Lisa Jordan

But Before You Know It

Lisa Jordan sat in her courtroom, trying to focus on the proceedings, but her mind kept wandering. It had been a long time since she was able to indulge in her favorite sport: killing. She used to do it with a friend, and the first time she experienced that rush of getting caught, she was hooked. But before Lisa became Lisa, she lived in a small shack on the outskirts of Washington DC with her parents and a mean, bossy grandmother who constantly belittled and abused her. One day, while playing with cars outside, her grandmother suddenly lifted her up by her hair and beat her for leaving a sock on the floor. That night, when her parents returned, they noticed Lisa's unusual silence and asked if everything was okay. Afraid of her grandmother's presence, Lisa simply said she didn't feel well and went to bed. It was clear that Lisa's grandmother's constant abuse had taken a toll on her mental and emotional well-being. After being ushered out of the sight of her evil-spirited grandma, in the safety and protection of her mother, she simply asked her one thing?

Moma? Yes baby what is it? Why does grandma hate us so much?

What are you talking about, grandma? Do not hate us? Now come on, lift your arms, so I can take off this filthy shirt. Yes, she hates you and me? OUCH! Moma, that hurt? Calm down. What has gotten into you? When she turned her child around, her mouth fell to the floor, and she had begun to cry a stream?

She grabbed the child and hugged it tight and the child screamed in pain.

I am so sorry. I can't believe she could do such a thing Paul, Paaaaauuuullll crying for her husband,

Moma, why did Grandma say she hates me because I am my granddaddy's son? What is that?

Paul flies into the restroom, and he sees why she had screamed for him. Taking the child into his arms, Patty storms out of the bathroom and right up to her mother.

Her mother sat at the kitchen table smoking her long slim rolled cigarette, and when she saw her daughter coming she just looked up at her from her chair.

Moma, how could you do that to my baby? Without even thinking?

Patty drew her arm back and slapped her mother. She slapped her mother so hard her nose bled, Thelma wiped the blood with the back of her sleeve, Patty was so angry. Her judgment was gone?

You evil woman, how dare you touch my child, how dare you? What gave you the notion that that would ever be OK?

Because that is half my husband's children too? Your own daddy, right, you had that bastard child with your very own flesh and blood? You discuss me?

Who do I discuss with you? You act like I wanted to have a baby with my own father? Well you did though, did you not?, ain't that little bastard there is that you and your own blood baby partly belongs to you but your daddy, that be his own seed.

You evil wicked woman? You stood there at my door all those years, and you watched your husband, my father, come into my room almost every single night and do all those unspeakable things to me and to my sisters?

Now you watch your mouth, don't you dare speak to my babies, don't you dare?

Your babys? Your baby's momma. Do you hear yourself? You actually act like a caring mother, I said almost? Because why are my sisters not here, mom Hun? What ever happened to them, moma mom, let's talk about that, Hun?

Now you are going way too far?

OW am I? Come on moma, let's talk about what happened to Brenda? Or what about Carla Momma? What happened to Carla MoMA? You better shut your lying tramp face? Why moma, don't you want no one to know what really happened to my sisters now, do you? Well, moma, it's too late. You went too far.

Paul, Paul?

Yes pat.? Where is my baby?

In the car?.

Good because we will be leaving soon.

OK, I'll get our things.

Wait? I want you to hear this too.

Paul stood in the kitchen entrance looking from Patty to Thelma with his arms folded over his chest.

Remember when you asked me was I an only child and I told you yes? Yeah? I lied?

Patty, I don't understand what's going on?

I lied because now I am an only child thanks to this evil woman sitting there?

Paul, I was never the only child I am now, but I was not born in a family alone.

I have three other sisters. There was my oldest sister, Brenda. You would have loved her. God knows I did. I miss her almost every single day.

One day when I was about seven, I heard her and momma arguing because she was pregnant. She ran away, and he found her and took her back home.

Momma was jealous because she tried to make herself beautiful but daddy ignored her like he always did and went and had s*x with Brenda. When Daddy was done, he left for the bar. I climbed into bed with Brenda and held her in my arms as she cried. I must have fallen asleep when I woke up. Momma was leaning over her with a bloody razor in her hand? I pretended like I was only turning over, but I did so she would not notice that I saw her. When I woke up the next day, I shook her trying to wake her, but she wouldn't move. I jumped up and woke my other older sister, Lilly. She and Brenda were thick as thieves. I tell you she just held her and rocked back and forth with her lifeless body in her arms. I sat next to her and we just cried. The police and Corona ruled it suicide.

The same day that Brenda was murdered by our own mother, Lilly killed herself about a couple of hours after they took Brenda away.

She went and got a sheet off the bed and tied it to the oak tree in the backyard? That was her and Brenda's favorite place to tell secrets and sometimes they would climb all the way to the top because they knew that daddy couldn't get to them while they were up their. Brenda had told me one day. When Daddy got sick of her and Lilly, he would come for me and Carla. Carla was my baby sister. She was the smallest thing you could have ever known. She followed me around no matter where I went. Anyway, I went looking for Lilly in the back. I knew she would be in the tree. When I got to the tree, I saw her. Dead she had hung herself and pinned a note to her clothes with a letter for me.

Before momma came outside cause she heard me screaming, I had taken the note off and was holding her legs while she was swaying in the breeze? I can still hear myself telling her?

Why did you leave me here with them? Why did she not take me and Carla with her, why did she have to be so selfish? And I told her?

I am too afraid to do it myself, but I would have let her kill me had I known she would leave me alone.

After that it was only me and Carla left to be daddy's s*x toys, I couldn't even protect my sister like I promised her I would. When I was eleven and Carla had just turned eight. I had a psychotic breakdown. I tried to control myself, but I couldn't. I knew that I would hate myself forever.

When I returned a month later, Carla was gone. Daddy had killed Carla by penetrating her too hard one night after a drunken day at the bar. She is buried right in the back.

Just then Thelma stood up and walked out the room.