Can't Hate You

Hennessy and heartbreaks

Sun

He was acting so weird... like he didn’t know what he was doing.. or more like he wanted to do a lot of things at once but didn’t know what to start with. I could see that he was annoyed, tired and pissed.. but there was more behind that and I didn’t like that.. “What happened to you?” I asked him after I backed off a little bit. He furrowed his eyebrows so I wrapped my arms around him.. he was cold.. his body and the way he was acting.

Dean

She was so warm... that she hugged me, hurt. I felt so broken. I couldn’t even explain myself why. I definitely refer to see a doc. “Everything is okay.. I’m just tired..” I said but my voice came out so quiet and more rough than I wanted.. “Dean.. as much as I can't lie to you.. you can't lie to me..” she said and I had to smile.

Sun

I backed off to look into his eyes but he pulled me very close and hugged me again. He wrapped his arms around me so tightly that I could barely breath but I enjoyed it. He picked me up like that. Squeezing my body against his. I chuckled when he laid down on his bed with me. He groaned and bit my neck. That made me scream and laugh. “Stop!” I said but he didn’t.. “I missed you..” he whispered I closed my eyes and enjoyed how he kissed my neck. “That fast..?” he made me melt. “Yeah..” his husky voice.. made me go crazy...

Kingston

She was there.. she was only behind this door that I was leaning my palm on.. a few minutes after they walked up, I followed them.. he locked the door but I just couldn't go away.. I just couldn't move.. my feet wouldn't move an inch.

I heard how she laughed.. I couldn't stop smiling.. she made me so soft and so happy that I wanted to cry.. knowing that she was so close.. broke my heart because I couldn't do anything.. yet. Dean could do anything he wanted as long as he was with her.

Sadly Blake had I had to leave. We needed to get some things done... We needed to meet the gang and set everything up.. but I didn’t want to go. I wanted to keep hearing her laugh.. unfortunately our mission was so close that we couldn't waste any time.

“Elijah Dalton’s death' or 'Breaking Elijah’s heart' were one of the names I was going to choose for my biggest come back..

Sun

We talked about random stuff just like the last time when we talked on the phone after my nightmare. Cuddling turned into making out more and more.. I tried to make him happy and distract him and it worked but there was still something that bothered him. He was somewhere else with his head..

He was trying to show off that he wasn't okay but I could feel it. He held me like he didn’t want to let me go ever again.. like he was hurt and broken and needed somebody. I didn’t like it when he wasn’t okay.. it really bothered me and I wanted to know what was going on so I asked him because as long as he was like this, I felt uncomfortable and I wanted to help.

“Okay, what's wrong with you?” I asked looking into his face.. he backed off and furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?” he asked. I raised a brow and sat up. “I can see that you're not okay..” I said looking into his eyes.

Dean

She was looking so sad and worried that it made my blood boil. I realized that I couldn't stand it when she was sad. Especially not because of me. It made my blood boil.. seeing how sad she looked at me with her furrowed eyebrows and her puppy eyes.. I felt like my head was standing in flames. I tried my best to not start breathing heavily..

Sun

Suddenly he grabbed my waist and was on top of me. I looked at him eyes widened.. his sudden move caught me off guard, just like his furrowed eyebrows and his clenched jaw. He looked very angry... what happened all of sudden? What was wrong with him? I was asking myself what he was going to do. For a second I thought he was going to kiss me but he didn’t.. he stood up but I wasn’t going to let go. I was going to be there for him.

“I only need a drink..” he said walking towards the door. I followed him down the stairs. “But I can see that something is wrong!” I said following him to the kitchen. “Nothing is wrong.” his voice wasn’t soft anymore.. he was cold and rough. “But I can feel it..” I said but he didn’t care.

We entered the kitchen and he still didn’t say a word when he poured the Hennessy into his glass. I watched him and tried to sound a little softer and honest than I already was.

“Just talk to me! You know you can trust me..” I continued. He put a few ice cubes into his drink, totally unordered and I was asking myself if he wanted to freeze to death. It was like I wasn’t even there.

“We both know that.. there's this thing between us. That special thing that’s too deep.. I know you can feel it too.”

Dean

She knew it too.. that made me feel like I was standing in flames. It made me nervous..

She didn’t know why our bond was so strong why our connection was so important.. but I knew why and it was killing me..

I didn’t want to act the way I was acting but my head didn’t want to shut up while I was cuddling with her. It literally couldn’t control it and it bothered me so much that I needed to get out..

Sun

I felt like everything was going too fast.. well I was talking fast and he was breathing fast. He wasn't saying a word and I was asking myself what was wrong with him. He was usually the one who made me talk when I didn’t want to talk but this time he was the one who didn’t say a word. All I wanted was him to be okay and share his thoughts and feelings with me..

“I promise you, talking about it will make you feel better!” I continued and he looked like he was going to explode.. but my dumbass couldn't stop although I knew that he didn’t need his annoy girlfriend. He sipped on his drink and I sighed.

“I'm just trying to help you!” I said totally frustrated and it that second he threw the glass on the ground as if it was something that he hated.. I screamed and winced... he looked like he went crazy.. the way he was breathing.. the way his hair fell on his forehead.. and the way he slowly walked towards me scared me. I got anxious and didn’t know what to do. I only looked at him eyes widened and totally terrified.

I went too far but I couldn’t take it back or make him calm down because I didn’t know how and I knew that talking would make it only worse. But I knew that he could never hurt me..

“DON'T TRY TO HELP ME!” he screamed and his deep voice scared me even more.. it was filled with so much hate and anger that it made me shake..

“JUST SHUT UP!”

I felt my chin shaking but I didn't want to cry because I knew it would make everything even worse. I needed to stay calm so he could calm down too.. I needed to apologize. I needed to do something.. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” his voice was husky and broken.. he wasn’t only angry and aggressive.. he was also hurt.. and he hurt me too although I knew that it was my fault and that I pushed him to the edge.

“Dean I’m sorry, I didn’t want t-..” he cut my shaking voice off. “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS?” my heart stopped beating.

“WHY CAN'T YOU JUST UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN'T HELP ME!?” my heart was hurting and I felt the tears in my eyes but I wasn’t going to let them roll. Not like that.. not while he was looking at me with his eyes that were literally spitting fire.. especially not while he kept coming closer and screaming louder.. I was too scared to look into his eyes and I’ve never thought that I would have to be really scared of him one day. I always felt so comfortable with him.. that this seemed so unreal.. like it wasn’t him..

I could see his veins trough his tattoos.. and the one on his neck.. he clenched his fists.. something was wrong with him. Definitely. And it wasn't the Hennessy.

“DON'T TRY TO HELP ME EVER AGAIN!”

I was breathing way too fast and holding back my tears. I should’ve won an award for holding them back for so long... he wanted to say so much more but he couldn't even breathe normally...

Then he raised his hand..

I didn’t know why but I closed my eyes immediately. I felt like everything around me froze and my heart stopped.. but I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me.. I knew he didn’t have bad intentions.. I just knew it.. no matter how bad he was, he could’ve never hurt me.. but I still got scared..

Then I heard a voice... “DEAN!”

A small silence followed.. then I heard footsteps that stepped trough the glass and the liquid on the ground.. i slowly opened my eyes and let the breath out that I’ve been holding in without being aware of it.

His dad was standing next to him. Looking at him very disappointed and angry.. he tried to figure out what was going and he seemed shocked.. really upset..

“Dean.. did you just raised your f*****g hand at her?” he asked angrily but quietly with his deep voice.. I felt so uncomfortable that I wanted to disappear. Not go home or die. Only disappear.

“What? NO!” he said panicking.. for a second i couldn’t tell if he said it because was scared of his dad or if he really meant it.. something told me that he meant it.. it was still so stupid to believe that he didn’t want to hurt me.. I looked at Dean.. he looked confused, overwhelmed but still really angry.. “Did you want to hit her?” his dad asked with a raised brow and shaking voice. I guess he was just as angry as him.. his brother was standing there watching us and looking also very shocked. What just happened?

“NO I SWEAR I-..” he tried to defend himself but his dad cut him off. “Are you crazy? I didn't raise you like this!”

Dean

I couldn't believe my ears.. what did he just say? He had to be kidding me. He couldn’t say this right in front of her because he knew so damn well that it wasn’t him who raised me like this or made any effort to fix me at all. I really couldn’t control myself anymore..

“I.. what-..? OF COURSE! BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T RAISE ME!” I screamed at him not caring that Sun would find out about it or that anybody else would hear it. Their jaws dropped and I knew how angry he was but he wasn’t going to make a move in front of Sun.. he wasn’t even going to say a word..

The way her tears rolled down her face silently and the way she looked at me.. showed me how angry she was at me and at herself.. as if she broke a promise with letting these tears roll.. as if I hurt her.. I hated myself even more for that but I couldn’t control it. I hated that she had to be in this all and see me like that..

“What is wrong with you..?” dad asked like he was really upset and hurt.. like he really cared and started questioning himself and me.. he was lying. It was all fake.. he was acting like the caring father that I wanted him to be but he wasn’t.. He could see that something was wrong with me as well but he didn’t really care. “Dean, how much did you drink?” Blake asked coming towards us.. he looked worried and disappointed as well. I raised my eyebrows and shook my head. “Don’t you dare to act like I’m a f*****g alcoholic!” I said. I wasn’t screaming anymore but I was still breathing heavily and speaking loudly.

Then I ran my hand through my hair and looked at dad.. or the man who should be my father.. “What's wrong with me..? You really want to know?” I asked trying to keep calm but it seemed impossible in that moment.. like all my veins were going to explode one by one. “You.. f**k you all..” my voice has never been so deep and I’ve never been more serious.

Kingston

For the first time I really thought about killing this boy right here right now and then myself. I wanted to choke him with my bare hands until he wouldn’t get to breathe anymore. I wanted to rip his head off and cover the walls with his blood... but he was clever. He didn’t give me any time to do that. He walked towards the door with big steps and slammed the door shut.

I looked at my beautiful Sun and she looked at the ground and started sobbing quietly. He was going to pay for every tear that came out of her eyes.. he was going to pay for her shaking voice.. for her sadness.. he was going to die really really soon.

I wanted to hug her so bad.. I wanted to comfort her and feel her warmth and make her feel my warmth but that wouldn’t work... it would be too creepy.. it would show too much since I couldn’t hide my feelings after a simple touch.

Blake

I slowly walked towards her.. I’ve never seen a girl care so much about somebody.. it was like the tears came from her heart. I’ve never cared about somebody.. but I couldn’t stop myself.. and I hated that he made her cry.. that he scared her. He didn’t deserve a girl like him even if he wasn’t going to keep her in the end.. he didn’t have the right to hurt her.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to make him angry, I don’t even know what happened all of sudden..” she said shaking her head and for some reason I felt the urge to kill him for making her feel guilty. She had no affect on his actions and his awful behavior. Good, dad was a faker, a really good actress and an asshole sometimes but that still didn’t give Dean the right to act like this.

“You don’t need to apologize for his actions. It’s not your fault. Nobody will ever understand him.. I’m sorry that he scared you..” dad said and I could see how embarrassed he was because of Dean’s actions and how angry he was. He was really trying to keep calm and doing his best to not lose it.. he would never lose himself in front of her.. it looked like he was falling apart because she was so upset..

I approached her a little bit more and gently wrapped my arms around her. I knew it wasn’t my job but I wanted to comfort her and make her feel less alone.. even if she didn’t know me.. I thought she would need a hug. She was so tiny in my arms, so cute..

“Don’t worry about him..” I whispered without even wanting it. The words just rolled off my tongue without permission. “He’ll hey himself together, I promise..” I continued.. she kept crying silently so I put my hand on her head and stroke it as gentle as I could..

Kingston

I was so glad that Blake hugged her because if he wouldn’t have done that, I would’ve hugged her so tightly that I probably would have squeezed her to death. Blake was okay. That he hugged her was okay. Because it would have been more than weird if I would’ve hugged her.

“I’ll drive you..” Blake said and I blinked a few times in confusion. I obviously missed a part of their conversation but that was okay as well as long as she was going to be alright..

She slowly backed off and my heart broke.. I definitely didn’t like seeing her like that. It made me want to die. She wiped her tears away but the sadness was still there and I wanted to choke Dean again.

I wish she would stay so I could make her happy.. but it was too early for that.. it was way too early.. we didn’t even get to know each other properly.. there was still time and I knew she was feeling uncomfortable so I didn’t want to pressure her.

She looked up at Blake and he looked down at her.. I wasn't sure what he was up to but the way he was looking at her.. what was wrong with these boys? She nodded and they walked straight to the door after she grabbed her phone and her jacket.. I called one of the maids to clean up this mess.