Illicit Love

Chapter 3: The Girl That Didn't Exist

CHARLES

I look at the passing buildings and the people walking on the street. The car stopped. I can't help but stare at the streetlights that are now red as my thoughts go deep.

I let out a huge yawn and closed my eyes. I felt the car move again as I fell into a deep sleep.

"Sir?"

Nagising ako sa pukaw ng driver. I looked around and sighed as soon as I saw the house. For me, my house is worse than any haunted house, as mine has the most terrifying monster.

Lumabas ang driver at binuksan ang pinto para sa akin. I sighed at pinilit ang sarili na lumabas ng kotse.

"Thank you."Ningitian ko ang driver na siyang ngumiti rin pabalik. Tinalikuran ko na siya at naglakad patungo sa pinto. Narinig ko ang pag-andar at pag-alis ng kotse.

I just got off work and I'm really tired. My work is not even finished yet. I have so many unfinished documents that need to be finished immediately. Nangangamoy na rin ako kailangan ko munang maligo.

Pagbukas na pagbukas ko ng pinto sinalubong ako ng galit na si Camille. It looks like I won't be getting a good sleep tonight.

I stopped walking and stared at her for a few seconds. I sighed. Nakaramdam ako ng kirot sa ulo ko. I massage my temples, but it didn't ease the pain. I don't need a massage, I need a life.

I sighed again, at nagsimula na maglakad. What is her problem this time? F*ck. I have to stay calm. I can't even rest at my own house. We had our worst fights already and I even received a beating from her own father, and of course, without mom and dad knowing. Not that it would make any difference. I know how heartless and selfish they are.

Camille didn't expect her father to do that when she reported me to her father, one of the reasons why she won't say anything to his father again.

I don't know, if she really doesn't know that side of her father or if she wants to turn a blind eye. One thing for sure, she already saw enough of how cruel her father is after living in that kind of household.

In that aspect, we are kinda similar. I hope na hindi siya lilipat kina Mom and Dad sa pagsusumbong ngayong hindi na niya kaya magsumbong sa Dad niya.

"WHO THE HELL IS SHE?" Hindi pa nga ako nakapasok sa loob ng bahay ko ay sinalubong na agad ako ni Camille ng sigaw. May pinakita siya sa aking litrato ng babaeng hindi ko naman kilala.

"Why are you shouting?" I sighed and forced a smile at her. "I don't know who she is, okay?" kalmado kong sabi sa kanya.

Lumapit ako sa kanya and forced myself to kiss her on my forehead. I would be adding another drama if I won't, like last time as well.

And what the actual f*ck is this again? This again? Why the hell is she doing this again and again?! Is she not getting tired? Kasi ako sa sobrang pagod ko pinipilit ko na lang ang sarili intindihin ang siya at ang lahat-lahat.

Mga kaibigan na naman ba niya? I can't help but let out a sigh again.

"She's your mistress, isn't she? Tell me!" Napa buntong hininga ako. Hindi ko siya pinagtuunan ng pansin. It's better not to pay any attention to her, cause I know, what I say doesn't really matter, what she sees and hears does.

I don't have a say in everything, that's why it's better not to pay attention to it. It will just give me a huge headache.

Nakita kong lumabas ang maid sa kwarto nito at tinignan ako. I remember the first time she came here, she was traumatized by Camille.

I guess she got used to it but is probably still traumatized. Kahit ang maid ay sanay na sa pag-uugali niya. They can't have a choice. This is why I only hired one. I should increase her salary more. She deserves it.

I don't want another maid leaving again. I also have to be careful not to let another maid get hospitalized again. That time was traumatizing enough.

"CHARLES!"

I sighed.

"Kakain po ba kayo ng dinner, sir?" tanong ng maid habang nakatingin sa akin na may pag-aalala.

I nodded at her in response.

Umakyat ako at naglakad patungo sa kwarto, narinig ko naman ang pagsunod ni Camille sa'kin.

Sigaw pa rin siya nang sigaw pero binalewala ko na lang, mas lalo pang magi-init ang ulo ko sa kanya.

I can't talk back to her, I know what the consequences are, as I've experienced it many times already. I can only beg, and say I'm sorry many times or do something even worse for her.

"Charles!" I heard her shout.

I didn't say anything to her and didn't turn to look at her. I twisted the doorknob and opened the door.

Sinundan niya ako sa loob, she closed the door loudly I almost jumped.

"F*ck you, Charles!" galit na sigaw nito.

Hindi ko pa rin siya pinansin. Nilagay ko ang gamit ko sa kama and I take off my necktie. Binuksan ko ang kabinet at naghanap ng damit na komportable na suotin.

"Why are you not answering me?! Why aren't you denying it?! Totoo ba 'to?!" she shouted angrily. Still, I ignored her.

Nang nakahanap na ako ng damit. Hinubad ko ang polo ko at isinuot ang damit na kakakuha ko lang sa kabinet.

"You should get out. Nagbibihis ako, " I said, coldly.

Nanlaki ang mata nito at nagtaas ng kilay. "WHAT?!" galit na sigaw nito.

Mukhang mas lalo pa siyang galit sa sinabi ko, pero hindi ko pa rin siya pinansin at nagpatuloy sa pagbibihis.

F*ck! I should have not said that. Now I just made it worse.

"CHARLES!" she shouted again.

Pinikit ko ang mata ko at huminga ng malalim.

"What?" I asked without looking at her.

"Are you f*cking cheating at me?" she said, her breath heavy.

"No," I said.

Can I even do that? I don't have that much freedom. It's hard enough already. Also, no matter how much I hate being with you, I don't want to be like that person.

"Liar! F*CKING LIAR! HOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS F*CKING PICTURE THEN?" she shouted while holding a crumpled picture of a girl.

I sighed as soon as I got a look at the girl. I took off my belt and put it on the cabinet.

"CHARLES!"

"WHAT?! THIS IS B*LLSH*T, CAMILLE! CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I'M TIRED!" Galit ko siyang hinarap, hindi ko napigilan na huwag siyang sigawan, punong-puno na ako sa ugali niya. I have enough already! I'm dead tired!

"And now you are shouting at me? Is she really your mistress?" she grunted.

Napabuntong hininga ako at pinilit na pinatahan ang sarili.

"No, she is not," I said, calmly. I really want to rest now. I want this to be over already.

"That's it?! You don't have any other explanation? Is that what you can only think of? Who the hell is she?!" Ginulo ko ang buhok, again, I calmed myself.

"I told you already. I don't know her, mga kaibigan mo nanaman ba ang nagsasabi tungkol dito? 'Ni hindi ko pa nga nakikita ang babaeng 'to, Camille, " I didn't shout this time, because if I do, I'll be making it worse.

"You're lying! Who the h*ll is she? They told me that you were with her, laughing and kissing and you even went to the hotel? How dare you, Charles!" she shouted, I can see the veins in her neck. Her face and eyes are so red.

She keeps shouting and shouting at me while pointing at the picture of the girl she's holding.

I want to cover my ears. I don't wanna hear anything. I didn't even ask to be born. I'm afraid there will be a time that I will think of death as a luxury. I sighed and just looked at her, who kept shouting.

Not even once, I'm sure. Hindi ko pa nakikita ang babaeng nasa litrato. Kahit nagkabanggan man lang. Looking at the picture makes me laugh, it's obvious that the girl didn't even exist in the first place. It's obviously edited.

This is the fourth time that we're fighting because of this ridiculous scheme of her friends. How can she believe them?

"Your friends told you about that? They are obviously lying, Camille. Ilang beses na itong nangyari, but you still believe them? They are just sh*tting you!" I ranted. I couldn't hold myself back anymore.

And as soon as I said those words, I already regretted it. I shouldn't have said anything back, I shouldn't have cursed at her. Now, I just made a hell for me. She looked at me with her eyes widened.

"And now you're cursing? It must be really true! I know you don't love me, but how dare you! I will tell your mom and dad about this!" she yelled. She crumples the picture and throws it to my face.

Hearing what she said, I automatically calmed myself down. She never used dad and mom in our arguments. Her friends? Those schemers! I sighed and forced a smile.

"I'm not cheating. You know I can't and won't do that. If you're suspicious you can ask Mina. Nasa office lang naman ako palagi," I said and gently rubbed her cheeks with the back of my hand and touched her shoulders gently.

How can I separate her from her friends? They are only using Camille. At first, I didn't mind it since it's not causing me trouble, is what I thought. The last time we fought it was also caused by them.

I can't even do anything to them. Doing something to them will just cause me more trouble. Is the world against me that much? I have so much drama going on.

She looked at my hand on her shoulders and touched it gently. She looked at me and smiled widely, her white teeth showing.

"Really?" she asked. Her eyes sparkle. The redness in her face slowly faded.

"Really," I said. Her smile grew even bigger.

It's also a good thing for me that she's easy. I should have been calmer and controlled myself. I didn't think of the consequences enough. I didn't think of my situation enough. How could I forget?

"OK. I'll believe you this time, "she said, smiling brightly.

I might have escaped this time but I don't know about the next time. She used Mom and Dad, she will definitely use them

again the next time we will fight. Hah, it hasn't even happened yet but my headache just got worse.

She giggles, inayus niya ang dami ko at tumingin sa akin. Tumingkayad siya at hinalikan ako sa labi. "After mo magbihis, bumaba ka at kakain tayo," she said, still smiling brightly and widely.

I didn't say anything back to her and just nodded while forcing a smile. She smiled more brightly and wider, at tumalikod.

Tinanggal ko ang ngiti ko at tinignan lang siyang naglalakad patungo sa pinto. She suddenly turned around and I hurriedly forced a smile.

"Hurry, " she said before leaving the room.

As soon as she closed the door, napaupo ako sa kama. F*ck! I'm so f*cking tired. I don't even feel like eating. I just want to lay down and sleep. My head hurts really bad. I want to sleep, f*ckkk!

I sighed and forced myself to stand up. I massage my temples before continuing to change my clothes.

...

I took a sip of the soup that doesn't taste anything. Acting like I enjoyed it, I looked at Camille who's watching me with a big smile on her face.

"Is it delicious?" she asked.

"Hm, " I nodded.

Her smile even became bigger.

"Why aren't you eating?" I asked.

"I'm on a diet," she replied.

I nodded and forced myself to eat the salty scrambled egg and the bitter fish. I almost threw up.

"Oh right! We're having dinner tomorrow. You should call Yvonne. You shouldn't if she's busy," she said, her wide smile not fading.

Napatigil ako sa pagkain and look at her.

"OK. You should prepare gifts," I said.

Inabot niya ang baso ng tubig. I hope this tastes like normal water. Ininum ko ang tubig at naubos ang baso.

"I already did, " she said.

"You should go and sleep. It's past ten," I said.

"What about you?" she asked and yawned.

"I will. Pagkatapos ko gawin ang trabaho ko," pagsisinungaling ko. I will just sleep in the office. She will just force me again.

"Oh, OK," malungkot na tugon nito and pouted.

She kissed me on my cheeks, at umakyat na sa taas. After checking that she's gone, I called the maid.

"Yes po, sir?" the maid asked.

"Did she throw the food?" tanong ko.

"Sinabi ko po kay madam na hindi pa ako nakakapagluto gaya po ng utos niyo," sagot niya. I sighed in relief as soon as heard her.

Ningitian ko siya, "Good," sabi ko.

"Can you get it for me? At pakitapon nito," I said, referring to the food that was barely eaten.

"Yes po, sir," sagot nito.

She took the food on the table and put a new food, this time looks edible.

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang matikim ang nilutong kare-kare ni manang.

A dinner, huh?