Chapter 19
2758 Words
Chapter 19
"Shhh, I'm here. Seeing and hearing your sobs hurt me but I can endure, kung yan ang ikagagaan ng loob mo" he said.
Nakayakap lang siya sa'kin habang inaalo ako. Walang humpay ang pag-iyak. I don't know if my Mom is aware of this matter. If she didn't I don't know how to tell her that we are loosing our company but I bet she knows.
"I-I'm a fail-lure" I said while sobbing.
"No, love. Don't say that. You're not a failure. It's not your fault that your f*****g uncle stole your money" mariin niyang sabi.
Gaano man kariin ang pagsasalita ni Raf ay kabaligtaran naman 'yon ng marahan niyang paghimas sa likod ko. Punong-puno ng pag-iingat.
Nang medyo kumalma na ako ay humiwalay na ako ng pagkakayakap sa kanya. He maneuver the car and drove for us.
Hindi ganoon katagal ang biyahe pabalik sa'min dahil siguro sa pagkatulala ko. Hindi ko na siya naintay dahil nauna na akong bumaba. Walang pakalat-kalat na mga kasambahay. Ganoon pa rin, katulad ng pagdating ko kahapon. Tahimik ang bahay na animong walang taong nakatira dito.
Ang naririnig ko lang ay ang tanging tunog ng aking heels. Mabagal ang bawat lakad ko. Ninanamnam ang bawat paglapat ng paa sa kahoy naming sahig.
We're not losing this house right? We will loose our company but not this house! I can't afford to loose this. There are a lot of memories here when I was a child.
Growing up, ito na ang bahay na kinagisnan ko. I'm not maarte, I can live with a not so spacious house but this have a sentimental value for me, not just me but also for sisters, my dad and especially for my Mom.
Habang nasa kalagitnaan na ako ng hagdan. Mayroong brasong lumapat sa balikat ko kaya napapitlag ako.
"You're spacing out. It's just me, love" mahinang usal ni Raf..
Inaalalayan niya ako paakyat sa kuwarto ko. Inihiga niya ako at kinumutan. He started to caress my hair slowly. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam ng ginagawa niya. Hindi ko namalayang nakatulog ako dahil sa marahan niyang paghagod sa buhok ko.
I woke up early in the morning with my eyes a bit swollen. Habang tinititigan ko ang mukha kong stress sa salamin ay marahan ko itong hinawakan.
"You can do it, Cerene. You're strong" mahina kong usal.
Pagkatapos kong titigan ang sarili ko ng ilang minuto sa salamin ay mabilis akong naligo at pumili ng simpleng itim na blouse at pants. Pumwesto ako sa harap ng vanity mirror at muli na namang tinitigan ang mukha ko.
I look pale but I still look beautiful as always.
Bumuntong hininga ako at naglagay na ako ng light make up para matakpan ang pagkapale ng mukha ko.
Today, dadating na si Mommy kasama ang mga labi ni Daddy. I can't help but to feel sad. Hindi mawala ang bigat sa dibdib ko.
Matapos kong mag-ayos ay lumabas na ako ng walk in closet ko at nakita ang kagigising lang na si Raf. Nakatulala siya sa may bintana ko. Hindi ko makita ang mukha niya dahil nakatalikod siya sa puwesto ko.
Dahan-dahan akong naglakad patungo sa kanya at niyakap siya ng marahan patalikod. The warmth of his body gives me peace. Napakasarap sa pakiramdam. All my problems and stress go away.
"Thank you for staying by my side" mahina kong sambit.
My voice is very sincere. I am really thankful because Raf never leave me. Sinasamahan niya akong harapin ang problema kong dapat sa akin lang.
After our moment nag-ayos na din siya at bumaba na kami para magbreakfast. Naabutan ko ang dalawa kong kapatid na malumbay na kumakain sa dining.
The sounds of the untensils lang ang maririnig. I sighed deeply and continue walking towards them.
I can't greet them Goodmorning coz we all know that our morning is not really good since yesterday.
Time flies so fast. It's the last day of my Dad's burial and I didn't expect that I can see them here.
Ang kakapal ng mukha!
"What are you doing here?" I said with full of hatred with an innocent woman standing behind my father's casket.
I saw her bowed her head dahil na rin siguro sa kahihiyan. Beside her is a mid 40s lady that resemble her features pero taas noo akong nakatingin sa kanila.
"Nakikiramay kami Cerene" she said with a very low voice.
Ang kapal naman ng mukha nila. After her father and her husband stole our money. Ang lalakas ng apog nila pumunta sa burol ni Daddy.
"Get out of here. We don't need you two here" kalmado ang boses ko dahil ayaw kong mag-iskandalo sa burol ni Daddy.
Madali namang kausap ang dalawa at nakatungo silang umalis. Napahawak ako sa sintido ko at huminga ng malalim para kalmanhin ang sarili ko.
I can't burst out my anger towards them. I failed in so many things this past few days at ang matiwasay na lang na burol ang maigaganti ko kay Dad.
"Who are they?" nagulat nalang ako ng may umalalay mula sa likuran ko.
"Nothing, they're just our relatives who has thick faces to went here after their family stole our company's money" I said in frustation.
Inalalayan niya ako paupo. Kakaunti ang tao ngayon. Halos ilang kakilala lang. Wala ang mga kapatid ko at si Mommy.
My sisters went home earlier to change their clothes and my Mom is busy to I don't know. Hindi ko na alam.
Masyado na akong lutang sa nangyayari sa paligid ko. Hindi ko nga namalayan na mayroong lumang tumulo na naman at napansin ko lang yon ng mayroong thumb na humaplos sa pisngi ko para palisin ang luhang yon.
"You're crying again" mahinang bulong ni Raf sa tainga ko.
"Can't help it. I'm so down Raf. I'm sorry if I'm such a crybaby." I said with a low voice.
Maghapon lang akong nakabantay sa harap habang pinagmamasdan ang nakaburol na si Daddy. Raf is staying with me. He never leave me. Talagang lagi siyang nakabuntot sa'kin at nakaalalay.
I'm really lucky to have this man. I coudn't ask for more. Hindi siya nagrereklamo sa sitwasyon ko at lagi niya akong iniintindi.
Since it was my Dad's last day. Maraming nakiramay noong gabi. His close friends and his business associates. Maging ang mga empleyado ay nakiramay. Si Zoila at ang pamilya niya ay pumunta din. Hindi niya ako masyasong nakausap dahil masyado akong occupied but her presence here is enough.
Ang Chapel na pinaglalagakan niya ay halos mapuno na. Halos wala akong tulog hanggang kinabukasan. My sleep is just two hours I think.
Ito na ang araw na pinaka ayokong mangyari. We are now at here at the cemetery. Unti-unti ng ibinababa sa lupa ang casket.
"Albert" my Mom cried in agony.
Clover is caressing her back. Calming her down while my sister is also silently crying. On the other hand Courtney is just bowing her head but I can clearly hear her sobs.
She throw a flower sa casket ni Daddy. Nanginginig din ang kamay kong sumunod na maghagis ng bulaklak.
Nag-unahang magsilabasan ang luha ko. Hearing my classy Mom sobbed and calling my father's name really hurt big time.
"I'm here, love" Raf whisphered.
Unti-unti na nagsisiuwian ang mga tao. They said their condolences and my mother is just nodding her head.
She can't speak habang nakaalalay sa kanya si Clover. My sister didn't came. Hindi man lang siya nagpakita sa'min.
I emailed her but I got no reply. Her social media accounts are also deactivated. We can't reach her. My Mom also didn't ask about her.
Tahimik lang kami habang inaayos ng suporturero ang tomb ni Daddy. Hindi rin kami masyadong nagtagal at umalis na doon.
Tahimik kaming nakarating sa bahay. Masyadong tahimik ang lugar at ang mga yabag lang namin ang naririnig. Mukhang wala sa sarili si Mommy na umakyat sa taas samantalang kami ay naupo sa living room.
Namayani ang katahimikan.
"Did Ate Cela contacted you Clover?" I ask, breaking the silence.
She just shook her head and now I am eyeing courtney. I shot my brow and she shook her head too.
I sigh heavily. Akmang tatayo na ako ng biglang magdilim ang paningin ko.
"Is she okay Doc?" I heard my Mom's voice.
"She's fine Mrs. Menesis. She's just stress" rinig kong sabi ng Doctor kay Mommy.
Nakarinig ako ng yabag at nagsara ng pinto kaya nagmulat na ako ng mata. I saw the doctor fixing her things.
"Oh you're awake now Ms. Menesis. You fainted Ms. Menesis because of stress. Lack of sleep din" she said.
"I'm okay na Doc. I'm feeling better" I said.
"That's great Ms. Menesis. Halos dalawang araw ka ring tulog. Maybe you're really stress and I'm sorry for your loss" she said sincerely.
I just nodded. Nagpaalam na rin daw siya dahil mayroong emergency sa ospital.
Raf isn't here. Maybe he went home. Mabuti na rin naman yon para makapagpahinga siya. Lagi nalang niya akong inaasakit. Feeling ko I'm such a burden na.
My feeling today is light so I just went to the bathroom to took a bath and after that I wear a comfy clothes.
Pababa na sana ako ng hagdan nang makasalubong ko ang isa naming kasambahay.
"Ma'am gising na po pala kayo. Nasa library po si Madame. Kausap po sina Attorney." she informed me.
Tumango lang ako at dumiretso muna sa kusina. I'm hungry kaya kumain ako kung anong makakain doon.
After that, umakyat ulit ako para puntahan si Mommy sa libabry. I want to know everything. I know we're running out of money. Hindi ako manhid.
Kumatok ako ng tatlong beses bago pumasok. It's like they are waiting for me.
"Cerene, come here" ani Mommy.
Umupo naman ako sa tabi niya at kaharap namin ang abogado ng pamilya.
Atty. Davidson
He greet me formally and I do the same.
"Hindi na ako magpapaligoy-ligoy pa Cyrine.."lumipat ang tingin niya sa'kin "..and to you hija."
"I'm really sorry for Albert's loss but the only property remains is this mansion. All your properties are gone..." marami pang sinasabi si Attorney pero para akong nabingi.
Hindi ko na naiintidihan ang mga sinasabi niya at napatulala. Hanggang sa makapagpaalam si Attorney ay tulala pa rin ako.
My Mom is silent too.
"Paano na tayo Mom?" I ask out of nowhere.
"I-I don't know" wala sa sarili din niyang sambit.
She feel so down so I just hug her. We hugged each other. Even if she's strict most of the time I still love my Mom.
She's still the best mother in the world. We cried inside the library at ng mahimasmasan kami ay hinatid ko sita sa kwarto. She instantly hug the picture frame of her and Daddy during their wedding.
They were both happy at the picture and so inlove in each other but now my mother is mourning for his lost.
"I'm here Mom. We're here" I comforted her hanggang sa makatulog siya.
Bumalik na din ako sa kuwarto ko. I checked my phone and I have so many text and missed calls from Raf.
Reading his message made ma a smile a bit.
He's busy reading his books kaya hinayaan ko muna siya. He need to study and I fully understand that.
I checked my bank accounts and there's just 200,000 pesos.
I sighed heavily.
Nicheck ko din ang email ko. Hoping that I got a reply from my sister but I got nothing again.
Wala na ba siyang pakealam sa'min? Kay Daddy?
Alam kong hindi ganoon ang kapatid ko. Maybe she have reasons but I hope it's a valid one.
Napatulala nalang ako sa kisame. I don't know what to do. I feel so drained. Kailangan kong gumawa ng paraan.
My mother live in luxurious life all her life and now that we don't have money anymore, she can't afford her lifestyle anymore.
Nalulunod na ako sa mga iniisip ko nang mayroong walang habas na nagbukas ng pintuan ko. Gulat na gulat pa ako habang nakahawak sa dibdib ko.
"Oh my God!" gulat kong sabi.
Nagpeace sign naman ang muntik nang madapa na si Berney.
"What are you doing here?" I said and rolled my eyes.
"Grabe ka naman Cerene, ayaw mo bang makita ang kagandahan ko?" he said.
I rolled my eyes again. Dumating lang siya parang magkakaroon na ng bagyo. Pero I'm thankful kasi nawawala sa isip ko ang mga problema ko.
"Gwapo ka sana Bernardo kung hindi ka mahangin" mataray kong sabi.
Hinampas naman niya ang balikat ko kaya sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.
Baklang to!
"Ouch naman Cerene, maganda ako! maganda!" he exclaimed dramatically.
"Ano ba kasing ginagawa mo dito? You weren't our make up artist anymore" pahina ng pahina kong sambit.
Umayos namna siya at nagseryoso ng mukha. He smile sadly. He open his mouth to speak. Akala ko seryoso na ang sasabihin niya.
"Nandito ako para maningil ng utang ni Madame" maloko niyang sabi kaya nahampas ko siya.
"Aray naman Cerene! Joke lang eh" he laugh a bit. He cleared hus throat at nagseryoso na talaga.
"Actually I came here kasi may brand na gustong kunin kang endorser. I know naman you need money kaya..." he said and shrug his shoulder.
"Anong company ba yan?" tanong ko.
"Pornhub" mabilis niyang sagot kaya binatukan ko siya.
"Kahit maghirap nalang ako 'no" maarteng sabi ko and then I rolled my eyes.
"Eto naman hindi mabiro, kilalang brand to dzai! Ang dami mo na rin tinaggihang offer simula nang maging kayo ni Fafa Raf. Siguro naman he will understand if tatanggap ka na ulit." aniya sa tonong naninimbang.
I sigh heavily. I know Raf. He will understand my situation. Kailangan kong kumita ng pera para sa amin.
"He will understand" I said will a low voice.
"Sige sasabihin ko na agad. Bukas na ang shoot. Do you want me to fetch you here tommorrow? Balita ko hinimatay ka daw" he said.
I just nod a bit. Wala na rin naman kaming kotse. All our properties are gone except this house. Maswerte pa rin kami at mayroong natira saamin.
Kahit anong mangyari I won't sell this mansion. Okay lang kumayod ako ng doble para sa pamilya basta matira itong mansion. This is our only property and I won't let it go.
Nagpaalam na rin si Bernardo dahil mayroon pa raw siyang ide-date na hunk. Kinikilig pa ang gaga.
My room is in silence again. I don't want this silence. Hindi ko nagugustuhan ang mga pumapasok sa isip ko. Hinilot ko ang sintido nang makaramdam ako ng hilo.
Ilang minuto lang din naman ay nawala na 'yon kaya pumunta ako sa walk in close para tingnan ang mga signature bag na nandoon.
I don't really need those anyway. Maybe I should sell it at magtira nalang nang ilang piraso para magamit.
Inihiwalay ko ang ibang pwedeng ibenta para mayroon akong pambayad sa mga bills na darating.
"Ma'am dinner daw po" isang katok ang nakapagptigil sa'kin sa mga ginagawa ko.
Hindi ko namalayan na gabi na pala. Sinabi kong susunod na ako. I just change my clothes na pinawisan dahil nakapatay ang aircon.
Sayang naman sa kuryente.
I'll go downstairs and went to our dining. Napatitig ako sa usual na inuupan ni Daddy. Mayroon doong plato, agad nag-init ang gilid ng aking mga mata.
We will never be complete. Nakatungo ang dalawa kong kapatid habang si Mommy naman ay tulala. I cleared my throat so I can get their attention.
"Let's eat" Mom said in a low voice.
Umupo na ako sa lagi kong puwesto. Our dinner is very strange. No one dare to talk and you can here is just the sounf of utensils.
I am eating quietly and not minding them not until I heard sobs of my Mom. Seeing her tears falling nonstop habang nakatingin sa plate sa puwesto ni Daddy ay nadudurog ang puso ko.
I want to comfort her. I want to whispher on her ears that everything will gonna be alright but I can't coz even me know that it will not.
We were not...for now.
"Mom.." I said.
I was about to stand when she motion her hand on me to sit down so I did. We were watching her silently crying and longing for our father's presence.
I saw my sisters simply wipe the tears on their faces. It's more than a heartbreak. Seeing your family like this. Seeing them too weak. Knowing that I can't do anything to ease and take their pain away.
We are all hurt because of our loss.
---
9:27 PM, April 22, 2021
- Writer
