So Wrong, Not Right

Adrienne Miller smiled thoughtfully while sitting in her balcony. She has just finished unpacking her clothes and putting all her furniture in place. Her new apartment is clean and tidy and shows every bit of her personality. From every vase, to every painting and every jar. She just loved it. She was very tired having spent the rest of day tidying up her new haven, but she was contented. She didn’t ask the help of her friends in decorating. She has employed the services of an interior designer. She gave them a budget and a contemporary them, and told them that she preferred the colors red, beige, white and brown. She preferred nature and abstract paintings, and elegant, silver and glass vases. She was quite happy with the results. She intends to have her friends over in the next weeks and she was proud of the delivery of her interior designer. She paid her a fortune but she thought that she only need to do it once. And what is an expensive apartment if it didn’t look exactly the way you want it to? Finally, she was able to mortgage her own place. It was not cheap but it was everything she ever wanted. The area is quite classy and it is just five blocks away from her office. It has a big balcony, where she has placed four steel chairs and a glass outdoor table. It’s got a big living room, a mini bar, two big bedrooms, her own full bath, and walk-in closets. It was enough for her. It was expensive for a two-bedroom apartment, but the moment her broker showed her this place, she knew this is where she would live. This is where she might be spending the rest of her life in. And as per her friends, this is where she will weary away her virgin years. Yes. She was twenty-six years old and still a virgin. She just felt that the time is not right yet. She has a boyfriend. Although they have been together three years, they do not see each other every single day. For her, he was a wonderful guy. He was a gentleman. He never suggested they go to bed together and she was thankful, because she knew that when she does go to bed with a man, it would have to be an intense experience. Something she doesn’t want to forget for the rest of her life. So, the moment and the person had to be right. She wouldn’t go to bed, just for the sake of losing her virginity. Her boyfriend, Troy, is going to medical school with her older sister, Kimberly. His parents were friends of hers. They met at a party. He was cute but not really handsome with his blonde hair, and dark brown eyes. Her friends thought he was plain. She thought she didn’t need a handsome boyfriend who will only fool around with prettier girls. “Come on, Adrienne.” Her best friend, Yuan, once told her. “You really should think better of yourself. I think there are better fishes in the ocean.” Her friends thought that Troy was too plain and too properfor her. They seem to believe that she deserves someone grander, someone with energy, and more importantly, someone with better looks and a sense of humor. Troy on the other hand, can’t tell a joke and can’t accept the simple deviations in human behavior. He doesn’t even know that she smokes like at least a pack a day, and that’s not even counting the times her boss breathes down her neck. “He’s like the fireman who will always water your fire!” Her other best friend Jill said. “You have a wilder spirit than you’d like to think. Having a guy who puts a stopper to all these flair that you have will not help you spread your wings wider.” But Troy was going to be a surgeon one day. Her parents were both doctors. And her sister is going to be one as well. She was the odd one out. So she figured, if you can’t be one, then marry one. And her mother was perfectly happy with her relationship with Troy. As far as she can remember, it was the only time she made her happy. She had a broken relationship with her mother. She never remembered having her love. She grew up with a mother who always takes the side of her elder sister. She grew up trying her best to win her over… even for just once. But she never did. Not even when she got into the best schools in the country. Not even when she graduated with honors. Her mother said… oh right, she said, “It’s not a difficult course.” She has a double degree in journalism and mass communications. She had a talent for writing. She was the only one in her family that has the knack for it. Her sister couldn’t put together a paragraph together. Her mother couldn’t understand the context of metaphors. She thinks that her father barely has a sense of humor. Her mother was excited to introduce Kimberly to Troy at that party. But it was she who took home the trophy. She didn’t even know what she did. She just stood there, looking bored. But Troy couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her. He tried to strike a conversation with her. He tried medical terms, she didn’t know any. He tried sports, she doesn’t play one. Then he mentioned CSI. Ahh… they have something in common. But while she dwelt on the action and he dwelt on the technicality of the show. He said that some scenes and findings showed there seemed too sophisticated to happen in real life. Her first reaction was Duh! You think too much! Her impression of him is that, he’s a dork, a nerd, who thinks he is above everybody intellectually, and he has the need to prove it all the time, in every conversation and every topic he discusses with strangers. She bit her tongue to keep herself from retorting, That’s why it’s a television drama, not a reality show, in front of her mother. Her mother must have really liked Troy, that it doesn’t matter which daughter he asks out. At first, she didn’t know what her mother saw in him. But she was too bent up on pleasing her that soon, she found herself enjoying Troy’s company. She did love him. She wasn’t sure it was really what she wanted but she didn’t have a boyfriend before and she was happy to indulge in his attentions. Since she worked in New York, she doesn’t see much of Troy. They often talk on the phone, but they only see each other once a month, sometimes, once in two months. Adrienne was looking for that feeling inside her that says she couldn’t stand a minute without him by her side. That thrilling feeling that she was supposed to feel when he is in New York for break or when she comes home and knows that he will be in town too, so she could see him, get her hands on him, get his hands on her… but it wasn’t there. No wonder she’s still a virgin. And she realized, maybe she just isn’t like Jill or other girls she has met, who were enjoying s*x and sleeping with men on the second date. Maybe she is old-fashioned and would rather wait and save herself for the right man at the right time. Her friends may think this is hypocrisy, or sour-grapping. But what can she do? She is dead curious about s*x. But she would rather explore it when the time is right. And the all-too-formal dinner dates she had with Troy, coupled with series of boring medical terms, which sometimes includes topics such as HIV and abortion, just don’t set the perfect mood to bring up going to bed together! And she’ll be damned if she ever makes the first move. She sighed. She realized that there is much more she could do with her life. There is much more that she wants to do with it. Getting this fancy apartment is the first step in asserting her independence and exploring on what shewanted to do for herself. Troy doesn’t exactly worship the land she steps on. He doesn’t approve of her job. For him, it too dull to be called a profession. But she loves her job, and she reckons that she is good at it. For Troy, on the other hand, writing falls short of what he can consider a real job. She shook her head. She was happy ten minutes ago. Now, she thought about Troy and her mother. Even if she showed them the place she is living in now, they would most likely not approve of her independence. For her mother, having a place as grand as this, will be a waste. She doesn’t exactly approve of New York, either. She thought it was too temporary. And if one is thinking of having a family, New York is not really an option. She looked at the balcony beside her. She hasn’t met her neighbors yet. Her balcony is huge. It extends from her living room to her bedroom. She is sharing a bedroom wall with her neighbor. Not only that, her bedroom window is parallel to his and there’s a huge platform connecting them. She figured, she needs to keep her windows locked all the time. Otherwise, if she got a r****t neighbor or a serial killer, she’s too easy a prey! She wasn’t happy about it at first. She thought that was the only thing that she didn’t like in this apartment. But she is hoping her neighbors will be nice. She always thought it would be great to invite and be invited over for dinners. It is always good to feel at home even when you just stepped into the lobby or elevator of your building. She scanned the steel chairs and glass table on the balcony beside hers. It is almost the same as hers. Good to know that she and her neighbor had the same taste. Only theirs were steel black. Hers was white. She noticed an abandoned bottle of Heineken and an ashtray half full of cigarette butts. She guesses that her neighbor was not a family. Therefore, no kids. No babies. Not that she doesn’t like kids. It’s just that it’s good to know that no one will complain if she holds parties or let her friends sleepover and Yuan decided to play Betty Davies Eyes over and over again. She put out her cigarette butt and went to her room. She has just taken one step into her room when she caught something out of the corner of her eye. Her neighbor went out. She was staring at a perfectly and gorgeously tanned torso with the perfect set of abs. His body was muscular, but they weren’t bulging. He’s got perfectly toned slender arms. He was staring at the New York city view, with a cigarette on hand. He was wearing only a pair of faded jeans. His hair was jet black and even from afar, she can see that his eyes were framed buy long dark lashes. Her breath caught in her throat. It can’t be! She knew him. He was… the city’s most wanted. The most notorious playboy, so to speak. Justin Adams. He was the prodigal heir of Adams Industries. Her father was a steel and mining magnate. Their family is filthy rich but instead of living in the shadows of his father, he was determined to draw his own map, his own future. He graduated with a double degree in Harvard, straight As, but made his father quite mad when he announced that he will not work for their company right away. Not only that, he spent a lot of working on his hobby, which is photography. He works as a freelance photographer for the magazine she is working for. That is how she knew him. He was a celebrity in Blush. There is not a single girl in her office who do not drool on him… well maybe just her. She finds him intriguing, yes. But she doesn’t understand what the fuss was really about. She thought those girls were overreacting. Even her best friend Jill can’t stop talking about him… like he is God’s gift to women… or finally there was one guy worthy of being called one. As she stared at his profile, she drew a deep breath. Okay. He really isn’t bad. No! She mustn’t kid herself. He is as handsome as the devil himself. Although, she can’t really say for sure without looking through his eyes, which were always covered by a pair of pitch black shades. But right now, staring at his profile alone, along with the toned muscles and the perfect set of abs… she thought that the fuss could actually be worth it after all. She shook her head. She didn’t go out of the terrace. Instead, she pulled a chair near the side of her sliding door, so she could have a view of him without him seeing her. She watched him thoughtfully. He just stood there. Made some calls for a while. He looked quite serious although she couldn’t hear what he was saying. Then he lighted a cigarette and just stared at the view thoughtfully… the same thing that she was doing fifteen minutes ago. After a few minutes, he put out his light and went inside his room. She looked over her window to see him go inside. He put on a white shirt, grabbed his leather jacket and then went off. She smiled to herself. She thought she’s going to love her apartment even more. * * * She was rushing through a deadline Monday evening. Jada, her boss was on her back. She was making an article about a newly-opened restaurant in Fifth avenue. The food was not so great, and the price was not so cheap. The service was a bit unorganized. She ordered for piñacolada, and twice she was given margarita. She doesn’t want to be known around the block as a b***h who can shut down a decent restaurant, but she doesn’t want to compromise her professional point of view as well. She couldn’t concentrate on her work. The music from her neighbor’s house was far too loud, and the fact that he was on the balcony, playing poker with his friends, and she can hear him laugh makes it even harder for her. She sighed, and went out to the balcony and lighted a stick of slim lights. She noticed that they fell silent. She felt self-conscious. She took a deep breath. She’s a confident woman, and she has a boyfriend. Just because she thinks Manhattan’s rakes are surveying her long legs and her figure is not a reason for her knees to go jelly. Plus, she is dire need of a cigarette, and she doesn’t want to smoke inside her apartment. Her mobile phone rang. Thank God! She is also in dire need of a distraction now. “Hi honey, how are you?” It was Troy. “I’m grood…” She replied. “What?” Damn it! “I’m good. I said I’m good. How about you? How are you?” “Not too bad. I was out with Kim last night. She is my designated tutor now.” He chuckled. “She’ll be happy to help you. My mom likes you.” “And I’m a lucky guy, aren’t I?” “Hmmm…” Troy went on about his study date with her sister and she couldn’t quite concentrate on what he is saying. She’s hearing medical terms, and she doesn't need to know them. She’s got too much on her head… the awful food and restaurant, whose existence she was about to end in a few hours, and damn! She can’t seem to get a dark-haired devil out her mind. She groaned. “What?” Troy asked. “What are you doing? Are you with someone else?” “No. I’m alone!” She said. She must have sounded too defensive, because Troy didn’t believe her… and she wasn’t even lying. “Then you must be going out of your mind! Don’t take me for a fool, Adrienne.” He said sharply. “I’m not with someone, Troy. Please, give me a break. I just remembered this restaurant I was about to close down in a few hours because of an awful review I am thinking of writing and I didn’t want to do that. That’s why I groaned.” Troy fell silent for a few minutes. Then he said, “Are you sure?” She sighed. Then she put out her cigarette and managed to walk to her living room. Now, that she knows no one can see her, she found her focus. “Yes, I’m sure. Come on. Why do you always think I Lwould cheat on you?” It is true. She always felt that Troy doesn’t trust her enough. Like he didn’t know he was her first and only real relationship. Like he didn’t know she didn’t sleep around in college, and she was nobody’s groupie. When she was out with her friends and he can hear the background music, he would always ask her who she was out with, short of asking Jill and Yuan too to swear on dead relatives’ graves that there were only the three of them. At first, she thought it was pretty sweet that he shows her that he can be jealous and possessive of her because he wanted her only for himself. But recently, it is becoming too much for her to handle. She had to explain every single thing and make headcounts of friends she go out with. “It’s not that… it’s just… I don’t know. Let’s just drop it.” He said. And then he went on with his medical monologue. She thought she fell asleep on her couch listening to him. Then finally, he said goodbye. “Love you, hon.” He said. “Love you too.” She replied, and somehow, she asked herself if she still meant it. At the end of the night, she managed to write a not-so-bad review of the place. She highlighted their strengths, the great ambiance and the expensive china, but also mentioned that they could do better to be less angry with spices and salt and a smile on the waiters could raise the tips. . . . ......