Can't Hate You

Pain

Melissa

I could see that Charlie was already waiting for me on the front door. I called her on the way to ask her if I could come and she said her parents wouldn't be home because they were on a business trip. They had a perfect timing.

I got off my car with shaking hands and she opened her arms already assuming what was going to happen and what happened.. I hugged her and I couldn't stop crying like a little baby while she wrapped her arms around me so carefully and lovely... I was a baby. A baby that lost its candy.. my candy was sweet from the outside and sour from the inside...

"It's okay... cry.." I heard her saying.

"HE BROKE UP WITH ME!" I felt so weak in her arms.. after realizing how long I've been fighting.. it all fell apart.. I felt like I couldn't breath again.

"Come in!" she said and helped me walking in. I sat down on the couch of her living room while she disappeared in the kitchen to get me some water. I looked down at my hands.. at my sleeves... they were ruined with my mascara... but then I realized it was his sweater.. I screamed. I felt my heart aching.

Charlie

I heard her scream so I ran with the cups of warm milk in my hand to her. I knew water wouldn't help her. She was that warm milk kind of girl. When I put the cups onto the table I saw that she was on the ground crying and holding her chest. I was afraid she would have a panic attack or a hear attack.. I've never seen her like that.. I've never seen her cry like that.. I bent down to her and wanted to help her up but she just laid down on the carpet. Seeing her like this broke my heart. She was my best friend and it didn't matter that she chose another life away from me. I supported her with every decision and she seemed so happy.. I was glad that she found her happiness.. but now I wanted to kill him.. breaking up with her and leaving her like this.. as a mess... what a son of a bitch..

"Mel please.. calm down.. don't let yourself down."

I could see that she was struggling to breathe..

"I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM!" she started hitting the floor so hard I thought she would break her hands. My poor baby...

"HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!" she screamed and I wished I could do something for her.

"I..I don't feel good I.." she covered her mouth with her hand. I knew she was going to throw up so I put her arm around her shoulder and carried her to the bathroom. She threw up and I held her hair back. She was shaking when I helped her to wash her face. She seemed traumatized.

I helped her to lay down on my bed.. tears kept rolling down her cheeks..

"Could you... could you help me to take this sweater off?" she asked me with a husky voice. She wasn't sobbing anymore but the pain in her eyes was obvious. I helped her to take it off and handed her a new one of mine.

She just played there and I looked at her trying to not seem like I would sympathize or anything. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" I asked and held her hand.. she licked her plump, swollen lips. "I thought.. this between us was something big.. I trusted him... I leaned on him knowing he would never leave me alone.." it was difficult to hear her light broken voice.. but I let her talk.

"I never loved anyone that much.. I never thought he would do that to me. I really trusted him. Everything seemed perfect.. but it wasn't.. because he betrayed me just like Matt did it.."

My jaw dropped and my blood started boiling. "He cheated on you? I asked and she started sobbing quietly again. I wiped her tears with my thumbs away. "Charlie why am I not good enough?" she asked and my heart broke into a million pieces.. no girl should ask herself this question. No girl should feel like this.. "Why does nobody love me? What am I doing wrong?"

She almost made me cry. I hated that she felt like that.. I hated that he made her feel like that. No guy should have the power to do that to somebody... he made her feel worthless.. she thought she wasn't loved..

"Even if he lied.. he definitely wanted me to leave.. and that's already enough."

I didn't know what to say or how to fix this. I wished I could go up to him and beat his ass so he would at least explain his stupid behavior. I wanted to comfort her but I didn't know how. It was worse than I thought. I've never seen her in such pain.. I've never seen that something mattered that much to her..

I thought this was something I could solve with some warm milk, a Disney movie, ice cream and deep talks till dawn.. but it wasn't going to be that easy..

Josh

We never expected that he would freak out that much... that he would love her that much. We never thought someone or something would matter that much to him because he alway seemed so heartless and cold.. but this girl really mattered to him and I felt awful because he got this stupid idea from us.

"I MADE HER BELIEVE THAT I DON'T LOVE HER!"

He was about to break and burn everything but we stopped him and pulled him upstairs, grabbing his arms. He tried to free himself and punched Caleb so he would let him go.

"I MADE HER CRY!" he was so upset and it seemed like her tears were his biggest sin.. we laid him down on his bed but he couldn't stand still. He kept trying to stand up but we held him down but then he gave up and buried his face into the pillow and calmed down..

Elijah

I calmed down for a second and buried my face into my pillows because they were still smelling like her...

Josh

After that he screamed so loud.. he just screamed and cried I was shocked. This wasn't a normal breakup. I've never seen anything like that before..

I rushed over to his closet and looked for her clothes. The nearest thing to me was a scarf so I grabbed it and rushed back to Elijah.

I handed him her scarf and luckily he calmed down after smelling on it and I never thought it would work but it obviously did.. he was shaking and breathing heavily but he wasn't planning on burning the world anymore.

Then he fell asleep so quickly that we weren't sure if he fainted or was just sleeping.

We all took a deep breath. Just when I wanted to sit down on a seat in front of him we heard his phone ring and that made my heart stop. I looked at the boys eyes widened. If he would wake up now we would have to deal with all this again like who the f**k was that? So I rushed to take his phone away and walked straight to the door so I could exit the room. I closed the door behind me quietly not risking to wake him up..

It was this number again. Thank god Elijah wasn't awake because he probably would've exploded. That son of a b***h was the cherry on top. I answered the call and of course he showed up again.

"Look! It wasn't that difficult!" he said laughing and he seemed really amused about what happened and I didn't even need to ask myself how he found out about that so quickly.. Of course he knew that they broke up. "Are you leaving her alone now?" I asked very pissed because it was the most important thing.. He raised his brow at me totally surprised.

"I will. But she won't." he said and that was confusing as f**k. "What do you mean?" he laughed again knowing that I started panicking. He loved tat he was in charge.

"She'll find me. I left tiny tiny clues and as we all know she isn't stupid. And then we'll see. But I won't hurt her. Tell your cry baby that she's safe." he seemed so proud of himself. He hung up before I could ask him another question..

Melissa

First Matt.. then Elijah.. they both cheated on me and I was too stupid to notice it. I didn't even catch Elijah cheating. He had to tell me. Was I that stupid? Or did he just want to hurt me because he knew I wound leave him alone otherwise. He probably just got tired of me and wanted me to leave...

"How did you sleep?" she asked carefully like she was afraid that she could hurt me with every word that would roll off her tongue.. I was appreciating her.. I knew she didn't leave my side a minute.. "Nightmares." I answered and she slowly stood up. I could feel how swollen my eyes were and it felt like my stomach was on a roller coaster..

Charlie

Suddenly she stood up and ran to the bathroom. I followed her and she threw up again. Tragedies like these were destroying her and she was obviously getting sick.

She loved him more than she loved herself because she didn't even cry that much when she broke up with Matt. Maybe for one hour or not. Her tears were probably forced.. and as much as I knew.. Elijah gave her the feeling of being loved like she's never seen it before.. that was what she needed and deserved..

As she came out of the bathroom she put her jacket on what made me wonder. "Where are you going?" I asked. I was worried. I didn't want to leave her alone like this.

She looked at me. She was empty.

"I'll drive around the block and be right back." she said and I didn't want to let her go but I couldn't stop her because I knew she needed it.

Melissa

I drove to a hill. What a shame. I loved him too much and without the moon there wouldn't be a sun. I couldn't understand how it was that easy for him.. after all the things that happened between us.. we robbed a damn back, he was my first, we had plans, the way he looked at me.. too much.. that I can't understand. If he didn't want me.. if he fell in love with someone else.. he could've just said it instead of doing it behind my back.. I hated that it was such a cliché.

All I wanted was to kill myself because I knew after him nothing else would matter to me. I hated my mother and didn't want to go back to her. Charlie had her own life.. I didn't even have real friends or aunts or cousins or anybody else who I could lean on.. I was so weak I couldn't stand on my own feet and that was so so sad..

I thought I fond my world.. I thought he was the one. I thought I found myself and I thought I would have goals.. finally... but that't now how it was.. it wasn't reality.

So I was standing on that hill with the car that he gave me...

I was just so tired of everything and I had enough of doing it all on my own.. I had enough of fighting and failing. I know people say life is a roller coaster with a lot of ups and downs.. but I wanted to get off this roller coaster.

I hit the gas. From 1 to 100 in 1,5 seconds. With every second that past I could feel my heart beating faster and faster.

I got off the gas and pulled the breaks. This wasn't the right way... It would make everything worse instead of making it better.. I had to find another way...