Thoughts #1
It's 4 in the morning and I was scrolling on my t****k because I don't feel like falling asleep. I stumbled on this video of Boy Abunda interviewing Kisses (an actress), she was asked "What fear do you have that you would like to conquer? And why?"
Then she answered "The fear that I would not be loved for exactly as I am. I feel that sometimes I intimidate too much that I like. I feel like there's no one for me sometimes because I'm a lot of things. I hope I conquer that because I know time will come, the right person will come, I would never have to doubt that all along I wouldn't have found him"
While listening to her talk I found myself agreeing to everything that she says.
I know that I'm a difficult person. I agree that sometimes I'm a high maintenance, that it's hard to understand what I'm thinking. I'm a walking paradox. And many people would get along with me without actually knowing who I really am because I naturally blend to them well.
I have a tendency of adjusting myself to their behaviors and attitudes that if I only show them I'm kind they would only know I'm kind, I accidentally blind them to not see the true nature of myself and that what makes me afraid that I'd only show the person I like what I want him to see.
Because I worry that I will not be accepted for who I exactly am.
But I do believe that if that person really loves me, all my faults and flaws will be filled. I'd be seen, the me only I know of. I'd be exposed.
And If I ever will I hope that person will last.