Can't Hate You

Disappointment

Blake

I swallowed and all of sudden he punched the flat table underneath him. He was shaking. I was used to these moments. “WAS HE GOING TO HURT HER? WAS HE REALLY GOING TO HIT HER?” he asked me twice as if I would know the answer if he would repeat it. I looked away.

“HE RAISED.. HIS HAND AT HER!” he was out of breath. I think he forgot how to breathe in that moment. His voice was really deep.. it’s been a while since the last time I saw him like that. “I SWEAR I'LL CUT HIS HAND OFF AND FORCE HIM TO EAT IT!”. I prayed that Dean wouldn’t come home because I knew dad was deadass serious.

And to be honest I thought he would scream at me as well for hugging her and all but it was all about Dean.

“HE MADE HER CRY!” he looked around because he was trying to find something that he could destroy. “HE SCARED HER!” he flenched his fists and I could see the veins on his arms and his neck. That was scary.. “IMAGINE WHAT HE DID TO HER BEFORE WE ARRIVED!” his voice was shaking and I asked myself if his throat wasn't burning. LOR WHAT HE WOULD'VE DONE IF WE WOULDN'T-..” he couldn’t continue his sentence because he freaked out. Completely.

After he broke a few things and kept screaming he tried to calm down. I didn’t move an inch or say a word. Everything would’ve made everything worse.. I couldn’t risk that.. I’ve always been on the safe side and I really didn’t want to risk that.. if something would happen to me.. I wouldn’t be able to save Dean.

“Find him. Find him, wherever he is, find him. And bring him here. I’m going to kill him.” he said out of breath looking right into my eyes. I rubbed my neck. If he would've only known that I already did that. But I wasn’t going to tell him that to make him even more angry. I just left quietly and disappeared as fast as I could.

I texted him immediately.

'You better stay where you are. Otherwise he'll cut your head off.'

And since I couldn't stop thinking about Sun I texted her too.

'U good?'

Kingston

He destroyed everything.. I was so close and he just destroyed everything. We all were so close to our damn goal and he destroyed everything. She was going to be mad at him.. get distant with him because he scared her.. but she had a big heart.. he needed to do his ducking best and get her back.. He was so stupid.. how could he scream at a girl like her? How could his heart allow him that?

Even that she cried in front of my eyes made my heart bleed. I tried to show it off but it was tearing me apart.. Dean was really going to pay for it..

Dean

I don't know where I was.. all I could remember were the neon lights.. the lilac neon lights and that girl.. with very long black hair.. the way she chuckled and pulled me towards my car made my head spin. I was totally wasted.. but that was all I needed.. I needed to get myself back together.. that was me. Not somebody who was attached to anybody..

The hotel room and her evil look made my head spin even more. My laugh and her moves matched.. maybe my look was more evil than hers..

Sun

Two days later I woke up later than usually again.. if Moon’s loud ass music wouldn’t have been, I wouldn’t be awake now. Sleeping seemed like the best medicine.

I was too sad and too emotional to stay awake and act happy.. because Dean still wasn’t back.. he didn’t call, answer any of my messages.. or anything else.. I’ve never been so worried.. I was afraid that something happened to him or that he wasn’t going to come back.

“MOON! TURN THE VOLUME DOWN!” I screamed totally angrily from my bed but of course he didn't hear it. I groaned and stood up. I went to the bathroom and screamed when I looked into the mirror. My eyes were swollen and I looked really tired.. I took a quick shower to not look like a dead body. The water made me feel a lot better and more comfortable.. I almost forgot about Dean but I couldn’t.. my head was aching.

As soon as I got off the shower I checked my phone and the sadness hit me again.. there was nothing from him.. nothing.. I kept staring at my screen since he was my lock and home screen.. Then I saw that I got another message of Blake. He already texted me a few times.. but he didn’t know anything about Dean either.. this time my heart started racing again because I hoped that he finally found something out..

He asked me if I was okay. Actually that was very cute.. he was caring more than he needed to and that’s why I was suspicious.. But I still wanted to know about Dean. I sighed and let myself fall on my bed. I could still hear that damn music. I texted him back.

'Kinda.. anything new about Dean?'

He was all I was caring about.. he called me. I sat up and stood up.

“Good Morning..” I said trying to not sound like I died. “Good Morning.. I still don't know where he is..” he sounded the same. I let my head fall back and sighed. I could barely breathe. “He's worrying the hell out of me.” I said. He took a deep breath. This was stressing him too..

The minutes and hours were passing and someone who left with the words 'f**k you.’ probably wasn’t going to come back.. thinking of that made me really nervous... Even if he was going to come back, who knew what he’s done in the time he’s been gone.. It was killing me but I promised myself to not cry.

“I actually planned to try to find him again today.. driving to his favorite places and all you know? You can join me if you want to..” he brought me out of my thoughts.. that was actually a very good idea. I got excited because I already believed that we were going to find him.

“Yes! I already have a few places in mind!”

I said quickly and he told me that he would pick me up in a few minutes so I changed my clothes very fast and dried my hair. I rushed down and just realized that Moon was throwing a party... He and a girl were setting a few things up, very happily and excited. I was wondering about who she was and what was going on... but there was no time to think about it so I just rushed towards the door but he stopped me.

“Sun! Where are you going?” he asked me when I opened the door and he noticed that j was about to leave. “I have a lot to do Moon so please-..” he cut me off. “On my birthday?” he asked smiling with opened arms. My jaw dropped and I slapped my forehead. How could I forget about his birthday? I was so busy with myself that I totally forgot about him.. I was an awful sister.. I was an awful person.

I hugged him “I'm so sorry! Happy birthday! I love you so much!” I said and that made us both smile. “Thank you! But I want you to join the party!” he said looking into my eyes. I could see how happy he was and how much this all meant to him. I didn’t want to disappoint him.. but I couldn’t change it when he looked over my shoulder.. I turned around and saw Blake waving at me from his car.

“I will. I'll come back very fast okay?” I said but he kept looking behind me. “Who's that..?” he asked me with a raised eyebrow. I sighed. “A friend.” I answered. It wasn’t a lie so there was nothing to worry about. Well I guessed that we were friends.

“Okay so.. as long as it's not Dean.. go and have fun..l he was still looking serious. I nodded and left quickly to jump into his car. I didn’t want to argue with Moon about it. I had no time and no nerves for that. Especially not on his birthday.

I looked at Blake and noticed how excited and nervous I was.. Without saying a word he drive down the street and I thought of the places that he liked.. “What's the first place in your mind?” he asked me still looking at the road as if he read my mind. The first place I could think about was our first 'date' where he kidnapped me from school for a few hours.. the day I made him love cotton candy and kissed him for the first time.. the day I kissed somebody for the first time...

I told him where it was and he drove as fast as he could. We didn’t want to lose any time or risk him changing places.. I never thought I would make such an effort for somebody. I hoped that he would be sitting there or walking along the street. It was the first place we went together to and it was beautiful. It made me fall in love with him.. from the first moment on..

I hoped so bad that he would be there. Of course I kept calling him.. of course he kept not picking up. Did he even had his phone with him? It pissed me off so bad that he didn’t answer my calls. I got very mad. I mean we all were worrying about him and he wasn’t giving a damn. To be honest I could understand my dad for the first time in that moment and I regretted screaming at him for that because it was f*****g awful to not know where someone who meant something to you was..

As soon as I was going to find him his ears were going to bleed because I was going to yell at him for the rest of my life. He hurt me me with his words and acted like an asshole again.. he messed up and disappeared totally aggressive.. and I was still on my feet, looking for him. I wasn’t giving up on him. But I was going to also him.

Blake and I kept talking during the ride. I got to know some stuff about Dean... what kind of person and kid he was.. what he really liked and what not.. what they both did when they were kids..

Well the time passed and we arrived.. as soon as he slowed down I got off the car and ran into the direction where the bench on which we were sitting was..