Your Pain Is My Comfort

Veronica

There was a time when life was pretty good. When I didn't have a care in the world. When I could go about my day and enjoy myself. And even if I had had a bad day, the next day, I forgot about it. Because back then, I was a dumb child who didn't have to worry about anything. I didn't know anything. I didn't know why my mother resented my father so much. I didn't know the way she looked at me wasn't with love or even pity. It was disgust.

I don't blame her though. I would say that I know what she's feeling or if I was put in her position, I would act the same way. But I wouldn't. Because if what happened to my mother happened to me and I got pregnant and I decided to keep the child, I would cherish it.

I would know that what happened to me wasn't their fault. I would look at them with love, I would protect them with life.

My mother did none of that. But my father did. Or at least he did in his own way.

Family is f*****g confusing. And for that exact reason was why I left. I couldn't take the fighting or the yelling, or the way my head would spin every time I even thought about my childhood.

I sighed as I walked onto the porch and knocked on the door. I don't even know why I'm here. Her past is none of my business, but I'm f*****g nosey so I had to.

The door opened and a depressed, tipsy, tired ass Angela opened the door. She was surprised to see me but didn't show it. I could smell the vodka from here and it stung my nose. "What are you doing here? More importantly, how do you know where I live?" I just shrugged my shoulders and she rolled her eyes.

"You weren't in class today. I was coming to check on you," I held up my arm. "And brought a peace offering," I held up a box of chocolate with a smile. She looked down at the box and considered it for a second. And for a moment there, I thought this would be the end of whatever problem she had with me. But by the look in her eyes, it was only the beginning.

"Why do you go to her?" I could see she was serious, but also in pain. I didn't have any words to say because I don't know why I still go to her. But I do. And there's no reasonable reason for it.

"I need a therapist. And she's a therapist. I'm sorry for whatever happened between you two but-"

"What happened between us!" She yelled. I slightly jumped back as she rubbed her head. "What she does, what she is," she covered her face with her hands and groaned. I wanted to reach out to her, she was in distress and I didn't know how to help. "Stay away from her, Olivia. Please," I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out.

She waved me off and stepped back. "Please," she shut the door and I crossed my arms. The signs are red. There's warning tape surrounding her. Every sign was pointed the other way. And yet, I keep going back.

I turned and walked away. Taxi's don't drive through here and a Cab would take too long. It was nearing 6 o'clock and the sun was slowly lowering. I decided to walk to my apartment to clear my head.

Our life is shaped by our mind, we become what we think. Joy follows a pure thought like a shadow that never leaves. Having a clear mind and a clear space allows you to think and act with purpose.

Life is too ironic to understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence. I live my life day by day, and I would like to keep it that way. Life is too precious to overthink everything.

I've been in my head for so long I didn't even know where I was walking. Have you ever been in that type of trance? When your writing, or walking, or even reading, and then you get in your head but you continue to do what you were doing just without knowing it? I didn't hit anyone or anything. I stopped at all the cross walking's, and yet, I don't even remember where I turned.

I sighed as I saw a coffee shop and went in. I don't even drink coffee.

The place was small and nice. Smelt good. I walked up to the counter and slightly smiled to myself as I saw they sell hot cocoa. I told the waiter and he nodded and went to go fix it.

What happened between Angela and Venessa that was so bad to the point it put Angela in distress like that just from seeing her? Venessa seems like an independent, strong, educated goddess- I mean woman. But I can't physically see her hurting someone.

But then again. I'm soft. I'm too precious. Too innocent. I've been told that my entire life. I'm a 21-year-old virgin for crying out loud. But being innocent and precious means being small. It means you are easily manipulated. And I hate that. I have been manipulated my entire childhood.

So you best believe I can see what Venessa is doing. And yet. I keep going back. I keep running into her hands. And if I think about it, it's because I see comfort in her. I see protection.

The waiter gave me my drink and I thanked him. I pulled out my wallet to pay but before I could, someone handed the man cash. "Allow me," I looked up and my eyes went big.

A woman with a bright smile and dark blonde hair, pouring over her shoulders, was smiling at me. The waiter took her money and I stepped back a little. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that," I said as I started to look down. I stopped myself from doing so though and cleared my throat. The woman continued to smile at me as if she knew what was going through my head.

"I wanted to," I chuckled a little as I looked around. Her eyes were still on me and I knew there was no chance of me just leaving.

"Ugh, how can I repay you? I could buy you something," I said gesturing towards the menu.

"Well, that would just defeat the purpose of me paying for you now wouldn't it?" Her voice was so f*****g soothing. It wasn't rough but it wasn't soft either. It's like the words just perfectly flowed off her tongue. "A walk would suffice if you would like," she tilted her head forward a bit and I nodded. Her smile soon came back as we walked outside. She opened the door for me and I walked past her.

We started down the street, that now that I think about it, have never been on. "So, I feel like we should start off with something simple. What's your name?" She asked.

"Olivia,"

"Pretty name for a pretty girl," I couldn't stop the smile from creeping onto my lips so I drank my cocoa to hide it. But that couldn't stop my blush from appearing.

"You?"

"Veronica," I nodded my head. That was a pretty name but I didn't want to say back what she said to me. That's f*****g weird. And beyond stupid.

"So Veronica," she slightly laughed. "You live around here?" She sighed as she put her hands into her pockets.

"No. I live in France. I'm just visiting some family," I nodded again.

"France. Long way from home," she shook her head.

"I'm actually from the U.S. I just left because, of well, the same reason why I'm visiting," I chuckled.

"Family is hard. I understand stand that more than anyone," I could see her side-eye me. Most people do. But the way she did it was different. As if she had all the answers to my problem.

"Family is an interesting and hard concept. We were taught as children that family is blood and deep bonds we make with people. And that those bonds and that blood are supposed to hold together no matter what. That parents are supposed to be the bigger person in an argument and take fault, admit they're wrong even if they're not. That you have to stick up for the people you share blood with. That even if they do something to you that hurts you physically and/or mentally we're supposed to stay together. Fight then forgive. But the fact of the matter is. That's not true. Just because you share DNA with someone, doesn't give them the right to anything. Just because your parents made you, doesn't give them the right to hurt you. Sometimes family is the cruelest form of love there is, for no one can hurt you more than the people who created you. Sometimes blood is as thick as water," her words went into my head and stayed there.

I have known this woman for less than ten minutes and I already feel a deeper connection with her than I have with anyone. She soon came to a stop and so did i.

As I looked at her something happened. Something intimate. But it wasn't that. It was the fact that those eyes seemed too familiar. I must have been staring too long and too intensively because she started smiling. "I have to go catch up with that family visit now. But I do hope to see you again Olivia," I started blushing as I looked down at the cup in my hand. "I am a little old fashion, so I do believe it's a little too early to ask for your number. So instead, I will tell you that tomorrow, at this exact time, I will be in that coffee shop. And if I just so happened to run into you, my day would be ten times better," I looked back up at her and nodded my head while trying to hide my smile. "Until then," she pretended to tilt a hat, making me laugh.

Both of us turned and walked away. Of course, I had to turn around to see where she was going, and when I did, I caught her watching me too. But she didn't look away. Instead, she winked at me. I turned back around and continued to walk, my face bright red.

Third-person POV

Veronica was slightly smiling to herself as she watched the girl walk away. She was so small and fragile. She wanted her.

She sighed though as she walked into the building. She hates this place more than anything. She doesn't even know why she's here. She has made a life for herself in France. Although the young girl did make her trip worthwhile, she would rather be back across the country. She rode up the elevator, annoyed before she even sees anyone.

She hated her parents and didn't want to be like either of them. But small patience and a bad temper are something she inherited, just runs through the family. She stepped out of the elevator and rolled her eyes. "So dramatic" she thought.

She walked towards the doors and opened them. She saw the other woman coming out of the backroom and knew exactly what was either happening or about to happen.

The other woman looked up, sensing another presence. Multiple emotions crossed her face but only one seemed to stick. Anger. Annoyance. "And to what do I owe this pleasure?" The other woman asked. Veronica chuckled as she shook her head.

"Just thought I'd drop by. Especially after hearing all the great things about Dr. Morgan, and how her words and methods are so efficient and memorizing," the other woman chuckled mockingly as she went to go sit down at her desk. She leaned back and grinned.

"Nice to know I'm known, even across the globe," Veronica crossed her arms. "So again I ask," the other woman leaned forwards. "To what do I owe the pleasure," Veronica walked towards the woman and sat down in one of the other chairs in front of her desk.

"What? I can't come say hi to my big sister?"