Can't Hate You

Cold water

Melissa

He was leaning onto the wall staring at me with his arms crossed in front of his chest..

"Why did you keep asking if she's a boy?" I asked and he pushed himself off the wall and walked towards me. He was looking mad again and that was turning me on so much.. even if we were about to argue.

As he was very close to me I asked him again "Would you be mad if it would've been a boy?" he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to himself with that question. "Yes. Because my babygirl isn't allowed to talk to other boys. The only male human being she should be talking to is her daddy."

I raised my eyebrow.

In that moment I wasn't sure about anything anymore. I told Charlie he was treating me good without knowing if it was true.. I couldn't decide.. I couldn't figure him out. I needed more time... How he was treating me was.. different. Just like I said. Hot and cold.

"What if I'm talking to a boy secretly?" I asked him provocatively. His mood changed immediately and I felt his hand on my throat again. This time I knew what to do.

"I'm still horny and mad and that isn't a good combination so be careful what you say." he answered with a husky voice.

"But..if Maria wouldn't have interrupted us.." his grip tightened. I couldn't breathe. "You'll never know what would've happened then." I said and I thought I'd turn blue but I had to laugh. I gasped and held onto his arm.

"You're not texting other boys, right babygirl?"

"No daddy.." I answered and he smirked.

"You're only mine, right babygirl?"

"Yes daddy.."

Finally he let me go and I could breathe again. I tried to keep myself together and just looked at him. "Get ready we'll eat dinner outside today. Wear something fine." he said to of nowhere changing he subject way too fast again. I looked totally confused and he just left.

I took a shower and got ready not even knowing why we were going to eat outside and why he said it in that way... but there was this one dress I looked very good in. I put it on and walked downstairs. He was already dressed up waiting for me. He whistled as he saw me. »Daammn.« I put a fake smile on and said "'I'm not a dog." but he laughed and said "Your face says something else.". I furrowed my eyes and said "Asshole." while we walked to the car. "Thank you for the nice compliment." he said and winked what made me roll my eyes.

"Won't you open the door for me? I thought you'd be a gentleman." I said when we were standing in front of the car and he walked to his side. "Nah b***h. That's what lovers do. I'm a gangster."

After we arrived at a fancy restaurant and ordered our food we started talking.. it was a little silent until he asked me "Why do you want revenge on your mom?" and I looked at him a little shocked. He caught me off guard. I pressured my lips.. "She.. turned the past years into hell for me.. she did things to me.. that I want her to feel too.." I answered and he seemed impressed and surprised.

"What did she do?" he asked and my finger went to the scar on my pinky finger automatically under the table.. I could still feel it.. still remember it.. the day dad left she threw a porcelain plate into my direction..she freaked out.. I feel awful.. I thought she needed my help so I started picking up the broken pieces like I could fix anything with that. I was shaking and trying my best to not cry because I didn't want to make it harder for her.. she was already crying and having her mental breakdown..

She ran towards me and screamed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?". I remember how scared I was when she looked and screamed at me like a monster.. I could feel my heart racing but didn't know what to say. I thought every word would make it worse for her..

So she grabbed the pieces out of my hand so roughly that she cut me with one of these pieces into my pinky finger very very deeply. I remember my own blood on the ground and how scared I was to scream but I couldn't hold my tears back. I could still feel it burning.. I could still feel the pain after all these years.. and I'll never forget her hand going down on my face and her screaming "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

My chin started shaking and I started breathing faster through my nose. "I hate her.." I said quietly looking at the candle which was burning on the table. My voice was a little raw and husky. "I hate her so much.." I added and shook my head slowly.. I couldn't answer his question. It was too deep for me and I didn't want to tell him more about my miserable self..

"Okay.. calm down.. you don't need to tell me.." he said with a soft voice but still serious. I swallowed. "You were right.. the night on that bridge.. I'm one of these teens girls whose mother hates her.. whose boyfriend cheated on her.. who's on some suicidal shit." I said with so much hate in may voice and I couldn't understand why I got so emotional all of sudden. I could literally feel the fire in my lungs and noticed how much I actually hated my mom..

"Melissa.. look at me" he said and I looked at him. Obeying him was so easy. Easier than obeying my mom.. "Get yourself back together. You're not stuck in that world anymore. Remember that." he said madly looking into my eyes with furrowed eyebrows. I just nodded and took a deep breath. He was right. I needed to calm down and get myself back together.

i leaned back and kept looking at him. He was looking fine as hell non that suit I couldn't stir staring at him.. he was art.. "Elijah.." I said.. I couldn't call him daddy in public. He looked questioning with a raises eyebrow. "I've already told you some about me.. what about you? I don't know anything about you.." I said and I could see that he felt uncomfortable. he clenched his jaw.. "You'll never know more about me than my name and my age and what I'm doing.. what I let you know.." he said and I felt the disappointment coming towards me.

"Come on what's with your parents.. or any ex girlfriends?" I asked shrugging. I didn't want a lot. I just wanted us to be equal. I just wanted it to be fair. I was trying to cooperate. What was the point in being so close to him when he didn't even want me to dow anything. What did he really want? Oh right.. he only needed me for the bank rob..

"Okay listen." he said leaning in and he seemed really pissed because of my last question. He was talking very quietly but furiously.. "All you should know is that you can't trust me. I'm an mean and disrespectful asshole from the finest kind. I'll only f**k you but there's no love. No feelings. I'm not kind or soft or some s**t. It's all about acting because I don't want you little brat to cry like a baby.. All you're good for is the bank rob and some f*****g as soon as you turn eighteen because I'm not gonna let you go before I get to be inside you, do you understand?."

He was speaking so fast and so aggressively that my jaw dropped at each of his words.. I couldn't believe my ears. I couldn't believe myself because I was mad at myself for judging him.. but he deserved worse.That's exactly why I wanted to build walls.. because otherwise I was gonna get hurt by him so easily. I was stupid to think I'd had a chance. He said it by himself.. all the times he was being soft, he was just a acting.. he only wanted to use me..

I really wanted to believe he was just saying these things to make me stay away from him so nobody would get hurt and that he would be a good person inside.. but his hazel eyes in which I could see the reflection of the candle fire... weren't lying a bit..

"So don't try to get to know me because this ain't no high school s**t. I'm a man and not a p***y who'll fall in love with you.". He set everything clear. That's how it was and I was stupid for being upset and heartbroken. He only wanted me to be his babygirl.. he wanted me to please him.. help him with the bank.. I wanted to say something but our food came so I decided to shut up for god's sake..

We ate in silence. Actually I didn't even feel like eating anymore.. I just wanted to leave that place and sleep. I could barely swallow the food although it was really delicious. I just felt awful.. he was never going to love me. Nobody was ever going to love me.. He said he' wouldn't let me go before he would be inside me.. but he was going to let me go.. I felt like throwing up..

I tried to get myself back together with sipping on my champagne but then I saw someone. My stomach dropped and I felt even more like throwing up. I couldn't even feel my heart beating anymore.. It felt like I got stabbed into my heart..

Matt and Kayla were sitting on a table in the same restaurant... three tables behind us.. I almost chocked.

"Melissa what-...?"

"Uh..nothing..can we please leave..?." I asked quietly looking away and he raised a brow at me. "I don't feel so good.." I said. "Look if you're acting like this because of what I said-.." I cut him off because I couldn't take it anymore and almost couldn't control my tears anymore.. "Elijah please." I said and couldn't take my eyes from Matt. Seeing him hurt. I thought I was over it.. I thought it would be easy.. I didn't expect to see them there and suddenly.. I could barely breathe..

"Can we just go?" I asked again not noticing that Elijah was looking in the same direction. "Who's he?" he asked me and I just swallowed trying not to cry... "Matt.." I said and took another deep breath. I couldn't cry.. not after this all..

"Is he.."

"Yes." he stood up immediately before I could even end the shortest 'yes' of my life so that was really fast... "Dalton what are you doing? Sit down! Please!" he didn't mind me and stared walking towards them so I stood up too and followed him as fast as I could with my high heels. He walked over to their table but I kept standing on the same spot first because I didn't wanted him to see me and I basically couldn't move...

"Excuse me sir!" Elijah said acting totally polite with a fake smile and I held onto my head. I bit my lip. I was so afraid. My heart was racing and it wanted it to stop. I wished I could stop time.. I couldn't believe this was actually happening.. Matt looked up to him.

"I heard you're a cheating son of a b***h?"

I held my hand in front of my mouth. He didn't said that..did he? God why wasn't he normal? why couldn't he just laugh at me or be mad at me for being such a p***y like I actually expected him to? Why did he have to do this..

Matt stood up looked at him challenging him with furrowed eyebrows and a raised voice. My jaw dropped.. Elijah was taller than Matt.. he was also wider.. way more muscular and.. he just looked like a handsome beast compared to Matt..

"What did you say?" Matt asked very angrily but not that much like Elijah. I could see the difference.. Elijah looked like he could burn the whole world.. Matt looked like he wanted to prove Kayla that he's a man..

"Yeah she didn't wanted to f**k you but I can do it if you want!" Elijah said provocatively and I felt like I couldn't breathe. That was so embarrassing...

Matt wanted to punch him but he grabbed his fist in the air and hit his head against it so hard that Matt tripped and almost fell.. I was shocked and a lots of people around us were too. Especially Kayla. She was screaming but she did nothing else than standing up and covering her mouth with her hand. I hated her so damn much but there was no time for that...

Some people literally run away panicking and I could see the security guard coming so I rushed towards him and grabbed his arm.

"Elijah we have to go!"

Matt was laying on the ground and Elijah kept punching him.

I pulled his arm harder.

"Come on E!" he looked at me and froze for a second. I reached my hand and he took it.. we both ran away as fast as we could. They didn't follow us. Luckily because otherwise we were f****d.

As we were safe we were out of breath and the restaurant was near to the harbor so we kept walking along it. I could still feel my heart racing even after minutes.. I even noticed that I was shaking.

"Are you crazy?" I asked him very mad trying to stay calm but unfortunately I was already too loud..

"He deserved it." he said with a deep voice. He was still pissed and I was even more pissed.

"Wow what an answer. You're so great! Seriously why did you do that?« I said clapping and raising my voice even more. I was so upset. We just could've left like normal people..

We stopped were standing near to the water.

"Don't think I've done it for you. You don't mean anything to me. I just can't stand cheaters.." my jaw dropped in disappointment and I let my shoulders fall. Did he have to hurt me with every chance that he got? I hated him so much.. the list of people I hated was getting longer and he was on top of it..

"Then you should've thought about yourself! You're a gang leaser and you're really bad in hiding. What if they'll look for you?"

"They won't. Not because of something like that."

I shook my head and he looked at me. He looked at Mme for a little too long.. like he was trying to find something out.. so I shrugged.

"Do you still have feelings for him?"

My jaw dropped.

"If I-. NO!"

"Then why are you mad? Every other girl would be happy to see someone bet up her cheating ex boyfriend.. but you.."

"No I don't love him."

I said though my teeth. I was already shaking of anger is I clenched my fists.

"But you're jealous that he's with her instead of you."

He took a step towards me and raised his voice which got deeper with ever word.

"I.." I looked away. I didn't want to look into his eyes...

"Maybe... I.. No!" I said totally confused and overwhelmed. This was too much for me, why was he asking me that? It was too early.. and he was so mad.. soo maadd..

"You still have feelings for him."

I wasn't sure if that was true or not. My heart was aching but I definitely didn't have any feelings left for Matt. It was just because of the memories. I just couldn't tell him otherwise because the wounds didn't heal yet and I didn't want to talk about it at all..

If I would only know why he was asking me that.. but one thing was sure. He was so mad that he put his hand onto my chest softly and slowly pushed me into the water...