Can't Hate You

Party crashers

Sun

Blake was very funny. He made me laugh all the time.. but not like Dean made me laugh. Was it always going to be like this? Was I going to compare every person to Dean? Was I always going to be so attached to him? It seemed like nothing was functioning without him.. especially not me. It seemed like I was broken. He threw me out of my system.

I also got to know Moon's girlfriend. Well at least that’s what she seemed like. It was obvious that they didn’t label it yet but she was very nice and funny. She was beautiful and pretty confident but shy at the same time, just like me. That made us get close very soon in that short time. Moon got to know Blake and first I didn’t want to tell him that he was Dean’s brother because I didn’t want to judge him but I couldn’t hide it from him because he was going to find out about it anyway. First he was pissed and asked me how I could do that and what this thing between us was.

“First his brother, and now him? So quickly? What is wrong with you?” he asked totally mad. I knew what he was assuming. “Of course not! It’s a long story! Stop judging him! There’s nothing between us! Give him a chance!”. Of course we didn’t talk in front of Blake. That would’ve been very embarrassing.

First he was suspicious but he got to know him a little and then he liked him. He liked him because he was not like Dean. That pissed me off but I wasn’t going to kill his mood because it was his birthday. He was so damn lucky.

Then I remembered Chloe. “Moon did you invite Chloe?” I asked him very curiously and he looked up from his cup. “Yup. She said that she‘s probably over there.. somewhere.” he said pointing into a direction. I tried to find her in the crowd but couldn’t spot her. I wanted to go to find her but decided to not. For now. I wanted to talk to her and update her on what happened but it wasn’t the right moment so I was going to greet her later. I sighed and he turned back to his conversation with Skylar.

I started playing with the soft texture of my skirt. Blake lifted my chin with his fingers so softly that I barely felt his touch. “What's wrong?” he asked me with his raw voice and one of the cups in his hand.. I took a deep breath through my nose and tried to seem happy and positive.. but it was impossible.

“Dean..” I whispered but I knew that he heard me. I felt the tears in my eyes so I blinked them away. “I knew I should be mad at him and realize what an asshole he actually is.. or just hate him for being so rude all the time.. but I can’t.” I shook my head. “I don’t want it. I want him to come back because I need him. I miss him and I’m worrying about him. That’s probably so stupid because I deserve better than someone who treats me like this and all but-.. am I stupid?” I asked and almost had to laugh although I wanted to cry.

He looked down into his cup and swallowed. He furrowed his eyebrows and for a second I was really worrying about what he was going to say or what he was thinking. Then he shook his head and looked at me.

“You’re not stupid... You’re in love.” he said and I could see the honest in his eyes and a lot of more feelings. I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to hold my tears back. I didn’t want to cry but I was really emotional. “You’re so deep in love with him that you would forgive him everything because you want him to be alright.. you’re so positive that you want to fix everything.. you believe in him, hold onto him and don’t let go. You believe that you can change him.. and you already do..” he continued and a tear almost rolled down my cheek. I had to laugh.

“Do you think he loves me too?” I asked with a shaking voice and a painful smile. She looked into my face for a few seconds as if he was going to say that he was not loving me.. as if he was going to tell me that Dean really had no feelings at all and couldn’t care no matter how much he tried and that it all was fake.

“He does.”

Dean

I clenched my jaw. They were throwing a party. Frauds.. maybe because I finally left them and they thought I left forever. But that wasn’t possible. There was nobody except Sun who had to care or worry about me.. but Sun was probably also inside, dancing or having fun.. after she told me multiple times how worried she was. I prayed that it was not the case.. but what did u expect? That I would leave and that she would wait patiently but totally sad until I would come back? I could feel the anger in my chest. I was overthinking again..

The music was very loud and it seemed like the whole school was there. I entered their house for the first time.. it was incredible.. everything was so bright and positive just like Sun, not dark and black or grey like me or my dad. It seemed like it was a birthday party.. I knew that it wasn’t Sun’s birthday... probably Moon’s. I knew that he was going to make a scene as soon as he was going to see me but I didn’t care about that. I didn’t care about him. I was looking for Sun.. but the first person I saw was Moon but Sun was nowhere in sight. He didn't see me so I kept walking trough the crowd.

Sun

“You need to talk to him calmly when he comes back. Just sit down next to him and wait patiently until he starts to talk. Believe me that will help.“ he said and I leaned onto the kitchen counter. Moon and Skylar already disappeared in the crowd. “Yeah.. but only if he will talk. Or if he will listen..” I said rolling my eyes, knowing what kind of person he was.

“He has to listen! And if not then I'll listen.. but not here because it’s too loud!” he said and looked round. Suddenly he grabbed my waist, picked me up and threw me on over shoulder. I screamed about his sudden moves, especially because he caught me off guard. But I had to laugh.

“No! Blake! Stop!” I punched his back but he didn’t even care. “No! Blake my skirt!” I said totally worried because I was wearing a damn skirt. My cheeks were burning.. especially when I felt that how he pulled my skirt down to cover my bum.. “Sshh! Don't worry about that..” he said and he let his hand on my butt to cover it. I blushed so hard but I was glad that he barely touched me.. as if he was afraid of touching me..

He walked towards the stairs and I just laughed. “I swear if you let me fall..!” I wanted to threaten him but didn’t know how. I couldn’t because I had to laugh.. he laughed as well. “I'll let you fall on your bed princess, don't worry” he said my heart stopped. I gasped for air. Especially because he called me princess... I felt how my stomach dropped and how my body started to burn. That was not what I wanted.. but I knew I got it wrong because he didn’t have bad intentions. He didn’t mean it like that.. well that was what I wanted to believe because I knew that someone like him would never snitch on his brother like this..

When I looked up from his shoulder.. I saw Dean..

My heart started beating so fast out of nowhere.. I thought I was having a heart attack.. or seeing a ghost. As if he wasn’t real.. as if he was only an illusion. Something I wanted to happen for so long.. I put my hands on Blake's shoulders and lifted myself up. He was standing there with furrowed eyebrows. He seemed hurt and angry at the same time.. his fists were clenched..

“DEAN?!” I screamed looking at him eyes wide open. Blake let me down and turned around to him. I started breathing faster. Then I finally woke up and got out of my thoughts.. I ran towards him as fast as I could. It seemed like he was standing too far away from me and I couldn’t reach him no matter how fast I would run.. I never ran that fast in heels..

I wrapped my arms around him immediately as soon as I reached him.. and finally felt like I could breathe again. He didn’t seem hurt physically. He was okay. Maybe not emotionally but it seemed like he’s been safe. I buried my face in his neck and hugged him as tightly as I could. I smelled him in and pressed my body against his.. I didn’t want to let go again and for a second I thought he wasn’t going to hug me back but then he wrapped his arms around me and my feet got cut off the ground.

He was still really strained but he didn’t seem that aggressive anymore.. not so angry.. and I was glad that he wasn’t the angry Dean anymore..

Of course I was going to ask him about where he’s been, what he’s done and why he’s left in first place later. And I was going to yell at him. A lot.

He put his hand on my head in a protective way that made me melt.. a tear rolled down my cheek but I had to smile.. I didn’t think I would feel this good after seeing him again. I knew I would be glad but I didn’t think that I would feel this relieved.. this happy and soft.. and safe.. no matter what he did.

“Where have you been? I was so worried!” I said not letting him go. His grip tightened. My smile got bigger. I didn’t want him to let me go but he did.. he backed off and looked at me first.. and then at Blake who was standing a few steps behind us. He furrowed his eyebrows again and I knew that he was mad.. that made me worry.. but I knew that he saw us.. and that he got the imagine totally wrong. I would’ve got it wrong as well. I started panicking.

“What is he doing here?” he asked with a very rough voice. One of his hand was still on my waist.. I looked at Blake and then at him. “I'll explain you-..” he cut me off. “Seems like you two are getting along very well. Good that I left. What did he do to make you run into his arms?” there was it again.. that deep voice.. that fire in his eyes. My jaw dropped and I felt awful. How could he still be so stubborn and mad. “What? Dean that's-..” I couldn't continue my sentence. Blake came closer to us.. he sighed.

Dean

I wanted to punch Blake so hard.. Why was he carrying my girl upstairs? Why was he with her? What was he planning? But most importantly, why was she with him? Why did she spend so much time with him? Good they were looking for me but was this all really necessary? What did she expect me to do after seeing them like that. I knew very well what he wanted to do.. even if she didn’t get it.. if she was too blind..

I started breathing heavily. “Sun.. why is he here?” I repeated and she seemed overwhelmed and confused. Scared.. again.. I needed to calm down.. but I couldn’t while he was there.. “We were looking for you everywhere but we stopped because we thought you would like to be alone.” she explained. I could see that she was nervous but I knew that she was honest. I wasn’t going to get mad about what happened.. I wanted to warn her here and now.

I turned around to her and bent a little down so I could look straight into her eyes. She was worried.. confused.. “You don't know him.. he would never do that. He would never be so kind and care about you.. or me. He would never spend time with you.. especially not if he doesn’t want something from you.” I said totally serious. I’ve never been more serious before. She furrowed her eyebrows and clenched her jaw. She was getting angry..

“Dean what are you talking about? I was worried about you. Just like her!” Blake said. I couldn't help but laugh. He was still trying so hard.. faking so hard. His words were unbelievable. “You? Worrying about me?”. Of course I didn’t want an answer. I already knew it but he didn’t have to balls to say what he was really feeling right in front of her. I turned back around to Sun. “What did he do to make you come with him? Be honest, did he threaten you? Did he seduce you?” I asked and this time she was the one who laughed.

Sun

He still wasn't okay. Definitely not. He only wanted to destroy something. I couldn’t believe him. I was glad that he came back.. that he was here.. and he was worrying about this?

“He did nothing. He didn’t seduce me, he didn’t threaten me... What is wrong with you? Why are you doing this? He’s been so kind all the time.. he did nothing wrong until now.” I said totally disappointed.. he backed off and clenched his jaw.. “He was carrying you upstairs.. wake up. I know him way longer and better than you.” he asked coming very close again.. I got kinda scared of the way he looked at me and I hated feeling like my heart was going to leave my chest.

“I wanted to talk to her and it was too loud so I wanted to take her upstairs.” Blake said coming closer to get between us because he was worried but Dean pushed him away. It escalated quickly. “See these beautiful legs? They can move. Thank god. She can go by her own.. but you insisted in carrying my girl upstairs?” he was smiling like a creep.. it was going to escalate.. I started panicking. I needed to get them out of here but I didn’t know what to do.

No matter what happened, Dean was right. Blake’s move earlier surprised me as well and I didn’t want to get that close to him and I could understand how it seemed for Dean. I would’ve cut his head off if he would’ve done that with my -nonexistent- sister. So I needed to comfort him.

Blake took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. He was angry as well. It was obvious but he could control himself. “I was the one who took care of your girl while you left her crying at home.” he said lifting his head very proudly and my jaw dropped about his words. This wasn’t a contest..

All of sudden Dean punched him so hard that I thought he killed him. I screamed. A few people turned around to us and started watching us for a few seconds but then they turned around again because this was something normal. Something that happened at every party... The loud music covered everything up. “DEAN NO!” I grabbed his arm but he shook me off.

Blake looked at him eyes wide open. “WHY ARE YOU HERE?” Dean screamed at him and I answered. “BECAUSE I INVITED HIM!” I screamed. He didn’t want to listen. Blake’s nose was bleeding.. I didn’t know what to do. I was about to have my first real anxiety attack. “YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING LIKE ALWAYS!” Blake screamed. I was upset. He sounded so angry and broken. “I DON'T CARE! JUST STAY AWAY FROM HER!” Dean screamed back. “I already warned you once.. and I’m doing it one last time. Stay the f**k away from her or I’ll break your f*****g legs. I swear to god I will keep my promise.” Dean continued totally serious and a little more calm.. his words were spitting fire..

“You broke her heart. You upset and her and I was there for her!” he punched Dean back and my heart stopped. He tripped but didn’t seem affected. He walked towards Dean but I crossed his way and tried to stop him. I put my hands on his stomach and tried to stop him from walking.

“Please Blake! Calm down!” I looked straight into his eyes. He looked down at my hands and then up at my face. My chin was shaking and I was breathing way to fast. Like I ran a marathon. He stopped moving and just looked at me until Dean said “You shouldn’t even spend a second with her..” suddenly he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to himself. His grip was so tight it hurt.. I could see his veins..

“Better than leaving her alone like you did.. I was only trying to help.” Blake was right.. he just wanted to help.. but I could also understand Dean. That was not what he wanted to see as soon as he came back.. in that moment Dean's grip tightened and I screamed.

“YOU'RE HURTING ME!” I tried to get rid of his grip but he seemed frozen like that. He didn’t even hear me..

Blake was really angry.. I didn’t think I would see him like that because he was a calm and peaceful person in my eyes and for a second I thought he was going to punch him again but then he looked at Deans hand that was wrapped around my wrist. He calmed down a little..

“Let her go.. you're hurting her..” he said like that was all he wanted.. like he lost.. like he failed. Like he only wanted me to be okay and I was so sorry for him. “I can do whatever I want with her because she’s mine.” Dean said and I looked up at him. “Am I just an object for you?” I asked with a shaking voice and he looked down at me. “Not now.” he said.

Then I saw Moon coming up between all the people. His jaw dropped.. he looked at each of us and realized quickly what was going on. He didn’t need to know what happened before. It was obvious.

“You.. little.. bastard..” he shook his head and walked towards Dean. His voice wasn’t loud.. or calm.. it was threatening.. and warning. Really mad. “Let her go and f**k off.” he said raising a brow and looking at our hands. Dean let me go very roughly and approached Moon.. I started breathing even faster and my heart started racing.. I looked at the mark that his grip left..

“The f**k I’ll leave. I'm not here for you.” Dean said and I knew that everything was going to escalate.. Blake came towards me while they were about to explode. Totally busy with each other. “Sun.. I'm sorry. I'll leave now. I don't want to leave you alone in this situation but I'm making everything worse and your brother is here.. no worries..” he said very quickly and I was actually thankful for his existence in that short moment.

I could understand that he wanted to leave. This was very uncomfortable and stupid.. telling him to stay wouldn’t be necessary. It would make everything worse and I didn’t want to prove Dean something. “If he does anything stupid, one call is enough.” he added and I nodded. He left and I concentrated on the others..

“Do you really want her to see how I destroy your face?” Moon asked and Dean just looked at him like he was thirsty for his life.. but he already told me that he wasn’t afraid of him. To be honest I wasn’t sure what would happen and who would survive if they would actually fight because I knew that Dean had no mercy..

“Moon don't.. please!” I said looking straight into his eyes. He looked at me.. furrowed his eyebrows even more. I knew he was mad at me and he couldn’t believe me. Dean smirked.. he liked that. I was so pissed at him.. “Dean.. please go up to my room I'll be right behind you..” I said looking at him.. but I noticed how Moon looked at me. He couldn’t believe me. He shook his head. “No.. Sun..” he said quietly. It made him feel like I was choosing sides.. but that wasn’t true.

Before Dean walked past him.. he took another step towards Moon and said “Happy birthday.. Dalton.” with a very provocative smile and voice. He really loved making him freak out.. I hated him for that. Then he walked up to my room and I took a deep breath..

“Sun.. how could you..? I would’ve f****d him up if you would’ve let me..“ he said taking a step towards me. I knew he wanted to protect me but I needed to handle this on my own.. my eyes were wet.

“A lot happened.. I just need to talk to him. I'm sorry...” I said still shaking.. I knew he wanted to stop me but I knew that I needed to do this on my own. Fighting wouldn’t bring any of us forward. “I promise I'll explain everything to you..” I added while he still looked disappointed.. leaving him there like this on his birthday broke my heart. I hated that we ruined everything and I needed to make it up to him but first I needed answers..

No matter how afraid I was of Dean in that moment, how bad I felt for Blake and how sad I was to do that to Moon.. I just had to go up there.. I wasn't sure what was going to happen.. but I was ready for it..

Moon

I couldn't understand it.. it wouldn't make any sense.. she was still protecting him.. she was still being so stupid.. she was still trusting him and forgiving him every little shut. Although he hurt and scared her. She made me so mad that I wanted to explode. I couldn't do anything.. again...