Can't Hate You

Only a little love

Sun

I arrived at the address he send me and as he opened the door of the huge mansion, I covered my mouth with my hand. His messed up hair, his sagging shoulders, the dark circles under his red eyes and the wounds showed that nothing was alright. He let me in and I put my bag on the ground.

“Dean?!” I hugged him and my heart started beating faster.

He was shaking... he winced as I hugged him so I backed off very quickly. I felt so bad when I saw the bruises and purple spots on his arms and neck. His eyes were red and swollen.. he looked so broken that it made me emotional.

“What happened to you?” I asked him walking with him towards the sofa. “I’m cold..” was all he said and he was almost stuttering.. seeing him like this almost made me cry.. I’ve never seen him like this. He was always so strong, big and mean.. and now he showed me how he was when he was really broken.. he called me instead of anybody else.

I helped him to sit down on the black sofa. “Okay.. just sit down... I'll find a blanket.. or something that will keep you warm..” my eyes were wet because seeing him like this hurt. I never thought he would need me... “For now you can take my jacket!” I said taking off my jacket. I put it on him...

I had no clue where I could find a blanket. I’ve been there for the first time and I had no clue about anything in this house. I quickly looked around in the house that seemed like it was completely out of white marble.They also had fireplace and bookshelves with trophies and other stuff. Asking myself where his room was I kept looking around.

Then I sat down next to him trying to warm him up with my hands. My body was always warm. “Where is your room?” I asked him and he could barely open his eyes. “Upstairs... t-the third door..left” he answered. I looked up noticing the second floor.

I stood up and rushed upstairs. Then I opened the door and my heart stopped... black walls, black furniture, soft lights, his own bathroom.. so clean that it was almost awkward... no personal stuff. Everything was black.

Unfortunately here was no time to think about his room even if I wanted to check it out more. Being in his room made me feel really weird.. it felt exciting but I really didn’t have time to enjoy that feeling. So I walked towards his bed and grabbed his also black and heavy blanket. I carried it downstairs and it was really big and heavy just like him.

I put it on him and helped him to lay down and put pillows under his head.. Then I sat down next to him and made it more comfortable for him, putting some pillows away and trying to warm him up. Then I put my hand on his forehead to check if he was too warm.

"Oh my god.. Dean you're so cold!” I said looking at him eyes widened. “... tired and hungry...” he continued and I had to smile. I hoped that it was going to make him a little more comfortable... my hand went down to his cheek..

“I need to tell you something..” he said. I furrowed my eyebrows a little worried and confused. I was scared that there was going to be more that would make me almost get a heart attack.

“I’m high..” he finally said and my jaw dropped. “You’re what?” I asked totally shocked. I couldn’t believe him. He smoked weed even though he was so damaged? Maybe that’s why he was damaged.. or maybe he did it because he needed it to calm down because it was obvious that there was more than weed behind this all.. I wasn’t sure why he did it and I was really mad about it. I was really shocked and disappointed but I wasn’t going to say anything about him because that’s not what he needed in that moment..

I bent down and kissed his forehead.

“It’s okay. Don't worry. I'll make you tea... and something delicious, warm to eat. Rest a little bit..” I said smiling softly. He smiled and closed his eyes. I kissed his forehead again and stood up.

Dean

She was like a mom. She was caring so much.. she wasn’t mad at me or asking too many questions. She wasn’t making it complicated. She wasn’t waiting for answers or forcing me to anything. She was just there for me and I didn’t even tell her what I needed but she was already worrying without even knowing what really happened. I told her that I’m high and she seemed upset first but didn’t tell me that. She didn’t make it worse than it was. The way she looked at me showed me how much she was worrying... I was just weak.. even the way she talked... as if I was a baby that needed help.

No girl has ever cared about me that much.. every girl, every one-night-stand, every girl from all the schools I went to.. none of them cared about s**t. They were just whores. But she was nothing like them.. she was the opposite.. she was what every guy needed.. but she was only mine..

Just when she wanted to walk towards the kitchen I stopped her..

“Babe..” she turned around very quickly. I tried to smile... “I love you..” the words rolled off my tongue without any warning and I couldn’t stop myself. In that moment I wanted to kill myself. Why did I even say that? I wasn't even sure what I felt for her. I wasn’t sure if I meant it.. I didn’t want to make her hope..

I wasn't allowed to feel anything for her... even if I wanted.. even if I could control it.. This was so stupid... I wanted to take it back. I just went too far too fast. She was going to think I was really stupid or the weed f****d up my brain. She was going to feel uncomfortable.

First she froze and I thought I destroyed everything.. but then she smiled..

“You're only saying this because you’re not yourself right now.” she laughed and walked to the kitchen.. I was so thankful that she didn't take it serious... although it was the first time that I said these three words to a girl..

I fell asleep while she was cooking and murmuring a song so softly that her voice made me calm down and fall asleep..

Sun

After I finally found all the stuff that I needed, I made him some tea and a delicious soup. I got the recipe from Sam so it had to be good. She used to make this soup for me whenever I was sick or didn’t feel good and it was like magic. So I told her that she needed to teach me how to make it if she wouldn't be there one day.

While doing this all I thought of what Dean said.. he said that he loves me.. he said these three words without hesitation like he’s been thinking about it all the time and the way he looked into my eyes.. like he meant it more than anything.. the way I felt in that moment was unexplainable. I’ve never felt that way. He made me discover new feelings. No one has ever said these three words to me..

And I knew that he didn’t mean it. He was probably going to change his mind later, say that he was joking or he said it because he really wasn’t by himself in that moment. Maybe because of the weed.. no matter what it was, I knew he didn’t mean it because it was kinda hurting to know that someone said these words without actually meaning it..

I came back and saw that he was sleeping and he was looking so sad... he was furrowing his eyebrows even in his sleep.

I put the tray on the table and carefully sat down next to him.

I touched his cheeks that got warmer than earlier and decided to watch him a little bit..

It was obvious that he had a fight.. or that something worse happened. Something that could really make him get weak or destroy him. I was so curious about what it was but I was afraid that he wouldn’t want to talk about it. Maybe it was better like this because if it was something that he didn’t want to remember, I didn’t want to be the one who was going to force him to talk about it.

“Dean.. wake up..” I said softly because I didn’t want to be harsh. It was obvious that he wasn’t sleeping tightly because he already started moving. “Come on big teddy bear..” i continued and couldn’t help but smile. His eyes were still closed but he smiled. He opened his eyes and yawned and suddenly he seemed like a little lion baby to me. I wasn’t sure why but the dangerous boy seemed so vulnerable all of sudden...

When he covered his mouth with his hand I couldn’t stop staring at his tattoos.. from his shoulders down to his wrists..

He sat up and I stood up to put the blanket around him.

It seemed like he felt better than earlier and I was really glad about that because I didn’t like seeing him like this. I’ve never cared about somebody so much and it was the biggest success to see that he felt better.

“All you Need is some tea and a little bit more sleep.” I said smiling. I hugged him but he was still cold. He smiled and that made me feel better.

He started to eat and drink but his moves were really heavy. I seemed like he could barely move.. like he was in pain. I could see that so I helped him.. even though I felt so small next to him and he seemed so huge to me, I loved helping him with simple stuff like this. I was happy as long as he kept smiling.

Some time past, I cleaned everything up and sat back down next to him.. then we were laying down next to each other.. it all happened so naturally and softly that I didn't even realize that we were laying next to each other. I've never laid next to a boy.. I've never been so close to a boy.. it all was making me really exciting.. but I kept talking about things that made me happy or that were funny to me to distract him although I promised myself that I wouldn't talk too much next to him.. but it seemed like it wasn't bothering him this time.

"You truly are a sun..." he said with a soft voice, sliding his finger along my temple. He was even too weak to talk. I was afraid that he was going to fall asleep again even though he needed it.. I only wanted to talk to him a little more. I looked at him a little confused.. "You're bringing so much light into the darkness.." he added and my soul.. my pour soul almost left my body.. what he was saying was affecting me..

"What happened to you? You're never kind.. you don't make compliments." I said and he just kept smiling without saying anything about it and I almost fell in love with his smile and his shining eyes.. this whole moment was so beautiful.. I never thought that I would be in a moment like this one day but I was and it was beautiful...

"Are you in pain?" I asked and laughed him off guard. His smile faded and he furrowed his eyebrows sadly.. he looked at my lips for a second and then back to my eyes. I knew that something changed in that moment. Something important. Like no one has ever asked him if he is in pain.. it was so silent that I almost could hear our heartbeats. Then he finally licked his lips and answered "Yes.." and my heart broke.. he was in pain. Knowing that made me realize how heavy the weights on my shoulders were..

I came a little closer.. slowly like I was asking for allowance.. he pulled me closer so I wrapped my arms around him. he groaned into my neck.. I knew that it was hurting him and I didn't want to hurt him.. but he didn't let go so I didn't do it either. We stayed like that for a while.. and then we decided to play video games. He got better with every minute that passed and seeing how he was blooming made me really happy.

We played Call of Duty or something like that. I wasn't really good but I was learning and after a while I wasn't that bad. Actually I literally killed him a few times and I was really proud of myself. We had so much fun that we didn't even realize how the time passed. After we were done with the games he wanted to cuddle and suddenly I was a little nervous.. maybe because I realized again what was actually gong on. I was alone with him.. at his place.. and he wanted me to cuddle with him..

My heart was beating a little faster than usually.. he wanted me to sit in his lap again but I was still scared to hurt him. I didn't know where he was hurting and where his wounds were so I didn't want to get too close to him but he insisted although I resisted.. I tried to be careful. He wrapped his arms around me. "Is it hurting..? I asked looking down at him totally worried. "A little bit, but it's worth it." he said and I couldn't hold my smile back..

His arms around me felt so good but I knew that he was the one who needed arms around him so I wrapped mine against his neck carefully and leaned my head against his shoulder.

He said things that made me laugh and after a while we were laying next to each other again.. and I realized that he wasn't that bad. He wasn't that mean and angry. He wasn't complicated and harsh... even if he was trying to be rude.. deep down he was a really good person. Someone soft.. who needed love. Only a little love..

Moon

Right after school ended I waited almost hours for Sun. Of course she didn't come. Why? She already left. Where? I don't know. Her phone? Turned off. Me? About to freak out. My dad? About to kill me or her again. And this time for real. Why was she always doing that? Why was she just leaving without telling me where she was going or what she was doing? She wasn't even allowed to leave. How could someone be so stubborn? She wasn't realizing how serious this all was and what it man.

Every time she disappeared we thought one of our enemies got her only to hurt dad and it was a huge deal. I was so angry at her but this time I was going to leave that to dad because I knew exactly that she was with him and I didn't want to be the one to warn her again since I already did that..

I wasn't going to warn her, I was going to handle it.

To be honest I didn't expect her to go somewhere with him again after he disappeared for three weeks. I thought it all would be over and she forgot him.. but the only explainable reason for her disappearing was him.

I went straight back home acting totally calm while I was beyond angry. We were worrying so much and she wasn't even caring about it. She was doing whatever she wanted not realizing how dangerous or whole life was and that she always needed to be careful. This time dad was definitely freak out. I knew it. This time no one saw how she left but it was still all Dean's fault.

God damn I hated him so much that I was really going to kill him one day.. I didn't tell dad about Dean, only because I loved Sun..

Elijah

When Moon told me that she did it again I wanted to break the table beneath my hands. But I tried to keep calm. I needed to keep calm. This time I wasn't going to be able to control myself even if I wanted it.. I was going to make it worse.. Even Melissa wasn't going to be able to stop me. Sun was changing. She was acting weird.. like disappearing all of sudden and not talking that much to me, her mom or Moon like she used to. She was spending the most of her time in her room and her behavior.. her words.. changed.

Of course she was going to grow up and all but it hurt to see how she was changing.. especially why.. I wanted to know what was going on so bad.. I wanted to know everything but I knew that she wasn't going to tel me anything..

Sun

We ended up keeping cuddling and talking... more like whispering... he held me very close and tight. I warmed him up and felt his hands almost all over my body.. that felt good. His blanket was so thick and comfortable that I didn't want to leave him or this place.

I already asked him if he wanted to tell me what happened and talk about it but he said that he wanted to talk about something else so I didn't bother him with it because it seemed like he felt really uncomfortable about it. So we talked about something else.

"Tell me if there's anything you need.. I think you're getting sick." I said with my hand on his forehead. I hugged him and buried my face in his neck. I ended up with sticking on his body.. since I liked his body.. I really couldn't control myself. I wanted to be close to him all the time. It made me feel so good and so comfortable like nothing else.. I've never felt this comfortable before. Nothing else mattered in that moment.. nothing.

"Right now I just need you. Only you." he said wrapping his arms around my back. I couldn't help but smile. I moved and looked at him.. then I noticed the new tattoo on his arm. It was obvious that it was new. An iron rod with blood.. I pointed at it and asked. "What does this stand for?". He looked at it and sighed.. "It.. has a complicated meaning. Every tattoo of mine has a meaning.. ask me about another one.. but not this one.." he said shaking his head slowly. His voice was quiet and raw.. "Do you have any tattoos that don't have a meaning?" I asked and he nodded. "Of course."

We talked and talked... talked about the meanings behind them and when I slid my fingers over them I felt some scars.. but I didn't ask about them yet.

Then I remembered something.. something that one of the girls said..

"Can I ask you something?" I was so sleepy in his arms because he was a soft teddy bear with scars but I was too curious about it.. "Yeah." he said and I took a deep breath and looked at him. "Why would someone call.. someone like you, like in your age... 'daddy'?" I finally asked with red cheeks and totally embarrassed. He raised a brow at me first but laughed then.

"What's so funny?" I asked and he kept laughing. "Why? Do you want to call me daddy or did someone call me daddy?" his voice changed again.. he was seductive again.. playing.. I wasn't sure what do answer. "Why do you think it has something to do with you?" I asked acting cool but he came closer and looked deep into my eyes while only inches were between our faces..

Then he whispered the answer into my ear and made my jaw drop. I was speechless. He just kept looking at me and wiped the hair out of my face while I was totally shocked. I didn't know what I should think about it.. it was awkward but I could understand it and it wasn't that bad to be honest..

"Now tell me.. who called me daddy?" he whispered and his voice was so hot that all the softness disappeared. My whole body was burning again.. he smirked I rolled my eyes and laid my head on his chest so he wouldn't see my face.. "One of the girls.." I answered quietly. He kissed my head and it felt so good...

"Is my baby jealous?" he asked and I got goosebumps. I swallowed and thought about his question. Was I jealous? Yes I was jealous. Really jealous. For the first time. Actually my jealousy was so strong that I wanted to die but I was the one who was laying next to him. "No?!"

He laughed again and that meant that he definitely felt better. "Baby, you still need to lean how to lie." he said and I looked at him totally mad. I gave him a death stare but he gave me a death stare back.. "Don't worry baby.. you're the only one that daddy can see." he winked at me and this time I couldn't hide my smile.

The time past so fast I didn't even remember how and when we fell asleep...