Can't Hate You

Bad boys

Sun

After school I was literally running back home because I was so nervous and excited at the same time.

I couldn't understand how he was capable of making me feel like this. Nobody should have the power to make me feel like this or get me this excited. He wasn't the first boy I gave my number to. Maybe it was because he made is too simple. He didn't flirt, he didn't use a stupid pick-up line or anything else and I kinda liked that he came straight to the point.

I wasn't planning to give him my number so quickly because I never thought he would just ask me on the first day. I never thought he was going to ask me at all. I was so surprised and asked myself when he was going to text me. I really wanted him to text me.. but at the same time I was a little afraid of him.

As soon as I arrived home I rushed upstairs.

"Sun?" I heard mom screaming so I screamed back. "I'm busy, mom!"

I closed the door and tried to control my heartbeat but that was pretty impossible. I was breathing so fast and still shaking. I wanted to scream. Maybe I was this excited because he was the first boy who was this handsome, hot, confident and interesting and interested in me. That was for real the first time I felt that way and I really liked it but it scared me.. he scared me.

I knew that he was no good. What if he was just playing? Just playing? We didn't even have a real conversation. There was nothing. But hat if he wanted to play? What if he was planning it? What if he had a girlfriend? Someone like him just needed to have a girlfriend.

Damn I was already paranoid, tripping and jumping not conclusions. I really needed to keep calm.

But he was a really dangerous and scary guy while I was innocent and boring. Maybe I wasn't his type and was already getting myself into it too fast. I never did something cool, adventurous, dangerous or criminal. I wasn't a savage or a 'bad b***h' who people could have fun with or enjoy spending time with. I wasn't funny or great at all, I didn't even know why I was so popular. He was never going to like me.

Every girl was dreaming of a bad guy.. someone who was hot and seductive. He was that kind of guy and I was sure that he wanted a badass who would look good on his side and play all his games..

I went back downstairs after getting myself back together and changing into some comfortable clothes. Mom was sitting on the sofa, writing her new book. So I slowly walked towards her. I didn't want to bother her but I wanted to talk to her. "Mom?" I asked quietly. She looked at me. "Sun! What happened earlier? You seemed very stressed." she said and waved me over to take a seat next to her.

I shook my head and slowly sat down next to her. How could I ask her anything without making it obvious or letting her know? It would be very dumb to tell her about it because there was nothing going on yet. So I asked "Uhm.. do you have some time?". She put her pen away. "Of course!" she answered and turned to me totally curious. I took a deep breath.

"I wanted to ask you something.." my chin was shaking a little. She held my hand and I swallowed. "How.. how did you fall in love with dad?" I asked. I never asked her this before because I never really thought of it. It's not like I didn't care about it. I just never got to ask it.

She looked at me eyes widened like she didn't expect me to ask her this or like she's been waiting her entire life for me to ask this and so she started laughing.

"Your dad and I.. that's a really interesting story." she smiled and leaned back. I crawled myself next to her and started listening silently. I could see how happy the thought of them made her and that made me really happy.. I loved seeing how much they meant to each other.. listening to her soft words that were filled with love made me feel so calm and comfortable.

"He saved me from doing something really really dumb.. and he was so mean and annoying. He kidnapped me and never let me go. I wasn't complaining in that moment but I hated him." she started and I had to laugh. It was really interesting and weird... but so cute at the same time. Exactly what I wanted.

She looked at the fireplace and nodded slowly.

"He was really difficult... but then we spent more time together and I started falling for him. Although I knew that he was never going to love me, I decided to be patient and I did the right thing with trusting him."

Then she looked at me and smiled softly. I smiled back and tilted my head.

"Just when I thought he would never love me as much as I was loving him... I realized that he's already been doing it the whole time." her voice was so soft. Filled with happiness and satisfaction. Thinking of her past and the beginning with him was making her happy...

I leaned my head against her shoulder and she leaned hers against mine.

"How did he love you?" I asked her and she laughed quietly.

"He died every day to let me breath."

Elijah

"I would die for her over and over again." I said and saw Moon's smile. He asked me about how much I loved Melissa and how it all happened because I was the one who told him to not love so I decided to tell him everything. "She was all I could see. I was and still am ready to kill for her." I continued. He looked down. "And now?" he asked me, looking up again..

"You said she was the only thing you could see.."

"Now I can see other things too. Like you and Sun. Only those who I really love."

Sun

My mom was still talking and explaining but her voice was so soft and clear that I almost fell asleep. I didn't want to seem disrespectful and sleep while she was still talking but my eyelids were so heavy.. As soon as I felt her hand on my cheek I closed my eyes but I had to open them again because I got a message.

I backed off slowly and took a deep breath while mom was watching me. I checked my phone and saw the unknown number.

'Your handwriting is really cute. ;) Do you have more of these pink little papers? -Dean'

I sat up immediately and held my breath. MY hands started shaking again. My heart started racing and I wanted to scream. Mom looked at me totally confused and strange. I wanted to scream. He said that my handwriting is cute.. that was so sweet.

Oh lord, how stupid I was. He said one thing and I already got weak. I was just lie the other stupid girls. I didn't want him to affect me so much or make me feel like I could do anything just to hear his voice. That was ridiculous.

"Is everything alright?" she asked me still confused but I looked at her and smiled. "Everything is fine. Chloe just told me something crazy." I answered nodding. I stood up and kissed her cheek before she asked me another question. I went upstairs and left her clueless.

I needed to think of something that I could text back. Something good.. something that would make me seem interesting. Someone that would keep the conversation going. Minutes passed but I was still clueless about what I should write... was I so boring? It wasn't even such a huge thing. I could take it easy. Totally easy. Noting complicated.

'What if? '

The face palm I gave myself hurt. That seemed like the opposite of complicated to me but just sayin 'aw thank you so much, of course I have more' would seem really really boring and just too easy. But at the same I knew that he knew that I wasn't that kind of girl who was playing. I was acting like somebody that I wasn't. What the hell was going on with me? Why the hell did I want him to like me? I shouldn't even be caring about him. I should be concentrating on myself and school like always.

'Then I want some... more'

His respond made my jaw drop.. These emojis and what he wrote.. made me really nervous because I knew very well that he meant more than only these little sticky notes.. or my handwriting.

I looked down at myself when I felt a weird feeling in my stomach... in my lower stomach..

Usually I hated boys who were texting like this. Like huge douchebags. I never wanted to have anything to do with them because they were a waste of time and always thought they would be better and cooler than anyone but they were just heartless and annoying... but this time.. I kinda liked it. I liked how it made me feel.

I felt the small amount of adrenaline all over my body and liked that it was finally something different in my life. Something that I needed. I needed changes. Something that would get me out of this boring life. Excitement.. and it felt like he was that kind of excitement. It was going too fast and too far for me but it wasn't dangerous, I mean how did other girls do it? I could do it too.

Even if we just had a few sentences, I liked the danger he brought with him. And he was answering so fast that I liked it even more. It didn't take him hours to text back and he didn't give me time to think of taking a step back.

So I texted him back

'Maybe you'll get some.'

'Tomorrow?'

I couldn't help but smile. I didn't know what was going to happen the next day but I was already really excited about it... and then I realized something.

I really didn't know anything about him. Only his name and that he liked my handwriting but nothing else and that actually didn't matter because I had the chance and the time to get to know him.. but there was another problem that was really big for me.

I wasn't that kind of girl who was playing and risking things.. who was flirting and being used by selfish boys like him. I wasn't going to let him play with me. I wasn't going to let him annoy me. Good, mom said that dad was like this at the beginning too but that didn't mean that I had to like it too because I knew very well that his behavior wasn't my type and that I was never going to like it. I wanted someone who would treat me like a princess. Not someone who was scaring me and making me feel some type of way that easily.

He seemed so dangerous and experienced.. and I was still so innocent and soft that I felt a little stupid and small next to him. That was not what I wanted. And what did he mean with 'Tomorrow?'? What was going to happen tomorrow?

God that sounded so wrong... like we were going to do something that we shouldn't. I knew what he really wanted but I wasn't going to give it to him. I realized very fast that I wasn't going to get used to this. I was always going to be stuck in this odd and boring life but that was okay because I felt comfortable like that. I buried my face in my pillow and screamed.

Moon

We got home a little bit later than we planned because he hung around a little bit.. Actually like always. But in the right time for dinner. Dad was really hyped while I was still ready to sleep on the table. I couldn't understand how he was always so energetic.

"Baby! Daddy is back!" he screamed as we walked in. I laughed. "My favorite boys are back!" mom said walking towards us with opened arms. She hugged us both and we hugged her. Dad raised a brow. "Favorite boys? Your only boys I would say." he said and I laughed again.

We wen't straight to the kitchen while mom rolled her eyes and followed us. I loved our relationship.

I sat down in one of the comfortable chairs around the table and dad went straight to the fridge and to come back with Hennessy and hand me a glass. He sat down across from me and filled the glasses. Mom looked at us very disappointed.

"Elijah!" she raised her voice furiously.

"What? Babygirl, he isn't eight anymore, he can't keep drinking milk." he said with furrowed eyebrows like he was obvious. I laughed again. He always made me laughed and I loved that he was calling mom still babygirl. I loved how they were talking to each other. Dad winked at me.

She sighed and after he take sip he asked "Where is my princess?!". He smiled and I didn't even realize that she wasn't around. "I guess she's still in her room." mom answered when she sat the table and Sam came to help. His smile got bigger. I knew how much he loved her and how sad he was that he couldn't spend any time with her.

"I'll go and see what she's doing!" he stood up very happily and as soon as he left I let my head fall on the table and fell asleep.

Elijah

I knocked on her door but didn't get an answer so I slowly opened it and warned her before, in case she didn't hear me.. "Princess? I'm coming in.." I said softly and quietly, walking in but it seemed like she still didn't hear me but when I walked in I saw that she was sleeping. She was laying on her bed crawled into a ball without a blanket. I sighed.

I carefully sat down next to her, trying to not wake her up. I couldn't stop smiling. She was everything for me. She always made me so happy. My own little sunshine. I put a blanket on her so she wouldn't get cold. People where always freezing during sleeping, no matter how warm it was.

I just sat there for a while and watched her. I loved her laugh. Just like her mom's. Every time she laughed I felt like everything bad around me disappeared. Seeing that she was happy made me always feel the best. I felt like every dark cloud above me disappears when she smiled. I was watching her all the time. When she was eating, doing her homework, talking to her friends on her phone, watching tv or doing other stuff. She wasn't aware of that.

I was just so proud and so thankful for having a daughter like her.. I knew that I wasn't the best in showing my love but I knew that she felt it..

Just as I wanted to pull the blanket a little more up, she woke up. She slowly opened her beautiful eyes and looked at me totally confused. "Dad?". I smiled softly. Then I wiped the hair in her face away.. "How do you feel princess?" I asked but instead of an answer she hugged me tightly.. She was always doing that. As soon as I spent a second with her she hugged me.

Moves instead of words. I hugged her back. It's been a long time since we did that.. but I knew exactly how she felt.. I could always feel it.. one touch of her was enough.. so I hugged her even tighter..