whatever She needs
1222 Words
*Faith*
I never planned to tell him, yet having told him, it feels as though a great weight has been lifted. I don't know how long we simply sit there, but it's comforting to have his arms around me, to feel his warmth surround me. Although it's August and hot, a coldness had seeped into my bones when the memories bombarded me, a coldness his kiss had obliterated.
Unlike the one before, this kiss is tame. Like the one before, it has him on a tight leash. I feel the tremors coursing through him as he holds his needs at bay. He has handed the reins over to me, allowing me to determine the depth, the direction, the pace our joined mouths will follow.
Eventually, I slip my pants, shirt, and boots on, wrap a quilt around my shoulders, and we begin walking toward the cabin. Without a word, he takes my hand. I squeeze it as I brush my shoulder against his. The familiarity of him is reassuring in its intensity.
When we reach the cabin, he says, “I don’t want to leave, Faith. Memories were stirred up tonight, and I know how vivid they can be in sleep. I want to be here for you in case you have a nightmare, need comforting. I can bunk down in Dee’s bed.”
I have never been all by myself through the night. Until I and Dee moved into the cabin, I had lived in my parents’ home. Always there was another presence. Although earlier I had welcomed the peace, suddenly I don’t want to be alone. “I would like that.”
While he tends to his horse, I go inside, put away the quilts and what is left of the whiskey. I’m not drunk, far from it, but I am a little more relaxed.
When he walks inside, the entire place seems to shrink with his presence. He fills the room, but not in an intimidating way. He is simply bold and confident, a man who could be tough one minute, gentle the next. I tilt my head toward Dee’s room. With a nod, he strides into it. I follow and lean against the door jamb.
With a sigh, he bows his head. If I had it within me at that moment, I would laugh. Instead, I simply smile. My daughter’s bed isn’t much bigger than Dee is.
Without turning around, he glances at me over his shoulder, a wry grin marking his features. “I reckon it will be the sofa.”
I bite my bottom lip, shake my head. “My bed.”
He does turn then. “Faith?”
“Just hold me. I need that.” I tell him.
He nods. “All right.”
My smile grows. Always a man of too few words.
Not bothering to change into my nightgown, I climb into bed, curl on my side, and watch Cooper glancing around the room.
“You added curtains,” he says unnecessarily.
“I didn’t like the notion of someone peeking in.” After Cole, I have looked at the world differently, seen all the various ways I could feel violated.
He wanders over. The bed dips with his weight as he sits and begins tugging off his boots.
“It’s hot. You can take off your shirt.” I tell him.
“You will be comfortable with that?” He asks.
I nod, “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wouldn’t be.”
He pulls it over his head and tosses it to the foot of the bed. After lowering the flame in the lamp, leaving just enough light so we aren’t in total darkness, he stretches out on the bed, raises an arm, and tucks a hand beneath his head. It's such a masculine pose.
Easing over, I snuggle against him, placing my head in the hollow of his shoulder. He brings his arm around me, holding me tenderly.
When I drift off to sleep, I dream of him holding me like this every night for the remainder of my years.
*Cooper*
"Do you kill Berringer?" I ask.
By the time Faith and I get to the house, Chase is in his office, looking over some papers. Faith joins her mother and Dee for breakfast, but I need a word with Chase first.
The man who raised me leans back in his chair, plants his elbow on its arm, and strokes his forefinger along his mustache. "She told you."
I give a brusque nod and repeat my question. "Did you kill him?"
Chase gets up, walks to the marble-topped table, lifts a decanter, and pours whiskey into two glasses. Despite the early hour, I take the one Chase offers me.
"He was still breathing when I left him. Barely." I down the contents. "Don’t think I wasn’t tempted to put a bullet in him. Instead, I told him if I ever saw him in these parts again, I would. I let him ride out."
"Do you know where I can find him?" I ask.
Chase shakes his head. "Even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you. The last thing Faith and your ma need is to see you strung up for murder."
"I could do it without getting caught." I say.
"You have never killed a man. I have. It’s not something to be done lightly. I have put word out about the man. I get reports on him from time to time. He won’t be courting anyone else’s daughter." Chase says.
That’s not enough. If I ever cross paths with Berringer, I will see to it the man draws his last breath.
I toss back my whiskey, set the glass on the edge of the desk. "I love Faith."
Chase stands still for a few seconds, then nods. "I know."
"Not like a sister, not like a friend. I’m going to be where she needs me to be, and if that means I’m not sleeping in this house to be honest, Chase, it’s none of your damn business. What happens between Faith and me is between Faith and me." I say.
Another nod. "For what it’s worth, I would be damn proud to call you son-in-law."
"I don’t know if it’s going to come to that. I’m not quite sure how Faith feels about things or if it’s something she wants, but regardless, no one is ever going to hurt her again."
*****
I have avoided courting or getting involved with anyone because my heart has belonged to Faith for the longest, but I have always felt too broken for her. But now she is broken, too, and I'm determined to see that she mends. If in the end, it takes her away from me, carries her into someone else's arms, I will find a way to survive. All that matters is that she is well and happy.
So, I ask my mother to let Dee stay another night, and I tell Faith that when we are done for the day, I will meet her at the cabin, that I have something special in mind. I make all the plans, am quite pleased with how they have turned out.
The one thing I hadn't counted on was the rain that hit just before I got to the cabin.
- Writer
