Hidden Layers

Fault

‘A service that is not in play’

My brother spilled his guts to me few days ago and I could not tell him what I have been going through, my house has never been a home. How do I tell him both him and mum were right? That looking back I realise Kat is an opportunist, once Aria came into the world, I sensed getting pregnant was just a way to get me to marry her before I saw the real her. Though I ignored so many things for the first five years-which by the standard of a monk was a lot, when she was in college and when she started working, she never cooked, she did not breast feed Aria, she hardly carries her, she wanted the good things, she liked s*x, she liked going out, loved been the centre of attraction. It was just like having your mistress live with you, everything was about s*x and it clouded most of my decisions, once I complained she apologises with s*x and that was all till I stopped complaining and just lived that way and I was not happy. The cheery on top was she hated my family, she could not stand Ryan, she stayed clear of him like a plague.

Then I asked us to try for another baby and it never came for close to five years, then she started becoming distant and we fought a lot. After a year, I told her we could just go with the flow and if a baby comes-fine. I made her know I was not putting pressure on her but now she already made a name for herself in the PR space and she was hardly home.

I should have divorced her a long time ago but I could not let the world see that I was a failure, I ran a company worth hundreds of billions and I could not keep a marriage? What will happen to Aria? It was obvious it was just my daughter, brother, mum and niece that genuinely cared about me, Kat could not be a mother talk less of a wife, she was not even my friend. Our marriage went from a great spark in the first year to mistress mode for the next 4 years then roommate with benefit in the last five years.

When Aria was a baby, she would leave our daughter for long hours with a nanny claiming she had stuffs to do in school, she would come back home, check up on Aria for 5 minutes, she hardly ever carries her but now she never says a word to her. Aria tried for a long time to gain her love and attention and it never worked, when she clocked six, I asked Ryan to bring his daughter to stay with us so Aria can have company. Cara stays from Monday till Friday Morning and spends the weekend with her father except he has to leave town sometimes Aria also spends the weekend with them. When I have to leave town, they stay with him but I rarely travelled during the week, I move my trips till Friday Morning and ensure I am back by Monday evening.

I remember scaring her with divorce two years ago, that she had to do better especially for Aria and I let our nanny of eight years go, gave her enough money to do something on her own. Kat struggled for two weeks and gave up then she begged me that I should give her time to adjust, till now she hasn’t, I cook most of the time, she pays a chef once in a while to help with that too. The last straw was asking us to go see a therapist and she missed three sessions, last week I took time out of work to spend time with her because I knew she was under the weather and was asked to stay at home. But she was always sleeping or pretending to sleep, I got frustrated and went to my study, I remember I asked Frank for help to get the best phone in the market for Kat last Christmas because I was too busy to shop at the last minute, I asked him to clone the phone. She takes a lot of private calls and I had a feeling she was cheating on me; I have never checked the backup, I started putting in the password and decided I was not going to like what I saw.

Then I woke up today and she was gone, no note, no text messages, then I want to the system where the backup was synced to and typed in the password, apparently, she deletes most of her messages. I saw a message to her friend that she was home because she was treating a STD, we have not had s*x in twelve weeks so I doubt I had it but I made a mental note to go for a check. I thought that was all, then I saw a message from an unsaved number;

??: Want some early morning f**k on my yacht? You can go to work from there

Kat: Sounds like fun!

The b***h even used an exclamation, I was furious and I have been waiting for her all day, I ensured the girls were asleep and it was just the perfect time, I called my lawyer after I saw that message and asked for how to proceed with a divorce then I called a PI Frank works with to dig up what he can on Kat. I was sitting on the steps in front of the door, I am the first thing she was definitely seeing when she opens the door, I was half way a thirty-year-old scotch, I took it from dad’s stash the last time I went to check on the family house-mum went on a world tour with her twin, she should be back just in time for my brother’s birthday.

I clocked thirty-eight in January and it hurts so bad that I had to waste ten years with someone that never cared, I wasn’t a fan of my father but he will be rolling in his grave at my frail heart. Ryan had all the fun in the world, in fact he is a known man w***e and it looks like he has a silver lining right now, I have always been about commitment, Kat was the third woman I was ever with. I did not have s*x until I was nineteen, I thought being a gentleman will attract good women but man I was damn wrong, it definitely does not depend on that, it depends on you to be able to identify a good woman even under the layers of pretense.

‘Hi Jay’ I look up as she shuts the door ‘Why are you sitting on the stairs with an almost empty bottle of scotch?’

‘Did you ever care about me Kat? Though it’s obvious you don’t care about Aria’ she definitely was not expecting that question and she froze, the look on her face was enough ‘Why didn’t you spare me the pain Kat? I would have sent you to school and do everything you wanted just for being Aria’s mum’

‘hm…hmm’ she drops her bag on the floor ‘I thought it would work out’ then she moves closer and raised her voice ‘You freaking insisted I married you!’

‘Don’t raise your voice Kat, the girls are asleep’ I gulped my drink ‘You never said No, if you did, I would have found out why’

‘I really don’t have time for this Josh’

‘You should because I want a divorce’

‘What?’

‘Really? I don’t want to continue to hope you would love me one day, its obvious it will never happen and also you can have all the freedom you want’

‘You don’t have to tip toe around me to f**k people, you can do that openly and own it and its obvious you don’t want children’ I stood from the stairs and walk towards her ‘I can bet my life on it that Aria was a mistake because you never planned on telling me’

‘You freaking had to eavesdrop, that was on you Josh because I tied my tubes a long time ago’

‘What???’ I was brought up not to hit a woman but this freaking hurt, this b***h was the queen b***h ‘Kat I want you to leave this house first thing tomorrow morning and you are not entitled to take a pin with you even that car, you signed a prenup, thank God my mum and brother were smarter than I was’

I head upstairs and change my shirt, use a cologne, grab my car keys, wear a sneaker and head downstairs, I saw her typing on her phone and we ignored each other. I was about to step out when I looked back ‘You know not to take Aria right? Because you were just a damn surrogate’

I slam the door and head to my car, I am not sure where I am heading to but definitely not s*x cave, I don’t have time for Chad’s tease right now. I head to Chloe’s, really thinking of been a bad boy tonight but over the years I have realised its not the way I’m wired regardless of how hard I tried. My PA’s cousin has seduced me for years, I was tempted once in a while but I pride myself in having self-control. I find my way to the VIP session, I would have loved to call Ryan but he was not in town and he will not be back till his birthday, I was stuck with my thoughts and a glass of scotch. Someone sits beside me and I refused to look at her then she whispered in my ear;

‘You have been avoiding me for a long time Josh’

I can’t believe this crazy lady is here, I gave her a tight smile as the waiter walks up to me, l stood up to pay and head out without giving her a backward glance. I knew she was following me; I was about to enter my SUV when I turned back and she gave me a sexy look.

‘Lola stop trying so hard, I will never be interested’

I knew I gave her that hard look I inherited from dad, I rarely used it except when I was displeased at work, Kat did not get it tonight because I was done been displeased, I was totally done. I enter my car, start the engine then my phone rings, it was Brit-who started out as Ryan’s assistant and walked her way up to add more roles. I noticed she calls me at least twice a week and we end up speaking for a minimum of two minutes, I don’t know how this happened but she has become my phone buddy. I was relived to hear her voice and we spoke for about ten minutes; she knows my marriage with Kat was a mess. She heard us quarrelling in the pantry when we had dinner at the family house last Christmas, I walked out and almost bumped in to her, she never spoke about it but started calling me the next day and we have been phone buddies ever since. To be honest I wonder what she wants sometimes but she tells me about her dating tales so I know she was just being friend.

J: ‘I’m getting a divorce Brit’

B: ‘What?’

J: ‘I’m tired, I just want to be happy’

B: ‘Wow, happy to know you are doing what’s best for you and Aria’ I hear her sigh ‘I will be here if you need me, just call Josh at any time’

J: ‘Thanks Brit, just don’t tell Ryan yet’

I would have loved to go anywhere but home, I wish Ryan did not keep changing his security code like a maniac, I can’t believe ten years with a woman has been filled with mystery and pain. I grew up in a happy home at least till I was fifteen and Ryan was thirteen then dad joined this crazy club and he went wild then I practically had to step into helping out in the house to make mum happy. I vowed never to treat a woman that way, make her unhappy while with me, I was the responsible gentleman but I was the one who ended up been hurt. Sometimes I wish I had had fun a little, went through several women to understand them but I wasn’t wired that way, I practically stepped into the shoes of CEO when dad died when I was eighteen, the company was worth millions of dollars and it was a lot of work. I did not have the luxury of fun and I combined that with school and ensuring Ryan keeps out of trouble but now I feel like I am finally free to breathe and enjoy some adventure.