loveless

Takumi Walker

He had always controlled everything. His ancestors controlled everything. They had all the wealth through their well-known companies, which was never failed by any Walker. Instead generation after generation the family gets more massive and ample. They were the beautiful red roses blooming in the middle of a horrid desert. They had everything from looks to intelligence.

The Duke of the family was the strictest and the most exacting. He, who inherited all the major companies and wealth from his late father. Giving his finest leadership at keeping the family’s reputation at its optimum. His fine blond hair had long faded, transmitting a bleached tone. Wrinkles and crimples had already covered his fair skin, dominating his alluring face.

The Duke was gifted with two pairs of roses resembling perfection as his grandsons. A first who he had given all of his affection to, and a second who he had always neglected. Takumi Walker was the second grandchild of the Duke, being treated as the black sheep of the family ignoring his exquisite inheritance. Not many knew about him, on the contrary, no one but the people living in the main residence knew who that perfect young lad was. He was a very beautiful looking youngster, with vast, stretched light blue eyes looking like the calm peaceful ocean in the early morning, hiding many mysteries underneath its cover and airy blond, silky hair tickling his neck lightly, exhibiting its bright mixed colours of yellows.

Ever since Takumi could remember, he was always ordered to follow strict instructions. He would rarely ever see the Duke. His meals were always separated from the family especially if a gathering was held. Takumi would always be locked up in his vast empty room for a day or two every weekend. He wasn’t allowed to leave the mansion or appear in public.

***

At the age of five, he was called to the Duke’s office. Takumi could feel a chill running through his spine, as this would be the first time he could have a proper conversation with the Duke. He dashed upstairs, holding a very wide smile on his small round face. His eyes were brimming with excitement as he walked along the empty halls, in the section he had never been to. Wondering through the dim corridors, he was clueless of which of the foreign doors were his grandfather’s. He finally stumbled upon a butler who had been wiping the doors.

“Shall I be of any assistance, young master?” the butler asked.

“Do you know where my grandfather’s office is?” Takumi asked with a soft fragile voice.

“It’s on the other side of the corridor. Follow me, if you don’t mind.”

Takumi dragged his feet after the butler as he walked back the way he came from. His frown turned into a smile again as he began closing on his target. The butler stopped in front of a very bulky creamy white door.

“Th-thank you.” Takumi stuttered, fixing his gaze on the door.

“I am glad I could be of assistance,” the butler said before leaving.

Takumi took a deep breath trying to gather his courage. His smile turned wider plumping his cheeks. He turned his hand to a fist and reached to the door. He finally started knocking, four knocks as instructed previously.

“Come in,” the Duke ordered with a firm tone.

Takumi struggled to reach the handle but could finally get a grip of it after standing on the very ends of his toes. He pushed open the ample door and stepped inside.

The room was dim with a few yellow lights. It was full of books. Every book shelf was almost reaching the high, brimming ceiling. The Duke was sitting on his desk with a feather pen in his left hand. His desk was full of books and random papers neatly organized into four columns.

“It won’t take long so may stand where you are,” the Duke said not blinking away from his forms. Takumi swallowed his saliva as his lips turned as straight as an arrow.

“y-yes,” Takumi said, turning his hands to small round paws.

“I think it is time for you to start studying. I am hoping that you would take care of your own studies. That is all. You may leave.”

Takumi looked at the floor, permitting his little bangs to cover his eyes. He clenched his fist tighter and finally let go. Takumi looked up with empty eyes. His brows looked very relaxed as he started glaring at the Duke.

“Is this really all that you have got to say?” Takumi blurted.

The Duke looked up at him with daggers, placing down his pen. “Would you mind watching your manners?”

“This is the first time that I ever speak to you. I have a lot of questions to ask. And you are telling me to leave after barely saying anything? I might be young, but I have feelings too. Why do I have to stay locked up here? Why can’t I go play with the other kids? Why can’t I talk and laugh with you like my older brother? What sin did I commit?” Takumi breathed out, holding in his tears as he bit his lip. The Duke smirked, putting his hands on the desk and his fingers tangled together under his chin.

“Its funny hearing a filthy rat ramble about wanting rights like superiors. Let me just give you a hint. Your parents were filthy and you weren’t even supposed to be born. Your life is a mistake. Your existence is a mistake. You don’t have the right to compare yourself with Mikael or wanting rights like his. You should be grateful that you are living under my roof as my grandson.”

Takumi’s feet began shacking as tears started falling down his cheek. He covered his eyes with his arm before dashing out of the room.

He got into his room, slamming the door shut. He threw himself on the burly bed and buried his face in the pillow; letting his tears flow out freely.

I want to be loved.

***

He began studying as instructed. His main sources were the library and the internet. He learned a lot faster than normal, capable enough to be memorizing an entire book in one reading. He soon stopped thinking about his grandfather and trying to prove to him that he was the same as his older brother. He started digging his head in studying and researching; having it be the best method do get his head at ease. He began detesting all the people around himself, preferring to be alone at all times. He never spoke unless spoken to. Like a robot, always saying what he was supposed to as if he had already memorized his lines beforehand. Never putting up an angry or an altered front; never showing a glimpse of his feelings.

He would often sit in the balcony. The only door to the outside. Thanks mother. Thanks to you, I am a nuisance. Just how selfish and ignorant were you? Are you dead or alive? Not like I could ever get any answers. Takumi swallowed his food irritated. He kept his gaze fixed on the pitch black clouds, resting his neck on the chair.

Takumi heard a loud knock on his door. He sighed before clicking his tongue as he stood up from his chair and walked to the door. He held the knob firmly and twisted it before he pulled the door open. A maid was standing outside his room empty handed.

“Do you need something?” Takumi asked.

“I am just here to deliver a message. The Duke said that he would like to see you in his office now,” she said.

Takumi ran his hand through his hair in irritation. What does he want to talk about after twelve years?

“Ok,” he responded. The maid bowed and walked away from his room.

Takumi walked to the Duke’s office, still remembering clearly where it is and the bitter memory of the first meeting. He finally stopped and stood firmly in front of his office. Takumi raised his hand and knocked on the door which didn’t seem that massive anymore.

 “May I enter?”

“Come in,” the Duke replied.

Takumi pushed open the door and got into the same dim room of a decade ago. The same exact lights, books, papers and the seating position of the Duke; the same exact position with a similar pen in his hand and obviously his face deeply dug in the papers.

“I already changed your last name to Hisashi.” the Duke paused placing a passport on top of his desk and sliding it towards Takumi.

Takumi walked forward and held up the passport. He took a look at it before facing the Duke again. It was his’. Am I going to be kicked out of the house now? He scrolled to the first page and looked at his birth date. I guess I turned seventeen today; April 3.  

“You must get out of England in two weeks. I already reserved tickets to japan for you. I don’t want our visitors to see you wondering around the house anymore. It’s truly a nuisance. Maybe you could find your beloved father there— “

“Wasn’t he dead?” Takumi interrupted.

“Ah, yes. I tend to forget futile things. At least you carry his name now and will be going to your birth place. You should be thankful.”

Wonderful. I am getting kicked out of not only the house but the whole country. Takumi rolled his eyes and placed his passport in his grey jacket’s pocket.

“Understood.” He walked to the door and placed his hand on the knob.

“You may not come back before you are allowed to. You have an address to your new home attached to the last page of your passport.”

“Yes,” Takumi said before finally turning the knob and exiting the office.