Can't Hate You

Mother and daughter

Sun

After a few hours we finally arrived at a hotel. At a really huge and luxurious hotel.. The ride was very silent. I hoped so bad that he would talk but he didn’t. He didn't let my hand go until we arrived. Somehow that comforted me although I was scared about what was going to happen. It shouldn’t be comforting me but I couldn’t change it because we were somewhere and he was there..

While he was checking in, I was looking around.. walking around in the lobby.. it was a very beautiful hotel.. but so far away from home.. I’ve never felt more weird and uncomfortable. What was I doing here?

I looked at him. He turned around as if he felt my eyes on him and smiled.. I hated how it made me feel better. Maybe because he was the only person I knew here. Maybe because I still trusted him somehow. I just hoped that I was in good hands and maybe he was really going to take care of me in the right way.. I smiled back..

During the ride I realized that I forgot my phone at home. I wanted to text Moon for help but when I realized that I forgot it, I also forgot how to breathe but needed to show it off. I wanted to believe that he wasn’t going to hurt me.. but after everything that happened, I wasn’t really sure anymore.. I hated being this anxious.

He walked towards me with a card in his hand while a man was taking our bags up to our room. I didn’t say a word. I’ve never been so silent and uncomfortable. Why was his appearance comforting me? We followed the guy and when we walked in I forgot how to breathe again because the suit was really stunning. I’ve never seen such a beautiful room.. The bed looked so comfortable I felt how it wanted me to sleep on it but there was no time for that. After the man handed us our bags and left, Dean locked the door while I was standing in the middle of the room and tried my best to not have a panic attack.

He turned around to me and smiled. I bit my lower lip and hoped that he was finally going to explain everything. I wasn't sure what he was going to do.. what he was planning or why we were in this beautiful hotel suit.. but I was going to find it out. When he walked towards me I realized that I needed to say something.

“I forgot my phone...” I didn’t know if it was clever to tell him that because it probably made everything easier for him.. but it was at least something.. “You won't need it anyway. Look..” he said and walked towards the big window. He turned his phone off and threw it out of the window. My jaw dropped. He did it so easily without hesitation that it made me worry even more.

I couldn't even look at him. This all felt really weird.. he approached me and my heart started racing again.. he placed his hands on my waist and pulled me closer. I wanted to stop him.. I needed him to explain first.. but I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t stop feeling this type of way when he touched me. He buried his face in my neck and sniffed me in as if he missed me.. I felt the tears in my eyes.. this whole situation was overwhelming.

“I don't want anyone to find us for a while..” I was so small in his arms.. his soft voice made this all seem less worse. “But they are going to try to find me..” my voice was still shaking.. his grip tightened. “Don't worry about that babygirl..”.

I remembered everything that happened. The way he looked at me.. how the glass shattered.. how he screamed at me and disappeared. How angry he was when he saw Blake and me.. how he looked away when he told me about the girl.. and how he looked at me when he told me that he loved me.. I heard that for the very first time from a boy. a few guys already wanted to date me but none of them were so serious..

I slowly wrapped my arms around him...

After a long silence of hugging I finally asked him “Are you going to talk to me now..?”. I was almost whispering.. he backed off, and looked into my eyes.

Dean

I wanted her only to myself. Only to myself. I didn’t want to share her with anybody or let her go again. My love for her was so big.. she was so much more to me than my girlfriend. She was my life. No joke.

She was so worried, sad and afraid that it hurt. I never wanted to scare her again or make her feel like she had to worry about what was going to happen while being next to me. I wanted to explain it all and I knew how overwhelming this was. I knew how confused she was but I was going to explain it all soon somehow.. I only wanted to make her happy... I wanted her to be filled with love just like me. I knew she already was.. but she deserved more.

I wasn't planning to tell her about what I remembered and why I was acting like that.. I was going to tell her something different.. that would explain a little bit of it.. that would be enough for her.. the truth would’ve destroyed her and I didn’t want that. It would’ve scared her. That was the last thing that I wanted..

I leaned my forehead against hers.. “I know.. I was acting like an asshole..“ I said softly. I held her hands. “I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you..” I continued. I knew that she was struggling to believe me. She didn’t know why to believe. I was completely serious.

I backed off and looked at her.

“I’m not a person who loves or trusts people.. and I fell in love with you way faster than I wanted it. I know I was the one who forced this relationship in first place.. but I wanted to take it slow with my feelings because I.. I’m not the best when it comes to feelings and..” I looked at her hands. My voice was shaking a little bit. “..and falling in love with you.. was probably the best thing that I’ve ever done.. but..” I couldn’t find any words to explain it..

“..this feeling that I get when I see you.. when you laugh, when he look at me, when you speak.. when you breathe.. I get so angry because I’m afraid that I won’t be able to experience it all again one day.. and that makes me crazy. That’s why I don’t know how to act. I get jealous, I get scared, I care, I.. that’s not me.. and that’s why I go crazy and freak out because my brain.. is not used to this and doesn’t know how to react to it..”

I looked into her eyes, hoping she could understand me.. she looked at me with her shining eyes as if she was nervous. I could see how much she wanted to believe me.. I knew she was going to believe me. I knew we were made for each other..

“When I raised my hand.. I didn’t want to hurt you. I can’t remember what I wanted to do. Probably fun my hand trough my hair or punch the wall or the table.. but not you. I would never hurt you. I would rather die.. seeing you in pain makes me weak.. you are my weakness.” I continued and I could see the tears in her eyes. “I didn’t want to cry so I needed to say something more positive. “And now.. I only want to love you. I only want you. Only we two.” I added quickly. I needed her to see how I changed..

I waited.. the seconds seemed like forever.. I needed her to say something. I wanted to know what she was thinking and feeling.. I wanted to know everything.. I was so frustrated. My hope was fading with every second.. but then I could see the soft smile on her lips.. that made my heart beat faster and I felt like I could finally breathe again.

She wanted to believe me.. she was believing me. She knew that I only loved her and nobody else. She knew that she was the only one for me.

“I promise you.. I'll never scare or leave you again..”

Melissa

We went back to the lodge after we got exhausted from being outside all the time. We were planning to cook something together and watch a movie with some delicious desserts. I was already excited to cuddle with him and just relax.

He was lighting up the woods in the fire place. I rushed upstairs to change my clothes into something more comfortable. I was probably just going to take a shirt of him and nothing else beneath it. That was the most comfortable way to dress, especially now that we were alone.

I entered the bedroom and my heart stopped. I froze before my brain even got the realize what was going on. It took me a few minutes to realize that Kingston was standing in front of me.. after all these years.. he was standing in front of me again. I already forgot about him.. I erased him from my mind.. He didn’t change a bit.. I would’ve recognized him from miles away. These dangerous eyes.. that hair.. that scent.. everything.. I wanted to throw up. My head started spinning and I almost fainted.. I stopped breathing and the anxiety captured me.

He approached me while I couldn’t move.. I couldn’t do anything. His scary smile almost gave me a heart attack.. my heart had never been racing so fast before.. “ELIJAH!” I screamed as loud as I could but after I did that he covered my mouth with his hand.. he grabbed me from the back and wrapped one arm around my neck. He pulled me away. I tried to scream and free myself but it was impossible.. I wanted to bite his hand but he had cloves on.

My vision blurred but I noticed that he wasn’t alone.. there was another guy..

Elijah

I heard her screaming my name. “YES BABY?” I screamed back but she didn't respond so I walked upstairs. It was totally silent. I was suspicious but she was probably playing games.. I opened the door of the bedroom but she wasn’t there.. she said she would change her clothes.. where was she? I was asking myself if she was hiding. She loved playing these games.

“Mel? Where are you hiding, huh?” I asked laughing. I looked around in the huge room and stepped on something. I looked down and saw that it was her phone. I furrowed my eyebrows. Why was it laying on the ground? I picked it up and looked around again. She would never just leave her phone on the ground even if she wanted to play hide and seek spontaneously.. I got this weird and very uncomfortable feeling in my stomach..

Something was wrong.

“MELISSA?!” I screamed louder. Maybe she was in one of the other rooms.. “THAT'S NOT FUNNY!” I screamed. I hated worrying that fast and jumping in conclusions but I felt that I was right... I checked the whole lodge in a couple of minutes but I couldn’t find her. That made me crazy. She couldn’t just disappear as if she was a ghost or a spirit or something. If she was playing, then she was playing really good and I was going to be really mad at her.

My heart started racing.. I rushed back to the bedroom hoping that she gave up and came out but she still wasn’t there.. the only thing that was there, was a note.. how did I miss that? I picked it up and my heart stopped beating again..

'Did you miss me? Well I missed your wife and from now on you'll miss her too.'

I froze for a second.. and almost ripped the paper in my hand apart.. my brain needed to handle all the information that I was getting at once.. it was too much.. I couldn’t realize what was going on. That note.. her scream..

I took a deep breath.. I needed to stay calm so I would not faint.. it destroyed me. It took one second and one note to destroy me. She was my weakness.. my family was my weakness. If someone really kidnapped her.. then I was really going to burn this world down.. I was going to burn that person down.. I already assumes who it was.. but it seemed impossible.. he disappeared years ago.. why should he be back now?

I called Josh.. my hands and my voice were shaking. My whole world was shaking. I needed to do what I was always doing.. “J-josh.. call the boys.. I'll send you our... my.. location! I want you to check at least hundred miles around this area!” saying this hurt like hell.. I always prayed that this moment would never come.. and I hated myself because I put her in danger.. entering my life made her turn into a target. I was responsible for her.. I shouldn’t have left her alone.. not for a second.. even in all these years..

“Done in 5.” he hung up.. I ran down and got in my car without grabbing my stuff. I didn’t give a damn about all the material things. I needed to find that bastard and get her back. I needed to find out what the hell was going on. I knew he couldn't be far away.. I was going to kill him.. this time I was really going to kill him..

Melissa

We were sitting in a car.. my hands and legs were tied. The duct tape on my mouth was really strong. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t defend myself or move. I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t even cry because my anger was bigger than any other feeling that I felt in that moment.. I wasn't 17 anymore. I've learned a lot from Elijah. I grew with him and I was going to get out of this..

I was going to keep calm.. keep an eye out on the location, on him and everything else. I wasn’t going to let him win or be in charge for a damn second. I was going to fight against him, no matter how long it would take and what was going to happen. I didn’t know what was going to happen... if he was going to hurt me, kill me or take me to Guantanamo.. I didn’t care. I was going to fight.

He was smirking.. I wanted to punch him but I still had time. “What is Elijah Dalton most afraid of?” he asked me and he seemed really happy. He was enjoying this all.. he had what he wanted. Well at least that’s what he thought.. I looked at him very disgusted.. “Me? No.” he answered his question by himself. Of course he wasn’t afraid of him.. “The police? No.” he laughed and sighed then. “His family... his weakness. How sweet..” then he looked at me. “Rule number one.. you can't be a gang leader and a dad at the same time..” he smiled as if he was telling me something beautiful

He appeared out of nowhere after all these years. I even thought he died.. I had so many questions.. why and how he found us.. for how long he‘s been planning this.. if he has spent his whole life with this or if it was just a spontaneous act. What was going to happen and how long it would take Elijah to find me. I knew he was going to find me.. and Kingston wasn’t going to live anymore. This time he wouldn't let him live.

“And Do you know where we're going now?” he asked me very excited.. he was definitely crazy.. I swallowed and tried to breathe through my nose. I felt like I was choking. “Were going far away.. he won't be able to find you.. no matter how much he will try.”

Sun

I sat down on the edge of the huge, comfortable bed while he was looking at me.. he ran his hand trough his hair.. and continued to explain it all to me. His words.. cleared everything a little bit and actually made me feel better.

“I know.. I can be very mean and.. aggressive..” he said and I nodded. “I know that I hurt you many times..” he continued and I looked at the ground with the thought of these moments.I couldn’t get this sad feeling away...

“But I’m not doing it on purpose because I would rather to hurt myself than you..“ he added. I tried to hide my smile because I loved what he was saying. I still should be doubting him for everything that’s been happening but I wanted him to keep explaining..

“You are.. my life. That's not a joke. You are me and I am you. Hurting you wouldn't work.” that made my heart melt.. “And I never hooked up with someone else..” he said and I looked right into his eyes. That was the part that made me nervous.. the part that made my heart ache. The part that made me mad. I didn’t even know if I wanted to listen to it.. but I was too curious.

“I took her with me... but I didn't touch her. I was high.. and drunk.” he said and I felt the fire in my lungs. My eyes were burning. I felt like I couldn’t breathe again. “She wanted it but I.. couldn't.. I don't remember everything but I remember pushing her away.. I remember telling her that I have a princess that’s waiting at home..” he continued. I bit my lower lip in pain and looked away because I didn’t want to cry. “I was so mad at myself because I let all my anger out on you.. I'm sorry about that..” I looked up at him again..

This all was confusing.. but I was believing him. He was acting weird sometimes.. most of the time. I still couldn’t understand him most of the time but I was believing him. I knew that it was honest. Nobody could look at me like this and lie.. maybe forgetting everything and just forgiving him was going to be stupid.. but it was what I wanted.. because I wanted him..

“When I saw you and Blake.. I went crazy.. he makes me crazy.. It’s not like I didn’t trust you.. i didn’t trust him.. that’s why I assumed something else..” he admitted a little embarrassed. I stood up. “Yeah. You got it wrong and judged me. You said you wouldn't trust me.” saying this actually hurt.. remembering the way he looked at me hurt.

He walked towards me with a very sad face. I couldn’t stand how it affected me. I’ve never seen him this sad.. i thought he was playing.. acting so I would believe him.. but I knew he was honest. He was showing me his feelings. For a second I thought he was going to cry.. and then he he actually did. I could see the tears shining in his eyes. I held my breath and all the walls around my heart fell apart..

“I trust you. I was so angry that I said things that I didn’t mean.. but I trust you.. I was blind but i know that you would never do that because you’re so..” a tear rolled down his cheek and I felt how emotional I got. I saw him cry for the first time and I couldn’t stand it. I felt the pain in my chest and I felt the urge to make the tears and the feelings that made him cry disappear. I should’ve felt relieved and good because I got my revenge but I didn’t.. I felt awful.. I didn’t want him to cry.

He held my hands and kissed them..

“.. you are so pure, innocent and loyal.. so careful.. you would never believe that someone has bad intentions. You always look for the good in people...” his tears touched my hands... I needed to hold my tears back. “Not trusting you would be a fool..” he added and I was so close to start sobbing.

“Judging you would be stupid.. making you feel guilty for something would be stupid.. you’re not responsible for anything..” his voice was so raw and quiet.. I couldn’t hold my tears back. They rolled down my cheeks. No one has ever cried for me and I knew that he wasn’t doing that to make me believe him. He really felt that.. he was honest.. “So you admit that you are stupid.” I needed to say something that would make the situation better because otherwise I was going to cry a waterfall.

He nodded laughing.. I missed his voice.. I missed the way he laughed..

“Yes I'm the most stupid person on earth..” I finally freed my hands and cupped his face. I wiped his tears away with my thumbs. He placed his hands on my hands and he seemed so relieved about it. He closed his eyes and said “But I'm also.. the luckiest guy on earth for having you..”. He kissed my palm and I had to chuckle although I was still crying.

I hugged him.. the way he buried his face in my neck and wrapped his arms around me made me feel so much better.. it was crazy how much talking was helping.. it was solving everything.. “And I'm the luckiest girl for having a man like you.” I whispered and it seemed like that was all he wanted to hear because he pulled me closer and held me tighter..

“I promise.. I'll never leave you.. until the day I die.” he whispered and I got goosebumps. “As Long as I am alive.. you don't need to be afraid of anything.. you don’t need to worry about anything. I'll protect you with my life and take care of you..” he continued and every word of his made me feel more and more comfortable. It made me soft and warm.. it made me wanted.. it made me feel so special.. It took me a while to speak...

“If you die.. then I die.”