standing here like some creepy tag-alone friend while the golden couple puts on their usual show. Dad's voice echoes in my head: The flesh is weak, Leah. But you're stronger than temptation.
Yeah right, Dad. Tell that to my racing pulse.
Maxon's tongue traces Raya's neck, and the sound she makes... Lord, have mercy. Literally. I'm gonna need so much mercy for the thoughts running through my head right now.
"Gonna miss you, baby," he murmurs against her skin. His voice does this low thing that makes my thighs clench, carefully making sure I don't get wet on the spot.
The team bus honks twice while he reluctantly pulls back, running his fingers through his messy dark hair. His jersey stretches across his shoulders in a way that makes me forget every single one of my father's sermons about modest thoughts and the eyes being the doorway to the heart.
"Text me when you win," Raya demands, straightening her sweater.
He smirks. That devastating, arrogant smirk that's starred in way too many of my midnight fantasies. "When, not if? Such faith."
"Please. You never lose."
No, I think bitterly. He doesn't. Not at hockey, not at life, and definitely not at getting everything I'll never have.
He kisses her one last time, hard and possessive, before grabbing his gear bag. As he turns, his eyes slide past me like I'm part of the flower beds decorating the yard. Just like another campus statue. Less interesting than the trees.
I clutch my sheet music tighter. Tomorrow's choir practice suddenly seems very far away.
*****
The party pounds through my bones as I climb the stairs to Raya's second floor. My head's spinning from the two shots she forced on me earlier, something expensive that burned going down. The bass is softer up here, more of a heartbeat than the earthquake it is downstairs.
Rich kids and their stupid parties. Even their handrails feel expensive under my palm, probably imported from some forest where unicorns poop gold or something.
I need to find Raya and get out of here. Dad's going to kill me if I'm late again, and I still have that hymn to practice for tomorrow. Though after what I saw this morning, Maxon's hands were all over her, his mouth on her neck. I'm pretty sure I've got enough sin on my conscience already.
The second floor is quieter. Almost peaceful. Weird how you can spend so much time at someone's place and still feel like a stranger. Like how I never noticed that painting before, or the way the carpet feels too soft under my boots.
And that's when I hear it.
"Oh God... yes... right there..."
I freeze mid-step. That's definitely Raya's voice, but different. Raw, growling like an animal.
Maybe she's filming another one of those workout videos she's always posting? The ones where she pretends to struggle while looking perfect in matching gym sets make even models look on with envy.
"Harder... please..."
That's... that's not a workout video.
My hand finds the doorknob before my brain catches on. The metal's cool against my palm, solid and real. I should walk away, start praying or do anything except this.
But my fingers already grasp the knob and ready to see what I wish I could unsee.
