Chapter Eleven
It was really getting hard to read her but one thing was certain to me. She was not lying about not having paid the rent!
“Do not dare anger me. I was going to pay it with the money that you were making to day. You think I was going to let that opportunity pass me by? I had things to do!” She says to me and I just look at her absolutely flabbergasted.
Wow, this was absolutely ridiculous. I cannot believe that she had actually done this again. She had actually managed to stress me out even more than I was already stressed out. At least I thought the rent was covered. At least I thought that when I was going to be stressed about the fact that I was not able to reduce the loan that had me in this predicament, then at least I had a feeling that I would have a roof over my head.
Bill had said that if we do pay for two months and he would be a little more lenient and let us pay the rest in installments, but that is not what's going to be happening at this point. Not anymore. Not when she had failed to at least even reduce the amount with the money that I gave her yesterday, after trying my hardest to get as many tips as I could, working my ass off when I did not get the client but Gino was bringing to me.
It was absolutely exhausting, tiring living with this one and I was retired and I really not want to be in the situation anymore. But I just felt stuck. What else was I to do? I don't know what you want me to do. I say to her and she just loves what I want you to fix it, Go back to the client, do something, make sure that you are what he needs. She says to me and I just shake my head at her nose. It's not going to be happening, I'm not what he wants, I could not do it, I'm not like you. I say to her and she just stares at me with widened eyes.
“ Yes, you're clearly not like me. What kind of girl in your dire situation is not able to use her body to get what she needs? Just a stupid one. Because I'm telling you right now, the reason we are still here, the reason that I had this house in the first place is because I had to make sure that I'm able to use mine and you can't do it. It is the most simple thing or not!” she says to me, and I really have no words for what she's telling me right now. What kind of mother could actually sit and say the things that she was saying to me right now?
It took so much out of me not to hate her every single day because honestly, as much as she was annoying, as much as she was the reason my life was a mess. Like I said, she was still the only family I had and I just had this thing that wanted me to hold on to her because then I would have no one. I would have no family at all because everyone hated us.
They were in the family hated us. The family that we had in a city so far away did not want anything to do with us. It did not matter what we were going through. It did not matter what I was asking for. They did not want anything to do with me either because of her, simply because of her. Because there is no time that I had gotten one of my family members to help me out with something. She went and made sure that it would all get ruined, asked me to steal something, asked me for the address so she could go and steal something like that. So you know she's not going to be working at this point.
“All right, I am not going to put up with this.
You will deal with him the next time that you see him. I'm going to make feel like I did not encounter him”. She says to me and I look at her.
“ Absolutely not, because you're the one that not want to pay him”
. I say to her yelling and she immediately raises her finger in front of my face.
“Never ever yell at me in this house, do you understand?” She asks and I just go silent. I just don't understand why you make our lives so hard. I say to her and she suddenly covers my lips. She's coming. She says before grabbing me and making sure that we are both seated right below the window where nobody that is looking into the house would be able to see us.
I was trying my hardest to be silent, but the sobs were trying to come. My tears were pulling in my eyes and I was trying my hardest not to let them out because I really do not want to be having a sobbing session right in front of her right now. Not when I was saying great or not when I was really tired of it all. I was tired of crying. I was tired of the tears that I had to keep crying every single time because she refused to just do everything that she had to do because she refused to be a proper mother and let me have a life that I deserved.
“Well my darling, he better be very quiet.” She whispers in my ear and immediately banging on the door is banging for a whole minute before he starts talking. I know you are in there. Bill starts and immediately the tear falls down my cheek. My mother just stares at me and rolls her eyes when she realizes what's happening. I really do not even think I can cry in front of her right now so I wipe my tears and take deep breaths just waiting it out like she expects us to.
Waiting it out takes an entire hour because he keeps passing around the house and making threats, talking about how he's going to make sure that the next time that he's comes back, he's going to kick us out. And I really do not want to be in the situation. About the last thing I needed was this. I really hated my mother for doing this. Right now. I just wanted to go to bed and instead I was here waiting for our landlord to leave so I could actually be able to do it.