You Wouldn't Dare

CHAPTER 19 - VIOLET

“I’m pregnant,” I said, sucking my lower lip into my mouth, waiting for the

inevitable.

I knew Khaos wouldn’t take this well. No doubt he would scream and

shout about how this was all part of my scheming, knowing he never wanted

children.

I was so prepared for this that I had even been working on my responses,

not willing to be taken for a fool any longer. I wanted him to be a part of this

baby’s life. I wanted us to find a way to co-parent, even if that meant that we

remained as friends and not as true mates.

It was almost as though I had been hit by a lightning bolt. I realised that

the clichés were true – your life really could change in a moment.

As soon as the doctor had confirmed the news, my life had ran through

my mind, sweeping me away with the notion that I had to grow up. I was going

to be responsible for a whole person – a baby. A baby that would one day grow

up to be the Alpha of the Dragonheart Pack or Luna to another Alpha. They had

to be raised in the right environment so they were able to lead their pack to

greatness – with a string of bad examples in our families, we had to find a way to

end the curse and create a pack that was full of change. Our baby would not lead

through fear and they would not be like me, hiding away from their problems or

becoming a nightmare to live with when they didn’t get their own way.

So, with those thoughts in mind, I was so ready to have Khaos argue with

me. So ready to be the one who had matured so that I could point out all the

errors of his ways.

It didn’t occur to me that the same lightning bolt would strike twice.

“Has the pack doctor confirmed it?” He asked quietly. I pulled the phone

away from my ear and glanced at it suspiciously.

“Yes, of course, I have the blood work results here.”

“I’ll be home in a matter of hours, see you soon.”

“Wait!” I shouted before he could hang up. “Aren’t you going to say

anything?”

“We’ll talk when I get home, Violet. I’m not discussing our baby on the

phone.” He hung up without another word.

Well, s**t.

Not quite what I was expecting. I had known he would come home, but

was I really ready to see him again? What mood would he be in when he walked

through the door? His few words on the phone were not enough, his tone gave nothing away.

I ignored my wolf as she chuffed at me. She knew as well as I did that

the most burning question on my mind, whether I was going to admit it, was

whether or not Khaos would be happy to see me.

I spent the next two hours pacing my room, my anxiety rocketing through the

roof. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I knew this was a good thing, that everything

happened for a reason. I knew Khaos and I didn’t always get along, but we both

needed each other to see this through; we needed to be harmonious to one

another. I had no fear that he would let me down; I had already seen his

nurturing side with how fiercely protective he was and how he loved the pups in

this pack. I also knew I had all the love in the world to give to this baby and that

I would learn from my mother’s mistakes, letting them make their own choices

and not forcing my opinions or ideas on them.

However, I also knew I could not protect them, and neither could my

mother’s pack. But Khaos could.

That’s why we needed to find a way to get along, and not just because we

were mates. There could be no more volatile explosions of temper because I had

to stay here in this pack and co-parent with him. We had to put the baby first.

Plus, it was obvious now that we completed each other. He would be the

tough parent; he would guide his children to remain on the road to greatness. He

was the one who would be able to teach them all the ways of the world. He also

had a lot of love to give, and he would have no problem showering his kids in

affection.

It was only adults that he struggled with. Children didn’t have an agenda.

I would be the parent that would be more relaxed – I could point out

when Khaos was being overbearing, pushing the children too much. I could

easily laugh with them, teach them, show them how to hold their own, no matter

the social situation. Khaos would probably roll his eyes at this, but it was true.

Social skills were important, especially when it came to pack dynamics and

hierarchy. Mother took this too far, but she had a point. Reputation played a vital

role in one’s relationship with the world.

Funnily enough, Khaos thought this way too, which was why he attacked

other packs the way that he did.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as the most delicious smell came wafting

through the door. My stomach growled, reminding me how little I had eaten this

past week. The last meal I had kept down had been the deer that Khaos and I had

shared. The baby would need more than this if they were to be healthy. 

Khaos entered the room, carrying a tray of food, and my stomach let out

a vicious rumble as I spotted the succulent, tender meat.

He grinned at me, waving the plate around under my nose in a slow

circle, the smell hitting me stronger than before. I was almost sick as my hunger

pain hit me with full force. He laughed out loud as I almost tore his arm off as I

ripped it from him, swallowing whole chunks of the juicy beef. Goddess, this

was amazing! Pregnancy appetite had already kicked in!

I realised how rude I was being, and my mother’s training kicked in,

demanding I display better manners. With my mouth full I glanced in Khaos’

direction, ready to offer him some food – even though my wolf was growling at

the mere thought of it.

As soon as I drank in the sight of him, I almost choked.

He stood in just a pair of shorts with his arms folded over his bare chest,

gazing at me with a soft, fond expression. His hair was still slightly plastered to

his forehead and his entire skin had a fine coating of sweat. He must have run

the entire way here.

His muscles rippled under his skin, skin that was shining in the light

thanks to the wetness coating him. My mouth watered, and this time it wasn’t the

food.

He twisted his lips ruefully and gestured to his attire, “sorry. I ran here.

This was all I could find within easy reach.”

I simply nodded, unable to take my eyes off his ripped body. I swallowed

down my last bite, pushing the tray to the side, no longer feeling hungry.

At least not for food.

I gave myself a mental kick and forced my eyes off him.

The blood in my veins burned as his scent hit me, and it was all I could

do not to throw myself in his arms. “It’s just hormones, Violet. Ignore it,” I

scolded myself.

The air around us crackled, almost taunting me. I could feel my body

being pulled forwards. It had a life of its own, needing to be near Khaos, unable

to resist the urge. My throat dried up, the tension growing so thick I could almost

taste it. I moved my hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, and my arm

felt heavy. It was as though we were being surrounded by a fog that made the air

almost unbearable, the walls closing in on us.

Why did this happen every time? What was it about us two that made

everything else seem so insignificant? Even when we had a mountain of

problems, the chemistry was undeniable, always ready to ignite at any moment.

The flames of desire licked away at me, filling my bodies with a need that could

only be satisfied in one way. 

Khaos cleared his throat, moving away from me to sit in the chair,

discreetly tucking his erection into the waistband of his shorts. He had noticed

my arousal. Of course he f*****g did.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, giving me a concerned glance from

head to toe.

“Happy. Excited. Scared. Overwhelmed. You name it, I’m feeling it.” I

admitted, figuring I may as well lay all my cards on the table. “How are you?”

“Happy. Excited. Scared. Overwhelmed.” I gave a small chuckle, slightly

relieved to hear him admit I wasn’t alone with my feelings and fears. “It’s not

about me though, it’s about you and the baby. What can I do to put your mind at

ease?”

My head flew back with shock. “You’re not angry?”

He frowned at me, a look of adorable confusion on his face. “Why would

I be angry?”

“Isn’t it obvious? You don’t want children...” He held his hand up to stop

me.

“It takes two to tango, Violet. I was there, I knew the risks that came with

you being in heat. I’m not angry in the slightest, I don’t blame you and I don’t

regret what happened. I take full responsibility for this. If it’s meant to be, it’s

meant to be. I should have had the strength to hold back, but I am beyond

delighted that I didn’t.” He sank to his knees in front of me and took my hands in

his. “That night could not have been any more perfect to me, and though I wish I

could have had you to myself for a few years, I’m glad we made our baby during

such a special time for us.”

“Do you really mean that?” I asked softly, my eyes shining bright with

tears. He raised my hand to his lips and placed kisses along my knuckles.

“Of course I do. Please don’t doubt me when it comes to our baby. I will

be there for you in whatever way you want me to be. I promise.” I gave him a

hesitant smile and asked the question that was burning in my mind.

“Will you still feel the same way if I don’t mate with you?”

“I can’t pretend I’ll be happy about it but yes, I will still feel the same.

Just know that there will never be another male in your life, I can’t have

someone else raising my child.”

“That’s not your decision to make.”

“No, you’re right. It’s an incredibly selfish thing for me to say, but it’s

true. I can’t watch you with someone else. The mate bond will always be

between us. I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you fell for someone in this pack,

but I also couldn’t live if you were to leave and take our child with you.”

“Khaos--” 

“No, Violet. I know I’m being unreasonable, and I swore that I wouldn’t

do this, that I would do things by your rulebook. If you want to see someone

else, I can’t say I’ll be happy or that I’ll even understand, But I won’t stand in

your way. I will have to make them stay on the side-lines, though. You can see

him when the baby spends their nights with me – I’ll go along with your custody

agreement so long as you promise to stay in this pack.”

“None of that will be necessary. I don’t want anyone else, Khaos,” I

admitted with a sigh. He waved his hand as though to brush the conversation

away.

“Let’s just agree to cross that bridge when it comes to it. The most

important thing is proving myself to you, so you let me be a part of your lives.”

He placed a hand over my stomach, his face shining with hope.

“I’d never deny you your right to be a father. I’ve made a lot of mistakes

as far as this relationship is concerned, but from the moment I heard the news, I

knew that you would be a good father. You have nothing to prove to me.” He

pulled me down into his lap, cradling me close to his chest.

“I need to do this right, Violet. I can’t make the same mistakes my

parents did, I need to end my tragic lineage once and for all. No child deserves to

bear that burden. I want to bring joy and happiness to this family for a change, I

can’t have my child growing up hating me.”

I caressed his cheek, my thumb grazing over his lower lip. “You’re

nothing like them, Khaos, please never think like that. Our baby will love you as

much as you love them, I promise.”

“I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to mess up and do all the wrong

things.”

“That makes two of us, buddy.” He kissed the palm of my hand, his teeth

lightly grazing the sensitive skin.

“We’ll get through it together,” he assured me, “we’ll find a style and

rhythm that works for us both.”

“Do you promise?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around his neck and

tucked my head under his chin.

“I promise.”

I sighed, “we still need to talk about Logan and our separation this week.

The baby doesn’t mean a magic wand has been waved and we have erased the

past.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know. But for now, can we leave it? Nothing is

going to be resolved straight away, and everything is still too tense. It’s going to

take time. You know why I did what I did, and I’m sorry, but I won’t apologise

for acting like a wolf. I thought someone was stealing my mate from me and there is not a wolf in the world that wouldn’t have acted similarly.”

“I know that, but--”

“There can be no buts about it. Don’t make me apologise for being true

to what I am.”

“Okay,” I sighed again, “so what about this week?”

“What about it? We had a break. Everyone deserves a break. Heck, there

are people in this very pack that live in separate houses despite being mates. We

don’t have to check ourselves into little boxes of what’s normal and what’s not.

This is our relationship, no one else’s. We will decide what works for us and

what doesn’t. If that means we take breaks from each other, then so be it. So

long as we know that we belong to each other, that we stay faithful and true,

always returning to each other in the end, what does it matter?”

I remained silent, contemplating what he just said.

He was absolutely right.

Why did I feel as though I always had something to prove? Those

ridiculous romance books had schooled me from a young age, warping my

innocent, naïve mind into what was expected of a relationship. It mortified me

that people knew what Khaos and I had gone through, that they didn’t see us as

picture perfect, a couple to look up to.

What did it matter what other people thought, so long as the relationship

dynamic was perfect to us?

We lay like that for some time, both of us content to just be with each other. I

could hear Khaos’ steady heartbeat beneath my head as he slowly rocked me in

his arms in a gentle sway that soon had me drifting off to sleep.

“Can I ask a big favour?” He murmured against my hair. He stood up

with me still in his arms and carried me over to the bed. “Come away with me. I

have a cabin in the mountains we can go to. Just for two weeks, a month tops.

The pack are more than capable of fending for themselves for a while. Let’s

escape, just you and I, and really get to know each other.”

“I’d like that,” I agreed. I was ecstatic with how well this had gone. I had

been expecting the worst and yet here he was, forever surprising me.

I should have known it was too good to be true.

Khaos stepped away from me, guilt flashing behind his eyes for a brief

moment.

“What? What is it?” I demanded. “Don’t lie to me either. I know that

look in your eyes,” I snapped when he opened his mouth. “I’ve had enough

apologies off you for that look to be branded into my mind forever. What is it

this time, what else can you possibly be sorry for?”  

“I kissed someone else.”

“Excuse me?” I got up on my knees and grabbed his jaw. “Repeat that,” I

growled, the anger coursing through my veins. I don’t know what I had been

expecting, but it definitely wasn’t f*****g that!

The one thing I had been sure of was that Khaos would never, ever cheat.

Not after Ryssa and Drake. After Louisa. He would respect the boundaries of our

relationship.

How much of a f*****g fool was I?

“It was in the other pack. We were dancing, and she invited me back to

her room and we kissed. Nothing else hap--” I silenced him with a stinging slap

around his face, the sound ringing out and echoing around the room.

“Don’t you dare stand there and say nothing else happened! As if a kiss

isn’t bad enough on its own!”

“Violet--” I slapped him again, pushing him far away from me. My wolf

growled out in her fierce temper but remained under control. She knew we could

not shift during pregnancy.

“Don’t f*****g “Violet” me! Goddess! You have the f*****g nerve to

lecture me about finding another partner, guilt tripping me about how you

wouldn’t be able to handle it! You had the gall to tell me that so long as we

remained true to each other we could make it work! And all the while you were

fucking throwing yourself at the first available w***e you could find! To think,

you made me feel guilty over Logan when nothing even happened! You said this

time apart was for us to think, Khaos! To see what we wanted! As far as I was

concerned, we were still together!"

“I’m sorry--”

“Don’t! I’m sick of your apologies. It’s the same old routine, isn’t it?

You f**k up, apologise, and stupid little me always forgives! How much of a

doormat do you think I am? How many more mistakes do you really think you

can get away with before I reach my limit?”

I saw the shutters come down once more as he took offence at my words.

“It was a mistake. Don’t blow it out of proportion, nothing happened. I stopped

it before it got that far. Besides, I didn’t need to tell you, I chose to be honest. I

could have kept you in the dark.”

“Kill him, Violet. Bad wolf. Mate needs to be punished!”

“Are you f*****g kidding me right now?” I screamed, feeling anger like I

had never felt before. “Don’t act like you’ve done me a favour, and don’t you

dare twist this on me like I’m being unreasonable! I’ve put up with a lot from

you. I’ve been humiliated in front of the pack for something I didn’t do! In fact,

the only cheat in this room is you!” 

“I was thinking of--”

“Of what? Of me? Well, isn’t that just the perfect cliché! Let me guess,

you stopped when you realised it wasn’t me. Just in the nick of time! Well, thank

you for your consideration, Khaos! You cheated, but at least you had me in your

thoughts!”

“It’s not like that! I was just using her; I was hurt, and I thought--”

“And I wasn’t hurt, was I not? I wasn’t sat in this room feeling like my

fucking heart was breaking. I wasn’t crying every single day you were gone?”

“I thought I had lost you, Violet!”

“You just might yet.”

“Vi--”

“f**k off, Khaos. You knew we weren’t over. The break was to get our

thoughts in order, to take s*x off the table and enable us to think clearer about

what we both wanted! Is that what you decided then? Is that what you want? To

be with other people? Don’t let me or the baby stop you!”

“You’re being ridiculous, of course that’s not what I want. I turned down

so many wolves whilst I was there…”

“Oh well, thank you for that. It means so much to me that you had

women throwing themselves at you left, right, and centre, but you turned them

all down. That’s fantastic news. So, what was it about this one then? What made

her so f*****g irresistible?”

“No, that came out completely wrong. What I meant was--”

“I don’t care what you meant. I can picture it well enough.”

He reached out for me, pain visible in his strained face. I hardened my

gaze, refusing to be swayed by him. He had brought this on himself. I marched

over to the door and flung it open, letting it bounce off the wall behind him as I

gestured into the hallway.

“Get out.”

“Vi...”

“Get. Out.” I muttered through clenched teeth, my entire body shaking

with anger. He hung his head low and walked towards me.

“What about the cabin? Do you still want to go?” He asked in a pathetic,

self-pitying tone.

“I’ll guess you’ll find out if I’m packed and ready to leave tomorrow,

won’t you?” And with that, I slammed the door in his face.