Her transformation.

She had always been the one who behaved correctly, what was expected was what was given. She was always polite, even to people who she didn't really like much, it was the least one could do. Kept a natural distance from people with whom she knew the chemistry didn't quite work, there was no reason to risk confrontations, besides if they weren’t really her kind, then it didn’t really matter much. She had lived by the statement that you can do no more than your best in the given situation you were in. She always thought of others before herself, but an almost inexhaustible amount of energy when it came to helping others. Her own needs had never really been important. The last few years had been tough on the home front and she had felt drained, metaphorically knocked out, stressed, used up and yet, there were so many things that actually worked. The dream job, at least in terms of content, not the pay, the pay was laughable, but she finally had a job that gave her a sense of accomplishment. On a personal level, she was also in a place where she was quite happy with who she was. she had been single for a few years or rather 4 now but 3 years ago she had stumbled onto him. He had proven to be the one who could inspire her to feel free… a freedom so thoroughly alluring that it kept drawing her back to him. At first it was meant to be just a meeting, just to see if he was anything for her. Something that could satisfy some primitive simple needs, maybe even a repeat offender. He wasn't for her in the long run, she was sure of that, not as she was at the time, tightly bound mentally and action-wise with more ribbons/strings than pinocchio himself. However, he had proven to be the seed to release those bonds one by one, an inspiration that was tempting in a way she hadn't tried before. Some of the things he liked were against everything she had lived by in the past, but that was when she always behaved properly. That was before she had started to release the strings… one by one. She sat at her computer and looked through her e-mails, not really noticing what it was she was looking at, thinking that a lot had changed in a few short years. in a few years she had gone from who she was to who she was developing into. What exactly was she developing into? She let her thoughts flow again, while small fragments from the past years mingled with the memories of the past, and unconsciously held the differences up against each other, and recognized that certain fantasies from the past that she had otherwise kept close to her body, away from the prying eyes of others and opinions, matched pretty well with what she had discovered about herself and her own desires over the last few years, and perhaps also the direct reason why he had been able to penetrate her mind so much. Tempting her, in ways no one else had before, pique her curiosity, in new ways, so that she ended up discovering that the little things she had kept secret from the outside world, were exactly what she longed to experience now, feel, feel, live. How was it that she felt so free in his company and yet so bound, as if she could be the complete raw version in his company and yet put more bonds on herself, his presence than ever before. She wasn't sure, but she had a feeling that if she let herself open up, she might end up falling really hard, and she definitely didn't want that when she couldn't be sure if he would be there to grab her She had actually floated the idea that they could try, try to see if it might work, but he had chosen, he had chosen conveniently, over her… so why did she still feel that he had been made especially for her, she could good to hear for yourself how it sounded, she was older than him, not by much but a few years, the whole feeling that he was made for her, probably mostly recovered from the fact that he had been born, just as her own life had taken a turn from which there was no coming back, her life had then been changed from what it should have been to what it had ended up being. The things that happened then were directly linked to the whole reason she was able to do the things that turned him on and that she had found really turned her on. The ability to disconnect the emotions and just experience s*x for what it was, physical pleasure, amazing with the right ones, the fearlessness that made her just try the things she wanted, go get the motivation, everything had been started by the events that happened around the time when he came into the world. She knew how it sounded and she wasn't going to say it out loud to anyone, but despite knowing that he was in no way ready to give up what he had right now, wasn't interested in a real relationship, then she still couldn't shake the gut feeling that it could be a good match. She wasn't sure if she herself was ready, but she knew that there were a lot of things she wanted to try, which wouldn't feel safe unless it took place in a safe environment with a real partner, not without him. If he never got to the point where he was willing to really get to know her, to see if it might work, then surely she would just park all those things as fantasies that would remain just that. But if he decided he wanted all of her, then she would have to have his help, because she wasn't good at all this relationship stuff at all. She had been alone for far too long and no matter how fearless she could be, there was one thing that really scared her and that was opening up and letting someone else in, really in, she was really afraid of being rejected like so many other people, but her fear of that was so great that she would actually rather end up being alone forever rather than risk being rejected for who she was, because that was when you really got to know someone and they then rejected someone, then it was so much more personal than if it was just about s*x. With pure s*x, there was nothing really to be done about it if someone didn't turn you on, some were into blondes, others brunettes or red hair, some into big breasts, others into behinds, some into slim ones, some into curves, others into chubby and so on, you weren't entirely the master of what turned you on, she could live with that, it wasn't something that could be changed, she looked the way she did and it would be a shame if that didn't turn a man on. It was just something else when they rejected the core of who she was as a person and person. It hurt, really hurt. In meeting him she had meet her Clyde to her Bonnie. A chemistry that only work with him. He could inteice her head in a way like no one else had before and no matter what she did, it was never too much, he made her feel free like no other. To begin with, before she meet him, before he shared his fantasy’s with her, and she realised that it was like he could read her mind.. it was a lot of things she had fantasied about for years, but never acted on. she had always played by the rules, the ones that said only one at a time, even if it had only been s*x, she had always been faithful in relationships, the few she had had were more than she could say his ex-boyfriends. But the rules had slowly changed. She wanted to try things out, no wild extremes, but a bit more on the kinky side, tgings she thought she could not do and be in a real relationship, so she stayed single, things she had over the years m**********g to porn, first as magazines, then on video tapes, which by the way got pretty monotonous when she had only had a few of each, saw the same thing over and over again, but a whole new world had opened up in the last 7-10 years with the advent of the internet. and the world that had opened up through f*******:, singles groups, and later various clubs. You weren't allowed to touch anyone without asking permission first, and we were in the middle of having s*x like: do you want to be licked, do you want me to…. and much more. If someone did something without permission, or crossed someone's boundaries, or did some apps, and experiences, like a tour of the swinger club to see what it was, according to the god, various prejudices about old dirty men were wildly exaggerated, and heaps of s*x , no, here it was the woman's domain, not because you had to be a dominatrix or anything, no, there was a whole set of strict rules that had to be followed if you didn't want to be kicked out, and excluded from mischief and didn't want to stop, then you just had to shout for help, the staff or the other guests in the club would probably have to take care of him or her and throw them out. The whole thing intercede her mind and her fantasy’s her so much that later in the week she decided to try going there on a normal weekday evening, all by herself. She didn't do anything that evening, got a few different offers, from the man in a couple among other things, she politely said no thanks, as she wasn't into women, but he thought that it could be worked out anyway and that it was very unusual that women in the swinger community were not into other women, but the answer was no, I'm brand new in this environment she said. Next time she went , she was a little more daring and tried the room with the big dildo machine, mr. alone though. and later in the evening she was offered to participate together with a couple, they were quite young though, early 30s max, the woman was quite new to swinger coherent like herself, and she said thank you nicely, but that unfortunately she was not to women, at the same time that without thinking about it, she mentioned that it didn't matter if the woman/women touched her, it just didn't mean anything to her, didn't turn on touching other women. They said they would go up to the red room and that they would close the door, another rule you could only participate with others if you were invited, and if the door was closed to a room, you could not go in, but this couple let her in if she wanted to come in, she was welcome to open the door, even if she just wanted to look and then they left, she finished her smoke, the man was incredibly handsome, and n***o, she hadn't tried to be wiht a man like him before, her curiosity won, she walked down the hall up the stairs to the red room, took a deep breath and quietly opened the door a little, they welcomed her and pointed to an ear flap chair in the corner. she walked into the room, closed the door behind her, and sat down in the chair and looked at the couple lying on the leather covered bed, it wasn't long before they invited her to get on the bed with them. She hesitated for a moment, but climbed onto the bed, and joined them. He let the woman touch her small breasts with the always stiff n*****s, fingers that touched her skins, teased then played with a mouth, and tongue, he just looked a little, finally starting his own play on the other breast. One of them zipped down the zipper she had on her crotch and her outfit was transformed into bottomless in seconds, the woman asked if she could lick her, she said yes, she was lying across the bed now, the man had stood next to the bed and saw his girlfriend, licking her, he reached out and touched and played with her breasts as the woman licked her and she was lying with her head half of the bedside and his stiff member was right over her head she reached out and touched him he was hard, he responded by grabbing his c**k and pulling it to her mouth. She opened her mouth and felt him slide in and out as the woman continued to lick and finger her and his hands played and grabbed her breasts. All her senses were awake, her skin, mouth, inside and outside were trembling and it was a crazy, wild arouzing feeling lying there on the bed with her head over the edge giving a total stranger whose name she didn't even know and who didn't speak other than English, a blow job while his girlfriend lay between her legs and licked and played inside her with her fingers. She was so turned on and wished she could turn om a camera, so she could watch it all over and over again later. She was looking forward to telling him about that experience because she knew almost certainly it would turn him on, and she loved knowing that something she had done turned him on, but she wished he wasn't preoccupied with other things that day, and that he had wanted to tell her to come to his house so that he could enjoy her afterwards, that was what turned him on, and her, to be able to tell, or even better show him pictures of it afterwards, but there weren't they, he hadn't even asked her to come home after she shared her experiences with him, maybe he would get there, maybe not, but then it would stop, it didn't do her any good to share pictures, movies in the long run if he didn't participate asked if he could f**k her and she lay there, wet and turned on with her bottom half hanging over the bed and her ankles up on the man's shoulders and his hard c**k right next to me thinking never tried BBC BIG BLACK COOK before then yes he had to. The woman continued to touch her and to lick/suck on her breasts and touch her boyfriend, when she had come, the man pulled out, took off the condom, and she just lay there enjoying the feeling, but she turned her head and saw how the man got his girlfriend over to the side afterwards. That night in the red room ended with the man pulling her down to the foot of the bed, the bed, pushing her firmly down towards the dining table, and taking her hard, and long from behind, alternating between using his fingers and the c**k to make the woman to come loudly moaning and screaming. Afterwards the couple said thank you to her and she to them, they got dressed and she went downstairs into the smoking room and had a smoke before going home and texting him and what she had experienced, it seemed on his messages that whether it turned him on, the thought of it turned her on. And this was just one thing she tried over the last few years, exploring her own Sexuality, finding out what she liked, after a long life with being the good “girl” playing by the rules, it was just one step in her transformation and her s****l liberation, so much more to try, so many others experiences, abut this was of cause not the first thing she tried, there had been other new things she had tried.. a long an very hot road to travel. And she wanted to travel, but she wanted him to join her, she winder while she was sitting there thinking back, weather he would ever get there.. if he would end up falling for her.. if he would give up his “single freedom” and join her travels ..