A Season Without Her

One month before her wedding to Ryan Cross, Cynthia Lane made a decision she never thought she would. "Victoria, I want to cancel the engagement." She sat alone in the dim studio, the bluish glow of the monitor casting a cold light across her pale face. "What? Haven't you liked him for nine years? The wedding is only two weeks away. Why back out now?" Cynthia drew a slow breath, trying to steady the emotions threatening to break free. "It's nothing. I just… don't like him anymore." Victoria Lane was silent for a moment, then sighed softly. "Alright. I'll handle it for you." After ending the call, Cynthia reopened the video. Ryan and Chloe Wynn appeared on the screen, locked in a kiss. Cynthia had always known Ryan as a moderately well-known wildlife documentary director. His devotion to his work and the animals he filmed had always outweighed everything else. "In my lens, there's nothing but animals. Don't compare yourself to my work," he had said more than once. Yet the same man who claimed nothing mattered more than his career had created a ten-episode documentary entirely devoted to Chloe. Through his camera, Chloe was tender one moment, shy the next, playful at times, annoyed at others. Every subtle expression was captured with deliberate care. He recorded everything about her, including the moments they shared in bed. Cynthia stared at the screen as their naked bodies intertwined, a cold chill spreading through her veins. Ryan had once persuaded her to film similar intimate footage. That had also been the only time he told her he loved her. The memory struck like a red-hot blade, piercing straight through her chest. Her heart splintered, each shard embedding deeper than the last. Tears streamed down her face, but she felt too numb to wipe them away. Fighting the nausea rising in her throat, she forced herself to watch until the final frame faded to black. Only then did she finally understand. On the day of their blind date, she had carefully prepared a confession, rehearsing it over and over. But before she could speak, Ryan had interrupted her. "Let's get married." Those were the only words he said before turning and walking away. At the time, she had mistaken it for awkward sincerity. Now she knew better. Chloe had been at the same family gathering that day. It had not been a proposal. It had been a decision. Cynthia's face drained of color as she opened another file titled Cyn. The moment she clicked on it, she froze. Ryan's writing was astonishingly gentle—so gentle it felt unreal. The document read like a love diary, chronicling the years from their first meeting to the slow unfolding of their relationship. He had written about Chloe's favorite foods, her habits, the things she disliked. He had carefully recorded every place they had gone together, even the smallest details. After only a few pages, Cynthia felt as if an invisible hand had closed tightly around her heart, squeezing until it was hard to breathe. They had left traces of their love everywhere—in empty parks, in silent classrooms, at stairway turns, even the day Cynthia had gone to deliver documents to him. She had stood on one side of a door, while Ryan and Chloe had been tangled together on the other. A wave of nausea surged upward. She covered her mouth and retched. The deeper her love had been, the more unbearable the pain now felt. "My heart is a moon without light. Only when you appear does it begin to glow." Ryan had written three hundred thousand words of love diaries for Chloe. He had filmed a ten-episode documentary for her. For Cynthia, there was nothing. Not a single photograph of them together. She returned the files to their original place and was about to leave the studio when her phone rang. Ryan's friend sounded panicked. "This is bad. Ry's been seriously injured. He's at the hospital." Conflicting emotions churning inside her, Cynthia rushed there. Outside the operating room, she saw Chloe covering her face and sobbing. "I'm sorry… If Ryan hadn't tried to protect me, he wouldn't have been attacked. He wouldn't be hurt like this…" Chloe was crying, yet something in her expression made Cynthia sense a faint trace of satisfaction beneath the tears. "How were you with Ryan? Why was he protecting you?" Someone nearby quickly stepped in, as if afraid she might accuse Chloe. "Chloe is one of Ry's mentor's students. It's normal for senior and junior members of the same research group to film together." There were clearly things between them Cynthia had never known. Before she could press further, the operating room doors opened, and Ryan was wheeled out. She instinctively stepped forward. Chloe rushed ahead and pushed past her. "Ryan!" He slowly opened his eyes. When he saw Chloe's tear-streaked face, he gave a faint smile. "Alright. Stop crying. Anyone who didn't know better would think I'd died." Cynthia stood there, watching them exchange familiar words and soft laughter. It felt as if salt had been rubbed into an open wound. Soon the room filled with visitors. Only after everyone had left did Cynthia step forward quietly. "Are you feeling better?" Then, gathering her courage, she asked, "Ryan… next time you go filming, can you take me with you?" He was silent for a few seconds before giving the same answer she had heard countless times. "It's too dangerous. I wouldn't feel safe bringing you." Her voice trembled. "Then why do you always take Chloe?" A long silence followed. "She's my mentor's student. I'm just taking her along to learn." Cynthia inhaled slowly and said what she had come to say. "Ryan, there's something I want to tell you." He turned his back to her and interrupted calmly, "Whatever it is, you decide. I'm tired. I'm going to rest." Nine years. His heart had never changed, always surrounded by walls too high for her to climb. But this time, she was done waiting. Cynthia walked to a quiet corner and dialed a number. "Does your offer still stand? I want to join your round-the-world trip next month."