CROSSFIRE

Nia’s POV “Smile, Nia. You looked like someone had died.” Carter's voice brushed against my ear, in a low and amused manner, like he hasn't just twisted my chest. I looked up at him, and like an i***t, my heart still softened. It was his birthday and the whole off-campus house was packed with his teammates, friends, girls in tiny dresses, music blasting out really loud, and blue-and-silver decorations hanging from the ceiling. Everywhere I looked, someone was laughing, drinking, or calling his name. People loved Carter Holloway and I had loved him longer than any of them. Since we were kids… since we scraped knees together, shared snacks and him pulling my braids just to make me chase him. To everyone else, Carter was my best friend. Yeah, it was the story we let the world believe, but in private, he would kiss me like I was the only thing that mattered to him in the world, he would call me his girl, make promises and tell me to trust him when he said he just wasn't ready for people to know. So I did. I forced a smile. “I'm smiling.” “That looked painful,” he teased, his eyes glistening. “It felt painful.” He laughed, not catching the truth in it, then stepped away from me just like that, walking towards Lila Hart. His staking partner. My fingers tightened around the untouched plastic cup in my hand as I watched him cross the room. Lila laughed at something he said, one painted hand pressing against his chest like a love sick. He leaned closer to hear her over the music, smiling down at her in that easy, intimate way that made my stomach knot. I exhaled out and tried not to overthink it. Afterall, they trained together and spent hours together. Of course, they'd be very comfortable. But that didn't explain the way she looked at him and it definitely didn't explain the way he looked back. He bent lower, their faces inches apart, and my chest tightened so hard that it hurt. My heart was slamming against my chest so hard that I looked away before I had to see if he kissed her and that was when my gaze caught on Knox. Carter's older brother stood near the far wall, one arm around a blonde in a red dress, his broad body half-shadowed by the lights. He looked exactly like trouble. Dark hair, sharp jaw, tattooed forearms, and those cold gray eyes that somehow always seemed to find me at every opportunity. And tonight? He was watching me again. My breath caught, and before I could stop myself, my eyes dropped. Big mistake. His hand was low on the girl's body, his fingers flexing against her hip and sliding lower that made heat rush straight into my face. Knox caught me staring and his mouth curved in a mocking half–smile. I jerked my gaze away instantly, rubbing off any stupid sensation that was crawling in my body. I didn't like him, I hadn't in years. At the start of college, something had happened between him and Carter. I never got the full story but Carter just said Knox had changed, gotten difficult and impossible. So I chose Carter's side and stopped trying to understand Knox’s and he stopped talking to me after that.. Except for the occasional look from him. When I looked back toward Carter, my breath caught because he was gone, and so was Lila. I stood there in the middle of the party, frozen while bodies moved around me like I wasn’t even there. Was this what relationships looked like in college? A boyfriend who acted like your best friend in public and your lover in private? A boyfriend who whispered that you were special at night, then disappeared with another girl at his own birthday party while you stood there pretending not to care? Carter always said I overthought things, maybe I was doing that right now. I hadn’t even slept with him yet. It wasn't because I didn’t want him. God, I had. But every time things almost went too far, I stopped him… I needed certainty. I needed him to be sure of me before I gave him that part of myself. “Damn, Nia. You looked way too good tonight to be standing alone.” I stiffened before I even turned. Darren, One of Carter’s friends. He reeked of beer and bad intentions, his arm sliding around my waist from behind before I could move. My body went rigid when he pressed himself too close.“Darren, stop.” He laughed into my hair. “Relax. I’m just being friendly.” His hand tightened on my waist, then went lower. I twisted hard in irritation, shoving at his wrist. “Get off me.” “Come on,” he slurred. “You’re always acting so untouchable. Carter wouldn’t mi…”He never finished. One second he was on me and the next, he was ripped backward. Knox had him by the collar. I had never seen someone look calm and furious at the same time. “If you touched her again,” Knox said in a low, deadly voice, “I’d break your hand.” Darren blinked, his drunken confidence draining fast. “Bro, chill. I was joking.” Knox stepped closer. “Run.” which he instantly did. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to steady my breathing and Knox turned to me. “You okay?” “I didn’t need your help.” One dark brow lifted. “Cute.” “I mean it.” “And I mean this.” His gaze flicked toward the hallway Carter had disappeared down. “You should’ve been more worried about your boyfriend.” My jaw tightened right that instant.“You didn’t know anything about us.” “Us?” he repeated, like the word amused him. “That’s what you call this?” My humiliation turned to anger. “He cared about me.” Knox stepped closer, his voice dropping under the music. “Then why were you standing here alone while he disappeared with another girl?” I hated that I couldn’t answer and he saw it too but he kept going right now f*****g filter. “That was always your problem, Nia. You made it too easy.” I stared at him. “What?” “You were always there. Always available. Always waiting.” His eyes were merciless. “Carter never had to work for you because you handed him everything.” “Stop.” “You wanted honesty, didn’t you?” he asked. “You were too dry, predictable and safe. Girls like you taught guys like Carter they could do whatever they wanted and still have someone waiting.” My hand flew over to his face before I could think and for one second, neither of us moved. “Go to hell,” I whispered, and walked away before I could see the reaction of his face. By the time I got back to the kitchen, I couldn’t breathe right. I looked for Carter and there was no one with the physique of him. He was supposed to be my ride home, and he left me anyway. I reached for a glass on the counter, desperate for something to numb the ache. A hand closed over mine before I touched it. “Bad idea.” I didn’t even have to look. “Leave me alone, Knox.” “You had a ride?” I remained silent until I heard his next words. “Come on.” “I said leave me alone.” “And I said come on.” Normally, I would’ve fought him, but tonight, I was too tired. So when Knox guided me out of the house, his hand light at my elbow, I let him, holding back the tears that threatened to fall down my eyes. The drive back to the apartment was quiet, rain tapping softly against the windshield while I stared out the window and tried not to fall apart in front of him. When we got to the apartment, he came around to help me out and I hated that my legs were shaky enough for him to notice. He finally let go of my arm..“You could do better than him,” he said quietly and I looked up, ready to say something feisty but he was already walking away. “Goodnight, Nia.” All I wanted was my bed, a locked door and a place to cry where no one could hear me. My fingers trembled as I unlocked the apartment and pushed the door open, but as I did, a moan cut through the silence. My body went still instantly. On the couch, Carter jerked upright so fast the girl in his lap nearly fell. And to my greatest surprise, it was Lila. Her skirt was bunched around her thighs. Carter’s hand was still on her bare leg. His shirt was half unbuttoned, his hair a mess, his mouth red and swollen from kissing. For one horrible second, I couldn’t breathe. Lila shot to her feet, face draining of color. “Oh my God—I didn’t know….” Carter stood too and he looked annoyed. “Nia.” The way he said my name broke something inside me. Lila grabbed her purse and rushed out, cheeks burning, leaving me alone with the boy I had loved for most of my life and the wreckage of every lie he had fed me. Carter sighed. He actually f*****g sighed. “You couldn’t knock?” I stared at him, my eyes widening in disbelief as a broken shaky laugh escaped from my lips. “Knock?” I repeated. “In my own apartment?” “Our apartment,” he corrected, already irritated. “And you knew I had people over.” I looked at the couch, his shirt rumpled and the lipstick on his mouth.“People?” My voice cracked. “That’s what you’re calling this?” His jaw tightened. “Don’t start.” “Don’t start?” I whispered. “Carter, I just caught you with her.” “And what exactly did you catch?” he snapped. “Huh?” I flinched and his eyes flashed. “You didn’t want to sleep with me, Nia. You wanted everything to be serious and perfect. I’m twenty, not some husband.” My heart shattered so quietly I almost didn’t hear it.“I loved you.” He scoffed. “Then maybe you should’ve acted like it.” I stared at him in disbelief at the man speaking these words to me. “I did everything for you,” I whispered. “No. You withheld the one thing that mattered.” The room went still and something cold and clear rose through my heart. “Then we’re done.” He blinked. “What?” “We’re done, Carter.” For the first time that night, he looked shocked, then angry. “You don’t get to break up with me.” A sad laugh escaped me. “I just did.” He took a step toward me. “After all this time? After everything I put into you?” My stomach turned at his horrible words. “You put me through hell.” His face twisted, ugly and cruel. He turned into a man I didn't know.“You know what your problem is, Nia? You thought being some untouched little saint made you special.” I backed away and he followed. “You acted like your virginity was some prize,” he sneered. “Guess what? Nobody wanted to work that hard.” My eyes filled with tears. “Carter…” “No. Listen to me.” His voice rose, unhinged now. “You wanted to keep holding out? Fine. Keep it. You’d die a virgin and alone before anyone put up with your attitude.”