Frat House Confessions

1. Karrie

One

Karrie

“What are we doing in here?”

“I have a surprise for you…”

I watched everything playing out on the tiny screen of my phone, like a car accident that I knew was coming, but couldn’t tear my eyes away.

The girl with her eyes dancing, all dressed up in her LBD and heels, excited about what she had in store for her boyfriend, was me … silly, naïve, Karrie, who was about to have her heart shattered.

The handsome boy, who we all now knew was a total asshole, was my then boyfriend, Drake. He was about to pull my heart from my chest and hand it back to me.

It had been four months, and I’d had the entire summer to get over it, but for some reason, whenever I got low, I pulled up the video and reminded myself why men could not be trusted.

I blinked back tears and focused on the oblivious girl.

I cringed as I caught my wink toward where I’d set my phone up to record, eager to get Drake’s reaction when I gave him his present.

“Karrie, since we’re alone, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Drake began, and I held my breath as I waited for him to drop the bomb on my unsuspecting self.

“What’s that?” I asked innocently.

I’d literally had no idea that there was anything wrong in our relationship. We’d dated exclusively all of sophomore year after he’d swept me off my feet at the field party after the last softball game of the season.

“I think we should see other people,” Drake said, and a tear slipped down my cheek as I watched myself blink at him, not sure I’d heard him correctly.

“What? Why would we do that?” my former self asked.

“Because we’ve only got two years left of school, and it’s crazy for us to be tied down, don’t you think? I mean, don’t you want to see what else is out there?”

“No, of course not … and neither do you … Drake, we love each other. Please, don’t do this,” I pleaded and I wanted to reach in the phone and clap my hand over my mouth. Urge myself to shut up and not sound so desperate.

“I’m sorry, Karrie, but I can’t do this anymore,” Drake had said, then he walked past me and out the door without looking back.

Unfortunately, I’d forgotten all about the video I’d been recording, so there was ten more minutes of footage where I cried my eyes out. I mean, full-on snot bubbles and all.

I never watched that part. I didn’t need to. I knew it was there, and that was humiliating enough.

“Please tell me you’re not watching that video again.”

I looked up to see my roommate, Ermina, glaring at me from the kitchen.

I quickly exited out of my videos and dropped the phone on the couch.

“Karrie, why do you do that to yourself? Drake is a total douche, don’t let his actions keep controlling your emotions.”

Ermina was studying psychology and I was her favorite test subject.

“I’m not. I just needed a reminder of why men are pigs,” I replied.

Ermina sighed.

“All men are not like Drake and you need to stop lumping them all together. You’re going to find someone to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

“Right now, I’d just settle for making Drake see what a mistake he made, then shove his face in it.”

“You’re better than that,” Ermina chastised.

“You know, I don’t think I am,” I countered, but she just laughed.

I noticed she was dressed up to go out and asked, “Where are you off to?”

“Well, as you know, it’s rush week, so I planned on heading out to a party so I could study the animals in their natural habitat … maybe find a topic for my research paper. Wanna join me?”

She asked it reluctantly, and I knew it was because I’d said no every time she’d asked me to do anything over the last four months.

It’s time for that to change, I decided and stood up.

“You know what, I will go with you,” I replied, and her jaw dropped.

“Really?” Ermina asked, her voice conveying her excitement.

“Yeah, let me throw on some shorts and I’ll be ready.”

She looked down at my favorite T-shirt and ratty sweat pants, then up at my hair, which was pulled up in a bun, and said, “I can wait while you put some clothes on, maybe do your hair and makeup.”

“Nah, I’m good,” I replied, pushing my glasses up my nose, not caring what I looked like.

I just needed to get out of this apartment … maybe have a drink, or ten.

I hadn’t gone to a party as a single woman since Drake and I’d broken up and hadn’t been to a party without him in over a year.

“Okay, as long as you get out of the house, I’ll take you however I can get you,” Ermina said, and I blew her a kiss.

“I’ll be ready in five.”

Three minutes later we were out the door and headed to Greek Row, ready to mingle with the elitists and the poor underclassmen who desperately wanted to join them. I didn’t care about fraternities or sororities, how they acted or what went on behind closed doors, all I cared about was free booze and wiping Drake from my memory.